This one is DEFINITELY on the long side, but I had a blast writing it. It's a bit dramatic in the end there, but come on! We all have dreams, don't we? We all have VERY specific ways that we want these dreams to play out. I wrote my ideal, and it's very much cheesy and impossible and toots my horn more than it should be tooted, but hey! This is my imagination. If you think it should happen some other way, make a story!
I'm kidding, of course. Enjoy!
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Part 7
It was the end of week two in The Muppet Studios. I was sitting in the Guest star dressing room set wearing the costume from "The Way You Look Tonight," getting ready for my scene with Gonzo. The last thing I’d shot had been a bit with Kermit where I'd come off stage after the “The Way You Look Tonight,” number. In it I had once again asked where I could find Gonzo, and then gone up to my dressing room.
I had watched them shoot a few other scenes since then: one had Kermit talking to a very frustrated Gonzo about how his acts were getting ridiculous and that he needed to find me and give me back my dress (Gonzo had been wearing the closing number dress at the time, so I believe it took place right after his trapeze stunt with Fozzie), another with Kermit and Piggy about her backup pigs, who had continued to cause mayhem (in the beginning of that scene, The Electric Mayhem had swaggered off stage, so I assumed it was after the “Little Drop of Poison,” number), and another that was Muppet Labs.
I’d been thrilled to meet Beaker and Bunsen; growing up they’d always been my mom’s favorites. Just the way Bunsen talked and the way Beaker panicked somehow always made her laugh. They were very much how I thought they’d be; Bunsen insisted on trying to tell me about the latest Muppet invention, and Beaker kept giving me signs of warning to not take anything Bunsen gave me, his eyes full of fear.
When I wasn’t at the studio I’d been practicing my song for Gonzo as often as I could. I’d been editing it, taking things out to make it shorter, and completely losing my mind over it ever since Kermit told me I could perform it on the show. I’d written the song when I was seventeen years old and nearly forgotten how to sing it.
I had expected to receive a script for my scene with Gonzo in the dressing room, but I had never been given one. When I asked Kermit about it, he’d told me to just fly with it.
So there I was, waiting. I had a nervous ball in my stomach, but something told me it was going to be alright; over the past two weeks I’d seen so many of my dreams come true and faced more excitement than all the rest of my 20 years combined, but now I felt very much at home. I still felt a thrill when Kermit bobbed toward me, or Scooter peaked his spectacled face around a doorway, but the nerves were gone, along with the formalities. I felt no apprehension about saying Kermit’s name, and I wasn’t wary of joining Rowlf whenever I saw him singing, or hugging Fozzie when he tried to tell me a joke and ended up embarrassing himself. I’d even had a rather lengthy conversation with Floyd about the influence of indie music, and I’d played my ukulele with Janice as we sang, “Got My Mind Set On You.”
I rarely saw Gonzo unless he was shooting. In fact, Zoot and Bunsen weren’t often around either. At first I was saddened and, I’m ashamed to say, a little offended that Gonzo wasn’t ever around like Fozzie or Kermit; I mean, Miss Piggy had haughtily said, “Good day, Miss Kaying,” to me twice, but that was to be expected, but I’d been hoping to see Gonzo quite a lot. Then I realized; Dave.
Dave was not a young man. If I hadn’t asked for him, he probably wouldn’t have been here in the first place. These times I’d been able to see Gonzo had been, in a way, special circumstances. I’m very lucky, I mused, plucking at my ukulele.
“Hey, uh, Molly? Are you ready to get started?”
Kermit’s voice hurled my back from my thoughts. I shook myself and smiled at the frog; he’d made a habit of no longer calling me “Ms. Kaying,” and I was very glad for the abandonment of that particular formality. It made the ball of nerves in my stomach disappear.
“You got it,” I replied.
“Alright, here we go,” said the frog, “Now I know we didn’t give you any lines, but don’t you worry. If you need any direction, just ask, and if you mess up, don’t worry about it. Like I said, fly with it.”
“Alright,” I nodded.
“Good. Oh, and Molly?”
“Mmhmm?”
“Why don’t you keep plucking that ukulele of yours? It, ah, it seems like it might be a nice way to start the scene, hmm?”
I laughed, “You got it.”
“Oh good. Alright, everybody ready? Okay, here we go!”
I started plucking at my ukulele and I heard the cameras start rolling. I went on like that for a couple of seconds. I actually picked out the intro to “Rainbow Connection,” without thinking when I heard a knock on the door.
“Come in!” I said, still playing my ukulele.
I heard the door open, and a quiet, sad, scratchy, familiar voice said, “Ms. Kaying?”
I stopped playing and put my ukulele down, turning toward the door, “Gonzo! Is that you?”
“Yeah.”
“I’ve been looking for you everywhere,” I said excitedly, “Here, I’ve got something… Oh, but what’s wrong? And, um, why are you wearing my blue closing number dress?”
“Oh, this,” said Gonzo, coming forward and looking down at the dress, “I sort of just fell into it.”
“And is that why you’re sad?”
Gonzo heaved a heavy sigh, “Nah, the dress is great! It’s just,” and he got a distant, slightly tragic-hero look in his eyes, “sometimes it gets a little lonely at the top.”
“Oh? How do you mean?”
“Well, I’m an artist.”
“Of course,” I agreed.
“And a genius,” said Gonzo, his eyes widening.
“That goes without saying.”
“And devilishly handsome,” he said, his eyelids waggling at me.
“You’re pushing your luck, kid,” I said, smirking.
“Right.”
I laughed, and then asked, “But why are you sad?”
“Well, if all those wonderful things are true, why is my incredible, spectacular, and death-defying art never appreciated?”
“Never appreciated?” I said, astounded, “How could you say that?”
“Well, Kermit told me my last act was too –“
“What?” I interrupted, “Amazing? Fabulous? Incredibly inspiring?”
“Silly.”
“Well that’s certainly a possibility,” I said, and Gonzo looked more downcast than ever.
I laughed and put my hand on Gonzo’s shoulder, “That’s okay, Gonzo! Silly isn’t a bad thing. In fact, silly is one of my very favorite things!”
“It is?” asked the Whatever, his eyes wide and hopeful.
“Sure it is! I’ve always thought all your acts were wonderful, and sure sometimes they were a little silly, but that’s what made me love them more!”
“You’ve seen my other acts?” he asked, “Wow!
“Of course I have! I’m a huge fan. In fact, that’s why I’ve been looking for you,” and I picked up my ukulele, making sure it was in tune, “When I was a kid, and my parents showed me The Muppet Show, I wrote a song about something very special.”
“Oh yeah? What’s it about?”
“You,” I said, smiling.
“Me?” he said, his eyes as wide as I’ve ever seen them, “Cool!”
“Would you like to hear it?”
“Sure! Go on!”
“Alright,” I said, laughing. Strumming my ukulele, I started to sing
"Years watching your show, you know,
It was quite a view
Talking frogs, singing pigs, dancing chickens
But nothing else quite like you
You’re blue, you’re fuzzy, you’re charming
What’s a human gal supposed to do?"
"Your stunts go wrong again and again
I’m wishing I could be your hen
That’s what I wanna do, it’s my endeavor
My little Whatever"
“Hahaha! This is great,” cried Gonzo; he’d been dancing erratically around the dressing room.
“Well I’m not done yet, Gonzo,” I said, still strumming.
“Oh, sorry,” he said.
“Don’t sweat it. Two, three, four! –“
"Just cry out, “ARRIBA!”
And you brighten up my day
There you go, blowing your trumpet
And the note you never get to play
When those ladies spout about your weirdoness
It gives me something I’ve gotta say"
"They all make fun of your nose
But my affection for you just grows
You’re brave, and daring, and clever
My little Whatever"
“Okay, here comes the bridge,” I said, smiling.
"You tell me you’re an artist
And that’s a wonderful thing to say
I tell you ain’t no other artist
That makes me feel this way!"
“What way?” said, Gonzo.
“Queasy,” I said laughing, and this time Gonzo counted, “Two three four! –"
"So now I’m ukulele picking
For the way you feel about a chicken
Will there be another you, I’m thinking never
My little Whatever"
"I’ll whoosh to you, just call me whenever
My little Whatever
My little Whatever"
I slowly stopped strumming my ukulele, smiling down at the Whatever standing beside me.
"WOW!" he said, his eyelids up as far as they could go.
"See?" I said, "You're wonderful."
"Well gosh, Ms. Kaying, thanks!" he said, scratching his head, "Now, uh, how about a little kiss for your litter whatever? Hmm?"
I laughed, "Alright," and kissed him on the nose. He swooned and sighed, making me laugh more.
"Now, hows about you go change out of my dress?" I said.
"But of course, Molly my sweet!" he cried, whooshing out of the room.
I laughed, then turned to the camera and said, "Us weirdos got to stick together, you know?" and I put on a pair of trick glasses and made a face to the camera.
The reaction I got hadn’t been what I was expecting. The director shouted cut, and there was nothing; dead silence was what I was greeted with. I felt my heart sink past my stomach as I looked around the room; everyone's eyes were wide. I felt like I wanted to shrink into the chair I was sitting in.
"I'm sorry," I said sheepishly, holding back that catch in my throat that was threatening to send tears to my eyes, "I'll do it again, just give me your notes, I'll do it better."
"Molly," Kermit said, coming forward, his voice quiet,"That was... That was."
"I know," I said, "I'm sorry, I just -"
"No, that was wonderful," he said, holding up his hand.
"What?" I said, my mind feeling foggy. Gonzo came from back stage and stood next to Kermit, looking dazed.
"That was GREAT, Ms. Kaying!" said Gonzo, his eyes wide.
"Oh," I said, my heart making it's way back to my chest, "Well, I couldn't have done it without you, Gonzo."
"How about a hand for our very special guest star?" said Kermit.
The crew started cheering, but it wasn't just them; Fozzie, Floyd, Janice, Scooter, Rowlf, and may other Muppets as well had shown up some time during the scene without my notice. They were all cheering. I felt the blood rising in my face.
"Thank you," I said quietly. Gonzo rushed up to me and hugged my arm; I turned and hugged him tightly and carefully back.
I realized, I never wanted any of this to end.
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There you go! That's my scene with Gonzo the Great! Hope you enjoyed it. I definitely did; it was a fun time having that inside my head, playing out.
Thanks for reading if you read it. Hopefully I'll have time for more!
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