Harvey Kneeslapper's beats gag

[minor muppetz]

Harvey Kneeslapper: (starts laughing, and then notices the audience watching) Oh, hello, there. I have a great joke planned for tonight. Yeah, you see, I am going to go up to somebody and ask, "Do you like beets?", and when he or she says that he or she does, I am going to start beating that person. (laughs hysterically) Oh, here comes somebody now. Excuse me, but do you...
Herbert Birdsfoot: Oh, I'm sorry. I can't talk right now, I'm late for work (runs away)
Harvey Kneeslapper: But I just wanted to...
Herbert Birdsfoot: Sorry, but I can't be any later (runs).
Harvey Kneeslapper: Oh, darn! (sees Ernie walking by) Oh, excuse me, do you like beets?
Ernie: No, I hate beats (walks away).
Harvey Kneeslapper: Oh, rats. Oh, here coems somebody else. (starts laughing) Hey, do you like beats? (laughs harder)
Fat Blue: I'm sorry?
Harvey Kneeslapper: I said, do you like beets (laughs)?
Fat Blue: Oh, yes I do.
Harvey Kneeslapper: Would you like to have some beats right now (laughs hysterically)?
Fat Blue: No, thank you. I actually just had a big lunch. The best meal that I've had in months. Maybe tomorrow (walks away).
Harvey Kneeslapper: Oh, dang it! Oh, here comes somebody now.
Kermit the Frog: (in reporter attire) Excuse me, but would you like to answer the question of the day?
Harvey Kneeslapper: Only if you'll answer my question.
Kermit: Okay, my question is, "Do you like beats?"
Harvey Kneeslapper: Uh, no (starts giggling). Now for my question (struggles to hold back laughter).
Kermit: Well, ask it.
Harvey Kneeslapper: Do you like beats?
Kermit: (scrunches face) That's your question? How unoriginal! (walks away)
Harvey Kneeslapper: oh, hey come back! Oh, (acts sad) I'll never get it right, never.
Don Music: Hey, that's my line (walks away)!
Harvey Kneeslapper: Oh, sorry (turns head, then looks at the camera). Wait a minute! (turns head the way that Don Music left) Hey, sir! Do you like... (turns head to the camera) Where'd he go?
(a boxing gloves comes up to Harvey)
Boxing Glove: Hey, do you like punch?
Harvey Kneeslapper: Oh, yes, I do like punch.
Boxing Glove: Would you like to have some punch now?
Harvey Kneeslapper: Oh, of course!
(the boxing glove starts punching Harvey Kneeslapper as he runs and screams)

 

[mikealan]

Very funny! Especially when Harvey steals Don Music's "Oh, I'll never get this right!" line!