Chapter 94: Half-Truths
“I wish I were twins,” said Piggy distractedly, opening the cupboard to look for her favorite mug.
“I wish you were twins, too,” Kermit said cheekily, watching her as she poured coffee.
Piggy snorted. “Like you could keep up,” she retorted. Kermit just grinned and inhaled the fragrant steam from his coffee.
“If I were twins, one of me could go on the shoot today and the other one could stay home with you all day.” Piggy said it like it was something that might happen, only circumstances were working against the possibility.
Kermit sighed. “Then I’d have to be twins, too,” he said. “I’ve got an unbelievably busy day today.”
Piggy sighed—elaborately, doing the best diva impression she was able to muster before breakfast. “It’s not fair,” she pouted. “In five days, I’ve got to get on some stupid airplane and go to stupid New York to be in—“
“—some stupid play on Broadway where thousands of fans will come and adore you,” Kermit finished. They had had this argument so many times he had his lines down cold.
Piggy shot him a look of annoyance. “Yes, yes,” she said, brushing Broadway away with a casual wave of her hand. Kermit was secretly amused, but did not show it. “But today I have to shoot all day, then half a day tomorrow. And you’re working every day and then we’re going to have to fight off scads of fans at the airport and not even have a proper good-bye.”
Kermit started to protest but decided to let her vent. He came around the kitchen table and put his arms around her. “Proper is over-rated,” he said, hoping to tease her out of her bad mood. But Piggy simply gave him a flashing look, kissed him fiercely and went upstairs to shower in a huff.
Kermit stood there and savored that kiss and the rest of his coffee, turning the problem over in his head. But the argument was circular, and he ended up right back where he’d started. Piggy was right—this would be easier if they were both twins.
Inspiration comes from many sources. Kermit had gotten script ideas in the shower, song ideas on the freeway and just plain ol’ ideas at lunch, in the elevator and—just at that moment—in the quiet of his own kitchen. The idea crept up on him, overtaking him by degrees. He shook his head to dislodge it. He was too busy for new ideas. He had too much on his plate to try to slide anything else onto it. Scooter would kill him. It was irresponsible. It was ridiculous. It was…possible. Just barely, maybe, but surely possible. If he…if they…if only…! Kermit shook his head. He needed a shower to clear his head and he needed to get to the studio. True, it wasn’t quite dawn yet, but time—the most precious commodity in his life (excepting the entrancing sow in the shower)—was ticking, ticking away. He started for the door, but at that precise moment, Jimmy appeared.
“Jeez,” Jimmy said, yawning hugely. “These early mornings are going to kill me.” Kermit poured him a cup of coffee and handed it to him, and Jimmy did what Kermit had done—bent his face into the aromatic steam and inhaled. “Ah—caffeine—nectar of the frogs!” He took a small sip, then a big gulp. “Mmmm,” he sighed happily. “Any of that coffee cake left over from yesterday?”
Kermit gritted his hard palate and went and got what was left of the coffee cake—about a third of it—and plunked it only a plate. “Help yourself,” he said, and waited until Jimmy sat. Jimmy was now awake enough to register Kermit’s odd behavior.
“Hey, Kerm,” he said, stifling another huge yawn. “Everything okay? You’re acting a little, er,…distracted.” He’d almost said “weird,” but had decided it was a bad idea.
Kermit sighed and sat down, rubbing the back of his neck. “Look, Jimmy,” he said without preamble. “Let me know if you think I’m crazy, but I have this idea….”
It had been a long day—a very long day, but the film was in the can and—judging from the ecstatic expressions on the faces of the photographers, they were happy with what they’d gotten. The location had been great, the weather cooperative and she had really liked the little fringed concoction she’d been wearing last today. She might keep it, although she knew it wouldn’t stand up to any actual swimming. Or sunning, for that matter.
Piggy heard a rustle and thump behind her and turned toward the noise with no predefined idea of what—exactly—she had just heard. She could not identify the noise, and if you had asked her what she expected to see she could have formulated nothing specific. But whatever she might have expected when she turned, she had not expected the sight that met her fabulous baby blues.
Fleet Scribbler stood not six feet away from her, one hand held out to her—half in defense, half in entreaty. His camera was around his neck, but he was not pointing it.
“Missy—it’s me. It’s Fleet. Don’t—don’t hit me—I’m unarmed.”
Piggy glared at him with enough venom to make him shrink away from her. “Get out!” she growled. “Get out or so help me, Moi will stomp you into a waffle with ventilation holes!” Scribbler gulped. In those stiletto heels, she could do it! She marched toward him and the panicked reporter scrambled frantically backward. Piggy reached for him, grabbing the lapels of his battered trench coat, and Scribbler gave a desperate lurch and twisted partly away, one lapel pulling loose. He raised his hands protectively over his face, knowing full well this left his midriff exposed—
“I am gonna knock you clear into next century!” Piggy growled ominously, but Scribbler’s next words stayed her hands.
“Missy—wait! Don’t! Ahhhiii—I know who he is!” Despite the edge of hysteria in his voice, the implied threat cut through Piggy’s red haze and she halted her forward charge.
“He who?” Piggy snapped. “I don’t know what you’re talking about!”
But Scribbler had seen the hesitation in her eyes, and uncertainty that followed.
“I said, I know why he’s here.”
“He who?” Piggy began, but Scribbler cut her off.
“He—Jimmy. I figured out what Kermit’s brother is doing here.”
Piggy looked frightened. Her face paled and Scribbler felt his own flush with triumph, then flush deeper with shame. That he would be proud of making her afraid! Scribbler felt like the stuff that grows on pond scum. He saw her lower lip tremble and she pressed her lips together firmly to stop it.
“What makes you think so?” she said, but it was bluster and bravado. Her grip on his lapels loosened and the upraised fist dropped without landing a punch. Scribbler wrenched free and scuttled away. There was an uneasy silence while Piggy glared at him and wondered how on earth he’d heard—if he even really knew. She said nothing, and her silence was enough. Scribbler rose from his protective crouch, but warily.
“Don’t scream or hit or—don’t hit me again, okay?” He kept one hand protectively over his nose, partially muffling his voice. “Please—I’m…I’m staying right over here.” He had moved about six feet away from her, out of range of any sudden lunges. “I just want to talk to you. That’s all. Hear me out and I won’t tell the rest of the photogs what I know.”
Piggy’s eyes widened, and she inhaled sharply. So he could be bargained with, Piggy thought dazedly, but she worried about what he might want. They stared at each other, distrustful and silent. The sound of voices nearby carried suddenly into the clearing, and Piggy started and flinched and looked over her shoulder as though frightened someone might find them together. Scribbler saw her turning BK around and around on one satin-gloved finger and gritted his teeth. Stupid frog.
“What do you want?” she said plaintively. “Just tell me and get out.”
“I just want to…talk to you. You know, like old times.”
Piggy stiffened at once, and her expressive eyes grew flat. “State your piece and hit the road before someone comes, or someone’s going to gets hurt.”
“Gosh, we wouldn’t want someone to get hurt,” Fleet muttered, his expression sour.
“Fleet!!” It had been half-growl, half-groan, but she had said his name! Scribbler’s heart gave a great leap in his chest. She hadn’t forgotten—she hadn’t forgotten all those afternoons the two of them had spent together just….
“Okay, okay,” he said. “Just two minutes and I’m gone—promise.”
“Promise?!” Piggy hissed. “What good is your word!” She darted a nervous look over her shoulder, then took a step forward. He retreated cagily, careful to keep out of reach of her right hook.
“Look who’s talking to me about keeping promises!” Scribbler snapped. The anger in his voice stopped her. There were murmurs of conversation behind her—Jimmy maybe, and Marty—and Piggy looked quickly over her shoulder again.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” she demanded. She had not actually considered screaming, but she considered it now. If she screamed, Jimmy was just on the other side of that screen and he would come running, and leap on her nemesis and probably pound him like he had Derwin…and Claude. That stayed her hand—or voice, rather—thinking about the way the scuffle had ended between Jimmy and Claude. Although Kermit had been not-so-secretly delighted, Jimmy was still beating himself up a little about that. Piggy didn’t really want to involve him in another physical confrontation. Besides, she could handle Fleet. She had always handled him before. She crossed her arms across her cleavage. “So talk,” she demanded.
It was surprisingly hard to get started. He had dreamed about this, rehearsed it a million times in his head—this sudden chance to put everything unspoken out in the open. Now that he was here, within six feet of her scantily-clad figure, he could not think what he meant to say.
“I’m glad you’re going to New York,” he said, the words coming out in a rush. “I always knew you’d make it there—I always did!—and I’m glad you’re finally getting a chance to shine on your own.”
“Moi has shined just fine where she was,” Piggy countered. Her cheeks were pink and he didn’t know if it was from suppressed wrath or from the unexpected compliment. He wanted to think the latter, but he wouldn’t have bet on it. He’d learned a long time ago that he didn’t have that kind of luck.
It was Scribbler’s turn to snort. “Oh, right. What would you be doing now if it weren’t for this job—crocheting doilies? We both know you’re too talented for that. If Broadway hadn’t come knocking at your door….
“What do you want?” Piggy said, her voice sharp. “Why are you doing this to Moi?”
“Because I want you to remember!” Fleet almost bellowed. “I want you to remember who you…who you were! I want you to remember what you used to say you wanted, what you used to say to me—“
“That was a long time ago—“
“It was practically yesterday,” he countered, angry at the thought that mere time could wash away such resolve, dissolve such passion.
“Dreams change, Fleet. People change.”
“Some people,” the unhappy reporter muttered.
“Piggy? Piggy—is someone there?” Jimmy’s voice, a little high with worry, and little dark with threat. They both heard flippersteps approaching.
Piggy turned and looked at Fleet and—oh! The tragedy in those baby blues almost sent him to his knees! “I’m fine, Jimmy,” Piggy lied. “Just talking to…to nobody. Myself. Just talking to, ha ha, myself. Moi will be right out.”
“Piggy…?” Jimmy’s voice, doubtful now. The flippersteps slowed.
“Missy?” Scribbler’s voice, gentle but urgent. “I—I’m going. I’m leaving right now.” She looked so lost he wanted to reassure her, but he didn’t think she’d take anything from him at that moment, and he was probably right.
He started up the tree and Piggy whirled and marched toward him. Both hands were clinging to the tree, and he was vulnerable and unprotected. If she hit him now—!
But Piggy merely leaned in and looked at him, her blue eyes huge, her expression grim.
“Don’t hurt him,” she said fervently. “You promised.”
And—dang it—he had. His mouth was dry, and the taste of bile was in his throat—the taste of defeat.
“I did. And I’ll keep it.” He shimmied up another two feet. “I’ll see you in New York,” he said, and disappeared just as Jimmy turned the corner.
Jimmy looked around the clearing in surprise, clearly not buying Piggy’s assertion that she’d been talking to herself. He looked at Piggy’s flushed skin and pale face, saw the nervous twisting of BK on her left hand.
“Piggy—what’s going on?”
“Nothing,” Piggy said lightly, but too quickly. “Nothing is going on. Moi just got the…the spooks. I was talking to myself.”
She looked sheepish and guilty and Jimmy bought it—hook, line and stinker. He walked over and put his slim green hand on her arm.
“Don’t blame you for having the willies,” he said with a grin. “So many things have happened I’ve got ‘em myself.” He stepped back and looked at her, still clad in her last bikini.
“Are you going home like that?” he teased. “I’m not saying the old man won’t like it, but you’ll get make-up all over the car seat….”
“Moi is changing now,” Piggy insisted. It made her think about what Fleet had said—about some people changing—and she felt her face go hot. “If you would kindly get out I could put on my regular clothes.
“You don’t have any regular clothes,” countered Jimmy, letting Piggy push him out. “But hurry up, won’t you? I’m starving!”
“You’re always starving,” she grumbled, but it was friendly. When Jimmy was gone, she looked around the little clearing carefully, then up into the leafy branches of the tree and shivered. She stepped inside the changing pavilion and shut the overlapping flap firmly. Finally alone, Piggy stopped trying to look calm and collected. She shivered as though snow were falling.
To think that Scribbler had been here who knows how long, watching the shoot, waiting to talk to her. She thought about what he had said, about what he had known but promised not to reveal. Would he keep his promise? For old times sakes if not for his word’s? She hoped so. The last thing she needed was headlines screaming that Kermit didn’t have time for her, that he had palmed off his responsibilities on his brother so he could bury himself at work instead.
Hastily, Piggy put on what passed for her street clothes and walked out. She looked up into the tree as high as she could see, but saw nothing and no one. She took a deep breath, turned her snout firmed forward and went to find Jimmy. She wanted today to be over. She wanted tomorrow to come—and now!
Kermit was ready for tomorrow to come, too.
Although he’d done his best to push away the persistent idea that morning, it had taken hold of him now and was not so easily dismissed. Scooter finally stopped in the middle of one of the editing sessions and just looked at Kermit, then sighed and shook his head.
“You might as well ask me,” Scooter said. “You’re not worth anything with whatever it is on your mind, so go ahead and spit it out so we can get some work done.” But when Kermit did ask, Scooter was taken aback.
“Scooter—have you ever lied to me?”
Scooter looked up, surprised by the question. “Not—not on purpose,” he stammered. “I mean, when I was a kid, probably, but—“
“That’s fine, Scooter. I was just—it was a rhetorical question.” Kermit sighed and rubbed his wrist against his temple. He looked exhausted and miserable and Scooter watched him anxiously, wondering what he could do to help.
“Oh.”
“I—look, Scooter. I’m pretty desperate here. I need—look, Piggy’s going to be gone in a very short time and there’s something we want to do before she goes.”
Scooter was really glad Kermit wasn’t looking at him because he blushed to his hairline.
“What…what is it?” he asked cautiously.
“We…we’re trying to take a drive up the coast to see an old friend,” Kermit said enigmatically. He smiled, knowing this wasn’t much of an explanation. “The problem is…the problem is I don’t see any white space in my calendar. We’re backed against the wall in terms of meeting the next set of deadlines.” He handed his phone with the schedule displayed on it to Scooter, though it was hardly necessary. Scooter knew Kermit’s schedule better than Kermit did.
Scooter nodded. It was true.
“So, what I’m wondering is if you think it’s possible that—if I take off tomorrow afternoon, we could make up the lost time when…when she’s…gone.”
Kermit turned and looked at Scooter, hope and entreaty on his face. It took a moment, but Scooter eventually smiled at him. It was not a bad imitation of the lop-sided smile that Kermit often wore.
“Sure thing, Boss,” Scooter said. “But once Piggy’s on her way, I own your schedule.” He gave Kermit his best evil eye, which must have worked, because Kermit did not laugh.
“You got it,” Kermit said seriously, bulbous eyes wide.
“Own it,” Scooter repeated for emphasis.
Kermit bobbed his head.
Scooter nodded, pleased. “In that case—not a problem. We could finish anything.”
For a moment, Kermit just stared, disbelief warring with joy on his face.
“Really?” he asked. “You think it will be okay?”
“Come back in here after lunch with your game face on,” Scooter said firmly, “and no dilly-dallying tomorrow morning and then…”
“Then…?”
“Then tomorrow afternoon, you’re a free man.”
Kermit put his hand on his assistant’s shoulder. “Scooter…um, give yourself a raise, won’t you?”
“On our budget? You must be joking.” But he was smiling.
Kermit grinned back and made for the door, pulling out his phone as he went. He stopped at the door. “Scooter, I owe you.”
Scooter waited until he was gone, then frowned and looked down at his own schedule worriedly. He sighed. “Fine. Then just don’t ask me if I’ve ever lied to you again.”