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Sam and Friends BookI know I obviously suck at these, but I think this is probably the lamest one yet
*Fade into Allistair Cookie's library*
ALLISTAIR COOKIE: Hello there, and good eve-a-ning, me Allistair Cookie, and me welcome you to Monsterpiece Theater; tonight, me bring to your entertainment pleasure that really watery tale of friendship - "Splash"...
*Cookie is suddenly doused with water*
ALLISTAIR COOKIE: That wasn't your cue! And now, sit back and enjoy "Splash"!
*Cookie is doused again*
ALLISTAIR COOKIE: Stop that!
*Fade into a large pond; on the bank of the pond, Kermit is dangling his feet in the water*
KERMIT: Ah, there's nothing like a frog in his natural habitat... unless he was in the swamp...
*At that moment, a couple of AM frogs (green and blue) hop over to where Kermit is sitting*
BLUE FROG: Hey Kermit, you said we could come swimming with you today!
KERMIT: Of course I did, and I'm glad you guys are here, this pond is excellent for swimming; really helps build up the old frog muscles!
GREEN FROG: Cannonball!
*The green AM frog jumps into the pond, followed by the blue; Kermit then jumps in after them, before a couple of ducks (the mallard and the white) swim over*
MALLARD DUCK: Hey, what do you frogs think you're doing?
BLUE FROG: We're swimming, what does it look like we're doing?
MALLARD DUCK: It looks like you're trespassing!
WHITE DUCK: Yeah, who said you could just jump into our pond?
FROGS: YOUR pond?
DUCKS: Yeah, OUR pond!
KERMIT: Hey, now wait a second you guys, nobody said this was your pond...
MALLARD DUCK: We just did!
GREEN FROG: Well, who are you?
KERMIT: Now, now, let's not cause a scene here... uh, look, we just came down here to have a swim; we've swam in this pond before, lots of people come down to this pond...
WHITE DUCK: Well maybe, that needs to change!
MALLARD DUCK: Yeah, we decided we want this pond all to ourselves!
KERMIT: Well, that's a very selfish attitude.
WHITE DUCK: What kind of attitude?
KERMIT: Selfish.
MALLARD DUCK: What's selfish?
KERMIT: Well, keeping something all to yourself, and not sharing with others... in this case, you two keeping this pond all to yourselves and not sharing it with us... or that goose over there...
*Kermit points out a goose, who enjoys a swim himself, slowly he swims past the group*
MALLARD DUCK: Hey! Who said you could swim in our pond?
GOOSE: I beg your pardon? I swim in this pond everyday, who are you to tell me I can't swim here?
KERMIT: This isn't just your pond you know... this pond belongs to everybody...
*The ducks look around, suddenly, they see such things as fish swimming around underneath the surface, other AMs fishing, various monsters jumping in for a swim, and even a pelican swooping down, and catching a fish itself*
KERMIT: Lots of different people, monsters, fishes, frogs, and yes even ducks come to this pond everyday, you can't just come in and try to take it all for yourselves.
*The ducks exchange looks with each other*
WHITE DUCK: No... I guess we can't...
MALLARD DUCK: We were just wanting our own, little "cool, secret place"... we didn't stop to realize that a lot of others come to this pond as well...
KERMIT: I understand, and I'm sure it would be "cool" to have your own "secret place", but wouldn't sharing a place with friends be a lot cooler?
MALLARD DUCK: Yeah, I guess it would...
WHITE DUCK: Would you guys be our friends?
KERMIT: Well sure, what do you guys say?
FROGS: Yeah, sure!
KERMIT: You guys know how to play Marco Polo?
DUCKS: Marco Polo?
MALLARD DUCK: We LOVE Marco Polo!
KERMIT: Well then, I say let's play Marco Polo!
*The frogs and the ducks cheer, as they all swim off in different directions*
KERMIT: I guess that means I'm it... Marco!...
OTHERS: Polo!
*Fade into Allistair Cookie's library, Cookie is now wearing a wetsuit, and googles, while holding up an open umbrella*
ALLISTAIR COOKIE: And so end that watery tale, "Splash"...
*Nothing happens*
ALLISTAIR COOKIE: "Splash"...
*Still nothing happens, so Cookie takes off his goggles, and lowers his umbrella*
ALLISTAIR COOKIE: Haha, me hope you enjoyed tonight's performance; this Allistair Cookie saying goodnight from Monsterpiece...
*Cookie gets doused again*
ALLISTAIR COOKIE: ... Theater... WHO DID THAT?
*Cookie gets doused again*
ALLISTAIR COOKIE: This no funny no more!
*Fade into Allistair Cookie's library*
ALLISTAIR COOKIE: Hello there, and good eve-a-ning, me Allistair Cookie, and me welcome you to Monsterpiece Theater; tonight, me bring to your entertainment pleasure that really watery tale of friendship - "Splash"...
*Cookie is suddenly doused with water*
ALLISTAIR COOKIE: That wasn't your cue! And now, sit back and enjoy "Splash"!
*Cookie is doused again*
ALLISTAIR COOKIE: Stop that!
*Fade into a large pond; on the bank of the pond, Kermit is dangling his feet in the water*
KERMIT: Ah, there's nothing like a frog in his natural habitat... unless he was in the swamp...
*At that moment, a couple of AM frogs (green and blue) hop over to where Kermit is sitting*
BLUE FROG: Hey Kermit, you said we could come swimming with you today!
KERMIT: Of course I did, and I'm glad you guys are here, this pond is excellent for swimming; really helps build up the old frog muscles!
GREEN FROG: Cannonball!
*The green AM frog jumps into the pond, followed by the blue; Kermit then jumps in after them, before a couple of ducks (the mallard and the white) swim over*
MALLARD DUCK: Hey, what do you frogs think you're doing?
BLUE FROG: We're swimming, what does it look like we're doing?
MALLARD DUCK: It looks like you're trespassing!
WHITE DUCK: Yeah, who said you could just jump into our pond?
FROGS: YOUR pond?
DUCKS: Yeah, OUR pond!
KERMIT: Hey, now wait a second you guys, nobody said this was your pond...
MALLARD DUCK: We just did!
GREEN FROG: Well, who are you?
KERMIT: Now, now, let's not cause a scene here... uh, look, we just came down here to have a swim; we've swam in this pond before, lots of people come down to this pond...
WHITE DUCK: Well maybe, that needs to change!
MALLARD DUCK: Yeah, we decided we want this pond all to ourselves!
KERMIT: Well, that's a very selfish attitude.
WHITE DUCK: What kind of attitude?
KERMIT: Selfish.
MALLARD DUCK: What's selfish?
KERMIT: Well, keeping something all to yourself, and not sharing with others... in this case, you two keeping this pond all to yourselves and not sharing it with us... or that goose over there...
*Kermit points out a goose, who enjoys a swim himself, slowly he swims past the group*
MALLARD DUCK: Hey! Who said you could swim in our pond?
GOOSE: I beg your pardon? I swim in this pond everyday, who are you to tell me I can't swim here?
KERMIT: This isn't just your pond you know... this pond belongs to everybody...
*The ducks look around, suddenly, they see such things as fish swimming around underneath the surface, other AMs fishing, various monsters jumping in for a swim, and even a pelican swooping down, and catching a fish itself*
KERMIT: Lots of different people, monsters, fishes, frogs, and yes even ducks come to this pond everyday, you can't just come in and try to take it all for yourselves.
*The ducks exchange looks with each other*
WHITE DUCK: No... I guess we can't...
MALLARD DUCK: We were just wanting our own, little "cool, secret place"... we didn't stop to realize that a lot of others come to this pond as well...
KERMIT: I understand, and I'm sure it would be "cool" to have your own "secret place", but wouldn't sharing a place with friends be a lot cooler?
MALLARD DUCK: Yeah, I guess it would...
WHITE DUCK: Would you guys be our friends?
KERMIT: Well sure, what do you guys say?
FROGS: Yeah, sure!
KERMIT: You guys know how to play Marco Polo?
DUCKS: Marco Polo?
MALLARD DUCK: We LOVE Marco Polo!
KERMIT: Well then, I say let's play Marco Polo!
*The frogs and the ducks cheer, as they all swim off in different directions*
KERMIT: I guess that means I'm it... Marco!...
OTHERS: Polo!
*Fade into Allistair Cookie's library, Cookie is now wearing a wetsuit, and googles, while holding up an open umbrella*
ALLISTAIR COOKIE: And so end that watery tale, "Splash"...
*Nothing happens*
ALLISTAIR COOKIE: "Splash"...
*Still nothing happens, so Cookie takes off his goggles, and lowers his umbrella*
ALLISTAIR COOKIE: Haha, me hope you enjoyed tonight's performance; this Allistair Cookie saying goodnight from Monsterpiece...
*Cookie gets doused again*
ALLISTAIR COOKIE: ... Theater... WHO DID THAT?
*Cookie gets doused again*
ALLISTAIR COOKIE: This no funny no more!
