JimAndFrank
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- Apr 10, 2013
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I'm stuck.
For the past two years, my parents have been babysitting a kid pretty much since she was born. There's obviously nothing with that. In the beginning, it was to help out the kid's parents, who aren't that much older than me. The mum worked for mine for a few years. So it all started as a favour, but it's steadily turned into something that I can't help but feel is crossing several boundaries. My parents are making the kid call them 'Nanna' and 'Poppa'. Normally the accepted term is 'Aunty' or 'Uncle' if the child feels close enough to friends of the family. Being a surrogate aunt or uncle is fine, but there's just something really uncomfortable about my parents making her a surrogate grandchild.
As their actual daughter, I can't help but feel annoyed by the whole situation. The kid does in fact have biological grandparents, one of whom I happen to know will have a fit when she finds out that her granddaughter has been calling someone else Nanna. I don't want the situation to escalate to the point that the kid will be stripped away from my parents. Mum would be devastated, Dad would be p.o'd and the kid wouldn't understand why she can't see 'Nanna and Poppa' anymore.
I'll admit I also feel uncomfortable about it because I really don't like kids to begin with. I can't tolerate them and I don't want to have any of my own. My parents know this, so sometimes it feels like they are keeping the kid around as a 'surrogate' just to emphasize the point that they expect me to get over my 'fear' and become a mother one day. I don't hate the kid, but I don't want anything to do with her either. The last thing my parents need is more encouragement to keep her around.
Am I just being selfish here or just being concerned for my parents? They are both great with children and the girl genuinely enjoys visiting them, but there's a big difference between babysitting and completely misleading a kid into thinking something that's not true.
I don't know. I just really needed to get that out of my system.
For the past two years, my parents have been babysitting a kid pretty much since she was born. There's obviously nothing with that. In the beginning, it was to help out the kid's parents, who aren't that much older than me. The mum worked for mine for a few years. So it all started as a favour, but it's steadily turned into something that I can't help but feel is crossing several boundaries. My parents are making the kid call them 'Nanna' and 'Poppa'. Normally the accepted term is 'Aunty' or 'Uncle' if the child feels close enough to friends of the family. Being a surrogate aunt or uncle is fine, but there's just something really uncomfortable about my parents making her a surrogate grandchild.
As their actual daughter, I can't help but feel annoyed by the whole situation. The kid does in fact have biological grandparents, one of whom I happen to know will have a fit when she finds out that her granddaughter has been calling someone else Nanna. I don't want the situation to escalate to the point that the kid will be stripped away from my parents. Mum would be devastated, Dad would be p.o'd and the kid wouldn't understand why she can't see 'Nanna and Poppa' anymore.
I'll admit I also feel uncomfortable about it because I really don't like kids to begin with. I can't tolerate them and I don't want to have any of my own. My parents know this, so sometimes it feels like they are keeping the kid around as a 'surrogate' just to emphasize the point that they expect me to get over my 'fear' and become a mother one day. I don't hate the kid, but I don't want anything to do with her either. The last thing my parents need is more encouragement to keep her around.
Am I just being selfish here or just being concerned for my parents? They are both great with children and the girl genuinely enjoys visiting them, but there's a big difference between babysitting and completely misleading a kid into thinking something that's not true.
I don't know. I just really needed to get that out of my system.