No Day But Today- "One Night at the Fairbanks's"

[Princeton]

No Day But Today- Episode 13
Airdate- 6-22-06
Written & Created by Princeton
Based on an idea by G-MAN
Starring: Princeton as Himself
Redboobergurl as Puddin’
G-MAN as Colby
Mary Scheer as Wilhelmina

Open on Puddin’s living room. Princeton’s house has to be fumigated, so he has no place to stay. Puddin’ is naturally his first choice.

Puddin’: Prinny, I’d love to, but I already made plans.
Princeton: Plans that you couldn’t include your best friend in?
Puddin’:Well, believe it or not, Prin, these plans don’t involve you. Plus, I’d rather it be a surprise.
Princeton: Oh, I see, secrets now, huh? I guess our friendship isn’t that valuable to you, then.
Puddin’: Oh, ALL RIGHT, Prin! I’m taking in a foster child, and we’re going clubbing at Rembrandt’s.
Princeton: You’re going *clubbing* with a foster child?
Puddin’: Relax, Prin, she’s nineteen. Anyway, let me call Colby and see if *he’ll* take you in for the night. (dials phone) Colby? Hello, darling, it’s P Squared! Listen, Colby, would you mind taking in a houseguest for the night? Prin? Oh, that’s marvelous! You don’t think Mina will mind? Okay, I’ll send him over. Toodles, toodles, sauce and noodles! (hangs up) It’s all set, Prin. Go home, pack up an overnight bag, and I’ll drive you there.

Commercial Break

Open on Colby’s kitchen table. Colby and Princeton are sitting there, waiting for Wilhelmina to come down.

Princeton: Well, thanks for letting me spend the night, Colby. House needed fumigating; you know how it is.
Colby: No explanation necessary, Prin. Glad to do it. (sees Wilhelmina) Hey there, you gorgeous stack of pancakes! This here’s Princeton.
Wilhelmina: Sweetheart! (runs over and gives Princeton a huge hug) Oh, sorry, dear, but I just LOVE meeting new people. Especially handsome, young men. Not that I’m complaining. (gives Colby a wink)
Colby: 10-4, my little Raisinette. So, what culinary concoction did you cook up, Mina?
Wilhelmina: Oh, just a big ol’ juicy pot roast. I hope you fellas enjoy.
Princeton: I’m sure we will. So, where did you guys meet?
Colby: Oh, just a little place called the senior prom. Class of ‘74, danced til we were sore.
Wilhelmina: SO sore that the majority of the following week was spent slathering each other’s tootsies with Gold-Bond.
Colby: See, that’s TRUE love there, boy.
Princeton: Lovely. Uh, guys, I believe I’m no longer hungry. I think I’ll just hit the sack. ‘Night. (runs upstairs)

Commercial Break

Open on the guest room where Princeton is sleeping. It’s 2:00 A.M. when the phone rings.

Princeton: Hello?
Puddin’: Hey, Prin! How’s it going?
Princeton: Terribly!
Puddin’: It’s Mina, isn’t it?
Princeton: You bet your sweet Betsy it is! She tells gross stories while we’re *eating*, and I’m not getting any sleep because she’s sawing lumber in the room right next to me. Are you home yet?
Puddin’: Yes, I’ll be right over.
Princeton: Thanks a million, Puddin’. (hangs up).

Cut to the living room a few minutes later. Princeton’s sitting on the couch, ready to go, when Wilhelmina comes down.

Wilhelmina: And just where do you think you’re going, Mister Man?
Princeton: Oh, Puddin’ came home early and offered me to pick me up.
Wilhelmina: It’s me, isn’t it? I know I’m obnoxious, I admit it! But please don’t judge me too harshly; I’m really trying to change.
Princeton: It’s really okay, Wilhelmina. Puddin’ just didn’t forewarn me, but I have nothing against you. (horn beeps outside) Well, see ya!

The End

 

[D'Snowth]

Well, this was a rather funny and rather interesting episode. Seemed kinda like a cliff-hanger ending to me, but that's cool.

 

[Princeton]

Seemed kinda like a cliff-hanger ending to me, but that's cool.

Yeah, I thought so too, but I was in a hurry to finish it.

 

[D'Snowth]

G! I C!

 

[redBoobergurl]

Cute! I liked how Puddin' called herself "P Squared" I thought it was funny! Anyway, another great episode, I really enjoyed it!

 

[MartyMuppets]

I got a laugh from the line about Mina keeping you awake at night by sawing lumber in her own room LOL

 

[Princeton]

Bump

 

[BEAR]

Very funny stuff. Could be longer though. I liked the "Toodle toodles sauce and noodles."

 

[Princeton]

Very funny stuff. Could be longer though. I liked the "Toodle toodles sauce and noodles."

I was in such a "bumping" frenzy that I didn't think to explain the references of some of everybody's favorite parts:

-"Toodles, toodles, sauce and noodles": When I was in high school, there was this kid in my class who always signed his e-mails with "toodles". Well, I decided to one-up him, and even though I don't sign my e-mails with the extended version of "toodles", I always remembered my very clever one-up.
-"P Squared": Puddin's first and last name both begin with "P", and in algebra when you have two of the same variables, that variable is squared. So, two "P"'s becomes P Squared. This originated with my former obsession with Lindsay Lohan, and to save my breath, I referred to her as "L Squared".
-"Sawing Lumber": There was an episode of Designing Women where Julia's son came home from college with a forty year old woman. Well, the next morning, Julia was describing the woman's snoring as sawing lumber.