No Day But Today: The Lost Episodes

[Princeton]

The history of No Day But Today has been covered elsewhere, but here is an archival refresher for those who might need it. Around about 2004, there was a role-play thread on the forum called "The Moppet Family" that many people thought of as a sitcom even though it didn't exactly follow that format. Shortly after that, D'Snowth started writing an actual sitcom that he posted on the forum called "T*K*O", which was wildly popular. Ever the follower, I started my own sitcom called "No Day But Today", which followed the adventures of Princeton (named after my member name), his fiancee Madison, his boss Puddin' (also Madison's foster mother), his Granny Mae, Puddin's talking dog named Mr. Gus, and a wacky yoga instructor named Colby. The series was a lot of fun to write, but I soon became tired of the characters and because it was the third MC sitcom, the concept kind of became old hat and as such not many people responded to it. Puddin' also ran her own dance studio, where her three prominent pupils were a trio of Muppet Penguins: Olaf, Dwayne, and Murray. In addition to that, the last we saw of the series, the episodes were building up to Princeton and Madison's wedding, but I had canceled the series before we saw the wedding, and many people saw this as quite a let-down, which is in part why I decided to post these lost episodes, as well as the wedding episode. As far as casting choices go, Amanda Seyfried was Madison, and Jerry Stiller was the voice of Mr. Gus. There were also some crucial roles played by actual MC members, namely Redboobergurl as Puddin’ and G-MAN as Colby (not sure if either of them are around much anymore). I know D’Snowth wrote at least one episode where Christopher Walken was a wealthy tycoon wanting to tear down Puddin's dance studio to build a new fitness center. The main reason for this disclaimer is a lot of the celebrity guest stars have passed away since the last episode I posted but since these are lost episodes, it goes without saying that they were still able to participate in these episodes. So all the lost episodes will be posted in this thread and the first one will be posted on Tuesday at the earliest.

 

[D'Snowth]

Once again, I just want to clarify that while yes, I was the head writer of T*K*O, MrsPepper was the true creator of the series, as she was the one who launched the initial thread for a Thread Killers Organization based on her original idea.

But as I told you before, I am so excited to finally get to see these lost episodes!

 

[Princeton]

No Day But Today: “Sing of Good Things”

Written and Created by Princeton

Princeton as Himself

Redboobergurl as Puddin’

G-MAN as Colby

Amanda Seyfried as Madison

Jerry Stiller as the voice of Mr. Gus

Rue McClanahan as Granny Mae



(Open on Mr. Gus standing on a blank stage dressed in a tuxedo, a la Night Gallery)



Mr. Gus: Welcome, everyone, to an all-musical episode of No Day But Today. I guess the best place to start would be with yours truly. (Launches immediately into “Mister Gus”, sung to the tune of “We Got Us” from GOLDEN RAINBOW)

Quick with a smart remark

Shot in the total dark

Hits you like a blunderbuss

He’s our favorite canine

Mister Gus!



Smart as a buggy whip

Shoots right from his old hip

We are describing him thus

You just can’t help but love him

Mister Gus!



Crazy bout chicken wings

Says all the truthful things

Nothing he will not discuss

Though you are tempted to smother

He is our four legged brother

We love no scruffy dog other than

Mister Gus! (Song Ends)

And then of course we have our ultimate bayou maven, the incomparable Granny Mae Montgomery! (Granny Mae comes out and sings “Come to New Orleans” to the tune of “No Time At All” from PIPPIN)

Granny Mae: What good is a gumbo without any sauce

If there isn’t a taste on your tongue

Or if you can’t decide whether you should be bossed

You may as well go and get hung

Before you check out

Leave no room for doubt

For fate to come in and embarrass

But if he does, then come to New Orleans

It’s better than old Paris!

Pour Tabasco all over

Stuff yourself with beignets and you’ll sure be in clover

Better than being forever in blue jeans

Just come to New Orleans! (Song Ends)

Mr. Gus: Now for our favorite ingénue: Madison McDonald! (Madison sings “It’s a Mad World”, to the tune of “It’s a Small World” from the Disney Theme Parks)

Madison: It’s a world of shopping, a world of food

It’s a world of love when I’m in the mood

And Princeton is my man

Let no crap hit the fan

It’s a mad world after all!



There is just one world and it twirls round me

And I raise an eyebrow for all I see

Live for Bravo and OWN

Bernadette and LuPone

It’s a mad world after all!



It’s a mad world after all

It’s a mad world after all

It’s a mad world after all

It’s a mad mad world! (Song Ends)



Commercial Break



Mr. Gus: And we’re back! And now for the woman we hate to love- and maybe even love to fear more than just a little bit- Puddin’ Parker! (Puddin’ sings “Puddin’ Knows Best” to the tune of “Mother Knows Best” from TANGLED)

Puddin’: Puddin’ kniws best

Listen to me now, folks

Learn how Puddin’ logic’s done

Puddin’ knows best

All the rest are just jokes

No one else has ever won

Liquor store clerks

Locker room attendants

Mattress salesmen, fast food types

Carpenters plus

Janitors and teachers

Firefighters and the clergy

Puddin’ knows best

And all I demand is that you accept my behest

No you shouldn’t mess with Puddin’

Puddin’ knows best! (Song Ends)

Mr. Gus: And of course what would any sitcom be without its leading man? Without further dudes, Princeton Clarkson! (Princeton sings “Princeton C” to the tune of “Prince Ali” from ALADDIN)

Princeton: Princeton C, cute as can be

Hails from Toledo

Slender neck, handsome as heck

Don’t you agree?

He owns a fine restaurant

Can cook whatever you want

So come and sample his fabulous crème brulee

Princeton C, witty is he

Lives in Toledo

He’s the shiz, tells like it is

Obviously

And ladies, don’t try to tryst

He’s chained to Madison’s wrist

However can you resist

Our Princeton C!

Mr. Gus: Okay folks, full disclosure time. We could not for the life of us come up with a parody for Colby to sing, so as a way of showing off his physical adeptness, he has decided to regale you with an old favorite. (Colby comes out and sings Chubby Checker’s “The Hucklebuck” while dancing to each corresponding lyric)

Colby: Here’s a dance you should know

Oh baby when the lights are down low

Grab your baby and go

You do the hucklebuck

You do the hucklebuck

And if you don’t know how to do it

Then you’re outta luck

You push your baby out

And then you hunch your back

You get a little movement in your sacroiliac

You wiggle like a snake

You waddle like a duck

That’s what you do when you do the hucklebuck!

Mr. Gus: Now come on back out here, you old so and so’s, and take your bow! (The other four characters run back out and they all bow)

The End

 

[D'Snowth]

Ooh, a musical episode! Awesome! Makes me think of how some shows would do musical episodes close to the end, like that opera episode of Dexter's Lab. Fun songs too - if only we could actually hear these songs for realsies, that'd be so cool. Say . . . any chance of a NDBT soundtrack?

 

[Princeton]

Ooh, a musical episode! Awesome! Makes me think of how some shows would do musical episodes close to the end, like that opera episode of Dexter's Lab. Fun songs too - if only we could actually hear these songs for realsies, that'd be so cool. Say . . . any chance of a NDBT soundtrack?

I remember that episode of Dexter's Lab but I completely forgot about it when I wrote this episode. If anything I was thinking more of the musical episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. You are probably being facetious about the soundtrack but that might be more of a possibility than you might think. My birthday is in 3 weeks and there's a very good chance that I might be getting a webcam. If I do, I see no reason why I shouldn't be able to record myself singing the parodies featured in this episode.

 

[Princeton]

No Day But Today: “Go For The Gusto”

Created and Written by Princeton

Starring Princeton as Himself

Redboobergurl as Puddin’

Amanda Seyfried as Madison

Jerry Stiller as the voice of Mr. Gus


Open on Puddin’s living room. Puddin’ and Madison are chatting.


Puddin’: So Mad, what does Prin have going on tonight?

Madison: His bachelor party.

Puddin’: What the freak-a-leak? Madison, surely you disapprove.

Madison: Of course not; I don’t have any reason to.

Puddin’: So then you’re saying he’s completely trustworthy?

Madison: Yes! He’s never given me cause to not trust him.

Puddin’: That’s only because until now he’s never been in a situation where he’d be tempted. Well, needless to say, I’m appalled.

Madison: Puddin’s appalled; now there’s a novel concept.

Puddin’: Oh, do be still! (Just then, Princeton walks in). You make me wanna call for a Buick, you unbelievable cad! (Walks out)

Princeton: So then I take it she heard about the bachelor party?

Madison: Yes; she’s devastated that you’re going to have more fun tonight than she is.

Princeton: And how can I help it? I hate frozen yogurt and “Barnaby Jones”.


Commercial Break


Open on Puddin’s living room the next morning, only this time Madison is pacing around the room franticly.


Puddin: I hate to say ‘I told you so…”

Madison: Then don’t!

Puddin’: Well, don’t worry, darling; simply trust your instincts!

Madison: My old instincts are gone now thanks to you!

Puddin’: Now don’t take this out on me!

Madison: Would it have killed you to keep your opinions to yourself?

Puddin’: Possibly, so why risk it? (Just then Princeton enters timidly) Oh Prinny, thank heaven you’re safe!

Madison: Where on earth have you been all day?

Princeton: Please don’t yell. I just woke up an hour ago. And admittedly I’m a little drunk but you have my word that none of the things you think happened happened… not to me, anyway.

Puddin’: Why such a specific addendum to that sentence, Prin?

Princeton (loud sigh): Okay, I guess it’s best to just show you. (calls out towards door) All right, come on in. (Mr. Gus enters, wearing Madison’s wedding dress. Puddin’ faints).


Commercial Break


Open as before with Madison fanning Puddin’ who is lying on the couch.


Madison: Okay, how exactly did this happen?

Princeton: Well, it was a long series of bizarre events that happened in a baffling continuity.

Mr. Gus: In other words, ladies, we made “The Hangover 4”.

Madison: Considering that you accept the existence of the third one.

Puddin’: Now Mad, this is no time to be cavalier!

Madison: Well, I’m not looking for explanations but it has to be said: how in the world did you manage to keep it so clean?

Puddin’: I said don’t be gauche, Mad!

Madison: Puddin’, you don’t understand! This dress is a shade of white that exists only in a Ray Bradbury story and as such I was not looking forward to getting it cleaned before the wedding. At the very least all it’ll need are a few spritzes of Fabreze to curb the dog smell. No offense, Gus.

Mr. Gus: None taken, Madame de Farge.

Puddin’: Anyway, how are we going to get him out of it?

Princeton: If it wasn’t for his fur getting stuck in the zipper, I would’ve had him out of it before we got here.

Puddin’: Well then we’ll just cut the fur out around the zipper.

Mr. Gus: Then the length will be uneven.

Puddin’: Luckily I was planning to get you groomed before the wedding anyway. Surprise!


The End

 

[D'Snowth]

My only quibble with this one is that I wish we could have actually seen what went on with at the bachelor party that resulted in Mr. Gus wearing Madison's wedding dress. Other than that, I really liked the dialogue and interactions in this one.

 

[Princeton]

My only quibble with this one is that I wish we could have actually seen what went on with at the bachelor party that resulted in Mr. Gus wearing Madison's wedding dress. Other than that, I really liked the dialogue and interactions in this one.

Seeing the reaction rather than the action was the whole point . Plus in my hands a subject like bachelor parties run the risk of going a little too far and since I knew I'd be posting it on MC it didn't seem worth it. I will post the wedding episode within the next few weeks.

 

[Princeton]

I'm having a difficult time finding a suitable plot for the wedding episode so it might still be a while before I post it.

 

[D'Snowth]

I thought you already had them written, just never aired them - like how some shows get canceled after only a few episodes have aired, yet an entire season was produced.