Muppets Tonight Melodrama. A Scene

[Salmoto]

Writing scenes is something I can get into more than writing show outlines. Here's one for Muppets Tonight.

Rizzo: Okay, it's time to set up for the big melodrama act.
Clifford: Terrific, who do we got to play the damsel in distress?
Rizzo: Um....nobody....
Clifford: Okay, how about the big hero, the evil landowner?
Rizzo: Nobody and......uh......nobody....
Clifford: Here we go again.....
(Piggy enters)
Piggy: Fear not, for once again Moi is willing to step in and lend her talent to this two-bit show.
Clifford: Great, great, you're on, in about 15 seconds.
Piggy: Ah! (Makes a run for the stage)
Rizzo: (scoffs) Our hero....
Clifford: Now what about the other two?
Rizzo: Don't worry I got it covered...

(Skip to the melodrama scene)
Piggy: Oh me, oh my, the well has gone dry, I have no food for my children, no hope in ever surviving......
(Pepe enters wearing a top hat and a big moustache)
Pepe: Ha-Ha-Ha, I have come for the rent, ok....you should give me the money, ok..
Piggy: But I have nothing to give.....please show mercy on an old widow.....
Pepe: You do not have the rent? You wouldn't want me to toss you out into the cold, ok. It's very cold out there, ok.... You're gonna need to bring a pair of mittens....
(From offstage)
Rizzo: Oh great, the shrimp is an ad-libber.....
(back onstage)
Piggy: Oh, please! please! anything but that, I have 3 children!
Pepe: Is no use begging, ok, this property belongs to me ok....
(there's a tap on the door)
Pepe: Oh, excuse me a second, ok....(walks out the door, comes back wearing a lumberjack outfit and shirt) Fear not, fair damsel, I will make good work of this cheating varmint, ok....
(From offstage)
Rizzo: Hey, Seymour was supposed to play the hero...
Clifford: What happened to Seymour?
(Seymour wanders past with a boiling pot over his head and holding a wooden spoon.)
Rizzo: I get the feeling we're gonna be asking that alot....
(back onstage)
Pepe: (still on the other side of the door, rustling the backstage) You hold it right there, ok, so I can hit you with this axe ok.....never, I will never hold still, ok, that axe looks sharp and rusty, ok......
Piggy: I don't believe this....
Pepe: (wanders back into the scene, dressed in parts of both costumes, one of his arms is around his neck and the other 3 are punching him.) You should give up, ok......Never, I'll never give up, ok....(Falls down on the floor)
Piggy: (looks down at him) I'm saved....I think......
Pepe: I think I scraped my knee, I need a bandaid, ok......
(Offstage)
(Piggy stormes in, huffing)
Piggy: That's it, that's the last time I work on this show, and I mean it.....
Rizzo: Oh, then I suppose you don't want to sing a duet with Elliot Ghould then...
Piggy: Elliot Ghould? I'm so there! (runs off again)

 

[King Prawn]

That was great, you really captured the Muppet Magic

 

[Fozzie Bear]

That was fun!