Pepe: Again? She is doing this again? Ay caramba!
Rizzo: You didn't complain when she made the pie over because she wasn't happy with the crust.
Pepe: Is different. Is very different. What else can she do with this same scene?
Rizzo: I don't know. We could, you know, shut up and let her work.
Pepe: Is she making more pies? Do ju know? Hey--Ru lady--are you making more pies?
Ru: Well, I could. Right now I'm making a little mush.
Rizzo: Fried mush? With maple syrup?
Ru: Um, well, no--the...the other kind.
Pepe: But then, more pies, si? Or waffles?
Ru: Uh, sure. I could, you know, whip up something. Now will will get out of the way and let me post?
VMX Redux: et toi?
Kermit looked up to find Piggy standing in front of him, her expression so neutral he knew something was brewing. Her devastatingly blue eyes were focused like lasers on his face.
"This is your script?"
"Um, yeah. Um hum." Kermit shifted nervously. "Did you, um, read the, uh, whole thing?"
"Yes."
There was an awkward silence while Kermit hoped for some clue from her expression. There was none.
"Um, so...did you, you know, like it?"
"Kermit, you have me working as a Jamaican psychic!"
"No, no—well, sort of. Just pretending in that one scene. But I mean, um, did you read the whoooole thing?"
"And you want me to work with cats. Kermit, if I'm going to work with a stage full of felines, it had better be on Broadway."
"Yeah, but, but...did you read the entire script."
There was a flicker in her expression, and Kermit felt a surge of optimism.
"I mean, did you read all the way to the end?"
"What--when the angel figures out he can send you back?"
"You didn't! I knew it. You didn’t read the whole thing."
Piggy huffed a little, uncomfortable. "So I skipped ahead to the end, everybody holds hands, we all sing. Yeah, yeah."
Kermit snatched her script from her hands and flipped to the back, determined to show her what he was talking about. To his astonishment, there were several pages missing from her script. He looked up at her in surprise and bewilderment.
"But, but--there was, there was another scene. Um, several other scenes."
"With the angel?"
"No! Not with the angel--with you and Fozzie and Rowlf and, um, Joan."
"Oh! Moi gets to work with Joan? That's nice--"
"No--I mean, yeah,--I mean, yes, you do get to work with Joan but that's not what I was talking about."
Piggy was now giving him a look like he'd lost his mind. "Kermit, what are you talking about?"
Kermit was beyond flustered.
"There's a kissing scene," he said, looking for it in vain in Piggy's script.
“You're going to kiss Joan? Isn't it bad enough that she has to kiss Pepe?"
"No, I'm not kissing--" Kermit stopped. He gave her a look.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
“What's what supposed to mean? I just think that ending the show with you kissing her seems, you know, a little anticlimactic--"
"I'm not. I’m not kissing her! I'm kissing you!"
Piggy looked unconvinced. "Me? Are you--are you sure?"
"Of course I’m sure! I wrote the thing, didn't I? And I know very well that I can't come back and have a happy ending if we don't...um...er...."
"Yes?" Sheesh. You could get lost in those big blue eyes.
"That is to say, um, er..."
"Maybe you could just show me. You know, the script pages...." Again, there was a flicker in her eyes that Kermit was not sure how to interpret, but he was willing to take a stab at it.
"Um...."
"You know--just go and get your script pages and--oh!"
Kermit took her arm gently but firmly and pulled her into his arms. His expression was wry.
"Kermit! What on earth are you--"
"So, after the angel restores me to my life and my friends, I come running into the theater and I start, you know, hugging everyone."
"Like this? If you hug Rowlf like this I think people will--"
"Will you stop, already?"
For the first time, Piggy smiled. "Stop what?" she said, then giggled as Kermit pulled her in and pressed a flurry of kisses over her neck and shoulders. This public display of necking caused Piggy to squawk and complain, which of course garnered them an audience.
Kermit did not look up until he was quite done, then he turned around and looked at Rowlf and Gonzo and Rizzo and Scooter and even at Sam, who had one hand over his eyes.
"It’s okay, guys," says Kermit. "We're just rehearsing." He turned back to his pig, obviously thinking about doing the whole thing again.
"Yeah, right," Scooter murmured.
"Good one," said Rowlf. "Gonna have to use that one myself."
Fozzie looked confused. "I thought you did that scene on the other side of the stage."
"Fozzie?" Kermit murmured, still gazing at Piggy.
"Yes, Kermit?"
"Go away."
"Oh. Oh! Oh, um, yes sir."
Piggy had stopped protesting as vehemently as before. In fact, her satin-gloved arms were now around his shoulders and she looked thoroughly kissed and satisfied about it.
"Oh--so that's what happens."
"Well, almost." Kermit gave an almost convincing grimace.
"Almost?"
"Yeah--that didn't seem quite right. I think maybe we should run that again."
"But...but Kermit, I don't have my script....."
Kermit threw the remains of her script over his shoulder. "You won't need it...."
"Oooh, Kermit!"
There are definitive sounds of smooching, and giggling. And more smooching.
"And Piggy?"
"Yes, Mon Capitan?" Piggy said dreamily.
"Next time, you should try re-bending the staples in instead of out. Spoils the whole effect...."
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