theprawncracker
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Now that I may be able to pull off. Gotta see if the homework demon is being nice or not...The Count said:
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Muppet Fan-Fic: Don't Trip the Driver
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theprawncracker
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Heh, I'm sure Uncle D. would be happy to oblige. ...I wonder if he knows how to do Geometry...
Beauregard
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You realize that sounds as if you are married to someone who broke the lasagna rule and has ceased to exist on Wednesdays, right?theprawncracker said:
theprawncracker
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*blink blink* I can honestly say that I had never thought about that before....So I guess the answer is, no, I've never realized it sounded like that...Beauregard said:
theprawncracker
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Chapter 11
"Whoa! Cliffy, how much hair gel did you use this morning?" Skeeter giggled.
"Very funny Skeet," Clifford tried to push back his new, shock induced afro.
Uncle Deadly chuckled. "Well then, if we could move this along, Clifford, I need a single hair off the head of your little girlfriend there."
Clifford’s mouth fell open. "You think that after this," Clifford pointed to the ball of purple hair on top of his head. "I’m gonna do anything you say?"
Skeeter wrapped her arm in with Clifford’s. "Oh, but Cliffy, would you do it for little old me?"
Clifford rolled his eyes. "That ain’t gonna work this time Skeet."
Skeeter put on a pouty frown. "Are you sure?"
Clifford pulled his shades out of his pocket and slipped them on his snout. "Positive. I’m keepin’ cool."
"Well fine!" Skeeter pulled away. "See how you like spending this ‘alone’ time with a creepy blue dead guy!"
Clifford and Deadly both looked at each other. "Skeeter! Come back!" they both called after the girl.
Scooter’s breath was choppy. He got down on his hands and knees and crawled toward his collapsed uncle.
"Uncle J.P., no," Scooter whispered. He turned his uncle on his back and checked for a pulse. "There’s...There’s no pulse..." he said, just under a whisper.
Scooter fell back and cried, his uncle had no pulse. His uncle had no pulse.
He couldn’t take it anymore. The go-fer got himself up off the floor. He pulled J.P.’s motionless, pulse-less body and propped him up against the wall.
Scooter darted out the door that Benny either forgot or decided not to lock.
He ran down the hallway, listening for Benny’s footsteps. He followed the sound until his feet led him to a cracked door. Scooter put his ear up against the door and listened.
"Mad Monty?" a raspy voice called out.
"Present and accounted for. When do we eat?" another voice called back.
"Black Dog?" the same raspy voice asked.
"You better believe it," a different voice said back.
"Angel Marie?"
"Yes?"
"I was just calling your name."
"Who’s that?"
There was a pause before the main voice continued.
"Old Tom?"
"Aye aye!"
"Real Old Tom?"
"Actually, he’s now Dead Tom."
"Then who’s the old Dead Tom?"
"Why, Old Dead Tom of course!"
"Of course..."
"Well that’s everyone."
"But Polly," a new voice addressed the main voice. "You never called my name!"
"Well that’s because I already know you’re here you twit!"
"But I like it when you call my name..."
"What?"
"It makes me feel special."
"Clueless, shut up."
"Thank you."
Scooter backed away from the door slowly. Now he was dealing with pirates. This could get interesting.
"Okay you geniuses," Polly’s voice said. "Head ‘em up, move ‘em out! Benny wants us outta here five minutes ago!"
"How can we do that?"
"It’s an expression dumby!"
"An expression of love?"
"Will you knock it off?!"
"Oh why sure," the dumber voice said. Before Scooter knew what was happening, the door was knocked down at his feet.
Scooter’s eyes met that of twelve grungy pirates. "Hey, hey Polly," a goat asked a lobster. "Who’s that?"
"That’s Scooter!" Polly whispered.
"Oh...But why do we need a scooter when we have these motorcycles?"
"That’s his name, stupid!"
"I thought his name was Scooter," one of the other pirates said.
"It is!" Polly shouted.
"But you just said it was Stupid!" another shouted.
"Um, Polly," Clueless tapped the lobster on the shoulder.
"Not now Clueless," Polly said.
"But Polly-"
"Clueless! Not now!"
"Okay, I was just gonna tell you that your scooter is rolling away."
"I don’t have a-" Polly stopped. He looked out the door and watched as Scooter darted down the hall. "After him you dolts!"
Polly, Clueless, and the ten other pirates chased after the go-fer down the halls.
Scooter ran, he was out of breath by now, but kept running. He had to find help, somewhere, somehow.
Scooter saw a fork in the halls ahead of him, he darted around the right corner and collided with Benny Vandergast.
"Oh, what’s this?" Benny picked the go-fer up by the collar of his jacket. "A break-out?"
Polly and the other pirates finally caught up with Scooter and Benny. "Oh good," Clueless said. "Look Polly, the creepy zombie guy got him!"
"Shut up shut up shut up!" Polly smacked Clueless with his claw.
Benny rolled his eyes. Scooter took a deep breath and decided to let his brave side show. "What have you done to my uncle?"
"Injected him with truth serum my dear...What are you anyway?" Benny asked.
"He’s the man with the band!" Mad Monty replied.
"I thought he was a go-fer," Angel Marie said.
"He kinda looks like a parrot to me," Wall-Eyed Pike said.
Polly shrugged. "A little bit, but not much."
"Will you morons get on those motorcycles and out of my sight?!" Benny shouted.
Polly jumped to attention. "Right! Right! C’mon guys, we’re outta here!"
All twelve pirates walked back the way they came, leaving Benny and Scooter to their silences.
"What...What’s wrong with my uncle? Why doesn’t he have a pulse?" Scooter asked.
"It’s simple really," Benny began walking back towards J.P.’s containment closet. "The serum makes his pulse so faint that it’s barely recognizable. But don’t worry kid, your uncle’s still alive, it’s just not apparent."
"But...But why? ...How?"
"Very carefully," Benny replied before tossing Scooter back into the closet and locking the door.
Gonzo shook his head. "Well the world’s largest is in Bethesda, Maryland. So if we do go see it, it’ll be awhile before we get to it."
"How do you know that?" Rizzo asked with is arms at his side.
"You don’t know the power of the weird side," Gonzo replied.
"Bagawk!" Camilla squawked, sending white feathers everywhere.
"I know the power of the front side of Piggy’s fist," Clyde said.
"Watch it Clyde or you’ll feel the power of her left hook," Butch told his cohort.
"Uncle Kermit," Robin asked his uncle. "Do you think we’ll ever get to where we’re going?"
"I certainly hope so Robin," Kermit said. "But at the speed and rate we’re going we may have already passed it."
"Well I don’t care about all dat," Rizzo said. "I just want some food! C’mon! I’m starvin’!"
Kermit felt his own stomach as well. "I’m kinda hungry too..." Kermit said. "Fozzie?" Kermit called up to his best friend.
"Yeah Kermit?" Fozzie turned around from his seat.
"Tell your mom we’re hungry and we want to stop and eat."
"Okay! Hey Ma?" Fozzie repeated Kermit’s message to his mother.
"What’s that? You’re gettin’ tired of your seats?" she asked. "I can fix that!" She made a series of hard turns causing ever Muppet to switch seats with each other.
"...Well," Kermit said. "That certainly made me lose my apetite..."
"Whoa! Cliffy, how much hair gel did you use this morning?" Skeeter giggled.
"Very funny Skeet," Clifford tried to push back his new, shock induced afro.
Uncle Deadly chuckled. "Well then, if we could move this along, Clifford, I need a single hair off the head of your little girlfriend there."
Clifford’s mouth fell open. "You think that after this," Clifford pointed to the ball of purple hair on top of his head. "I’m gonna do anything you say?"
Skeeter wrapped her arm in with Clifford’s. "Oh, but Cliffy, would you do it for little old me?"
Clifford rolled his eyes. "That ain’t gonna work this time Skeet."
Skeeter put on a pouty frown. "Are you sure?"
Clifford pulled his shades out of his pocket and slipped them on his snout. "Positive. I’m keepin’ cool."
"Well fine!" Skeeter pulled away. "See how you like spending this ‘alone’ time with a creepy blue dead guy!"
Clifford and Deadly both looked at each other. "Skeeter! Come back!" they both called after the girl.
<X>X<X>
Benny threw J.P. into the dark closet where Scooter still sat huddled in a corner. Benny cackled and slammed the closet door.
Scooter’s breath was choppy. He got down on his hands and knees and crawled toward his collapsed uncle.
"Uncle J.P., no," Scooter whispered. He turned his uncle on his back and checked for a pulse. "There’s...There’s no pulse..." he said, just under a whisper.
Scooter fell back and cried, his uncle had no pulse. His uncle had no pulse.
He couldn’t take it anymore. The go-fer got himself up off the floor. He pulled J.P.’s motionless, pulse-less body and propped him up against the wall.
Scooter darted out the door that Benny either forgot or decided not to lock.
He ran down the hallway, listening for Benny’s footsteps. He followed the sound until his feet led him to a cracked door. Scooter put his ear up against the door and listened.
"Mad Monty?" a raspy voice called out.
"Present and accounted for. When do we eat?" another voice called back.
"Black Dog?" the same raspy voice asked.
"You better believe it," a different voice said back.
"Angel Marie?"
"Yes?"
"I was just calling your name."
"Who’s that?"
There was a pause before the main voice continued.
"Old Tom?"
"Aye aye!"
"Real Old Tom?"
"Actually, he’s now Dead Tom."
"Then who’s the old Dead Tom?"
"Why, Old Dead Tom of course!"
"Of course..."
"Well that’s everyone."
"But Polly," a new voice addressed the main voice. "You never called my name!"
"Well that’s because I already know you’re here you twit!"
"But I like it when you call my name..."
"What?"
"It makes me feel special."
"Clueless, shut up."
"Thank you."
Scooter backed away from the door slowly. Now he was dealing with pirates. This could get interesting.
"Okay you geniuses," Polly’s voice said. "Head ‘em up, move ‘em out! Benny wants us outta here five minutes ago!"
"How can we do that?"
"It’s an expression dumby!"
"An expression of love?"
"Will you knock it off?!"
"Oh why sure," the dumber voice said. Before Scooter knew what was happening, the door was knocked down at his feet.
Scooter’s eyes met that of twelve grungy pirates. "Hey, hey Polly," a goat asked a lobster. "Who’s that?"
"That’s Scooter!" Polly whispered.
"Oh...But why do we need a scooter when we have these motorcycles?"
"That’s his name, stupid!"
"I thought his name was Scooter," one of the other pirates said.
"It is!" Polly shouted.
"But you just said it was Stupid!" another shouted.
"Um, Polly," Clueless tapped the lobster on the shoulder.
"Not now Clueless," Polly said.
"But Polly-"
"Clueless! Not now!"
"Okay, I was just gonna tell you that your scooter is rolling away."
"I don’t have a-" Polly stopped. He looked out the door and watched as Scooter darted down the hall. "After him you dolts!"
Polly, Clueless, and the ten other pirates chased after the go-fer down the halls.
Scooter ran, he was out of breath by now, but kept running. He had to find help, somewhere, somehow.
Scooter saw a fork in the halls ahead of him, he darted around the right corner and collided with Benny Vandergast.
"Oh, what’s this?" Benny picked the go-fer up by the collar of his jacket. "A break-out?"
Polly and the other pirates finally caught up with Scooter and Benny. "Oh good," Clueless said. "Look Polly, the creepy zombie guy got him!"
"Shut up shut up shut up!" Polly smacked Clueless with his claw.
Benny rolled his eyes. Scooter took a deep breath and decided to let his brave side show. "What have you done to my uncle?"
"Injected him with truth serum my dear...What are you anyway?" Benny asked.
"He’s the man with the band!" Mad Monty replied.
"I thought he was a go-fer," Angel Marie said.
"He kinda looks like a parrot to me," Wall-Eyed Pike said.
Polly shrugged. "A little bit, but not much."
"Will you morons get on those motorcycles and out of my sight?!" Benny shouted.
Polly jumped to attention. "Right! Right! C’mon guys, we’re outta here!"
All twelve pirates walked back the way they came, leaving Benny and Scooter to their silences.
"What...What’s wrong with my uncle? Why doesn’t he have a pulse?" Scooter asked.
"It’s simple really," Benny began walking back towards J.P.’s containment closet. "The serum makes his pulse so faint that it’s barely recognizable. But don’t worry kid, your uncle’s still alive, it’s just not apparent."
"But...But why? ...How?"
"Very carefully," Benny replied before tossing Scooter back into the closet and locking the door.
>X<X>X<
"Do jou t’ink we’ll get to see de world’s largest rubber band ball?" Pepe asked. "I hear it’s bigger d’en the world’s second largest rubber band ball, hokay?"
Gonzo shook his head. "Well the world’s largest is in Bethesda, Maryland. So if we do go see it, it’ll be awhile before we get to it."
"How do you know that?" Rizzo asked with is arms at his side.
"You don’t know the power of the weird side," Gonzo replied.
"Bagawk!" Camilla squawked, sending white feathers everywhere.
"I know the power of the front side of Piggy’s fist," Clyde said.
"Watch it Clyde or you’ll feel the power of her left hook," Butch told his cohort.
"Uncle Kermit," Robin asked his uncle. "Do you think we’ll ever get to where we’re going?"
"I certainly hope so Robin," Kermit said. "But at the speed and rate we’re going we may have already passed it."
"Well I don’t care about all dat," Rizzo said. "I just want some food! C’mon! I’m starvin’!"
Kermit felt his own stomach as well. "I’m kinda hungry too..." Kermit said. "Fozzie?" Kermit called up to his best friend.
"Yeah Kermit?" Fozzie turned around from his seat.
"Tell your mom we’re hungry and we want to stop and eat."
"Okay! Hey Ma?" Fozzie repeated Kermit’s message to his mother.
"What’s that? You’re gettin’ tired of your seats?" she asked. "I can fix that!" She made a series of hard turns causing ever Muppet to switch seats with each other.
"...Well," Kermit said. "That certainly made me lose my apetite..."
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Ya-hoo! And da Prawn increases his lead back up to three chapters over the other half.
Funny bit with everybody switching seats on the bus, and Kermit's reply...
Spooky stuff with Scooter and Benny... And the MTI pirates, nice to see them together again.
But Uncle Deadly and Clifford... Get Skeeter back here! You need her to help the rest of the gang get the theater back!
Funny bit with everybody switching seats on the bus, and Kermit's reply...
Spooky stuff with Scooter and Benny... And the MTI pirates, nice to see them together again.
But Uncle Deadly and Clifford... Get Skeeter back here! You need her to help the rest of the gang get the theater back!
redBoobergurl
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Another good installment! I'd love to say more, but I have these piles of things around me at work and if I don't get to them soon, I'll be in more trouble than the Muppets are right now in your story!
Beauregard
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Oh! I like it I like it I like it it I like!
Ok, enough of the silly stuff, I adored Skeeter, and the purple afro, and old Dead Tom, and Dead Tom, and Mad Monty, etc. Nice choices. Loved Clueless in this chapter.
Ok, enough of the silly stuff, I adored Skeeter, and the purple afro, and old Dead Tom, and Dead Tom, and Mad Monty, etc. Nice choices. Loved Clueless in this chapter.