Hey Aaron--I'm really sorry to hear you're having such a difficult time. I know that modern medicine sometimes falls short of pain relief, but I do believe that our minds have enormous capacity to cope with things. I think your most powerful tool is your imagination, and with it, you can move outside of your physical limitations.
Many of my personal heroes were people who lived with physical problems and yet found beauty and sweetness in life--Stephen Hawking, for example. I know it's not much help when you're miserable just to hear that others have been miserable too--that's not what I mean--but the drive to persevere, to contribute, to BE--those are things that anyone can aspire to. I hope that your suffering will be soothed, and that you will find someplace inside your imagination that can give you peace during difficult times.
We are interested in what happens to you, Aaron--hang in there, okay?
Your friend, Ru