LeapFrog

[Ruahnna]

Dazzling them with Diversification

Ru edged around the doorframe of the hallway leading to her room and Piggy’s. Clifford was swigging water out of a bottle, and Kermit was in the kitchen splashing water on his face.
“How’s it going?”
Clifford held his hand up level and wobbled it. Ru flashed him a brilliant smile. Things must have improved since he’d given her the two thumbs down earlier that morning. She might have said more, but Kermit walked back toward them and gave her a weary smile. Not sure if she was a wanted source of support, or a cause for additional self-consciousness, Ruahnna smiled back tentatively.
“Hi honey,” she said. “How are you?”
Kermit looked toward Clifford, who jerked his head slightly in acquiescence, then smiled and said. “Improving—so I’m told.”
“I’ll get out of your way if you—“
“No—stay and watch.” He looked to Clifford hopefully. “Can we—can we show her what we have so far?”
“Your rep, man,” said Clifford, but he was smiling. He walked over to the sound system and looked back toward Kermit. “Say you’re ready and I’ll start the music.”
Kermit shook himself, shaking out his arms and legs a little to loosen and warm his muscles back up. Clifford waited patiently, but when Kermit began to do jumping jacks, he snorted.
“Get on with it, Kerm,” he said bemusedly, and Kermit stopped bouncing and went to his mark. He took two deep breaths and nodded to Clifford. The music pounded out.
Oh! He IS better, thought Ru excitedly, although it wasn’t exactly ready for MTV. Kermit (or Clifford, or some combination of same) had added complexity to the routine, polished his individual moves, and developed a pretty strong finish. It was soooo much better, but a quick look between her and Clifford when Kermit wasn’t looking confirmed what she had feared. Something was missing, and the jury was still out on what the teacher would say. Kermit had confessed that, while passable, his other grades had been weak. He needed an unambiguous success to secure a passing grade.
Kermit finished and looked at his coach and roomie for approval. Ru’s smile was sincere but Kermit seemed to sense her unspoken concern.
“I stink,” he said morosely, but this time both of them hastened to comfort him.
“Naw, man,” said Clifford. “Yesterday, you stank. Today, you’re just a little, you know, not quite fresh.”
“That would be great if I were a vegetable,” said Kermit dismally. Ru reached over and gave him a hug. Hmmm—who knew frogs could sweat? She disentangled herself and patted him on the shoulder.
“Well, how about some soup and a grilled cheese sandwhich?” she said.
Kermit shrugged, then nodded. Ru broke one of their room rules about not discussing the intricacies of everyone’s eating habits (primarily Kermit’s) and offered a tempting addition.
“I’ve still got some of those sun-dried flies I could sprinkle in?”
Kermit perked up eagerly. “Really? The spicy ones?”
Ruahnna nodded. “That’s them. You’ve got time for a shower while I get everything ready, ‘kay?”

While Kermit had been getting clean, he’d also been getting an audience of sort. He gulped nervously upon entering the room, but it was a benevolent group of spectators.
“Um, hi guys,” said Kermit, waving to his roomies.
“Hello, Kermie,” said Piggy, and smiled at him. It was a wonderful smile—a giving smile—with no demand at all in it, just radiant affection and approval. From her vantage point in the kitchen, Ru would have sworn Kermit stood up straighter and walked with more confidence after that smile.
Fozzie was more direct. He stepped forward and enveloped the surprised amphibian in a soft and comforting bear hug.
“Oh, um, gee thanks, Fozzie,” said Kermit, patting him fondly on the back. Putting his furry friend at ease seemed to put Kermit at ease, and he sat down at the table and watched eagerly as Ru ladled soup into his bowl. As promised, she sprinkled the surface with something from a jar and Kermit tucked in with gusto.
Lunch was a relaxed affair, even after Clifford arrived and allowed himself to be plied with soup and a sandwich or two. Sated and bolstered by his friends, Kermit felt ready to face his hip-ness deficiency with determination. Instead of clearing the room, Kermit stepped to his mark when asked and showed them the whole routine.
Clifford no longer looked pained, and though he opened his mouth once or twice he shut it without comment. He felt more than heard Ru hovering at his elbow and gave her a half-shrug.
“Yes,” she agreed. “Better.”
Clifford looked thoughtful. “Do you know what to do when you’re jokes aren’t funny?” he asked her. She looked startled for a moment.
“Um….”
“Tap dance?” said Fozzie anxiously. To his surprise, Clifford nodded.
“Exactly,” he said. “You redirect. Take the audience’s collective mind off what’s not perfect and dazzle them with diversification.”
Of the eight eyes staring at Clifford, only Piggy’s had a glimmer of comprehension. “You mean—“ she began.
“What you need are some hot back-up girls,” Clifford said.
“Yeah,” said Fozzie sadly. “Too bad you don’t know any.”
Piggy stepped forward, fire in her eye, but Kermit got between them hastily. Kermit had not survived this long in show biz without developing some survival instincts, foremost of which was a thorough knowledge of Piggy’s moods.
“Um, I know this is a sort of amateurish venue,” he said, inventing wildly. “But maybe you could dance for me, Miss Piggy.” He turned his pollywog eyes on her. “You know, just for my final exam?”
Piggy stopped trying to go through Kermit and looked at him, surprised.
“You know-in the interest of higher education,” he wheedled.
Piggy looked mollified, and actually blushed a little. “Moi has always been a supporter of higher education,” she murmured, cheeks pink. “And Moi would be happy to help vous, dear,” she said.
“Maybe bring a couple of your friends,” prompted Clifford. Ruahnna began to edge out of the room.
“Ru! Oh Ru!” Piggy called, looking around for her roomie in some confusion.
Her friend was shaking her head firmly. “Oh no,” she insisted. “This is not really my thing.”
“What’s not your thing?” Piggy said, confused, but Clifford was eying Ru with an assessing eye. He opened his mouth to say something but she spun around and fixed him with a look of such ferocity that he shut it carefully.
“Comment on my physique and I will hurt you,” she said fiercely.
“Yes ma’am,” mumbled Clifford, eyes wide. “This is me—not commenting.”
“What are you going on about?” asked Piggy. “I wanted you to iron something for me.” Ruahnna regarded her with something between affection and exasperation, more than relieved to be done with the previous topic.
“Okay, Sweetie-let’s go look in your closet.”

 

[Ruahnna]

(Trying to finish up some of my orphans. More to follow.)

 

[The Count]

*Loves the update. *Loves the fact this got updated. *Um, offers glass of pink lemonade while scurrying off to finish some own scholarly things.
Thank Ru!

 

[Ruahnna]

Sounds Like A Plan

“How do I look?” asked Piggy, knowing the answer but wanting to hear him say it. Kermit started to gush but then remembered his own role. When he did speak, his tone was cool, his manner off-hand.
“Fly, baby,” he said, with a smooth gesture of one hand.
Piggy gave him a look, and Kermit broke character and leaned forward, peeking at her from under his shades.
“And from me,” he teased earnestly, “that means good enough to eat!.”
Piggy did giggle this time, and watched with bemusement as Kermit resumed his detached air. The giggle cinched it—she did look adorable. The short shorts and hooded jacket were so pale pink that they looked practically white against her pink skin, and the baseball cap turned at a rakish ankle did little to diminish the glorious tumble of blonde curls. She was wearing pink running shoes with no socks, showing a lot of plump leg.
Clifford was watching them thoughtfully, lost in thought. For a moment, playing it cool with Piggy, Kermit had actually had it going on. He shook himself out of his reverie when he realized everyone was looking at him.
“Ok,” said Clifford, nodding his approval. “We’ve got the look and at least one girl—now all we have to do is the moves. C’mon, Kerm my man—show me what you’ve got.” Clifford watched over to the CD player and hit the button. Loud, raucous noise spilled out of it—noise with a killer beat and some snappy patter.
Obediently, but somewhat self-consciously, Kermit moved through his routine. Technically, he wasn’t bad—he’d always been able to learn choreography fairly easily—but he simply wasn’t able to carry off the attitude.
“C’mon, Kerm,” said Clifford. “You’ve got to strut. You know, own the place.”
Kermit grimaced, and tried to look authoritative. The effect was oddly reminiscent of Sam the Eagle, and not at all what Clifford was hoping for. He waved it away, turned off the music, and sighed. Kermit looked anxious.
“That bad?” he asked.
“No,” said Clifford immediately. “Not bad, just….okay, bad. But it’s not the moves—it’s your ‘tude, man.”
“My…my ‘tude?”
“Yeah, man—your demeanor.”
Kermit stared at him blankly, and Clifford signed again. He shot Ruahnna a pleading look.
“You’re good at words,” he said. “Can’t you explain it to him?”
Ruahnna looked thoughtful. “Maybe,” she said. “Piggy—can I talk to you for a second?”
Piggy trotted over, and Kermit, Clifford and Fozzie all found themselves watching her satin-clad form cross the floor. It was worth seeing. Looking away, their eyes met, and Kermit glared at Fozzie and Clifford, who hastily averted their eyes. In the corner, Piggy was giggling with Ruahnna. Kermit took it as a bad sign.
Piggy nodded, and left the room.
“Wait!” Kermit called anxiously. “That was—Piggy was going to be one of my, um, fly girls. Where did you send her?”
“Nowhere,” said Ruahnna. “Just watch.” She cleared her throat. “Okay—Piggy is going to enter the room as a student. Come on in, Student Piggy.”
The males in the room exchanged confused looks, but watched obediently as Piggy opened the door and bustled in. She had her books in her hand, and while she certainly wouldn’t have faded into the background, she strode across the room and sat down primly in a chair, back straight, knees pressed together. She exuded brisk efficiently and attentiveness.
“That was lovely, Piggy,” said Ruahnna. “Go on back out.”
Kermit looked at Ruahnna out of the corner of his eyes. “Um….” He began.
“Just wait,” said Ruahnna. She raised her voice so Piggy, on the other side of the door, could hear her. “Come on in, Diva Piggy.”
The door opened, and at first there was nothing to see, then Piggy eased around the doorframe and leaned dramatically on the doorframe, one plump arm holding her tousled hair above her head. Her shocking blue eyes were downcast, but while Kermit stared, transfixed, Piggy flashed her gaze up at him and then swept into the room. The fellows let out a collective “ahhh” and fell back before her entrance. Piggy glided across the floor and managed to drape herself over the same straight-backed wooden chair as before, but the effect was electrifyingly different.
Teasingly, Clifford let out a wolf whistle, but managed to diffuse it with enough cheeky charm to not get diva-whacked. (Or frog-whacked.)
Then, without moving a muscle, Piggy suddenly became…just Piggy. She stood up and looked at them, preening just a little.
“Lovely, Piggy—thank you,” said Ruahnna.
Kermit looked at Ruahnna, and she could practically see the little light bulb over his head begin to glow.
“I get it,” Kermit said excitedly. “You’re saying I don’t have to be someone different--I just need to act like a hip-hop star, right?”
Ruahnna clapped proudly. “That’s right. You don’t have to change your image—just borrow someone else’s for a little bit.” She gestured grandly toward the door. “Go on out and try it,” she urged.
Kermit got up and walked out of the room, looking thoughtful, and they all waited patiently.
“Do you think he’ll come back?” asked Fozzie.
“Shhhh!” whispered Ruahnna, for the door was already opening. Kermit walked in with his usual gait.
“Hi ho,” he said. “It’s just me, Kermit the Frog, this time.”
Everyone waved, and Kermit turned around and walked out the door. Several pairs of fingers were surreptitiously crossed—one fuzzy, one satin-gloved and one nervously. The door opened again, and Kermit slouched into the room. Well, slouched wasn’t quite the word, although is shoulders were certainly hunched forward. Kermit walked with supreme indifference into the room, one hand in the pocket of his jeans, the other swinging loosely by his side. His ball cap had been turned at an angle, and the brim threw half of his face into shadow. He slouch-strutted into the room, then went and tossed himself negligently into the chair.
“’S’up?” Kermit demanded, scowling.
Ruahnna laughed, Piggy squealed her approval and Fozzie took his hat off his head and held it nervously in front of him.
“Kermit?” he asked uncertainly, and Kermit stood up and grinned his old familiar lop-sided smile.
“How was that?” he asked.
“Oh!” said Fozzie. “It is you!”
“Not bad, Kerm,” said Clifford. “Now, we just had to get you to sustain that funk while you sing and dance. Get over here and let’s run it.”
Kermit started to shoot up out of the chair, but caught himself. He sat there a moment longer, then tilted his head indulgently.
“Whatever,” he grunted, and heaved himself out of the chair to shuffle over to where Clifford waited.
“Okay—everybody out except the dancers,” said Clifford peremptorily. Ruahnna tucked her hand under Fozzie’s arm and they exited the room.
“Do—do you think I could do that?” asked Fozzie.
“Um, do what specifically?” Ruahnna said carefully, looking at Fozzie out of the corner of her eye.
“Um, leave the room and come back in as someone else?”
“I think you are a very talented bear, and if you wanted to, then I think you could carry it off.”
“Carry it off where?”
Ruahnna laughed. “What I was trying to say was, yes Fozzie—I’m sure you could. You’ve done it lots of times before.”
Fozzie looked uncertain. “Really? Then…who am I now?”
“Fozzie…Fozzie, honey—you’re you. You’ve always been you, you’ll always be you. I’m just saying that every time you’ve acted you’ve pretended to be someone else.”
“Oh, right.” He was quite for a moment. “So, if I wanted to pretend to be someone else, you think I could do it?”
“Yeeeessss,” Ruahnna said thoughtfully, wondering if she ought to elaborate, but Fozzie seemed satisfied.
“Good,” he said. “I think I’ll come back in as someone rich and funny.”
This time Ru laughed out loud. “Sounds like a plan, Fozzie.”

 

[The Count]

Yeah... All da guys know Kerm's fly... For a frog guy. Nice technique what with the changing at the door. Maybe Clifford outta try that when he wants to switch accents next time. Thanks for sharing... Can't wait for more.
*Crosses fingers for an update to erm, other projects.
No crosses please.
Sorry.

 

[Ruahnna]

Can't wait for more.
*Crosses fingers for an update to erm, other projects.

And--ta da--you don't have to! Let's wrap this puppy, um, er, FROG up!

 

[Ruahnna]

Fly Away Home

The next afternoon, Ru and Fozzie had taken turns hand-wringing as they watched Kermit and Piggy bustle out the door. It had been a pleasant but somewhat panic-inducing surprise when Clifford had texted them a half-hour later.
“Come watch. Teach is cool about fans.”
They had—correctly—concluded that meant that Kermit’s teacher was willing to have friends and encouragers in the audience. Ru and Fozzie had hastened to scrub faces and paws and throw on spectator duds before dashing across campus to the gymnasium.
The coach had been less than thrilled by Piggy’s high heels, but was appeased when she changed into the pink running shoes and deigned to let her on the brightly polished wood floor. She was doing some spectacularly eye-catching warm-up exercises, and Ru wondered fleetingly if she knew how much of the audience’s attention was on her in the sidelines and then laughed. How silly—of course she knew! Kermit bobbed up and down on his flippers nervously, trying to stretch and regain his calm while Beaker and Bunsen Honeydew took the floor.
Despite the lack of comprehensible words, the routine Beaker and Honeydew had put together was easily a B+ if not an A-. Playing off each other as usual, Bunsen’s mostly unflappable nature and Beaker’s high energy carried them through. It was not exactly MTV material, but it was highly enjoyable. Kermit found he could relax just a smidge, and seeing Ruahnna and Fozzie in the audience, waving madly, made him smile.
He felt himself relax. After all—it was one class—one class among many classes. And while he didn’t like the fact, he had learned long ago that he wasn’t going to be good at everything. With Clifford’s not-so-patient tutelage, Piggy’s dance moves and the support of his roomies, he’d survive one way or another. He no longer feared making a complete idiot of himself…may just an incomplete one.
The instructor looked over at Kermit expectantly. She smiled, revealing lots and lots of brilliant white teeth in her dark face.
“Ready, Kermit?”
“As I’ll ever be,” he muttered, but smiled. “Give us a moment to, um, get into it.”
She smiled broadly and nodded. “Okay. Just let me know when you’re ready.”
Kermit turned and met Piggy’s big blue eyes. She was smiling at him as she put his baseball cap on his head at a rakish angle and made a miniscule adjustment to his collar.
“Knock ‘em dead,” Piggy said soberly.
Kermit managed a tremulous smile. “Right. Got it.” He shook out his arms and legs, turned his back to the audience, hunched his shoulders and touched one long finger to the bill of his cap.
The music started, but Kermit didn’t move. Piggy moved—moved explosively—but not until the music had gone through two whole measures did Kermit turn. When he did, it was a long, slow turn, his body revolving easily, as though oiled.
The audience, which had waited in a somewhat apprehensive silence as he stood, motionless, erupted into an impromptu cheer.
Kermit had been doing pratfalls and songs and anything he could think of for applause for as long as he could remember. That burst of cheering went straight to his performer’s soul, and buoyed him, lifting him over the music, through the music. Kermit launched into his first set of isolation moves, pulling them off with cheek if not finesse. Besides, Piggy had finesse enough for both of them, and she slinked and vamped around him in a way that might have distracted him if he had not been so in the moment.
Kermit was moving through the bridge now, hands and feet moving in precision. He stopped suddenly, did a long, smooth shoulder roll that ended with his outstretched hand. Piggy took the hand, catching the wave and then throwing the move back to him.
Again, the audience cheered. Ru looked anxiously toward Kermit’s instructor, but she was smiling, her clipboard clasped to her chest. She was nodding in time to the music—a good sign.
When the routine was over, Kermit’s instructor was smiling her big wolfish smile again, and she gave him a big thumbs up. “Pass” she mouthed at him, and Kermit felt suddenly like he wanted to sit down on the gym floor and gibber, but he was surrounded by his roomies and a number of folks from the audience.
“Oh, you nailed it, Kermit!” cried Ru.
“Nailed it to what?” asked Fozzie. “I thought he was good.”
“Oh, he was,” she said, including the puzzled bear in the big hug that enveloped Kermit. “He was wonderful!”
The audience seemed to concur.
“Nice moves, there, frogman,” said Dr. Teeth. “Serious cool.”
Kermit grimaced. “Thanks, Doc. This isn’t my usual.”
“Wow—like, I didn’t know you could move like that,” said a perky little brunette. She was twirling her hair and smiling at Kermit. Piggy got between them, fire in her eye.
“Yeah?” she growled. “Well Moi did, so back off, you Brittney wannabe.”
The young lady backed off hastily with one wistful backward glance, but all she saw was Kermit reaching to hug his dance, um, partner.
“Gosh, Piggy,” said Kermit. “I—thanks. I couldn’t have done it without you.”
“That’s right,” she said, happy to have his arms around her, but her expression was sweet.
Clifford ambled up and led Kermit through a complicated hand-shake that the elated amphibian followed with some difficulty. “Keep cool, my man,” said the dreadlocked muppet.
Kermit released Piggy to hug the mortified bass player.
“Hey, now, get off man,” said Clifford, nevertheless giving Kermit’s shoulder a series of small pats.
“Wow—thanks, Clifford,” Kermit said earnestly. “I couldn’t have made it without your help. You’re a real friend.”
“Naw, man,” said Clifford. “I just did it for the pies.” But he was smiling as he disentangled himself.
After several more moments of happy congratulations, the crowd had thinned to the four occupants of Room 20.
“Your GPA is safe, not to mention your rep,” said Ru. “Are you glad that’s over?”
“Um, not quite over,” said Kermit. His eyes strayed to Piggy’s satin-clad form. Ru realized with a start they they appeared to be holding hands. He was talking to Ru but his eyes were on Piggy. “I was thinking maybe we could go out somewhere—you know—get a bite to eat or…something.”
Ru hesitated. “That would be nice,” said Piggy softly. She looked down at her very brief shorts, the athletic shoes. “I’d have to go change,” she began.
‘No, don’t,” said Kermit quickly. Piggy looked at him in surprise. He looked a little shy but oddly defiant. “I think we should, you know, go like we are.”
Ru stifled a smile, but Fozzie burst in excitedly. “Oh! Ooh! Ooh! That’s a great idea! We can be your posse!”
That made Kermit laugh out loud. “Sure. You and Ru can be my posse. C’mon—let’s blow this joint.”
They turned toward the gymnasium door, and Piggy cast Kermit a long side-ways glance.
“So what does that make me?” she asked softly. “Just part of your posse?”
For a moment, Kermit’s face registered surprise, then confusion, and finally, a telling blush crept up his cheeks.
“Um, no,” he said, equally soft. “You can be my fly girl. That is…if you want to be…?”
Piggy’s cheeks were pink, too. “Maybe skip the fly part,” she said dryly.
Kermit’s smile broadened. “But I like flies,” he protested. “Especially with—“
“Ahh aah ahh!” his roomies cried in unison. “No askie—no tellie!”
Kermit humphed in mock indignation. Some days, it just wasn’t easy being a frog.

 

[Ruahnna]

(background music)

Oh, in case you're wondering, the song in my head (and in Kermit's routine) is:

Who I am by Joey Page

http://www.myspace.com/joeypagemusic

 

[The Count]

The end? *Lifts cardboard sign saying "FROG WIN!"
Thanks... *Off to other reads in the library.
*Comes back and hugs Aunt Ru. *Leaves again.

 

[The Count]

Ziffled... You know, was going to ask for the rap Kermit sang with Wayne Brady to then send on for this nice story. There's another song for a different tale, but it's only if you rully need/want it.

Again, thanks, this was a great story and your usual exemplery expositionary skills shine through.
Hope to read more by you in the near future.