Here's one for
@Old Thunder.
Once upon a time the toughest, strongest, most rugged men used to go up to Alaska to measure their toughness. One guy travels up there and is stopped at the border by a guard. The man says,"I want to live in Alaska because I'm tough!"
The guard says, "Well, you have to pass a test. There are three parts.
1) You have to chug a bottle of whiskey.
2) You have to kill a polar bear.
3) you have to make love to an Eskimo girl.
First test, the guy takes a bottle of whiskey and pounds it down in five seconds.
Second, the guard says, "See that cave up on the hill? That's where the polar bear lives. Go get him!"
The man goes up the hill and he's gone for an hour. He comes back down, his clothes are in shreds, he's bleeding, he has two black eyes, he's limping, and he says to the guard,
"Okay! Now where's this Eskimo girl you want me to kill?"