MissMusical12's Muppet Show Outlines

[MissMusical12]

Are you gonna do my request yet?

Huh? Which request?

 

[Muppetfity888]

Season five request with Charles Durning? He play Doc Hopper in the first Muppet Movie. He died on 12/24/2012. That request.

 

[Piggy The Frog]

Interesting that you should do an outline with Peggy Lee, since Miss Piggy Lee is named after her! I just knew something would happen to Kermit's banjo once he left it with Piggy...

 

[MissMusical12]

And now, a brand new outline for all of you! Enjoy!!!!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
GUEST STAR: Barbra Streisand
STYLE: Mid Season 5 (Between Melissa Manchester and Gladys Knight)

COLD OPENING:
Pops is reading an instruction manual for a hair tonic, placed next to him, when Barbra enters.

Pops: Who are you?

Barbra: I'm Barbra Streisand. I'm the guest star tonight on The Muppet Show.

Pops: Barbra Streisand? World renowned singer and actress Barbra Streisand?

Barbra: That's right.

Pops: Star of them movies like "Funny Girl," "Hello, Dolly," and "On A Clear Day You Can See Forever?"

Barbra: That's right.

Pops: I just have one question for you.

Barbra: What's that?

Pops:..........Who are you, again?

THEME SONG
TRUMPET GAG: Gonzo is pulled off by a cane, before he is able to blow his trumpet

INTRODUCTION:

Kermit: Thank you, thank you. Hi ho and welcome again to The Muppet Show, the only show on television whose cast has not been hit by killer plagues and car crashes!

A Germ Like Thing passes by in a car, in which Kermit quickly gets out of the way.

Kermit: Of course, sometimes that we are wrong. Anyways, our guest star tonight is that talented triple threat Miss Barbra Streisand!

Audience: Oooooooooh!

Kermit: Yes! But first..........

Scooter: -rushing on- Hey, Kermit. We have a slight problem.

Kermit: Already?

Scooter: Yeah. There's a mariachi band on stage. I'm guessing they wanted to do La Bamba on the show tonight.

Kermit: But I already promised The Electric Mayhem to do it.

Animal: -rushes by, chasing mariachi band member- OUR NUMBER! OUR NUMBER!

Scooter: Should we cancel the number?

Kermit: No, we're not cancelling the number. At this rate we might as well......improvise. Now, Scooter, you go off while I introduce the number.

Scooter: Yes, sir! -goes off-

Kermit: Ahem. Ladies and gentlemen.......La Bamba.

MUSICAL NUMBER: La Bamba, performed by The Electric Mayhem (Dr. Teeth on lead vocals) and a mariachi band (With a Lead Mariachi Band Singer on vocals) as they fight against each other, a la a Battle of The Bands.

BALCONY:

Statler: How could I know which band was better?

Waldorf: How so?

Statler: I didn't know what they were saying half of the time. I'm not Spanish.

Waldorf: Neither is the first band.

Both: Dohohohoho!

BACKSTAGE:

The Electric Mayhem and the Mariachi Band are arguing with each other as they go off the stage. Animal then chases one of the mariachi band members.

Animal: OUR NUMBER! OUR NUMBER!

Kermit: -interrupting- Can you guys solve this situation some place else!?!??! Out out out!

The Mayhem and the Mariachi Band go off.

Miss Piggy: -comes off- Good, I thought they'd never leave. Kermie, I have something to ask you.

Kermit: Yes, Piggy?

Miss Piggy: Barbra Streisand!!?!??!

Kermit: What about her?

Miss Piggy: Why would you put HER, of all people, on our show!??!?

Kermit: Well, she was available and......

Miss Piggy: Ugh! She'll ruin everything tonight! Kermie, she's a stage hog!

Kermit: -muttering to himself- And you're not?

Miss Piggy: What was that!?!?!

Kermit: Nothing, nothing.

Miss Piggy: WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY!?!?!

Kermit: I didn't say any.............

Miss Piggy: HIIIIIIYA! -karate chops Kermit really hard and then goes off-

Barbra: -enters from dressing room- Kermit. Kermit, are you okay?

Scooter: Oh, he's fine, Miss Streisand. He's just......taking a little nap.

Barbra: Doesn't look very pleasant.

Scooter: Don't worry. This happens all the time on here. I'll introduce the number. Don't worry. You go onstage and get ready for your number.

Barbra: Thank you, Scooter. -goes onstage-

Scooter: -tries to wake Kermit up- Kermit! Kermit! -nothing- Uh oh............-goes onstage-

INTRODUCTION:

Scooter: Ummm, ladies and gentlemen, due to an unexpected event, I will, hopefully not be and let's hope Kermit wakes up soon, be your host for the remainder of the evening. So now, without further ado, here she is! The lovely and talented Miss Barbra Streisand!

MUSICAL NUMBER: You Don't Bring Me Flowers, sung by Barbra and Rowlf, on piano.

BALCONY:

Statler: I wonder why he doesn't bring her flowers.

Waldorf: He's a dog. He brings her bones. And plus, he's "MAN'S" best friend.

Both: Dohohoho!

BACKSTAGE:

Scooter, Fozzie, Gonzo and Floyd are still trying to wake up the knocked out Kermit.

Fozzie: Kermit! Please don't go! I'm your best friend!

Floyd: He's only knocked out, he's not dead. I don't think.....

Gonzo: Hey guys, look on the bright side. If he is dead, he'll be the first frog buried at that new cemetery.

Scooter: Gonzo, that's not helping.

All four: -sigh-

Scooter: Well, I've tried everything. Sugar, kicking......and air horns. Let's face it, guys.....our old buddy Kermit is.......dead.

Fozzie: NOOOOOOOOOOOO! It can't end! It just can't!

Floyd: Well, now what do we do?

Silence, and then the four guys burst out singing a part of "Sunrise, Sunset." Miss Piggy then comes out of her dressing room and stares at the four guys.

Miss Piggy: Weirdos. -goes onstage-

PIGS IN SPACE: Space Zombies invade the Swinetrek, but Captain Link Hogthob has a fear of zombies.

UK SKETCH: MUSICAL NUMBER: When I Grow Up (To Be A Man), sung by Wayne, but is soon attacked by a group of monsters.

BACKSTAGE:

A group of Muppets (including Fozzie, Scooter, Floyd and Gonzo) , all wearing something black have gathered around Kermit's body for "Kermit's Funeral."

Fozzie: -reading sheet of paper- Here lies Kermit the Frog, a great friend, a great lover, and most importantly, the greatest leader of our crew.....ever.

Scooter: And let's not forget a great host.

Fozzie: Yeah! A great host! Sorry about that.

Barbra: -coming out of dressing room- What's going on around here? It's so dead around here, it looks like you guys are having a funeral.

Fozzie: We are having a funeral, Miss Streisand. For Kermit. He's dead.

Barbra: Oh...I'm...I'm so sorry to hear, Fozzie. This must be hard for all of you.

All Muppets: -nodding- Yeah.

Barbra: I mean, you guys have each other. And throughout all of this, you guys must stay strong. And stick together, no matter what happens. I'm sure Kermit is looking down at us right now and believing in us. Believing that we must stay strong throughout this ordeal.

MUSICAL NUMBER: People, sung by Barbra.


NEWS FLASH:

Newsman: Here is a Muppet News Flash! Kermit the Frog is dead. He died of an unknown cause just about 15 minutes ago inside the Muppet Theater.

All of a sudden, he breaks down crying.

Newsman: We miss you, Kermit!!!!!

BACKSTAGE:

Scooter: So...now what are we going to do without Kermit around?

Fozzie: Yeah, what about the show? What's going to happen to the show without Kermit?

All of a sudden, Kermit comes in out of nowhere.

Kermit: Were you guys calling for me?

Fozzie: -turns around and sees Kermit- AAAAAAAHHHHHHH! IT'S A ZOMBIE KERMIT!

Scooter: Fozzie, it's not a zombie! It's Kermit! It really is Kermit! The real true Kermit!

Fozzie: Ohhh! I knew that.

Other Muppets come out and hug Kermit, excited to see that he is alive.

Kermit: Guys, I never died. Why did you guys think I died?

Fozzie: Well when Miss Piggy karate chopped you, you were unconsious.

Kermit: Oh, that wasn't me.

All the Other Muppets: HUH!?!?

Kermit: Well, you see, Dr. Bunsen Honeydew wanted to test me out for a clone machine invention he had........

Dr. Bunsen Honeydew: And it worked perfectly! Ha ha!

Scooter: So that really wasn't you?

Kermit: Nope. Just my clone.

Gonzo: Awwww....and I really wanted to check out that new cemetery.

Kermit: What cemetery?

Gonzo: The one we were gonna bury you in. -gives Kermit brochure-

Kermit: You guys set up a cemetery for me!?!?!

Gonzo: Surprise.

Kermit: Ughhhhh.......good grief. -goes onstage-

INTRODUCTION:

Kermit: Ladies and gentlemen, may I briefly say that I am NOT dead. Whoever told you I was dead has obviously been lying to you. But, to close tonight's show, here once again is the ever so talented and lovely, Miss Barbra Streisand! YAAAAAAAAAY!!

MUSICAL NUMBER: I'm The Greatest Star/Don't Rain On My Parade, sung by Barbra, but Miss Piggy keeps budding into her number. In the end, the two sing Don't Rain On My Parade together.

GOODNIGHTS:

Kermit: Well, folks, it looks like another evening has come to an closure. But before we go, let us say thank you to our terrifically talented guest star, ladies and gentlemen, Miss Barbra Streisand! YAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!

Barbra: Thank you so much, Kermit. And may I say, I am really glad you're not dead.

Kermit: Ummmm, thanks, Barbra.

Gonzo: -comes onstage- Here! You want a brochure for a cemetery?

Barbra: No thanks, Gonzo. We're pretty alive and well right now.

Kermit: Gonzo!

Gonzo: Well I have to get rid of this brochure somehow!

Kermit: Uhhh.....we'll see you next time on The Muppet Show!

(Goodnights: Kermit, Gonzo, Miss Piggy, Scooter, Fozzie, Floyd and a few of the mariachi band members from the opening number)

CLOSING THEME

BALCONY:
Waldorf: You know the only thing good about if we die?

Statler: What's that?

Waldorf: We won't ever get to watch this show again!

Both: Dohohohoho!

END
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This one was pretty interesting to do. And I always wanted to do an outline with the wonderful Barbra Streisand! Anyways, more outlines to come very soon!

 

[Daffyfan4ever]

Me too! The only one I see is "Little Shop of Horrors." It's scary, but thank goodness it isn't a slasher film thank goodness.

Good one. I don't have a lot of time to read all of your outlines now, but the first one was really good. I'll have to look through the rest of them when I get a chance.

 

[MissMusical12]

GUEST STAR: Aretha Franklin
STYLE: Early/Mid Season 4 (Between Beverly Sills and Anne Murray)

COLD OPENING:
Scooter: Aretha Franklin! Aretha Franklin! 15 seconds till curtain, Miss Franklin!

Aretha: Thank you, Scooter. I'll be ready as soon as Swedish Chef here finishes tossing my salad.

Swedish Chef: -tossing bowl of salad into air- Bernda gurden hurver veeeee!

The bowl of salad accidentally lands on Aretha.

Aretha: Didn't say his accuracy was good.

THEME SONG
TRUMPET GAG: Gonzo gets trampled by a herd of cows before he can play his trumpet. One of the cows then plays the trumpet for him.

INTRODUCTION:

Kermit: Thank you, thank you! Hi ho and welcome again to The Muppet Show! And tonight, is a very special night on the show for two things. Number one, our guest star tonight is that Queen of Soul and Gospel herself, Miss Aretha Franklin! And number two.....well....how do I explain this.....today is our beloved Miss Piggy's birthday.

Miss Piggy: -rushes on- Oh, Kermie! I knew you wouldn't forget! -hugs Kermit-

Kermit: Oh, you know I'd never forget your birthday.

Miss Piggy: Oooooh, Kermie! There's just a few things moi would require for tonight.

Kermit: What's that?

Miss Piggy: First, an opening number...for moi!

MUSICAL NUMBER: Hello, Dolly (Piggy), sung by Kermit, Miss Piggy and a group of male pigs.

BALCONY:

Statler: So today is the pig's birthday?

Waldorf: Huh, she doesn't look a day over 365.

Statler: What do you mean?

Waldorf: She gets older with each day of stress!

Both: Dohohohoho!

BACKSTAGE:

Various Muppets (including Kermit) gather around Miss Piggy as they sing "Happy Birthday" to her. Miss Piggy then blows out the candles to her cake.

Miss Piggy: Oh, thank you! Thank you, everyone!

Kermit: Happy Birthday, Piggy.

Miss Piggy: Oh, Kermie, this is so wonderful!

Floyd: For a pig, she doesn't look a day over thirty. -laughs-

Annie Sue: -rushing over with gift- Oh, Miss Piggy, will you open my present? Will you? Will you?

Miss Piggy: Ahahaha....later. Right now, moi has more important things to do than to worry about presents or....-glances at Floyd- age jokes. Right now, comes to most important request for moi's perfect birthday. -turns to Kermit- Kermie?

Kermit: Yes?

Miss Piggy: Moi would like to host the rest of the show, if vous don't mind.

Everyone then gasps.

Gonzo: -not aware of why everyone gasped- Oh boy! Are we playing "who can hold their breath the longest?" That's some party game! Let me try! -holds his breath-

Kermit: Well....Piggy....I....uhhh

Miss Piggy: -begging- PLEASE, KERMIE! PLEEEEEEASE!

Kermit: Ummm....well....

Aretha: -entering from dressing room- Kermit?

Kermit: Oh, look, it's our guest star, Aretha Franklin! Yaaaaaaay!

Aretha: Kermit, what's going on out here? And why's Gonzo holding his breath?

Gonzo: -exhales, giving in- That game is hard.

Kermit: Well, if you don't mind, Aretha, would you be alright if Piggy hosts the rest of the show?

Aretha: Of course! I wouldn't mind that at all! After all, it is her birthday. Give the girl what she wants, Kermit.

Miss Piggy: Yes, Kermie, give the girl what she wants.

Kermit: Alright, Piggy, you can host the rest of the show.

Miss Piggy: Yes!

Everyone except Kermit, Aretha, and Miss Piggy: Noooooooooooo!

Kermit: Now, Aretha, you go get ready for your number. And, Piggy, you go introduce Aretha. -Aretha and Miss Piggy head onstage-

Floyd: Man, you're making a wrong choice here. Remember the last time the Queen of Pork hosted the show?

Scooter: -shudders in fear- Uhhh....don't make me think of that.

Kermit: Oh come on, guys, maybe things will be different this time.

Floyd: By different, do you mean having us dress like up posies again? Frills are not my thing, man.

Kermit: Fellas, it's just for one night. What can possibly go wrong?

Everyone then gasps again.

Scooter: Kermit, you can't say that on television!

Kermit: What? What could possibly go wrong?

Everyone gasps again.

Floyd: Man, you should know what happens when someone says "What could possibly go wrong?"

Everyone gasps again.

Gonzo: Everyone stop saying "What could possibly go wrong!"

Everyone gasps again.

Floyd: Stop saying that, man!

Gonzo: Saying what?

Floyd and Scooter: "What could possibly go wrong?"

Everyone gasps again.

Kermit: Good grief.

INTRODUCTION:

Miss Piggy: Thank you, thank you, thank you. I, Miss Piggy, your official host this evening, would now like to introduce to you our wonderful guest star for your pleasure right now, Miss Aretha Franklin!

MUSICAL NUMBER: Chain of Fools, sung by Aretha, locked up in a prison cellar setting, backed up by "Jail Birds" (Birds that are in jail attire)

MUPPET LABS: Bunsen believes he has found a cure for the "common cold" be using a potion that he has whipped up. He tests it on Beaker, but Beaker turns into a sickly green, monster like, thing. ("It certainly looks like he now has a case of the "uncommon cold." " )

UK SKETCH: MUSICAL NUMBER: Turkey Lurkey Time (from Promises, Promises), sung by a group of chickens. A turkey then appears onstage, but the Swedish Chef chases it off.

BALCONY (For UK SKETCH):

Waldorf: Do you know what time it is?

Statler: Definitely not Turkey Lurkey Time.

Both: Dohohohoho!

BACKSTAGE:

Miss Piggy: Everyone! Everyone! Moi has announcement to make!

Kermit: C'mon everyone! Gather around!

Various Muppets wander in.

Miss Piggy: Now. Moi has one final request in order to make this birthday the best yet.

Gonzo: And what's that?

Miss Piggy: You are all going to be in moi's closing number!

Everyone cheers.

Miss Piggy: But...-everyone continues cheering and ignoring Miss Piggy- Hey....hey! HEY!!!!!! WILL EVERYONE PLEASE BE QUIET!?!?! -silence- Thank you. Now, moi has all of your outfits ready for the closing number. Kermie, grab the outfits.

Kermit than passes out the outfits for the closing number.

Miss Piggy: Moi hopes you will like these outfits!

Everyone groans at seeing the outfits.

Floyd: Frills!?! Blech!

Miss Piggy: Watch it! I worked hard on these.

Floyd: Not hard enough. -laughs-

MUSICAL NUMBER: Respect, sung by Miss Piggy, backed up by female characters (including Annie Sue and Janice). Aretha joins in later on in the song. Zoot also does a saxophone solo in this song.

NEWSFLASH:
Newsman: Here's a Muppet News Flash! The world's tallest tissue paper monster has just been reincarnated. It has also been updated with heat vision, night vision, ice breath, flight, and everyone other sort of super power that a super hero might have. So powerful it is that even the likes of Superman can't even defeat it. Unfortunately, right now, it is on the loose and wrecking havoc wherever it goes.

Tissue Paper Monster: ROOOOOOOAR! -knocks down Newsman with its roar- You are too weak! Ha ha ha ha!

Newsman: How's a tissue paper monster able to do that?

Tissue Paper Monster: -uses heat vision on the Newsman-

Newsman: Ow! Ow! That I can believe!

BACKSTAGE:

Kermit: -wearing Miss Piggy's frilly costume- Come on, guys. It's just a costume. You can take it off after.

Scooter: -wearing Miss Piggy's frilly costume- Chief, this is really getting ridiculous. Isn't Miss Piggy going a little too far with these outfits we're wearing?

Kermit: How far?

Scooter: So far that Floyd doesn't even wanna do the number.

Floyd: -behind dressing room door- I'm not coming out with this stupid thing on!

Kermit: C'mon, Floyd, it can't be that bad.

Floyd: Oh no? -enters, wearing Miss Piggy's frilly costume (probably the most ridiculous of them all)-

Kermit and Scooter: -in disgust- Yuck!

Gonzo: -enters, wearing Miss Piggy's frilly costume- Woah! Floyd! You look great! You look like you're going to a tea party! Who's up for some tea and crumpets?

Floyd: I don't want no tea and crumpets! I want out of this costume!

Kermit: Oh, c'mon, Floyd. Just do it for Piggy.

Floyd: Not even if she karate chopped me and my butt to Antarctica!

Gonzo: Not even if I tell her you refuse to wear the costume and she'll most likely break your bass guitar?

Floyd: -gasp- Not my baby! Please! Not my baby! Okay! I'll do it!

Kermit: You will?

Floyd: Yeah.....for my bass.

Miss Piggy: Oh, fellas! It's time for the closing number. GET ONSTAGE!

Spooked, Floyd, Kermit, Gonzo and Scooter rush onstage.

Miss Piggy: Men....-goes onstage-

INTRODUCTION:

Miss Piggy: And now, ladies and gentlemen, a song by the lovely Miss Aretha Franklin.

MUSICAL NUMBER: (You Make Me Feel Like) A Natural Woman, sung by Aretha (accompanied by Rowlf on piano), in a Victorian garden setting. She is serenading various Muppet guys (in the frilly outfits that Miss Piggy made for them).

GOODNIGHTS:

The setting remains the same as before.

Kermit and Miss Piggy come on together.

Kermit: Well, folks, we sure have had an interestingly fun evening tonight.

Miss Piggy: Unfortunately, all fun evenings must come to an end.

Kermit: But before we go, let us say thank you to our absolutely terrific guest star.........

Miss Piggy: Ladies and gentlemen......

Both: Miss Aretha Franklin! YAAAAAAY!!!!

Aretha: Thank you, Kermit. And Happy Birthday, Miss Piggy.

Miss Piggy: Oh, thank you, Aretha.

Aretha: Just one question, though, Piggy. Why did you really make these guys wear those frilly outfits?

Miss Piggy: Well...it was part of the setting for your finale.

Aretha: No really. I hate to say it but frills actually look good on men.

Miss Piggy: Yes, well, maybe they should wear frills more often, then.

Kermit: Good grief. Uhhh.....we'll see you next time on The Muppet Show!

(Goodnights: Kermit, Miss Piggy, Scooter, Gonzo, Floyd, two pigs from the opening number and some of the "Jailbirds" from "Chain of Fools")

CLOSING THEME

BALCONY:

Statler and Waldorf are wearing frills.

Statler: I learned something tonight, Waldorf.

Waldorf: What's that?

Statler: Frills look terrible on us.

Both: Dohohohoho!

END
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I think I might have used one of these songs in another outline, but I had this outline in mind for a while now. Frills. Ha. Best part was definitely the frills. Anyways, stay tuned for more outlines!

 

[LipsGF4Life]

Brilliant! Ha! Luv the parts of Floyd's arguments and "What can possibly go wrong?" deal. HAHAHAHAHA!!!

 

[cjd874]

I've read a couple of these, and they're really funny. Good job with this latest outline with the Queen of Soul!

 

[MissMusical12]

I know I haven't written an outline in forever, but this one just popped into my mind. Enjoy!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
GUEST STAR: Karen Carpenter
STYLE: Season 5 (This would probably be about 3 years before her death in 1983)

COLD OPENING:
Pops is watching a soap opera on an old TV set and eating popcorn when Karen walks in.

Pops: Who are you?

Karen: I'm Karen Carpenter. I'm your guest star on The Muppet Show tonight.

Pops: Karen Carpenter? Of THE Carpenters?

Karen: That''s right.

Pops: Oh, we've been waiting for you all day!

Karen: Why?

Pops: That carpet you just stepped on needs cleaning. Mind if you do so? -gives Karen a broom-

Karen: Uhhh....

Pops: Oh and be careful not to fall through the hole.

Karen: What....-falls through hole-...HOLE!!!

Pops: I warned her.

THEME SONG
TRUMPET GAG: Animal hits Gonzo with a pair of cymbals before Gonzo can play his trumpet.

Animal: AHAHAHAHAHA.

INTRODUCTION:

Kermit: Thank you, thank you! Welcome once again to The Muppet Show! Where our very special guest star tonight is that beautiful and talented singer, Miss Karen Carpenter.

Audience: Aaaaaaaah!

Kermit: Yes! But first, do you remember the magic mirror from "Snow White?" Nor do I. But, here's an opening number for you....with a magic mirror!

MUSICAL NUMBER: I've Just Seen A Face, sung by a magic, talking mirror as it sees a pretty female whatnot go by. Near the end of the song, the female whatnot comes back by the mirror, but actually turns out to be a vicious monster.

BALCONY:

Statler is holding a mirror by Waldorf.

Waldorf: Mirror mirror, near my sight, what are the chances of us getting out of here tonight?

Mirror: None, you old geezer.

Statler: -to mirror- Well, you're not fair at all. -throws mirror-

BACKSTAGE:

Beauregard is carrying the scared magic mirror off.

Kermit: Beau, now you be careful with that.

Beauregard: I will, boss sir! -goes off-

Animal: -runs on, dragging Floyd with him- CARPENTER! CARPENTER! CARPENTER!

Kermit: Floyd, what's up with Animal tonight?

Floyd: Well you see, when I told Animal that Karen Carpenter was gonna be on the show tonight, he was on the fritz.

Kermit: You mean he got angry?

Floyd: No. Pretty excited on my part. -laughs-

Animal: KAREN! KAREN!

Karen: -coming out of dressing room- Did someone call for me?

Kermit: Oh, speaking of that, here's Karen Carpenter.

Karen: Hi, Kermit.

Animal: KAREN! KAREN! KAREN!

Karen: Oh, isn't he adorable?

Floyd and Kermit: Huh?

Animal: Ha?

Floyd: -to Kermit- That's the first time I've ever heard Animal be called "adorable." -turns to Karen- You're a pretty brave one there, Miss Carpenter. Most women would usually run away from Animal at this point.

Karen: Animal? Is that the little fella's name? -pets Animal-

Animal: YA! YA! -nods-

Karen: Oh, Animal. What an adorable name for a.......whatever he is.

Animal: Adorable!

Kermit: Oh, I almost forgot. Karen, isn't it almost time for your first number?

Karen: Oh, yes. I almost forgot. Thank you, Kermit. -goes onstage with Kermit-

Animal: WOMAN! WOMAN! WOMAN!

INTRODUCTION:

Kermit: And now, ladies and gentlemen, a look into the aristocratic lives of the rich. How lonely one life can be when you're rich. And to help us interpret this is our guest star, Karen Carpenter! YAAAAAAAAY!!!!

MUSICAL NUMBER: All You Get From Love Is A Love Song, sung by Karen, backed up by the Female Singers, in a rich, classy, swanky, aristocratic house setting. Zoot comes on later and does a saxophone solo.

BALCONY:

Statler: You know what else makes me lonely?

Waldorf: What?

Statler: Being up here and watching this show!

Both: Dohohohoho.

Waldorf: -realizes what he's laughing about- Hey!

BACKSTAGE:

Kermit: Okay. Way to go, Karen!

Karen: Thank you, Kermit. -goes off-

Voice: HIIIIIIYA!

Suddenly, Animal is thrown out from Miss Piggy's dressing room.

Miss Piggy: And don't come back in here, you Animal! -shuts dressing room door-

Kermit: Animal, what were just doing?

Animal: WAAAAH! WAAAAAH!!! Pig kick me out of room! WAAAAAAAAH!!!!

Kermit: Good grief.

Floyd: -rushes to Animal- Animal just happened?

Animal: WAAAAAAAAH!!! WAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!

Kermit: Floyd, do something!

Floyd: How should I know what to do? Animal's never cried like this before.

Kermit and Floyd then think for a minute while Animal is still wailing. They then get an idea.

Kermit and Floyd: Karen!

BEAR ON PATROL: Patrol Bear arrests a "Boy Who Cried Wolf"-esque whatnot because he keeps claiming that a monster is going to eat his town. A monster then comes in to the office and starts eating everything in sight, thus causing Patrol Bear, the chief and the "Boy Who Cried Wolf" run around in panic.

UK SKETCH: MUSICAL NUMBER: Let's Get Together (from "The Parent Trap") sung by two female twin birds. At the end of the song they combine into one two headed bird.

BACKSTAGE (Karen's Dressing Room):

Karen is reading a magazine, when suddenly there's a knock on the door.

Karen: Come in.

Floyd and Kermit enter, dragging Animal behind them. Animal is still wailing loudly.

Karen: Oh my.

Kermit: Karen, can you help us?

Karen: Help you do what?

Kermit: Help us make Animal stop wailing.

Karen: -unable to hear message- Help you make children stop caring? Kermit, you're on Sesame Street!

Kermit: No! I meant help us make Animal stop wailing!

Karen: -still unable to hear message- You want me to drain zoos of their whales? Kermit.......

Floyd: HE MEANT TRY TO STOP ANIMAL FROM WAILING!

Karen: OH! WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SO? GIVE HIM TO ME!

Animal: WAAAAAAH! WAAAAAAAH!

Karen: Animal! Animal! Calm down! Shhh. Shh. It's okay. -Animal quiets down- Everything will be alright.

MUSICAL NUMBER: I Won't Last A Day Without You, sung by Karen, singing to Animal. Kermit, Floyd, and other Muppets join in later on in the song.

PIGS IN SPACE: First Mate Piggy brings on the magic talking mirror from the opening number to the Swinetrek. (Actually, Beauregard is actually carrying the talking mirror on for her.) Unfortunately, Beauregard slips and the magic mirror breaks, causing a slew of bad luck on the Swinetrek for the next 7 years.

BALCONY:
Statler: I don't believe in the bad luck garbage.

Waldorf: What about that mirror you broke earlier?

Statler: Well, then we'll be dead before the bad luck gets to us then.

Both: Dohohohohoho!

BACKSTAGE:

Beauregard, Link Hogthrob and Dr. Julius Strangepork: WE'RE CURSED!!!! WE'RE CURSED!!!!! WE'RE CURSED!!!!!!

Miss Piggy: Ahhh, quit your whining. -goes off-

Kermit and Scooter are talking with Karen.

Karen: You wanna know something, guys?

Scooter: What's that, Karen?

Karen: I used to be a drummer also. And I hear Animal is a really good drummer.

Kermit: Oh, Animal and drums are his life. I think this is the first time we'd have a female drummer on our show.

Scooter: Yeah! Animal would be thrilled if he found out about that.

Animal: -running on, dragging Floyd with him- GAAAAAAAH!!!!! GAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!

Kermit: Oh, hi, guys.

Animal: KAREN! KAREN! KAREN!

Karen: Well, someone is feeling much better than before.

Floyd: Took Animal here for a quick walk afterwards, and he's feeling much better now.

Karen: Thank you, Floyd. -turns to Kermit- Should I tell him?

Kermit: Be my guest.

Karen: -turns back to Animal- Animal......Did you know that I'm also a drummer?

Animal: -shocked- DRUM LADY!?!?

Karen: Yup.

Animal:.........DRUM LADY!!!! DRUM LADY!!!!

Floyd: Well, Karen, it looks like you really made his day. You just combined his two favorite things in the world. Drums and women. -laughs-

Kermit: Well, then, have we a closing number for you, Karen! -rushes onstage-

Karen: This I have to be in. -goes onstage

INTRODUCTION:
Kermit: A little known fact for all of you is that our guest star, Karen Carpenter, is also a drummer. Which just combines the two greatest things in our drummer, Animal's life: Women and drums. Which now brings us to our closing number, featuring our own Electric Mayhem and our guest star, Karen Carpenter! YAAAAAAAAY!

MUSICAL NUMBER: Superstar, sung by Karen (whom is also on drums for this number; alternating drums with Animal), accompanied by The Electric Mayhem (including Lips).

GOODNIGHTS:
Kermit: And so concludes another exciting show, but before we go, let us thank our wonderfully talented guest star, ladies and gentlemen, Miss Karen Carpenter! YAAAAAAAY!!!

Karen: Thank you so much, Kermit. It was really great to spend time with everyone here tonight.

Animal: -rushing on- DRUM LADY! DRUM LADY! DRUM LADY! -hugs Karen-

Karen: Yes, especially you, Animal. -kisses Animal on the nose-

Animal: Awwwwwwww!

Kermit: Okay, we'll see you next time on The Muppet Show!

(Goodnights: Kermit, Animal, Scooter, Floyd, Beauregard, Fozzie and Zoot)

CLOSING THEME

BALCONY:

Statler accidentally knocks down a salt shaker. The two old men then turn to each and look up.

Statler and Waldorf: Uh oh.

A grand piano falls on them.

END
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
-phew- This one took a while, but it was fun to do. I'm also planning another fanfic (story fanfic) that should be around real soon. If anyone is interested on what I'm planning it on, let me know. Don't forget, I am taking requests for outlines (Just make sure to read the guidelines beforehand). More outlines are coming soon!

 

[Stan Davis]

MUSICAL NUMBER: I Won't Last A Day Without You, sung by Karen, singing to Animal. Kermit, Floyd, and other Muppets join in later on in the song.

which muppets appear besides Animal,Kermit,and Floyd?