Kermie's Girl (ushy-gushy fanfic)

[Ruahnna]

Ohh! Now I remember!

Now I remember! Yes--that was Piggy's dorm robe. What's the use of owning fancy lingerie if nobody every gets to see it.

Ah... Let me reply then...
1 Little Richard? "Great Balls Of Fire" was recorded by Jerry Lee Lewis, not messieur Richar, as pronounced by Colinn Montgomery in an episode of Whose Line.

To which Ru replies, "Doh!" Right, right--Little Richard did "Tutti Frutti" and Jerry Lee Lewis did "Great Balls of Fire." (You know, I'm assuming, that Sesame Street has a version of this called "Goodness Gracious! Eight Balls of Fur") Oh, and I love Colin Machery also--funny men are so, like, sexy!

4 You like the Nylons huh? Then I guess you already know/have their version of the Tolkiens' "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" from when that band of singers you like appeared on The Jim Henson Hour.

Not quite clear here what you mean, but yes, I have the Nylon's version of "The Lion Sleeps Tonight"--love it, love it. Also have another Nylon's original song that's lurking in the wings for this story, but some months down the road. If you are telling me that the Nylon's were once on The Jim Henson Hour--GIVE ME DETAILS! Um, please.
Ever,
Ru

 

[Leyla]

Oh, I loved it! I know I always do, but I do! Don't be hard on yourself for not posting exaclty when you thought you might! I mean, we're still here after all, and goodness knows things come up in life and in writing that slow things down.

It sure is worth the wait! Not that it was any burden.

Loved the brunch, Piggy knocking them down and making it rather fun for Kermit. I just adored the line about Kermit being glad she's on his side!

Also this:

Kermit kept mentally putting him in a cowboy hat.

and this:

Piggy might look restrained, he thought absently, but she’s already playing this meeting for keeps.

You're really very very funny in both your dialogue and your description, Ru.
I know that you're big on dialogue, I'm big on description and I like how your description is never just there. It's pretty; it's good reading; it's alive.

“Left him a message, Honey,” he said easily, sliding into the seat beside her. She turned and looked at the men helplessly. “Sorry,” she said, and gave them all the warm, lazy smile that often had waiters bumping into each other and busboys dropping crockery by the tub load. “I always get so nervous before opening night.” [.quote]
<laughs> I love it when she does that in your stories! <adores Piggy calling the shots>

The girls practicing their struts is fabulous! It's very funny, especially with the boys peeping, even Scooter who's a lot closer to gentlement than the other two.

Hi am not looking through the keyhole—which hi would never do—but hi am watching them on the stage.”

Fantastic line!

“This is fun,” Sara thought. “But thank heavens Scooter isn’t here to see it. I would positively die.”

I suspect Scooter is the one in need of medical attention here.

And yet, even as Piggy laughed and smiled at the men who so openly fought to hold her interest, Kermit felt her watching him, knew she was tuned to him at the most basic level.

Sigh... <is in an incredibly ushy gushy mood, even for Leyla>

Piggy looked up at him for a moment and everything else around them stopped just long enough for two hearts to jump, then real time asserted itself again. A little flustered, Piggy turned back to their hosts.

<staggers around in romantic haze>

“Tired?” he asked, as the elevator slid to a stop on their floor.
Piggy raised her head and looked up at him for a long moment. “No,” she said simply.
Kermit swallowed whatever he’d been about to say. “Oh,” he said softly. “Well then….”

<Buys house in ushy gushy land and sets up housekeeping>.

“Seems like a nice guy,” Mabel said.
“He is a nice guy,” Clifford said. “That’s why this business is so hard on ‘im.”

Oh, that's brilliant and poignant and true and wonderful. I love this wole scene with Mabel and Clifford... I'm glad she checked up on things.

“Who, them?” Clifford began to laugh. “Mabel, Miss Piggy set her sights on that little froggy the first time they ever met, and she’s been nothing but trouble for Kermit. And Kermit—he loves every minute of it.”

<hugs story>

“It’s cool,” Clifford said. “We’re watching out for ‘em. Kermit’s always been the one to look out for us—the least we can do is return the favor.”

Again, another great line! I love how they look after each other.

She pulled Kermit to her and kissed him with a great deal of enthusiasm, so much so that he temporarily forgot what he’d been about to say.
“Wanted to do that before I get my lipstick on, Mon Capitan,” she said, and drifted back toward the dressing room.
“Well, um, thanks,” he called after her, still wondering what he’d been about to say. Oh well, he thought, it will come to me.

<Sits on porch rocker, enjoying the beautiful scenery in ushy gushy land>

I love the show, Kermit's intro, the GREAT dueling piano/organ scene with the girls! Howard's accidental praise was wonderful. Rizzo was hilarious. Robin's song was unbelievably sweet... I love how many varying emotions you manage to pack into a scene.

Loved Kermit's introduction of Fozzie and especially Fozzie's attempt at confession and Kermit's reassurance. Statler and Waldorf's wives comments werre wonderful. No wonder they don't show up more often! I'm so glad Fozzie's act went well for him. I don't know where wocka wocka wocka came from, but I love it.

“Sheesh!” Kermit cried. “I’ve got to—I’m not—“ He started toward the dressing room in a flurry, but Piggy caught hold of him and held out his clothes.

I love Piggy keeping an eye on him, and in fact, I just love it in general when people look after Kermit.

Once Scooter and Clifford had left, Gonzo turned urgently to Rizzo. “Hey, buddy,” he said quickly. “Look—if something happens to me, make sure to tell Camilla—“
Rizzo put his hand up to stop him. “Tell her yourself when you come down, you lunatic. Now get out there.”

Aww...! That's so sweet! I'm glad Gonzo survived his act, and the choice of song was perfect and hilarious and I didn't see it coming.

“What’d you say to her?” Rizzo asked knowingly, handing Gonzo a glass of iced tea.
“Oh, nothing,” Gonzo said airily. “Just a few sweet nothings at all.”

Hmm... "that's all" maybe. Anyway, I nitpick. Wonderful ending and it's nice to see Gonzo and Camilla's relationship. It's really a lot of fun.

Great job, Ru!

 

[The Count]

OK... Lemme try this again.
Yes, Eight Balls of Fur is an SS song that could be seen as a parody of Great Balls of Fire. The parody was sung by Chris of Chris and The Alphabeats fame. He even went so far as to destroy the piano, rocking it so hard with his piano-playing prowess.
The episode from JHH in question is Episode 03: The Monster Telethon. It's paired with The Storyteller: The Soldier And Death.
There's a transcript up on www.toughpigs.com and I believe the song's uploaded at the Muppet Musique website.

Essentially, the White Lion was absent when Jim went to do his intro for the episode. Instead, he was met by The Storyteller's Dog (voiced/performed by Brian Henson) who told Jim that the frog got the lion a job at the New York City Library. The video consisted of the lion chasing after the band, who bothered him while he tried to slumber. Modestly funny, talk to MuppetDude (the Senior Member from KY) to see if he can help you get a copy of the episode. Then again, might be that KermiClown could also be your best bet to get that particular JHH episode.
Hope this helps and post more story sooooon.

 

[ReneeLouvier]

*melts into a puddle of ushy-gushy-ness*



Wow....What else can I say? It's a....great chapter! And me falling into Scoot's lap, I love it! I love it all!! Wonderful!!!

*applauds the story, and Ru, then settles back for some more.*

More please? I can't wait to see what else happens!!

 

[ReneeLouvier]

Aw...what happened Ru? Please, post more story! I'm wondering what happened and stuff, and I never saw a "The End" so it really can't be over can it?

 

[Ruahnna]

It ain't over till the, um, well, best not say

Aw...what happened Ru? Please, post more story! I'm wondering what happened and stuff, and I never saw a "The End" so it really can't be over can it?

Good grief, no, it's not over by a long shot. We've got literally months of time to get through before it's all over. We got to get to the Oscars (and it's only Christmas), to Broadway, and to the movie premiere, plus a whole, whole lot of other stuff--we're going to see some surprises for more than one couple that I think you'll like. (Wait--I know YOU'LL like them!) I'm just resting after that week of monster posting and trying to be sure I can cram in one more plot line before I get to far into the Vegas story to do it. I'll try to get something else posted before the weekend is officially over.

 

[The Count]

*Launches muffins, after getting the prompt from penguin carrying cue card. Can we please have some more story? Rully love this one, hope for more ASAP.

 

[Ruahnna]

Coming up, dear. Sorry this part is so short. But at least it's done, right? (eyes cannon nervously) Right?

 

[Ruahnna]

Chapter 25: Comical Enhancements

They had 20 minutes to change and get everything ready for the Christmas half of the show. Normally, Kermit would have taken a moment to rest and get centered, but once again he had something important to take care of. He went looking for Fozzie.
Kermit found him in the dressing room, looking glum.
“Hey Fozzie. I thought your act went great tonight. You really wowed them.”
Fozzie only acknowledgement was a great, heart-rending sigh. “You must be so disappointed in me,” he said.
“What?! No, Fozzie—I thought you were wonderful.”
“I know,” Fozzie moaned. “I’m so ashamed.” He put a big furry paw over his face.
“Fozzie, look—the crowd loved you. You were funny. I don’t understand why you’re upset.”
Fozzie looked up. “But—but you said you knew!”
“Well, I thought I did but now I—“
“I cheated!” Fozzie blurted. “I used Dr. Honeydew’s machine, the Funny-o-meter.”
“Yeah, but Fozzie, that was—“
“That was wrong! I wasn’t funny enough on my own so I cheated. I used…I used comical enhancements!” He covered his face with his hands. “Please don’t tell Ma.”
Kermit heaved a great sigh of his own, wondering how to sort this out.
“Look, Fozzie—you didn’t cheat.”
“I did! I used the machine when no one was looking. I wanted so much to be funny….”
“But, Fozzie, that wasn’t really cheating.”
“You’re just saying that,” muttered Fozzie, but he sounded maybe just a little bit hopeful. Kermit took him gently by the arm and turned him around so he could look into Fozzie anxious eyes.
“Fozzie, you didn’t really cheat.” He held up his hand to ward of further protestations from his furry friend. “The machine—the machine was a fake, Fozzie. It didn’t work.”
“But, but—it did work. It did. I was funny. Tonight, I was funny.”
“You were funny, Fozzie,” Kermit said gently. “You—not some dumb machine.”
“But—but it said that it would make me funnier and—“
“Lose your hair?” He looked a Fozzie’s shining coat, freshly groomed for his Vegas debut. “Lost any hair, Fozzie?”
“Um, no,” Fozzie admitted. “But it said that it would cause unconsciousness, and I—I woke up on the floor.”
“Um, you fainted,” Kermit said. “Probably nerves.”
“Oh.” Fozzie was quiet for a moment. “How do you know the machine didn’t work?”
Kermit was tempted—he was oh-so tempted to skirt his responsibility and say, very blithely, “Have you ever known any of Dr. Honeydew’s inventions to work?” but he didn’t. He scrunched up his face and screwed up his courage and spoke the truth.
“Because I invented the Funny-o-meter, Fozzie. It was—it was me, not Honeydew.”
Fozzie looked more confused than skeptical. “But—but why would you invent a machine to make people funnier?” He gasped suddenly and covered his mouth with both hands. “It was because of me, wasn’t it? It’s because I wasn’t funny enough! Oh—I knew it—“
“No—I didn’t mean that. Sheesh, this is getting more complicated than I meant. Fozzie—I didn’t invent the Funny-o-meter. No one did. I just took one of Honeydew’s old contraptions that didn’t work and slapped a new name on it. There never was a real Funny-o-meter.”
Fozzie looked at Kermit helplessly. “Why?” he asked at last.
Kermit felt like a heel. “Um, I only meant it as a joke, Fozzie—as a prank, you know, just to boost your confidence a little here in a new town. I never meant for you to—“
“Oh, Kermit.”
Kermit slumped. “Look, I didn’t mean for—I didn’t think that you would actually—“
“Kermit,” Fozzie said firmly. He put his hands on Kermit’s shoulders and looked at him reproachfully. “Are you telling me that you—my best and most trusted friend, my director, my employer, my frog—are you telling me that you tricked me?”
“Um, yes,” Kermit muttered.
“Do you know what this means?”
Kermit opened his mouth to explain, but suddenly found himself short of breath as Fozzie darn near hugged the stuffing out of him.
“It means I was funny! Me! I was funny tonight! Without comical enhancements! Kermit—I. WAS. FUN. NEE!”
Weak with relief, Kermit sagged against Fozzie and returned the crushing bear’s hug as tightly as he was able. This hadn’t gone exactly as planned, but it had certainly gotten Fozzie over the hump. Kermit planned to enjoy his friend’s success—just as soon as he could begin breathing on his own again. With difficulty, he extricated himself. Ten minutes out of his 20 minute intermission were already gone, and he hadn’t even changed yet.
“Fozzie, I’m proud of you,” Kermit said, patting his friend on the back. “You did a great job.”
Fozzie opened his mouth in a wide smile and waggled his eyebrows at Kermit. “Boy, did I!” he exclaimed. “Wocka wocka wocka!”

Somehow ferreting him out, Scooter met Kermit outside Fozzie’s dressing room and practically dressed him on a dead run to the sound booth. All around them, cast members were being herded expertly, with Howard and Thoreau occasionally nipping at their heels. Nobody nipped at Piggy.
Kermit stopped long enough to be sure that Robin was ready for their number together, and got backstage with about four minutes to spare before the curtain opened again. Piggy met him backstage, beautifully attired in a green satin lounging outfit and her very own high-heeled bedroom scuffs with the poufs on top. (Why improve on perfection, Thoreau had said, eying the shoes with something akin to lust.)
While they waited in the wings, the Electric Mayhem filed past, now decked out in what passed for their holiday duds. Dr. Teeth looked more glittery than usual, and Janice was wearing a short emerald satin dress with Christmas lights worked into the weave. Her Santa-style boots added to the festive air. Floyd looked the same, unless you counted the single sprig of holly pinned to his usual jacket. Animal had a Christmas T-shirt, or rather what was left of one, Lips had on a red-and-green-plaid jacket that Doc Sevrinson would have envied, and Zoot was wearing a maroon velvet pantsuit of undetermined origin. Thoreau couldn’t even look at him. Everyone while filed past Kermit gave passed palms or gave him some sign of cheerful acknowledgment. The band had been hot, hot, hot tonight, Kermit thought happily. And the second half is just starting.

 

[The Flying Sheep]

I Love how you write Fozzie here: "I. WAS. FUN. NEE!" Perfect Foz.

And you included Lips! Yes!