Kermie's Girl (ushy-gushy fanfic)

The Count

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Oh! Chapter 100! You did it, you went and did it, you hit the century mark!
And has someone been listening to Alanis Morisette's hits again for title inspiration?
Mmm, methinks there's a reference to another wonderful ongoing fic at the end of that first segment with Scooter and Sara, recognizable to those of us who've been reading from the start, and I think a certain frog-lover (or is that go-fer-lover?) from SC will get a thrill out of it.
Then we have Scribbler scrounging around the alley and Seymour sitting in the luxurious lobby, both with their eyes on a predatory prize of prime pork. Nice cameo by the hecklers.
Exciting to think that the NY hubbub's about to start.

And because I don't think I presented you with this when you reached the thousand post mark...
*Hands Ru her own MC Kermit The Frog badge with her name in silver lettering on the collar, and gives her three boxes with similar badges for her HV roomies who probably miss her—or are more likely still on tour appearing everywhere promoting the heck out of their new movie to be released in 5, 5 daunting days!
Great to have this fic still going strong. Thanks for it all, hope more to be posted when it can.
 

bouncingbabyfig

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Ooooh! Me love, yet me cry!:cry: Very nice Rue! I love how we get to see different sides of the characters, nice touch. BTW, Mabel reminds me of my own aunt (she's not really an aunt, she's a friend of the family.)who has type 1 diabeties, but she loves sweets! Hehe.:smile: Also, may I call you Aunty Rue? I don't have very many aunts... they don't act like I'm their niece. But I would love to have you be part of my adopted family!:big_grin:
 

Misskermie

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Oh, wow Ru! I love how Piggy's love and concern was when she read Kermit's reply. And when Scooter was telling Sara that Kermit had seemed distracted, I just thought, Piggy go back to him!!! Tee Hee! Good job!
 

Ruahnna

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Chapter 101: Making an Entrance
(Sorry--this post is looonnnggg.)

The sit-down meeting with her new boss had gone wonderfully. Although they had talked a few times on the phone, most of their official communication had come through Marty. Until today, Lawrence “Larry” Lowry had simply been a voice on the phone, although Piggy had done her research and knew about his ascendency on the Broadway scene, his well-touted creative vision and his maverick attitude, they had actually met for the first time today.
He had been suitably awed, but not quite overawed. He had been producing musicals—make that successful musicals—on Broadway long enough to know how to hold his own. Piggy had actually enjoyed seeing a little of the iron fist beneath the well-manicured hand, because it probably indicated that he could hold his own against all comers—even lovely and charming divas. Despite the fact that she had promised herself that she would not think of Kermit—she would think of the task ahead with single-minded dedication—Piggy could not help but smile when she thought of Kermit’s version of same. When Piggy had started to work with Kermit, she had assumed that she would be able to cadge and cajole and coo her way around him like she had with other directors. But while he had been suitably stunned by her talent and sex appeal, he had not been a pushover—not that she hadn’t tried. He had held fast to his budget constraints and his sanity while chaos reigned around him, and she had been both confounded by and impressed with his ability to enjoy her flirtatious attention—sometimes enormously—and still say “No” to her. It was a novel experience—and one they had both enjoyed. There were times that Piggy suspected that he had simply said “no” so that she would try harder. Sometimes she did—sometimes she didn’t, so it was a risk he employed judiciously.
After the formalities—and the first sit-down was formal and decorative and mostly useless—Piggy went to change into rehearsal clothes. Nobody said the “A-word,” because the part was already hers, but Piggy was actually eager to prove her mettle, and she knew she would have to do it in front of a cast and crew that had still not made up their mind about her talent, although some of them had probably already made up their mind about her. The thought made her press her lips together in annoyance, but it also steeled her resolve. They were going to talk about her—they were undoubtedly already talking about her—let them. Her personal life and her talent were two different things—at least, they were here, in New York, without her beloved frog but she would show them. She could do this. Kermit had said so.

“You gonna call her?” Scooter asked, putting a hand on Kermit’s arm. Kermit had been razor-focused all morning, but as the time approached for Piggy’s appointment, he had become increasingly restive. Lately, Scooter had felt a little like a first-class jerk for having to be the one to drag Kermit back on track and try to keep this unwieldy vehicle in the road, but he knew that it was part of the job. So he had been the hard-case, and pushed when it was necessary. But Scooter was also Kermit’s friend, and when he patted his friend and boss on his wiry green arm he felt the tension in Kermit’s frame.
“No,” said Kermit firmly. “She—I might pull her off-center. She’ll…she’ll be fine, and she’ll call me after.” He put a hand on Scooter’s shoulder. “Thanks for asking.”
“Actually, I think we should take a little break,” said Scooter. “I’m going to get a soda and a twinkie—don’t tell Sara—and you can take a worry break.”
Kermit smiled and sighed. “Thanks. I’ll take you up on that. I know I can’t help her, but I just want to be thinking about her, you know? Sending good thoughts her way.”
“Send some for me, too,” said Scooter, and went toward the vending machines.

Piggy walked onto the stage, and the silence that followed in her wake was deafening. Small groups of dancers and backstage technicians froze in mid-conversation to watch her go past. Breathe, she told herself determinedly. Just keep breathing.
She had dressed carefully for the this day in peach-colored footless tights with wide black-lace cuffs that accented the rounded musculature of her legs. A fringed crocheted poncho hung diagonally over the tights, obscuring what lay beneath but the little tendrils of fringe swung sinuously as she moved. Her pert little pony-tail bobbed energetically as she clicked across the stage in her high-heeled character shoes. She kept her chin high and her snout turned regally toward the balcony seats as she walked toward center stage. When she was directly in the circle of light, she stopped. Both hands moved beneath the poncho in unison, pulling the soft, silky garment over her face. Mussing her hair wasn’t an issue, for she reached next and pulled the little pony-tail free, letting her hair fall in soft, tousled waves to her shoulders. Underneath the poncho was a black velvet leotard that left little to the imagination. The low, scalloped neckline did nice things for her creamy shoulders and the substantial swell of her bosom. Behind her, there was dead silence. Piggy fought the urge to giggle--or faint.
She struck a pose without appearing to do so, and gave a dazzling smile toward the source of the spotlight.
“Helloooo, Lawrence,” she called sweetly. “Moi is ready!”
“Wonderful!” came a disembodied voice. “Cue the piano player.”
Piggy turned the brilliant smile toward the orchestra pit. She couldn’t actually see the pianist, but she nodded in his general direction and waited for the music to start. While the first tinkly strains of the music washed over her, she put her satin-gloved hand on her hip, stuck her hip and her chin out pugnaciously, and waited for her cue.
“There are worse things I could do…than go with a boy…or two….” She cut her eyes in the general direction of the cast and crew members lining up behind her. “Even though the neighborhood thinks I’m trashy and no good….” She pursed her lips and twitched her shoulder in a microscopic shrug. “I suppose it could be true…but there are worse things I could do.”
The music swelled, and Piggy, aware that she had the eye of every male performer in the theater turned and walked slowly past them, looking them up and down speculatively. “I could flirt with all the guys,” she crooned. “Smile at them and bat my eyes….” She turned and batted her eyes, making a good-looking brown-eyed blond grin reflexively and take a step forward. Suddenly, another of the young men stepped out to meet her, reaching to put an arm around her waist as though they were going to slow-dance, just in time for her to sing, “Press against them when we dance, let them think they have a chance—“ She smiled up at her erstwhile partner, lazily amused—amazing timing, good instincts—then put her gloved hand on his chest and shoved hard, dismissing him decisively. “Then refuse to see it through,” she sang dryly, then looked back at the long row of hopeful partners, her eyes raking over them. “That’s a thing I’d never do.”
She faced the audience, which is to say, the faceless voice for whom she was performing and stretched her arms out as though in open entreaty. “I could stay home every night, wait around for Mr. Right!” Her voice made a sneer out of Mr. Right, for which she felt a tinge of guilt. Kermit had certainly been right for her—once he’d realized it. “Take cold showers every day,” she sang, shuddering slightly, “and throw my life away…on a dream that won’t come true.”
Behind her, the cast was silent and still. Piggy wondered if any of them—if all of them—believed what they’d read about her in the tabloids—that she was heartless, faithless, maybe even cruel to the frog who loved her. Her eyes closed for a moment, and when she opened them they were bright with a sheen of tears, but her voice tightened down to a growl.
“I could hurt someone like me,” she sang, her expression hard, “out of spite or jealousy. I don’t steal! And I don’t lie! But I can feel and I can cry—a fact I’ll bet you never knew….”
She shifted, planting her feet under her and crossing her arms across her chest. The act made her look tough and vulnerable at the same time. “But to cry in front of…you…well, that’s the worst thing I could do….”
She held the note until the piano player trailed off. She couldn’t see his lip curl up in a half-smile, but she heard him say, “Nice,” and looked down at the floor to hide her expression.
Behind her, there was absolute silence for almost a full minute, then a murmur of sound behind her that seemed to swell with each passing second. Piggy stood perfectly still, eyes downcast bashfully as she waited for some silent signal. When it came, she turned her face up to the spotlight again. Her blue eyes were very round.
“Was that…okay?” she asked, with just the perfect touch of wistfulness.
There was the sound of solitary clapping, then the disembodied voice called out.
“Beautiful, Piggy. That was just swell.”
Piggy looked down as though hiding a demure blush. Whether she was actually blushing, only Piggy knew for sure. After a moment, she turned her face back up and smiled again.
“Vous are too kind!” she called, and batted her eyelashes twice in quick succession. “Is there anything else you’d like me to do?”
The question hung in the air for a minute, then the murmur rose up behind her again.
The disembodied voice floated over the murmur.
“Not right now,” it said dryly. “Take five, Miss Piggy, and then come back and we’ll run Tell Me More.”
“Thank vous!” Piggy called. She turned and startled, looking at all the staring faces as though becoming aware of them for the first time.
“Oh!” she said. “Hello everybodeeee!”
A few hands raised in greeting; a few eyebrows rose in admiration. Piggy stepped forward hesitantly, her gloved hand outstretched.
“I’m Piggy,” she said. Her eyes and her handshake were firm. Her voice was appealingly soft. “It’s so nice to meet you.”


Gradually, the crowd surged toward her, eventually surrounding her small pink form. Nobody said it, but everybody thought the same thing. The pig sure knew how to make an entrance.

Piggy was stretching, sitting spread-legged on the floor and leaning forward to press her torso to the ground—first with her toes flexed, then with her toes pointed. A pair of well-muscled and finely-haired calves stopped about a foot from her snout, but she waited the full ten-count before easing back up into a sitting position. She looked up, making her blue eyes wide and guileless-looking.
It was the young man who had stepped out to dance with her. He wore sweat pants that looked like they’d been cut off with dull scissors about knee level and…not much else. The powder-blue tee he’d worn earlier was draped casually around his neck.
“Hey,” he said, and she fought the quirk of her mouth. Not exactly a Miss Manners greeting, she thought, but he sounded friendly enough.
“Hello,” she returned, and gave him a polite smile. Piggy had been in theater a long time, and she was too experienced to look hopeful or even friendly until she knew more. No one had been rude to her, but it was as though there was an invisible bubble between her and the rest of the cast. They had not made up their mind about anything but her talent, yet.
He seemed to be fighting the quirk of his own mouth. “That was…that was quite a performance,” he said, and Piggy heard him on both levels. He was talking about the song, but he was also talking about what she had done—how she had staged her entrance for just the right effect. She was on the verge of acting like she didn’t understand the other meaning—had even opened her mouth to say that (with just the right hint of surprise and pleasure)—but some sixth sense, some instinct stilled her pat response.
“Thanks,” she said simply, her voice and eyes frank.
It was the right response. The young man let the smile purse his lips, but before he could say anything else, Piggy launched her own offensive.
“What part did you like the best?”
That got an out-and-out smile out of him. “Honestly?”
“Unless you’d rather lie….”
“Okay—the part where you completely blew me off. That was…epic. I haven’t been snubbed like that in a long time.” He jerked his head back toward backstage, indicating the other actors. “They got a charge out of it for sure.”
It was Piggy’s turn to purse her lips and fight not to smile.
“I’m a very giving person,” she said finally, deadpan.
He gave a snort, but flopped down in front of her like a big, nosy dog. “I’m your Kenickie,” he said, holding out his hand. “My name’s Rory.”
Piggy offered the cool satin of her hand. “Piggy.”
Rory shook her hand, not doing anything to dispel the puppyish image.
“I know,” he said breezily. “Everybody knows. So…you finally dumped the frog and made it to Broadway.”
Rory did not know then how close he came to being knocked into next week, but Piggy gritted her teeth and decided that he was being deliberately offensive to try to get a reaction out of her.
“And I suppose you’re here because they don’t need any more wolf cubs for the Twilight movies,” she shot back.
That time he didn’t stop the smile from spreading over his face. “Ouch,” he said sourly. “I’m older than I look.” But he put his shirt back on over his trim, washboard stomach.
“Thank goodness for that,” Piggy murmured, but she wasn’t obnoxious about it.
Having sparred with Piggy and come out scratched and dented a little, Rory gave up being a jerk and opted for professionalism.
“We have to work together,” he said earnestly. “Want to run some of our dance moves when you’re all stretched out?” He hesitated. “I think I’m a little taller than your regular partner.”
Piggy looked up, offered her hand and allowed him to haul her to her feet. She looked up at him, assessingly. “Yeah,” she said. “You are.” Modestly, she tugged down the back of her leotard. “Let me get a swig of water and you’re on.”

It was different, dancing so much with someone who was not Kermit. But Rory proved an enthusiastic and athletic dancer, and he squired her around the stage with confidence.
“You’re a little shorter than my last partner,” he volunteered at some point. “But a little….” He hesitated, looking her over in a way that would have made her blush if she wasn’t already flushed from exertion. “Curvier,” he said at last.
Piggy decided to take it as a compliment. “Thanks,” she said airily. “Let me know if you need any help on the lifts.”
As if to prove his fitness for the job, Rory’s next lift made Piggy inhale sharply, but he set her down as lightly as a feather, grinning at her startled expression.
“Thank you,” she said automatically. “I—you’re good.”
“Thanks,” he said, twirling her. “I going to have to be, aren’t I? To keep you from running all over me on stage.”
Piggy shot him a quick look. There was genuine concern in his eyes. He was really worried about her showing him up.
“Look,” she said, the next time they were facing each other. “Moi is here to do a job—same as you.”
Rory snorted. “Really? I doubt that.”
There was a twist, a flip and Piggy overshot her mark. Rory caught her like she weighed nothing at all, pulling her back into the rhythm of the dance. Piggy made a mental note to stop assuming where the hands would be waiting for her. This was new. This was different. She had a new dance partner and a new role to play.
“Well, don’t,” she snapped. “What good would it do Moi to make you look bad?”
Rory hesitated, but his arms went on with the motions. “You—it would make you look better by comparison,” he offered.
This time, after the twist and flip she snapped into his arms precisely where he needed her to be. “Moi does not intend to look better by comparison,” Piggy snapped. “I intend to look pretty darn impressive whether you’re getting the job done or not!”
“I’m getting the job done!” Rory shot back. “I know my part. I’m not some celebrity diva who doesn’t know backstage left from center stage.”
“Trust me,” Piggy growled. “I know where center stage is!”
At some point, Piggy realized that she was no longer having to think about Rory being taller than Kermit, or his lifts being higher. She was so in-the-moment with him, arguing with him, that her body had known what to do without conscious attention. Arguing while dancing was something that Piggy knew all about—she had been arguing and dancing with Kermit for a long, long time. Thinking about Kermit—whom she missed so much it hurt—made her stop in her tracks and wrench free.
“Look Mister thinks-he-knows-me—Moi is not some celebrity flash in the pan. I can sing. I can dance. I look amazing in a leotard. I have done action movies, horror movies, comedy and Shakespeare. Moi is an actress, a legitimate, card-carrying member of the Stage Actors Guild and the Actors Equity Association. I have done movies, television, radio and live theater since before you were…out of high school!”
Rory stood blinking at her, surprised by her outburst. “I—no way,” he said at last. “You are waaaay too young for that.”
For a moment, Piggy considered hi-yaing him into the next theater—two blocks away!—but his lop-sided smile made her think of Kermit…and he thought she looked too young for her accomplishments. The kid must have a self-preservation instinct that ran deep.
“Look,” said Piggy growled. “You’re stuck with me. I’m stuck with you. You can dance—fine! Let’s hope you can act, because when we get out there on the stage, ducky, Moi is bringing it. If you don’t have the chutzpah to keep up then…find it,” she shouted. “I’m here to be the best Betty Rizzo Grease has ever seen and I am not going to let some cocky, arrogant—“
“Good-looking,” Rory said, grinning at her.
Average-looking punk mess it up for Moi! Do you understand me?”
His eyes were sheepish, his demeanor apologetic. “Yes ma’am,” he murmured, trying not to smile. In spite of her ire, Piggy found she was trying not to smile back.
“Good! Now get your gluteus maximus in gear and let’s nail this thing!”

Later, when Piggy went for water, a leggy blonde sidled up to Rory. Everyone had heard the shouting, but everyone had seen the dancing, too. The frankly interested looks now were even more intense, and more puzzled.
“How’s it going, Rory,” she said. “Everything…okay?”
“What? Oh—yeah. Thanks, Kristen,” Rory said, looking after Piggy with a dreamy, thoughtful expression on his face. “Everything’s…wonderful. Just wonderful.”
 

newsmanfan

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Wow. Looks like Piggy's found a Fistful of Men! But I have faith in her. She can take it...she can bring it!, whether that's against a nefarious rich lech, a scurrilous tabloidist, or a jealous male diva! That's soooome pig!

VERY realistic depiction of how catty actors can be -- many folks don't realize they can be as bad or worse than the cattiest, most narcissistic diva out there. We'll see if Rory grows a heart to go with his pecs, and works professionally.

LOVE Statler and Waldorf in a cameo! (Uh...which hotel are they in? The Statler, the Waldorf-Astoria, or...?) Love that Piggy gave everyone the slip, even unwittingly! Your bits with Scooter and Sara are touching and believable (hey, ONLY a Muppet would have the stamina for...er, all that...), and Kermit on his own is grimly determined and wonderfully loyal. Good job all around!

Eager to see how Broadway plays out! And congrats on over 100 chapters! Woo hoo!
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bouncingbabyfig

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Rue said: “And I suppose you’re here because they don’t need any more wolf cubs for the Twilight movies,” she shot back.
Hehe. This really made my day, cuz I saw Breaking Dawn last night, ONLY 'cause my mom had free tickets! Anyhoo, very nice Ru, me sa like. I'm very curious of this Rory. He can't be from Scribbler, he wants her for himself, same as Seymore Strathers(Is that his name?) Maybe from Scribbler's boss? Curioser and Curioser.
:confused:
~You laugh at me because I'm different, I laugh at you because you're all the same.
-bbf
(Me)
Thanks for the chapter Ru! Get some rest and have fun tonight!!:smile:
Oh! and congrats on the 100 chapter milestone!!!
 

Ruahnna

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Chapter 102: Kaleidoscope

Piggy wanted several things, and she wanted them all now. She wanted a hot bath, she wanted something hot to eat, she wanted to go home and, well…. The first three were a possibility, once she got back to the hotel, but the last one—well, she wasn’t going to think about it. The rest of the afternoon had been…busy. Although they had gotten off to a (loud and) rocky start, Rory proved a quick study, and he gave her something substantive to play off of. Although they hadn’t run any of their more important scenes together in front of the whole cast, they had found themselves a quiet-ish corner backstage and worked on their back-and-forth. Piggy was sure they could work together, but not yet sure about whether or not they would end up friends. Fine. She had friends—back home.
The ensemble pieces had gone well, although there was that awful feeling of being the only one who didn’t get the memo, but Rory proved helpful there as well, steering her subtly until she knew precisely where her marks were among the swirl of dancers. Her other solo (with back-up from the Pink Ladies) had been well-received, but while the looks were admiring and the other actresses generous with the stage, there had been none of the casual horsing around she was used to. When the music stopped or the scene ended, it was as though a switch had been thrown and Piggy found herself back in her bubble, on the outside looking in.
She didn’t know what to think about it, and she was thinking about what to say about it to Kermit when she called him. She wanted to hear his voice, and wished he had been here to offer tips and suggestions. The irony of it made her smile—she, who had never admitted to wanting Kermit’s direction, would now have given anything for his knowing, bulbous eye on the day’s rehearsal. He would have known what to say to make everything better.
Piggy made a face as she gathered up her things. Drat! She had meant to call her friend’s colleague last night to make some arrangements about an apartment, or at least get that ball rolling, and she did not want to call Kermit and admit that she had not done it yet. In spite of her fatigue and the headache that was forming between her temples, Piggy smiled. Dear Kermit. He was far, far away, but he could still bully her into doing what she ought to do. She pulled out her phone and looked for the number she’d been given by her friend, realizing after several moments of fruitless searching that she had not put it into her phone yet. That meant it was still in her purse, or laying on the nightstand at the hotel. Drat. She’d have to do it when she got back, which meant that she could not call Kermit until she got back until the hotel. Piggy wrapped her coat more firmly about her, slung her duffle over her shoulder and walked out the theatre door.
It was funny. At night, with the lights blazing, the sidewalk full of excited audience members and histrionic scalpers and street vendors and paparazzi, Broadway had a certain cache, a certain flair. In the cold, grey daytime, it looked a little dingy and unwelcoming. Piggy clutched her coat tighter around her. In California, it was still warm and sunny, but New York in February was bitterly cold. She might have to buy one of those cute little knitted caps—maybe several in different colors—and at least one in her signature purple…. She wondered if there was anywhere here she could buy one “off-the-rack” which would have the appropriate, um, fit. So few haberdasheries stocked the shelves with samples with earholes…. Piggy started to hail a cab, but decided that a quick look in the shop on the corner wouldn’t do any harm…. She turned abruptly toward the corner and felt a chill crawl up her spine. Someone was watching her.
Since she had been blind-sided in the causeway between theaters in Las Vegas, and even more since Fleet’s surprise “drop-in” visit at the photo shoot, Piggy had tried to be more aware of her surroundings. She was calm. She was not an alarmist. But she had definitely seen someone duck back into the alley up ahead. For a moment, Piggy hesitated, patting her pockets as though checking for something while her brain raced, deciding what to do next. But Piggy’s brain didn’t actually make the decision—her gut did. She put her hand in her coat pocket and let her body reflect the relief of a person who has found what they are looking for—and she kept on walking toward the corner.
Kermit would hate this, she knew. He would wave his arms about his head and ask her what the heck she thought she was doing. Marty would hate this. He would lecture her on protecting her assets and not doing anything rash. Jimmy’s disapproving face joined Kermit’s and Marty’s in her head, but Piggy pressed her lips together and kept moving. There was nothing about her body language that would show she was nervous or upset—nothing that would clue in her would-be stalker that she had seen him, but her entire body was focused on that fleeting image…that…fleeting image…that fleeting image of a gray, shaggy head, the flash of a trench coat, that fleeting image of…Fleet.
Piggy stopped in her tracks, and her heart began to race. If a squad of street thugs had materialized ten feet in front of her, she could not have been more frightened. What did he want? He had said he wanted her to remember who she was, but what did that mean? Piggy’s mind raced frantically, searching for some sort of answer that made sense. When they had known each other, before, she had been young—young and naïve. Rory thought she still looked young, but Piggy was no longer naïve, was no longer helplessly hoping for her future to come to her. In a way, she supposed she had been dependent on him—needing his encouragement and praise. She was more experienced now, more sure of herself. Did Fleet want her to go back to her old, insecure self?
Piggy thought about that, now trying to decide whether to walk toward the corner or return to the theater. She thought about arriving back inside the theater doors, breathless and agitated in front of the rest of the cast-members, and immediately rejected that idea. The only way out was to go forward, to walk past that alley, to face the past if it came out to confront her. Piggy shoved her satin-gloved hands down into her coat pockets and kept walking. She was almost past the alley when she turned suddenly and looked into the dark alleyway.
“I know you’re there,” Piggy called, “but Moi is not afraid of you!” I’m afraid of me, she realized, even as her eyes adjusted to the dimness. There was no one in the alley. She was well and truly alone.

Cliffhanger Active Member
If you still want me, I’m coming to see you! Things are slow here. The Queen is gone, the King is up to his little green gills in work. Pepper and his lady are taking a stay-cation and Rowlf doing great on the road. I got a gig hosting a beauty pageant next month on the Food Network—Miss Cupcake—but I got nothing till then. Say the word and I’m yours.

Hot Tamolé New Member
Of course I still want you! Get your purple tattooed butt down here and catch me up on all the news. LMK if you need someone to pick you up from the airport, or are you driving?
Cliffhanger Active Member
I’m flying. A pick-up would be nice. Uh…how’d you know about the, uh….

Hot Tamolé New Member
I got my sources. Send me your flight details by secure channels, ‘kay? See you soon!

“So that’s 24 soft tacos, 15—make that 16—taquitos, a quart of hot sauce and a jar of marshmallow crème. That about it?”
“Don’t forget the root beer,” Gonzo insisted. “I don’t have anything in the house to mix my chocolate milk with.”
“Root beer for chocolate milk—right,” Rizzo said, making a mark on his notepad. “Anything else? Anything I’m forgetting?”
“Womens,” said Pepe sourly. “We are lacking in the womens department.”
“I didn’t forget them,” Rizzo snapped back. “They’re forgetting me. And I’m not digging up a date for you anyway.”
Pepe sighed and trudge off, muttering something in Spanish. When he had gone, Rizzo looked at Gonzo.
“Camilla’s not coming either?”
“I didn’t ask her,” Gonzo admitted, sighing. “She’d just say ‘no’ and then I’d feel bad, and then she’d feel bad for making me feel bad, and then I’d feel bad for making her feel bad for making—“
“Whoa there, buddy—got it. Sorry. Just asking.”
“Speaking of asking—what happened with you and Gloria Jean?”
Rizzo shrugged and grinned. “What happens in Vegas apparently does stay in Vegas.”
“Sorry, chum.”
“No, no—it’s okay. She’s a sweet kid. Nice gal. No hard feelings. Just…just…nothing. She’s working a show at one of those singing restaurants now—and I think Laura May might end up there, too.”
“They hiring?” Gonzo asked, sounding interested.
Rizzo gave him a look. “Sorry, buddy—you don’t have the legs for it.”
Gonzo looked down at his blue, furry, knobby-kneed legs. “What’s wrong with my legs?” he demanded.
“Going for tacos!” Rizzo called, and made his escape.

“Hello Kermie! Kissy kissy!” Piggy said. She made herself sound enthusiastic.
“Oh—hi, Piggy! How was your first day at rehearsals?”
“I bought a new hat, mon chere,” Piggy said. “One of those cute little knit things. It is adorable on Moi,” she said.
“I’ll bet,” said Kermit. “I can’t wait to see it when I come up there. What was it like at the theater—was everybody nice?”
“It is a beautiful theater,” Piggy gushed. “The dressing rooms are very nice.” It was not what Kermit had asked, but he didn’t seem to notice.
“What about Mr. Lowry? Did you sit down with him today?” Kermit had been Piggy’s boss for a long time, and now she was working for someone else. He wondered how this was going to go. He knew how it had gone with them, with her finagling what she wanted with a few judicious bats of those big blue eyes and a mean left hook, but he reminded himself firmly that Piggy was professional and would never do something like that…with anyone else.
“But of course, Mon Capitan,” Piggy said. “He was very professional.” Piggy knew what Kermit wanted to hear. “He is charming, but not as charming as vous.”
Piggy,” Kermit said, embarrassed at being so transparent, but he sounded pleased. “Well, Marty said he’s a real wizard on Broadway. I’m sure you’re in good, er, hands.” That had not come out right, and Kermit frowned into the phone. “What about your cast mates? Did you get to meet everyone?”
“The actor who is playing Kenickie is a very good dancer. We practiced our sets today. Oh—and I got to do my solo for everyone.”
“Well, I bet that sure wowed them!” Kermit said, and Piggy could feel him trying to be enthusiastic.
“They were speechless,” Piggy said. They barely spoke to me at all.
“I’ll bet. Have you had any luck—?”
“Moi is waiting for a callback from the real estate agent,” Piggy said. Her gloved fingers were crossed and she felt a twinge of guilt. She was going to call the agent as soon as she got done talking with Kermit, so that counted, didn’t it?
“Oh, good. Glad to hear you got that going. Is the hotel nice?”
“Very nice, Kermie. I’m going to order room service in a moment or two and look over my notes from today. Will you call me before you go to bed?”
“You got it, Piggy. I’ll give you a call before I go to bed—how’s that?”
“Perfect,” Piggy said, but they both knew that was a lie. Perfect was him being here to slide beneath the sheets with her, or take her to the theater tomorrow. But they were both actors, and good at pretending.
“Love you, Sweetie!” Piggy cried. “Kissy, kissy!”
“Bye, Piggy—talk to you tonight!”
Piggy hung up and stared at the phone, relieved at the success of her duplicity. She could not know it, but on the other coast, Kermit sat staring at his own phone, wondering about the false gaiety in her voice. He hoped she wasn't worrying about him. He was missing something, he was sure. He was missing something besides Piggy.

“Oh, look Beakie! It’s a postcard from Shantilla!” Beaker peered over his colleague’s shoulder and looked at the elegant writing. “Hmmm. She says the semester is going well.”
“Mee me meep?” Beaker asked.
“Well, you know my email’s been down for a few days since the, um, unfortunate incident with my prototype for an instant hole.”
Beaker shrank back, nodding. He remembered.
“But that was very sweet of her to write.”
Beaker nudged him in the ribs. “Mee mee meep me?” he asked, and Bunsen suddenly became busy with his glasses.
“No, of course not, Beakie. We’re just friends. Oh—look at the time! It’s time for “Name that Solvent!” on MNN!”
Beaker meeped enthusiastically.
“Right,” said Honeydew. “You find the remote—I’ll get the cheese doodles!”

“Thank you. Thank you very much. I’m Rowlf—Rowlf the dog over here on keyboard and piano. Back there on bass we got Slinker, lead guitar is Malachi the Second, Dizzy on the drums and vocals and banjo by the delectable Jolalene.”
The crowd clapped politely and there were a couple of wolf whistles from a couple of wolves at the back table. Jolalene bared her teeth in what was presumably a smile and put a hand on her hip.
“And we are very happy to be here tonight,” she said in a sultry growl. “Anybody got a birthday tonight? How about an anniversary?”
One whole table of what looked to be college kids began to point at a tall, gangly fellow in their midst. “Birthday! It’s his birthday!” they chanted while he blushed and tried to hush them. A middle-aged couple in the back—a warthog and a plump little hippo—giggled and raised their hands.
Rowlf grinned, watching Jolalene work. She was great working a crowd, drawing them in with her whiskey-tenor and her stunning good looks, and the band members were good guys. Even Dizzy, who had to be watched for a wool fetish and a few other marginally unsociable habits, was a good musician and a decent card player. Rowlf was enjoying this little road trip. Pay was decent, food was diners and dives—no complaints there!—and not a poser among the band.
He did feel better after he’d talked to Kermit last night. He’d touched base with Scooter—just to get the lay of the landscape after Piggy had gone—and then called Kermit to catch him up and be caught up on the happenings at home. Like everyone else in America (and several provinces and most continents), Rowlf had seen the footage of Jimmy and Annie Sue playing with the paparazzi at the airport, although it had only taken Rowlf one look at Annie Sue’s cute little knees to know that it wasn’t Piggy. Rowlf was a great appreciator of women, and he’d known at once that those were not Piggy’s dimpled gams. Not that they weren’t worth watching, mind you, but he had worked with Piggy—and Kermit—long enough to know Piggy’s awe-inspiring figure at a glance. Kermit had been adamant that he was fine and Piggy was doing fantastic, and Rowlf heard with the long, floppy ears of friendship. Kermit was hanging in there during the first rough days, and Piggy was settling in just fine in New York.
Rowlf and the band were nowhere near New York. They were currently in the heart of Alabama—wait, maybe that was yesterday…. Rowlf thought about it a moment. They were in Georgia now, and for the next few days. The weather wasn’t all that hospitable, but it was warm here in the bar—or maybe that was just Jolalene. Rowlf grinned. All dogs were descended from wolves, but Jolalene might not be descended quite as far as he was. He was doing just fine admiring her from afar, if that could be applied to his stool at the keyboard.
The couple had been coaxed onto the stage, and the little hippo was smiling and singing into the microphone with Jolalene on the chorus of “Mama, He’s Crazy” while her husband looked on fondly. Rowlf let his paws roam the keys. Yep, yep, yep. Good to be back on the road.

Piggy had carried the room service menu all over the room with her and had yet to order anything. In her other hand, she had a notepad with the phone number her real estate friend had given her on it, but she hadn’t called that either. She stopped where she was and put the number into her phone, intending to call, but her room phone rang before she could. Piggy looked at the phone warily, wondering who had this number, and who could have gotten this number. Eventually, she walked over and picked up the phone.
“Yes?” she said simply, and did not identify herself.
“I—hello. This is Margo at the front desk. Is this Mrs. The, um, I mean, Mrs. Lee?”
So much for privacy. Scooter had had enough sense to not register her under her own name, but if the hotel couldn’t keep it straight, then word would probably leak out sooner rather than later. And that meant she needed to be gone sooner rather than later.
“This is Mrs. Lee,” she said wearily.
“Yes ma’am. I have a package here for you.”
“A delivery?” Oh, great—it was already starting. Someone had found her. If she didn’t get gone, her room would soon be so crowded with gifts and flowers and homemade love letters that she wouldn’t be able to see the furniture.
“No, ma’am. A package from the Post Office.”
Piggy stared at the phone. Who did she know who would mail her something? And know to mail it here?
“Would you like to come get it, or would you like us to send it up?”
“I’ll come get it,” Piggy said.
“Yes ma’am.” Politely, Margo waited for her to hang up. Thoughtfully, Piggy replaced the phone. Kermit had had things delivered here or, rather, he had had Scooter have things delivered. And if there was ever anyone who knew how to do things through channels or around them, it was Scooter. So it wasn’t Scooter. Ditto Marty. For a moment, she wondered if Scribbler could have….but this was pointless. She would have to go and see for herself. Piggy had come home wanting a hot shower and food and rest, but now she was too keyed up to do anything until she knew about that package. And then she was going to call that agent, and find someplace else to live. She caught up a scarf to wrap around her curls and provide a little coverage in the lobby, wondering and worrying if she should have had them send the package up instead. Ah. Too late now. Her fate was sealed.

“Look—all I’m saying is that I want to stay and help. Why won’t you let me help?” Jimmy said. He had been quietly insisting while Kermit had been quietly resisting for about 30 minutes now. Two of the most amiable, good-natured frogs on the planet were slightly less amiable and good-natured as they stared at each other.
“Because I don’t need help. I got along just fine by myself for a long time. I know you think I can’t catch my own food anymore—“
“Hey! I was joking, for goodness sake. Can’t you just lighten up?”
“Lighten up? Sure. I can lighten up,” Kermit snapped. “Can’t you just butt out?”
Jimmy snorted. “Sure—now that I’ve kissed all the girls, you’re ready to send me home!” He was trying to make his voice light, teasing, but there was an edge to it that he was certain Kermit could hear.
“What’s the matter?” Kermit said. “Did you miss one? I’m sure there’s a least one woman I’ve worked with that you haven’t been snogging lately!”
“There is,” Jimmy almost shouted. “She’s in New York. Why do you have to be such a pain, I wonder?”
Kermit put his hands on his hips. “It must run in the family.”
Huffily, they glared at each other, then Jimmy broke into a grin and put a hand on Kermit’s arm. “Hey—look at us. We’re beginning to sound like Maggie.”
“Perish the thought,” Kermit muttered, but he finally broke down and grinned.
“Look, Kermit, big bro—I don’t mind to go back home to the swamp. If you kick me out I’ll be out of these city clothes and into so good ol’ swamp water soon as you say lickety-split. But I’m afraid if I go you’re just going to wander around this big house like a ghost and work yourself to the bone. I know I’m not Piggy, but surely I’m better than nothing…?”
The plea in his voice hung there in the air for a moment, then Kermit made a scrunchy face and reached out and embraced his brother.
“You’re a lot better than nothing. Thanks for coming, Jimmy. We appreciated it. I appreciated it. You made parts of it possible and parts of it bearable. I know that you want to stay—I know Piggy probably asked you to stay—but this isn’t going to be a quick fix. The sooner I get used to being on my own for a while, the easier it will be.”
Jimmy pulled back and gave him a doubtful look. “You think?” he asked.
Kermit shrugged. “Heck—I don’t know. This is all new to me. I don’t know anything right now except I need to work my patootie off to meet these new deadlines, and I can’t get…settled until I’m actually settled. You know what I mean?”
“Sort of,” Jimmy said. “I…I just wish there was something I could do.”
“Tell Mom to send cookies,” Kermit joked, then hoped that Jimmy would take him seriously.
“I will.”
“And tell Robin I’ll send for him again soon, okay? I don’t want him to think….”
“I’ll explain it. He’s a smart kid. When you’re ready for some uncle time, call—I’ll bring him back.”
“And tell Mom not to worry, okay? And tell Dad….” Kermit stopped, thinking. “Tell Dad it’s my turn to wait on her.”
Jimmy looked at him, obviously curious, but Kermit clamped his froggy lips shut and would not say more.
“Okay, bro. Then I’m going.”
“You think you’ll be able to fly stand-by?” Kermit asked. One single frog, no luggage—it was a good bet.
But Jimmy just grinned at him. “Don’t have to,” Jimmy said. “Scooter bought my ticket this afternoon.”
They looked at each other, bulbous eye to bulbous eye. “Of course he did,” Kermit sighed. He looked at Jimmy with affection, glad to be so well known. “Safe journeys.”

Piggy took the brown-wrapped package gingerly, although it didn’t appear to be ticking, but as soon as she saw the return address, she gave a squeal of delight and hugged the package to her bosom. Mabel had sent her a care package! She pulled at the twine and wrapping eagerly, wanting to see what was inside.
Two men in the lobby honed in on that squeal. One of them would have known that sound anywhere. The other had been waiting for her.
Seymour Strathers was making his way over to the concierge desk as fast as he could through the crowded lobby and still looked dignified. This mustn’t looked to planned—in fact, it was not as planned as he would have liked—but he needed to just nonchalantly bump into her here in the Big Apple, here in the hotel where he had staked her out and the rest would come easy. She would be surprised. He would act astonished. She would be charming. He would be charmed, then ask her out for a bite to eat, maybe a show…. They would talk about the Christmas show—nothing threatening about that—and she would begin to feel comfortable with him. He would ask after Kermit solicitously, but there was no reason anymore for her to pretend to care what the frog wanted. He was still in California, and there was the whole continental United States between them. And, if Seymour had his way, he would be between them soon.
But he was not the only one who had heard her girlish squeal of delight—not the only one who would be glad for a chance encounter. Seymour made his way with difficulty around two elderly dowagers, ready to sweep down on her—and found he was, once again, second in line.
“Miss Piggy! As I live and breathe!” said Tim Curry. “I heard the big news but I had no idea you were staying here!”
Piggy looked up, her blue eyes alight with pleasure. “Timothy! Oh—mon ami! Whatever are you doing here?” Seymour stifled a groan. He would have given a month’s wages for her to greet him that warmly.
“I have just concluded a very successful interview,” Tim said with a big grin, “but I will tell you what I’d like to be doing here. I would like to be taking you out for dinner. Where’s your hubby? Go tell him I’m taking you both out for a bite. We must celebrate your wonderful opportunity on Broadway.”
Piggy’s eyes dimmed and she looked down. “Kermit couldn’t come,” she said.
“Couldn’t come? Couldn’t come? What do you mean, couldn’t come? What on earth could be more important that youon Broadway?!” Seymour gritted his teeth—he had been going to use that line!
But Piggy smiled. “Moi’s latest movie,” she said simply. “Mon Capitan is indispensable there.”
“Oh! Well, surely then he won’t object to an old pirate buddy absconding with his treasure for the evening. Will he, darling?” Tim was appealingly earnest.
Piggy giggled. Kermit had liked Tim quite a lot when they were filming, although his enthusiasm had dimmed quite a bit when there had been so many, many takes of their big kissing scene. They had quitted the movie as friends, but Kermit had not shown much enthusiasm for social get-togethers after that. Thinking this, Piggy hesitated, but the chance to talk to someone who knew her after being roundly snubbed all day was too tempting.
“I’m not really dressed,” she began, gesturing to her day clothes, but Tim gestured to his own designer jeans and silk sweater.
“You’re overdressed,” Tim said, and it was all Seymour could do not to launch himself across the room and punch him in the nose. But Piggy wasn’t offended. She giggled.
“I could get scruffier,” she teased. “Tell me we’re going someplace the paparazzi won’t follow.”
“They’d follow you to Hades and back, my dear, if they knew you were going. But they don’t. So run put on something less Fifth Avenue and more bourbon street and we’ll go grab a nosh.”
Once again, Piggy hesitated, biting her lower lip. “I—okay,” she said. “Let me go change.”
Bitterly, Seymour watched her go. He thought malicious thoughts about pirates and actors and The Rocky Horror Picture Show. And went home alone.
 

newsmanfan

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Que marvelle!

You weave such pretty webs, Ru dear! Would that I had the delicacy to do it right. :smile: Things I particularly loved:

The phrases "would have given anything for his knowing, bulbous eye"; "Piggy was...no longer helplessly hoping her future would come to her"; "We are lacking in the womens department"; "a wool fetish and other marginally unsociable habits"... Wonderful!!!

Good that Kermit picked up on the fact that he'd missed something.

Er...who exactly knows Clifford has a tattoo there?

"Name That Solvent!" Hmm...I KNEW Bill Nye didn't REALLY retire!

And TIM CURRY! wooHOO! :big_grin: "First floor, Lobby: lurking leches, doddering dowagers, and a sweet transvestite! All out!"

Primo stuff! Keep it up!
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Muppetfan44

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Wonderful chapter!! So much great stuff there- definitely glad that Piggy realized how much she needed her frog's direction even though she would never admit it with all the other muppets around. Also glad that Kermit noticed that something may be amiss with Piggy

That strathmore guy- total creep, so glad that Tim Curry was there to save the day, but he better not make a move, lol.

Love it as always and can't wait to read more!
 
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