Muppet College Dorms: The Next Semester

[Beakerfan]

Bean: *has set a table by himself, serving tea* What a wonderful un-birthday party, don't you think? *checks in teapot* Say, has anyone seen the Doormouse?
Elmo: *joins Bean for tea*
Sweetums: *walks in, carrying Alex in one hand, stands in the doorway and beats his chest with one hand*
Alex: *dressed as Princess Leia* Help! Help! Save me from the beast!
Elmo: *jumps up, sword in hand*
Sweetums: *gives Alex a strange look*
Alex: I'm just kiddin ya. Now would you put me down?

 

[BeakerSqueedom]

Beaker:
(Sees Alex and smiles goofily)
Mee mee mee.
(Leaves Beth so he can try his stuff with Alex)

Claudia:
The Madhatter!
Oh dear...
I forgot...
I am the dude who ties people to railroads.

Ah well, this will give Beaker some heroing to do.

Oh Alex, sweetie!
Would you like some eye-filled punch?
(Carries the rope with her)

Bunsen:
You must not go through with it!
I won't allow you to hurt another poor soul!

Claudia:
Hush it you Bi-polar thing!

Bunsen:
(Gasp)

Beaker:
MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
(Tackles her to the ground and accidently rips off her fake mustache)

Claudia:
(Gasps loudly)
BEAKER!
(Takes it back)
It's ok baby...mommy...I mean...daddys here...

Bunsen:
(Looks puzzled)

Claudia:
I LIKE the mustache ok?
(Attempts to tie Alex up)

 

[The Count]

*Creepy music issues forth from the organ under the nimble nosferatu's Transylvanian touch.
Me, nibbling at the plot with tombstone marked RH... Ah... *Soothingly sulkily: I feel a song coming on...
Now how does that one he liked go...

*Singing in deep Vincent Price voice:
When you're down and troubled.
And you need some love and care.
And nothing, nothing is going right.

Close your eyes and think of me.
And soon I will be there.
To brighten up, even your darkest night.

UD: You just call out his name.
And you know wherever you are...
He'll come running...
To see you again.

Me: Winter, spring, summer or fall.
All you have to do is call.
And I'll be there!
Ud: Yes he will...
Both: You've got a friend.

 

[BeakerSqueedom]

Bunsen:
(Dries his eyes with Claudia's cape)
That was beautiful.

Claudia:
(Makes a knot)
Very pretty singing.
(Smiles gaily and snickers)
The wheels on the train go round and round...
round and round....

 

[The Count]

*Following Claudia's train of thought...
All over the Alex?

*Shrugs as a sort of "eh, whatever" motion. Play nice you two.
*Goes to see if the goulash is ready for serving. Mmm, not yet, maybe we need to gather some more ingredients to bring this broth to a boil.

 

[BeakerSqueedom]

Claudia:
Hey, I'mma do some stuff at the room.
Enjoy the party.

Bunsen:
Already?

Claudia:
Yeah.

Dr. Van Neuter:
(Does the waltz with Composta)
Ok! Send me a postcard!

Claudia:
(Raises eyebrow)
Sure thing, Doc.

Beaker:
Mee mee.
(Tags along with Claudia)

---

Asphodel:
Drink?

Bunsen:
No thank you.
(Puts on a contemplative expression)

 

[Beakerfan]

Alex: *still tied to the railroad tracks* Uh, guys.... could you let me up?
Sweetums: *charges through the room and tears Alex from the tracks* ROOOAAR! *beats his chest with his free hand*
Alex: Thanks Sweetums.... I mean, Kong....
Bean: *pouring everyone two cups of tea*

 

[The Count]

*Takes cup of tea graciously poured by the March Bean.
*Spies Alex being freed by Kongums.
Bad show old man... Well, that'll give Claudia another chance to hold you hostage I suppose

 

[Beakerfan]

Alex: *sits on a chair in a very mermaid-like way*
Bean: *hands her a cup of tea* Do you like two lumps or one?
Alex: Don't even think about it, buster!
Bean: *sets down the mallet that was behind his back*

 

[The Count]

Ooh... Mermaids... Pretty...
*Daydreams, while walking off and disappearing into the shadows only to return with the burgers, sausages, garlic bread, and goulash stew to restock the booffé table.