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Here is an outline for an episode of the muppet show. This takes place during the first season and guest stars first season head writer Jack Burns, who had formerly been part of the comedy team "Burns and Schriver" (yes, his partner was Avery Schriver, who guest starred in the first season). I am surprised that Jack Burns didn't guest star in the first season considering the trouble the producers had of getting guest stars.
Introduction
Sam The eagle reminds kermit that he promised to let Wayne and Wanda sing the opening number.
Opening Number: Singing in the rain
Wayne and Wanda hold umbrellas on a rainy city (rowlf plays piano in the background, underneath some shades that blocks the rain from rowlf). They actually finish, but still have trouble: the rain stops halfway through the song, and it snows by the end of the song.
Balcony
Statler: What kind of a number was that?
waldorf: it was one.
Introduction
Kermit introduces a crazy pig.
Act
A crazy pig sits behind a desk, slams his face into the desk, says "not hurt!", hits his head on his hands a few times, says "not hands", then eats the entire desk and says "not food!".
Balcony
Statler and Waldorf hit their heads together and on the balcony and say "Not Good!".
Act
Kermit is a news reporter, reporting from a nearby mental hospital, where he interviews crazy harry (whose mental problem is blowing things up), three whatnots (one who is scared of green things, one who thinks balloons are candy, and one who is obsessed with windows on high floors), and Jack Burns, who likes to dance on the ceiling, and runs up the wall to dance on the ceiling.
Balcony
Waldorf: Jack Burns!
Statler: thats right. Jack Burns very badly.
Backstage
Wayne and Wanda thank sam for getting them to do the opening number, and sam manages to force kermit to let Wayne and wanda perform in every act for the rest of the show. Scooter and Fozzie are disapointed that they wont be in the next act (wayne and wanda replace them)
Conversation panel
Kermits guests are Jack Burns, Wayne, Wanda, and Nigel, and the topic is terrible singing. Wanda objects to terrible singing, and jack tells her that she should give up singing then.
At The Dance
Wanda: ain't I a good dancer?
Wayne: You sure are.
Zoot: (dancing with janice) yeah, you're better at dancing then singign.
Zelda Rose: so, you used to host the show, huh?
Nigel: yep.
Zelda Rose: and now you are a conductor, huh?
Nigel: yep.
Zelda Rose: you must be wimpier than I thought.
Mildred: dance faster, george.
George: why should I?
Mildred: the faster we dance, the sooner this sketch is over.
(george dances at full speed).
wayne: well, this has been a good evening.
Wanda: it sure has. nothing has gone wr---
(george and mildred knock them over).
U.K. Spot
In front of a curtain, sam introduces wayne and wanda in "I'm bringing home my baby bumble bee". wayne sings, and the bumblebee stings wanda. curtain goes down, and sam introduces them in "yellow submarine". wayne and wanda are in a submarine which leaks. sam introduces them in one more song: "moonlight bay", which they sing on a boat but get blown up.
Talk Spot
Wayne and wanda interview jack Burns, who talks about being a comedy writer.
Wayne: so, what kind of shows have you written for?
Jack Burns: oh, shows like that one puppet show that is hosted by a frog.
Wanda: oh, i would hate to be on that kind of a show.
Backstage
Fozzie gets ready for his act, only to learn that wayne and wanda are going to be with him.
Introduction
Kermit: "if you hate wayne and wanda, then you'll hate them with the one and only Fozzie bear!".
Fozzies Act
Fozzie tells wayne and wanda some jokes, which they mess up, and the audience boos them. statler and waldorf, however, think that is the best performance of any of them.
Backstage
wayne and Wanda are tired of acting, and feel that they need to take two weeks off the show, and kermit is happy to let them take a vacation.
kermit: of course, I think a permaneant vacation is best for you.
Wanda: no, two weeks is good enough.
Song: Our House
The Houses sing, and each one gets a line.
Closing Number
Jack Burns sings a nonsense song (like the one Avery Schriver sang for his closing number) with the gogolalla jubilee jugband.
Good Night
Kermit apologizes for the wayne and Wanda-heavy show, but wayne and wanda take offense. they are joined by Sam The eagle, the crazy pig, Dr. Teeth, and Zelda Rose.
Introduction
Sam The eagle reminds kermit that he promised to let Wayne and Wanda sing the opening number.
Opening Number: Singing in the rain
Wayne and Wanda hold umbrellas on a rainy city (rowlf plays piano in the background, underneath some shades that blocks the rain from rowlf). They actually finish, but still have trouble: the rain stops halfway through the song, and it snows by the end of the song.
Balcony
Statler: What kind of a number was that?
waldorf: it was one.
Introduction
Kermit introduces a crazy pig.
Act
A crazy pig sits behind a desk, slams his face into the desk, says "not hurt!", hits his head on his hands a few times, says "not hands", then eats the entire desk and says "not food!".
Balcony
Statler and Waldorf hit their heads together and on the balcony and say "Not Good!".
Act
Kermit is a news reporter, reporting from a nearby mental hospital, where he interviews crazy harry (whose mental problem is blowing things up), three whatnots (one who is scared of green things, one who thinks balloons are candy, and one who is obsessed with windows on high floors), and Jack Burns, who likes to dance on the ceiling, and runs up the wall to dance on the ceiling.
Balcony
Waldorf: Jack Burns!
Statler: thats right. Jack Burns very badly.
Backstage
Wayne and Wanda thank sam for getting them to do the opening number, and sam manages to force kermit to let Wayne and wanda perform in every act for the rest of the show. Scooter and Fozzie are disapointed that they wont be in the next act (wayne and wanda replace them)
Conversation panel
Kermits guests are Jack Burns, Wayne, Wanda, and Nigel, and the topic is terrible singing. Wanda objects to terrible singing, and jack tells her that she should give up singing then.
At The Dance
Wanda: ain't I a good dancer?
Wayne: You sure are.
Zoot: (dancing with janice) yeah, you're better at dancing then singign.
Zelda Rose: so, you used to host the show, huh?
Nigel: yep.
Zelda Rose: and now you are a conductor, huh?
Nigel: yep.
Zelda Rose: you must be wimpier than I thought.
Mildred: dance faster, george.
George: why should I?
Mildred: the faster we dance, the sooner this sketch is over.
(george dances at full speed).
wayne: well, this has been a good evening.
Wanda: it sure has. nothing has gone wr---
(george and mildred knock them over).
U.K. Spot
In front of a curtain, sam introduces wayne and wanda in "I'm bringing home my baby bumble bee". wayne sings, and the bumblebee stings wanda. curtain goes down, and sam introduces them in "yellow submarine". wayne and wanda are in a submarine which leaks. sam introduces them in one more song: "moonlight bay", which they sing on a boat but get blown up.
Talk Spot
Wayne and wanda interview jack Burns, who talks about being a comedy writer.
Wayne: so, what kind of shows have you written for?
Jack Burns: oh, shows like that one puppet show that is hosted by a frog.
Wanda: oh, i would hate to be on that kind of a show.
Backstage
Fozzie gets ready for his act, only to learn that wayne and wanda are going to be with him.
Introduction
Kermit: "if you hate wayne and wanda, then you'll hate them with the one and only Fozzie bear!".
Fozzies Act
Fozzie tells wayne and wanda some jokes, which they mess up, and the audience boos them. statler and waldorf, however, think that is the best performance of any of them.
Backstage
wayne and Wanda are tired of acting, and feel that they need to take two weeks off the show, and kermit is happy to let them take a vacation.
kermit: of course, I think a permaneant vacation is best for you.
Wanda: no, two weeks is good enough.
Song: Our House
The Houses sing, and each one gets a line.
Closing Number
Jack Burns sings a nonsense song (like the one Avery Schriver sang for his closing number) with the gogolalla jubilee jugband.
Good Night
Kermit apologizes for the wayne and Wanda-heavy show, but wayne and wanda take offense. they are joined by Sam The eagle, the crazy pig, Dr. Teeth, and Zelda Rose.
