I've had some more food for thought

[MartyMuppets]

I had a visit from my friend Ian Cavanagh who was my sponsor for when I joined the Catholic faith today. He had to talk about certain things that were a worry to him first which naturally I won't go into but he was grateful for being able to get them off his chest with me as a friend.
I was pleased to be able to talk to him about what concerns were on my chest as well. I told him about my time spent in Confession with Father when I explained my position of having a foot in both Catholic and Salvation Army camps and he was as nice and open as Father was with me.

Ian said that even though he would be naturally disappointed if I did leave the Catholic faith he would still always be my true friend of course. And let me just say he was grateful for the assurance that if I did leave it would not be because of any of the things that have happened in his own life that have had some repercussions in things we have both been involved with.
I told him what I told Father regarding this one area of our doctrines where I am stumbling and Ian has given me a few relevant points to consider.

1. In some ways I am making conditions with God, though I don't consciously mean them like that. In effect I have said that I'll be a happy Catholic 100% if God gives me a devout Catholic bride.

2. While I have been disappointed with the aloofness of many of my fellow parishioners I have gone from one extreme to the other. Ian has said that he has noticed the change in my personality. Before I was openly friendly to everyone and I thought I was starting to break the ice but when I got a couple of knock-backs when I thought it would be a good idea after having been involved with the Church for a good while to invite a single person or a married couple around for a cuppa and slowly build upon what I thought I had going I became a little reserved. Even Ian has said that when he talks to me at Church I have a kind of veneer up in front of my face.
It's true as he has openly admitted to me that we are not visiting each other socially in contexts away from Church, and while that doesn't make the stand-offishness right by adopting it myself I am technically contributing to the problem. But it certainly isn't easy as I said to Major Colin when we had our session on the subject of Loneliness. Maybe I could try to strike an appropriate balance when I'm at Church and try to go to a weekday Mass when they have a cuppa afterwards.

3. He has realized that I have stopped going out with the Youth Group on Sunday nights even though I am still going out through the week to pray with them occasionally. And he thinks that's rather sad. And I do admit it's true that the group made a big difference to my life. Especially since I felt like I was really getting far more spiritual good through them than through the Parish itself. While having a bit of a break probably did do me some initial good in itself I have known as I told Ian, I shouldn't really give it up completely. Even though I don't have any potential future partner among my sisters-in-Christ I must be able at some point to still enjoy the companionship and grow in my faith for we do need contact with Christian brothers and sisters or else we run the risk of losing our vitality just like a lump of coal taken away from the embers and left by itself.


I am going to endeavour with God's help to work on relations with the Parish and the Youth.
And while it's not altogether impossible that I'll change over to Salvation Army I want to be absolutely certain that I am where God wants me to be in the end. If I come to terms with my Catholic faith as a single man or if I honestly do meet a devout Catholic future wife I will trust in God's leading of me according to His will.
And if perchance I should marry into the Salvation Army I'll be sorry to disappoint my Catholic friends but I'll still love them dearly as part of the Family of Christ.
Major Colin is very nice. He won't tell me what I should or shouldn't do as a Counsellor. Which is the proper way a Counsellor's job should be done. He has said I'm welcome to attend the Army worship as often as I like during my searching time. And he prayed upon me during Easter Sunday morning when I went out to the Salvo's prayer altar during worship. He prayed for guidance in preparing to move back with my family in August when my lease runs out and for strengthening in my efforts to improve my relations with them and to mirror the image of Christ much better than before I moved out. And I do know that God's will is for me to at least keep going there as well as my own Parish for the time being. And He is using Major Colin to bless me and help me.

I've finished my home New Testament studies all the way from Matthew to Jude and I'll be looking at Revelation next time. Thank you for being willing to listen to me and for all your prayers.

 

[Beakerfan]

Gosh Marty! I can see that this must be a difficult time for you, but that's also neat, in a way! I'll keep you in my prayers, and remember that God likes to take his time.

 

[Ilikemuppets]

I wish you the best with your decisions Marty! I will be praying for you about that!

 

[CensoredAlso]

I don't mean this to be rude at all, but can you explain why your wife has to be of the same faith as you? (Unless you don't feel comfortable answering of course). Just asking

 

[MartyMuppets]

I don't mean this to be rude at all, but can you explain why your wife has to be of the same faith as you? (Unless you don't feel comfortable answering of course). Just asking

Of course I don't mind you asking heralde and I don't see it as rude in any way. It is a relevant question.

Well. In one sense you really don't have to be of the same faith. Specifically of the same sort of Christian faith. God makes it clear in the Bible that a Christian should only marry a fellow Christian. If one partner becomes a Christian after marriage they are not obligated for a divorce unless the non-Christian partner isn't happy to live with the Christian partner. Rather than be unhappy together in that case you should part ways.

But getting back to different Christian faith marriages it's a personal matter I feel between them. Some may mix oppositely well. But I think many couples agree to choose which of the two churches they will both belong to because it is more comfortable especially if there are children to bring up.
In my old hometown I knew a Baptist/Methodist couple who told me they used to go to each others churches alternately each week together but eventually they said to each other they needed to pick and stay with one. So they became Baptists. And I had a friend who I thought for sure was a Baptist through and through. But he met and married a Nazarene woman and converted over to the Church of the Nazarene. And furthermore I thought he firmly believed resolutely as the Baptists do that God intended to appoint only males to the clergy. But lo and behold his wife studied to become a female Nazarene pastor and he gives her his full loyal support in her role today. You just never know how people can sometimes change for Christian love do you?

I can't think of any mixed marriages that stayed mixed as an example though I'm sure some do exist here and there. Actually I can think of one I've heard of. The great Evangelist Billy Grahame's wife, if I remember rightly has stayed a staunch Presbyterian despite his efforts to persuade her to join his Baptist faith. But I believe their marriage is still truly happy and blessed by God if they're both still alive. I haven't heard of Billy's death though he and his wife must be getting very old now.

So in answer to your question you don't have to be the same faith but most couples seem to find it most convenient. God bless you heralde.

 

[Ilikemuppets]

But you both still have to believe the same principles that God instructed for all those who belong to him believe, right?

 

[CensoredAlso]

Thanks for taking the time to answer! That's very true that a lot of couples eventually find the need to compromise in some way or pick one when there's kids involved. I imagine it's often very difficult no matter what you decide. I commend them all for trying.

Well it all depends on how you interpret the Bible. The different denominations have different rules on this. I'm a faithful person, but have never been taught that you must marry a fellow Christian. And I would never ask someone to change faiths for me in marriage. Because I would never want someone to ask me to change my faith. It's too important to me. I may be a Christian long after I'm a married person. (Though I would hope for success in both departments!)

That's a nice story about your friends. I have met some mixed couples who deal with it very well. Others do not. I guess it depends on the individuals.

Obviously you want to marry someone who shares the same values as you. And probably most often you will find that in someone from the same faith. It's just that sometimes it doesn't work that way, you may meet a person of a different faith, but with the same basic core values. And sometimes a person goes to the same Church, but doesn't see things the way you do. So in my opinion, it's best to keep an open mind. (And make sure you get to know the person for awhile, Christian or not! Hehe)

Like what Kermit says in A Christmas Together: "I don't know if you believe in Christmas...but if you believe in love, that will be more than enough."

Of course, I'm not preaching to you here, and do not want to get into any kind of religious debate. It's own your life to live. I know it's a very difficult decision for anyone and it should not be taken lightly. I wish you luck in thinking all this over and coming to a good decision.

 

[MartyMuppets]

Thank you heralde. You're a very nice person.

And thank you William and beakerfan for your kind words as well. I would have said this earlier but it was getting kinda late for me and I needed some sleep.

 

[MartyMuppets]

But you both still have to believe the same principles that God instructed for all those who belong to him believe, right?

Yes that is so right William. Like I explained you can be united as two different denominational Christians on the basis of the universally accepted principles that we all agree upon. But of course it can be most advantageous if children are involved to have one single designated church body in which to bring them up in Christ from that denomination's personal perspective.

 

[furryredmonster]

. God makes it clear in the Bible that a Christian should only marry a fellow Christian.

Could someone possibly find the verse(s) to this and post it here for me? Thanks.