My fiancee left me

[BorkBork]

This week has not been a trip to the amuzementpark for me. I feel the need to get some things out of my head and i hope you people understand. Those of you that can't handle depressed people, look away now.

Me and my fiancee has had it a bit turbulent lately. After we'd been to her parents place on easter she hasn't been herself. It's like she's built a gigant wall around herself. I wasn't aloud to get close at all. I asked her what was wrong, but never got a real answer. I thought it was PMS in the beginning, because it was that time of the month for her.

Well, a few weeks went and last weekend she went by herself to her parents place. I thought it would be a good idea for her to get some time off, and perhaps when she got home we'd be able to talk things through.
Sunday came, and i called her up to tell her i miss her, and was looking forward to seeing her again. Then she told me over the phone she'd be moving to her parents and was breaking up with me. Naturally i was devastated. I cried on the phone, stood there shaking, not knowing where to go or what to do. I had constant panicattacs, and was having problems breathing. This you might feel is a bit much of a reaction, but we've been together for nine years.
We've been planning to have kids and perhaps get married next year wich would be our tenth. Now all of that is down the drain and we'll both have to start our lives over. I am now living at my sister's place, just until i can find a new place of my own.

I went over to our old appartement today to pack my things. I had to do a very quick job because i am moving out tomorrow. It has gone a bit fast, and it is very hard for me. Still today after i packed my things i actually thought positively about the future. She was the most wonderful person i have ever got the chance of getting to know. But i thought, how wonderful she may have been, there will be someone that is even better someday. Because i can't live alone, i am just not that kind of person.

Ones again i appologize for brining you down, but as i said, if you can't handle this don't read it. Thanks to anyone who wishes to support me, because i really need it.

/Anders

 

[Fragglemuppet]

I'm very sorry to hear about this. Nine years is a long time. Maybe she'll come to her senses eventually. Even if she doesn't though, I wish you the best of luck in the future.

 

[Ilikemuppets]

(((Hugs))) to you Anders if it makes you feel any better!

 

[Skye]

Oh my gosh, Anders, I am so sorry. If you do want to, I hope you will be able to get an answer as to what happened and why she left like that. But I wish you so much luck in your future.

And know that if you ever need to talk again, we're all here to listen!

 

[BorkBork]

Thank you all for your support. I went over there today to get my things. It was really tough. I am sitting at my sisters place trying to feel at home. Nowhere will feel like home for a while. They say home is where the heart is, but my heart is with her and she doesn't want me there.
For the first time today she opened up just a little bit. At least that is how i interpreted it. When i got there for the last time i said hello to her with a somewhat happy tone. I thought i didn't want to show her how sad i was. So she said " you seem to be taking this fine", as if she was fishing for my feelings. I told her i was not fine, and asked her how she felt. She got a really sad look on her face and paused before she told me that she has alot of different feelings about this, and that the lonelyness would be terrible for her. Now i don't want to get too exited, but i am really hoping for her to have second thoughts about it.
I am off to bed now. Thanks again for your support!

 

[Muppet Loverr]

I hope you too get back together...god forbid...you dont find that conection withanyone eles...I would hate that...GOOD LUCK!

 

[mikebennidict]

Thank you all for your support. I went over there today to get my things. It was really tough. I am sitting at my sisters place trying to feel at home. Nowhere will feel like home for a while. They say home is where the heart is, but my heart is with her and she doesn't want me there.
For the first time today she opened up just a little bit. At least that is how i interpreted it. When i got there for the last time i said hello to her with a somewhat happy tone. I thought i didn't want to show her how sad i was. So she said " you seem to be taking this fine", as if she was fishing for my feelings. I told her i was not fine, and asked her how she felt. She got a really sad look on her face and paused before she told me that she has alot of different feelings about this, and that the lonelyness would be terrible for her. Now i don't want to get too exited, but i am really hoping for her to have second thoughts about it.
I am off to bed now. Thanks again for your support!

Here's something you should consider.


You lived iwth her for 9 years?

Do you think it's possible reguardless how much you love her you should find someone else?

I figure if you had your way you and her would be married by now.

If you want to continue to wait till she changes her mind then that's fine too but to wait for so long to me is in itself a problem and maybe she just isn't all that well off for you to be with her.

 

[BorkBork]

I've somehow accepted the fact that she's left me, but it is still very hard. I thank you for your support. I am still hoping and praying for us to get together again. It is really hard to just forget about her. I am trying not to think about her, and when i have something to do it works fine, but in the mornings and evenings i get very sad. I love her so much, and i want those feelings to be answered so bad. If anyone feels like praying for us, please do. The power of prayers are amazing at hard times.

Thanks again

 

[Vic Romano]

I'm just like you in the sense that I can't be alone. I haven't been single longer then two months since I was 15. I've been married now for almost four years and we've been together 9 years, so I can imagine how devestating all this is.

At first, while I was reading this, I thought; "Poor guy, he's probably a young kid in his very early twenties who is clearly an old fashioned romantic and is facing for the first time what everyone has to face.

Then I saw we're almost the same age and been with someone for a long time, and my heart just sank to the floor. The plus side is that you have family to help and it certainly doesn't hurt to vent here either where almost everyone will lend that sympathetic ear. I'm amazed at your personal strength to already so positively look at the future, I think that's awesome, man.

It's clear from your passionate post that you really are an old fashioned romantic, and while I could give you the undoubted truth that girls will be knocking down your door because you're clearly a rare breed (and ladies LVE that), I know while it probably makes you smirk, it's not that comforting because you're that dying breed that doesn't want a hundred girls... just one.

I always wondered if I was presented with a similar situation if I'd see it as a new beginning or the complete end, and it appears you have the right attitude, which I applaud.

So from the looks of it, I'd say you're going to be okay, but remember that there's nothing wrong with being sad right now either. You need to mourn in some ways, it's healthy.

 

[BorkBork]

I'm just like you in the sense that I can't be alone. I haven't been single longer then two months since I was 15. I've been married now for almost four years and we've been together 9 years, so I can imagine how devestating all this is.

At first, while I was reading this, I thought; "Poor guy, he's probably a young kid in his very early twenties who is clearly an old fashioned romantic and is facing for the first time what everyone has to face.

Then I saw we're almost the same age and been with someone for a long time, and my heart just sank to the floor. The plus side is that you have family to help and it certainly doesn't hurt to vent here either where almost everyone will lend that sympathetic ear. I'm amazed at your personal strength to already so positively look at the future, I think that's awesome, man.

It's clear from your passionate post that you really are an old fashioned romantic, and while I could give you the undoubted truth that girls will be knocking down your door because you're clearly a rare breed (and ladies LVE that), I know while it probably makes you smirk, it's not that comforting because you're that dying breed that doesn't want a hundred girls... just one.

I always wondered if I was presented with a similar situation if I'd see it as a new beginning or the complete end, and it appears you have the right attitude, which I applaud.

So from the looks of it, I'd say you're going to be okay, but remember that there's nothing wrong with being sad right now either. You need to mourn in some ways, it's healthy.

Thank you so much for these words. You seem to understand me completely. Indeed am i an old fashioin romantic, and i just want live with one woman in my life, not hundreds. My family is very supportive, and that is great.
I am also a songwriter/producer so i recon there will come a few good songs out of this.
I'll be okay, Vic, you are so right, but for now i am mourning. It will take time to heal, but that's how life works. I am very concirned for her happiness aswell, so if she's better of without me, then so be it. Perhaps there will come a new time for us, but right now i just take every day as it comes.