Hi everyone! Well for those of you who didn't get to see it, I thought I'd do a little transcribing. So, here's more or less the dialogue from Kermit's appearance. Thanks for Beau for suggesting I post this.
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Martha: And now, welcome Kermit the Frog!!! Hey, Kermit! Hi!
(To much applause, Kermit joins her behind a kitchen counter with a plant on it.)
Kermit: <laughs> Thank you, thank you! Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!
Martha: He’s here! Now, Kermit… Kermit…I know you’re a very very very smart guy.
Kermit: Well, thank you! I try to be!
Martha: I didn’t know you were 51 years old, though.
Kermit: You know I think that’s just in people years.
Martha: Oh, okay.
Kermit: It’s not the same in frog years.
Martha: Okay, not in frog years, just people years.
Kermit: No, no.
Martha: But you must have fantastic tips for us all to keep our houses and our yards and our lives green.
Kermit: Yep, yep. That’s important, you know…
Martha: Because you’re green!
Kermit: I am green, and that’s how I stay that way.
Martha: Yes, well what do you do?
Kermit: Well, You know, you know, if the environment goes away… well, the environment is still going to be there, it’s us who will go away, and that’s kind of creepy! So we have to take care of things.
Martha: Yeah…
Kermit: By the way, when I heard we were going to have brownies on the Martha Stewart Show I thought of something completely different.
Martha: He thought… he thought they were going to be edible brownies! You’re not going to have any of these brownies for desert!
Kermit: No, ma’am. No ma’am.
Martha: No, these are the cutest little Brownies you ever did see! Aren’t they great?
Kermit: Hi girls! Yes, they are!
Martha: Say hi to Kermit, girls!
Kermit: Sorry, I didn’t mean to change the subject. There….
Martha: <laughs>
Kermit: <laughs> Can I… can I? There are all sorts of things that anyone can do…
Martha: Okay.
Kermit: …even little people, like you. For instance, for instance you can turn off the water when you brush your teeth, or alternatively, you could be like me and not have any teeth.
Martha: Uh huh. <laughs>
Kermit: You can use both sides of a piece of paper when you draw, you know, before you throw it away or something. And you could probably recycle that piece of paper too. Although, one important fact, never sign any piece of paper with the words ‘matrimony’ and pig’ on the same page.
<big laugh from audience>
Martha: See? Okay. Remember that!
Kermit: Right. Right. There are some other things that it’s never too young to learn. You can turn off the TV and the lights when you leave a room.
Martha: You talk a lot! And you’re full of sensible information!
Kermit: Well, I just Listen, I try… I try to get it out there in time. I know we only have limited time, Martha.
Martha: Well, I know, keep going! Okay, what, what?
Kermit: So, I said you can turn off the lights and the TV?
Martha: Yes. How many of you kids turn off the lights and TV when you leave the room?
<hands raised>
Kermit:That’s right. Now if you’re-
Martha: Good!
Kermit: That’s right. That’s wonderful! Now, if you’re a Neilson family, please don’t turn off this show, just the lights.
Martha: Now what about at night? Do you sleep with lights on or off?
Kids: Off!
Kermit: Right, Right!
Martha: That’s good! Now Kermit is going to take some questions from the wonderful group of kids we have in the audience.
Kermit: Oh, I’d be happy to. Yes, ask Kermit.
Martha: Okay, who has a question? Oh, good!
Kid: Kermit…
Kermit: Yes! Yes?
Kid: Is…<silence>
Kermit: Yeah? I think I can answer that!
Martha: Question! I think she forgot.
Kid: Kermit, where do you live?
Kermit: Well! That’s a great question! And ties right in with our theme, oddly enough. I live in the swamp. Do all of you know what a swamp is? It’s sort of like a lake or a river, only much more muddy, and uh…
Martha: Mud and grasses.
Kermit: That’s right.
Martha: It’s not a scary swamp though.
Kermit: No, no.
Martha: You live in a friendly swamp.
Kermit: Couple of crocodiles that are a little scary, but mostly nice.
Martha: Oh, really! We have another question.
Kid: Do you have friends?
Kermit: I do! I have friends! And many of my friends… yes, frogs have very large families. I have a couple of thousand brothers and sisters.
Martha: Whoo!
Kermit: Yes!
Martha: Here’s another question, Kermit.
Kermit: Yes?
<silence>
Martha: No? What about you? Come on!
Kid: Kermit, do you have any brothers or sisters that live in the swamp with you?
Kermit: That’s right! Most of them are still there. You know it takes us about three weeks just to hang up our coats at Christmas.
Martha: Three whole weeks!
Kermit: Yes, ma’am.
Martha: And one more question.
Kid: Kermit, how do you clean your swamp?
Kermit: Well, that’s a good question. You know, we all have to take care of the place where we live, right?
Martha: Yes.
Kermit: So I do all that I can, but being low on the food chain like I am, it’s pretty important for me to look to all you human people to do it for me. And a good point is those pesticides you were looking at earlier. You know, some of those natural things will help keep us frogs-
Martha: And you don’t want those fertilizers coming into your swamp.
Kermit: No ma’am. We don’t want (something), so to speak.
<laughs>
Martha: We have… wonderful questions, thank you very much. Thank you for coming today.
Kermit: Yes, thank you!
Martha: Kermit is going to treat us to a special song, right after this. So stay tuned!
Kermit: Yes!
<,commercial>
Martha: And now performing a wonderful song, “Being Green”… here again, Kermit the Frog!
Kermit: Thank you, Martha! Thank you!
Kermit: It’s not that easy being green,
Have to spend each day the colour of the leaves,
And think I could be nicer, being red, or yellow… or maybe turquoise…
Or something much more colourful like that!
It’s not that easy being green…
Seems you blend in with so many other ordinary things.
And people tend to pass you over 'cause you're not standing out like flashy sparkles in the water- or stars in the sky.
But green's the color of Spring, (you know?)
And green can be cool and friendly-like.
And green can be big like an ocean, or important like a mountain, or tall like a tree.
(You guys know what I’m singing? Yeah!)
When green is all there is to be
It could make you wonder why, but why wonder?
(Why wonder, Brownies?)
Cause I am green and it'll do fine, it's beautiful, don’t you think?
And I think it's what I want to be.
You guys like green? Yeah, me too! It goes well with brown, ha ha! Yeah. Thank you, thank you!
Martha: Kermit and I will be right back, thank you Kermit!
Kermit: Oh, you’re welcome. Thank you! That was wonderful!
<commercial>
Martha: Well, Kermit, we have one last question for you!
Kermit: Oh yeah?
Martha: How’s Miss Piggy? I haven’t seen her in a long time!
<audience laughs>
Kermit: Ooh! Well, that’s a rather sensitive question, but, uh…Well, she’s uh… we’re not in New York together but she is here. Although, I think she’s headed for the baseball playoffs.
Martha: Oh, yeah. Last night it got rained out.
Kermit: That’s right. Well, she heard they were playing on a diamond. So you know how it is. She’s there, she’s there.
<laughs>
Martha: That’s a feeble joke!
Kermit: It’s an old one. It’s a Fozzie Bear joke.
Martha: Oh, Kermit.
Kermit: He recycles… jokes.
<laughs>
Martha: So one last tip for everybody about being green, going green?
Kermit: Well…
Martha: For all these little kids, especially for the kids.
Kermit: You know, kids, things change in a hurry these days. You don’t know it yet, but thirty years ago we didn’t have cell phones and computers and now the one you bought last week is obsolete! You just have to, you just have to remember what’s important, and keeping this world green is important, you know…. And get a cell phone too, ‘cause you’ll want to call each other about it.
Martha: Well, thanks to Kermit and all or our guests today. This was a really fun show. Be sure to join us tomorrow when the talented Clay Aiken of American Idol… he’s going to be here! He’s going to tell us one of his favorite family recipes… a hot pineapple salad. And he’s going to perform a song from his new album.
Kermit: Wonderful!
Martha: Do you know Clay?
Kermit: I certainly do.
Martha: Yeah, I thought you did!
Kermit: I live with his brother, mud.
Martha: You- <laughs> We’re also wrapping up our week long series about being green with an interview with Laurie David, the producer of An Inconvenient Truth. A remarkable film that you know about, Kermit. You know about everything.
Kermit: Well, I try.
Martha: You are very intelligent.
Kermit: I try to stay informed.
Martha: You’re great about global warming.
Kermit: Oh, hey, listen… you know, us frogs go dormant when it freezes… we freeze up like… <freezes>
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