Words of Encouragement for my Brother
Dear Jared,
Remember when we were kids? Everything was much more fun and simplistic, wasn't it? Not to mention everything was solved through play. Mom and dad always used to get the biggest kick out of watching us make up new games - no matter how ridiculous they seemed. A few worhty mentions; our sandbox came where we couldn't touch the middle because it was filled with poison peanut butter, or how we'd rescue the princess from the wicked wizard only to find out the princess was a spy from another planet? How about when we used to play vacuum, only to discover rugburn? We played the greatest games then,but even though we're grown up now, I'm not ashamed to admit I remember your favorite game: Pirates. Remember? Grandpa's old coat became your pirate jacket, because you were the captain, and the captian always had to have a special jacket. You always loved it, sailing the high seas, and searching for buried treasure( which was really buttons we borrowed from mom) - no kid was ever happier than you were.
Even though at the time, it was just a game to us, looking back now, I think there' s a lot of symbolism in playing pirates. I mean, you were always the captain, that means that after all this time, you've finally decided to take control of your life-you finally decided to quit acting like an idiot and get married. (I'm just kidding) You're taking the helm Jared, and I couldn't be prouder of you. Even though we're too old for treasure hunts now (or are we?) and we no longer believe in our boyhood games, you never stopped believing in love. You almost did, but you remembered: it's when you believe you've stopped believing that you find the most wonderful thing of all - true love. Do you remember when Justin ambushed us once and stole all your treasure? And how happy you were when you found that one last ''ruby'' in your pocket? That's what real, true love is like. Even though you lost all your treasure, you still had that one little button, but that button made all that difference. After that, we were retired pirates - rich retired pirates! That happiness you felt that day is what marriage is like - she'll make all the difference, and she'll be all you need to survive.
I know that you're looking into the big scope of things that is the future, and it's more than a little scary. But, the fact that it's scary is what makes it so great. Love is scary, confusing, unnerving, and wonderful all at the same time, and believe me, I know. It's going to seem really scary and impossible at first, you might even question if this is the kind of life you're cut out for. You're going to have that feeling in the pit of your stomach, maybe even up to the wedding day -until you see your bride. She'll be smiling at you-both with her lips and her eyes. And the look in her eyes will say, ''You can do this-I love you.'' It's at that exact spot that you know that you'll be ok; when your doubts and fears just melt away.
When Megan and I got married, I was feeling the exact same way that you do now, scared, uncertain, happy, dazed, I felt it all. But then I remembered something Uncle Kermit once told us about girls: ''If you make each other happy, then that's all that matters.'' That's the advice that I'm offering you today, little brother. As longs as you love and care for each toehr, then everything else will come naturally.
It almost doesn't seem like it, but Megan and I wil be married for four years tomorrow. The fantastic four. Depending on what kind of mood you found me in at the time, I'd either tell you they've been the happiest four years of my life, or the longest and most trying. You know Meg, she's absolutely wonderful, but she can be quite fiesty at times. For fear she's going to clock me when she reads this, I'll move on. My point is that the time you and your wife have together is precious-make every day count, because after you get past the first six months, time is just going to fly by. Now I hope you have enought patience to endure a little friendly brotherly advice. These are things I've learned along the way, and some things I think might help keep you out of the frog house.
Always let her know you appreciate her-both with your words and your actions. Even a simple thank you goes a long way. Always listen to her when she talks, and let her know you're listening. Sometimes a simple 'uh-huh' will do the trick, but sometimes you actually need to respond, because she'll need support. That's the next thing: always support her. As long as she's serious in what she's talking about, your job as a husband is to stand beside her. Never go to bed angry. The last thing you want to see is an angry wife-especially is she's angry with you. And believe me, she will be. Admit your mistakes and know how to say I'm sorry- because you'll have to - a lot. Use balloons instead of flowers, she'll forgive you much faster. Every once in a while, take her on an outdoor excursion;we're frogs, for crying out loud! I know this is going to sound mushy and lame, but massage her. If you don't know how-learn! Trust me, you will be in good with her if you know how to massage her. Tryto do nice things for her, small things, and do they randomly. They let her know you still care. Give her space to be alone or have a girls' night out occassionally, she was her own frog before she met you, after all. Find time to hold her and tell her how beautiful she is. Mushy? You bet, but it works. Never let her out of your sight without giving her a kiss goodbye. It puts her in a good mood for the day. Finally, never, ever, ever let a day pass without telling her you love her. She needs to know. I mean, she does know, but she likes to hear it, and you'll like it when she says it back, too.
These are just some friendly suggestions to help you get started. Now of course, I can't give you all my tips: two perfect husbands in this family would just be too much. (Just kidding) Anyway, there's a lot of uncertainty going through your mind right now, I know, but you just have to let it go, and trust your heart, bro. I trusted mine, and it led me to the best thing I've ever done-marrying Megan. If nothing else, this will bring us closer together as brothers;being husbands together. I'm proud of you little brother, and I have no doubt you'll make a terrific husband. Just remember-cherish your jewel, and you'll be a well off, retired pirate. I love you Jared, and I'm with you 'til the end.
Your Brother,
Robin
P.S. One more thing: the secret to a happy marriage? Always have your playground time. You'll never feel teetered until you found your totter.