This chapter is much too long, but I couldn't find a good break point...I'm so happy it's finished. Good stuff happens after this.
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Chapter Nine
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It was early morning now. All but Dr. Teeth, who was fueled on caffeine on adrenaline, had fallen asleep, curled up on the seats (except for Zoot, who was fully stretched out with his legs hanging off of the side). The pianist looked ahead at the seemingly endless road bordered by morning fog.
“Exterior: dawn.” He muttered to himself. “That time of day when the farmers are up, the air is crisp, and the sun is getting’ dressed.” He pondered this. “And the frog and the bear are…somewhere.”
~
They had already checked his ID at the front, made sure he had no weapons, and given him a temporary ID that was in fact quite restricting. With not but a few gruff instructions, Dr. Teeth managed to find his way to the correct studio. He slipped in the back just as they were finishing the take. His old friend Jim was leaning casually against a large block, talking to a frog who was sitting on top. He recognized a few of the people in the studio, they seemed to follow Jim wherever he went.
“Cut!”
“That was a good one!”
“Nice work, guys.”
“Hey, Dr. Teeth!” A voice called from his side. Rowlf, a laid back, musically gifted canine, came to greet him.
“Hey, Rowlf, you working on this, too?” Dr. Teeth grinned.
“Yeah, Jim thought it would be a good idea for me to be here. Help balance out the frog, if you know what I mean.” He nodded his head towards Jim and the frog, who were deep in conversation. “Name’s Kermit.”
“Yeah, I’ve seen him on TV before.” Dr. Teeth looked at the frog. He looked taller on TV.
“So did Jim ask you to come?” Rowlf asked.
“Yeah, man!” Think he thinks I’d want to get into the film business, but the only piece of cinematography I’d ever make would be a music video!”
The two laughed and left the soundstage, catching each other up on various gigs they had played, money that had never been paid, and attempted relationships.
~
“This isn’t good.” The pianist said to himself.
“W’ss up?” Floyd asked as he stumbled to the front, still half asleep.
“Lost the scent.” He nodded to his right, to Mad Mooney’s car lot, where the cosmic-colored Studebaker was parked, no frog or bear in sight.
“Why is there a septic tank on top of it?” Floyd raised an eyebrow.
“They died.” Zoot said, not at all awake.
“No, man.” Floyd shook his head. “They can’t just leave that car here, we put our souls into it!”
“True, yes.” Dr. Teeth glanced behind him, where Zoot, Janice and Animal were still sleeping, then opened the door. The mostly awake two left the bus to examine the car.
Zoot woke up just after Floyd and Dr. Teeth stepped off the bus. He sat up and looked at the seat behind him where Janice was still asleep, her long limbs curled close to her. He hadn’t told her how he felt, but she had done just as much. Honestly, in the seconds before she told him, he dreaded something terrible. It was hard to tell with her if he was doing the best he could or not. He knew he wasn’t very talkative and that he didn’t really show what he was feeling, but she kept on smiling no matter what.
At the sound of voices, Zoot turned his head to look out the window, where Dr. Teeth and Floyd seemed to be negotiating some sort of deal with a shady-looking salesman. Behind the three of them was the Studebaker (which had been christened “Love, Peace, and Fire”), which was supporting some sort of rusted truck on top.
“How much did you give them for this fine collection of metal?” He heard Dr. Teeth ask.
“Twelve dollars.” The salesman said gruffly.
“Aw, man…” Floyd said. Zoot knew what the problem was - Scooter, the keeper of their money, hadn’t come with them.
“What if we take the thing on top off?” Floyd asked.
“Eleven ninety-five.” The man replied.
“Nice haggling, man.” Dr. Teeth commended.
“Yeah, but I don’t know if I have any money on me.”
Zoot looked at the rack above his seat where his sax case lay waiting for him. He had some money in there, but he was saving that for something more meaningful then two cars stuck together, like a better sax case.
But knowing that the two would probably search the entire bus and do anything to get the money, Zoot sighed and reached for his case. It -was- only twelve dollars.
~
After a while, the two pianists went back to the studio where only a few people remained. Dr. Teeth watched as the frog bid farewell to some of the crew. Seemed nice, and from what he had watched on TV, a good face. He could probably make it.
“See you later, Kermit.” Rowlf patted the frog on his back.
“You too, Rowlf.” He smiled back. A genuine smile, which betrayed the slightly tired air around him.
“Nice job, green stuff.” Dr. Teeth grinned. Kermit looked up at him and he could tell instantly that the frog was in fact exhausted.
“Gee, thanks!” He said earnestly. Kermit gave one last wave to the room before leaving.
“Nice kid.” Dr. Teeth nodded.
“He’s definitely unique.” Rowlf agreed. “Jim introduced us a while back and we’ve been cool ever since.”
“Jim’s real adept at finding us good friends.” The good doctor smiled. “I never would have met Zoot if it wasn’t for him.”
“Mm-hmm.” The dog nodded. More people had left the studio, and the two started walking towards where Jim was talking to a friend. “Say, Jim’s talking to some people and I heard that he’s working with some folks on a kid’s show. Me and Kermit might be on it.”
“Nice!” Dr. Teeth said. “Are you going to educate the children of tomorrow on how to play piano today?”
“I wish.” Rowlf laughed.
Before long, Dr. Teeth, Rowlf and Jim left the studio together. On their way through the maze of buildings, Jim told Dr. Teeth that he had found him a bassist for the band the pianist hoped to form. Dr. Teeth beamed at the thought. Jim was good at that.
~
After the car incident, things were starting to pick up again. The band bought the cars with Zoot’s money and had hooked them up to the back of the car. They continued to drive towards California with no sign of Fozzie or Kermit, but no sign of Doc Hopper either. They drove for about a full day, stopping only at a fair which was winding down (and which, to Animal’s delight, was filled with frightened women).
The sun was only starting to rise again when Dr. Teeth yelled, “Wake up, gang! We’re in Hollywood!” He didn’t need to say it twice, the other four were up and alert.
“Oh, wow!”
“HOL-LY-WOOD!” Animal cried. He needed to be walked soon.
The band stared at all the sights, watching the sun shine over the casinos, the studios, and the people of Hollywood.
“Like, how are we going to find them?” Janice asked.
“Yeah, this is a pretty big place for a frog and a bear!” Floyd said.
“I think I know a place where our new friends would be.” Dr. Teeth said. “Just gotta find it!”
Wherever “it” was, it was hard to find. About an hour later, the bus stopped suddenly in front of a tall building.
“This is it?” Zoot asked.
“It is this!” Dr. Teeth smiled. “’Least, I hope so.”
“Man, how do you know that they’re here?” Floyd raised an eyebrow.
“Just a feeling.” The pianist replied. In actuality, it wasn’t a feeling at all, but after seeing the frog, memories of the past and the one time he had met him came back. Back then, Kermit was a bit more “groovier,” or maybe that was just how the sketches he was in portrayed him. He remembered the one day he had seen him while dropping by the studio, Jim was talking about making a movie or even a TV show with all his friends.
”But, I don’t know how many networks would think the idea would work at first.” He had said. ”I do know one person, though - Lord Lew Grade. In fact, if you ever think of doing something major with the band-”
“If the band ever happens!” Dr. Teeth laughed.
“It will.” Jim smiled. “When it does, look him up. He‘ll more than likely give you a hand”
The five made their way into the cool building which was just opening up for the day. They found the right floor and office and waited as the receptionist looked up the past day’s records.
“Nope.” She shrugged carelessly, closing a folder with a snap. “No Sesame Street frog or bear has been in here, just a few nobodies.”
“No way!” Floyd exclaimed.
“You positive about that?” Dr. Teeth asked.
“Yeah, positive, sure.” The receptionist said, not even looking at them. “You can leave now, unless you’d like to schedule an appointment.”
“Now what?” Janice asked as they re-entered the bus. Dr. Teeth took his seat at the wheel and thought for a moment.
“They’ve gotta be somewhere close.” He nodded. “They wouldn’t give up.”
“Like, where are they? Did that guy get them?” Janice asked, taking the seat behind his.
“That would not make for a very enjoyable movie.” The pianist nodded, thinking some more. After a moment, his head shot up. “Of course, this is it!” He quickly started the vehicle and began to drive in the direction they came from, sending the other three males stumbling to the back.
“This is what?” Floyd asked, sitting down in the back.
“Our defining moment as recurring characters!” Said Dr. Teeth, making a sharp turn. “I thought we’d have to “rescue” them here, but I suppose once you took all the good stuff out of our story-”
“Like the alien dressed as George Washington?” Janice asked.
“-we’ll have to backtrack a bit. And suddenly, we’ll come out of nowhere and all will be right with the world.”
As their leader drove, Zoot thought. Lord Lew Grade, he had heard that name before. One night after a day out with two of his friends, Dr. Teeth came back and proposed, jokingly, a film about their starts, and that man would help support it. That was also the same day Floyd played with them for the first time.
The pub was supposed to open at six. It was eight, it was raining, and Dr. Teeth was nowhere to be seen. He probably could have done the simple task of unlocking the outside doors or even putting a sign up that sad the pub was opening later, but that would be too much work. He was content with sitting inside, playing his sax with accompaniment from the people outside banging on the windows, the light, rhythmic rainfall, and the two inside switching between bickering and playing nice.
“We’ve been performing that song for a month now!” Wanda sighed. “I want to do something else, something classic!”
“That song IS a classic!” Wayne said.
“I think I’d know a classic if I heard one.”
Zoot knew his way around their song. Soon the crescendo would come, and then they would be back at the beginning again. It was nice to stay constant but a little variation wouldn’t kill them.
“Hey what are you doing in here?” Wayne turned his head to the back door. Zoot looked up from his sax and saw his friend Floyd looking the place over.
“What are you doing here, man?” Floyd asked Zoot.
“I’ve been here.” He replied simply.
“M’ friend Jerry said I should swing by and talk to some guy named Dr. Teeth.” Floyd said, setting the case he carried on the floor.
“How did you get in, the door was locked!” Wanda asked.
“No it wasn’t.” Floyd blinked. The duo, who had been locked out in the rain just an hour ago, went to go check. “This guy cool?” Floyd asked his friend.
“The best.” Zoot nodded.
There was a clicking and slamming in the back. Wayne, Wanda, and Dr. Teeth came into view.
“It was locked!” Wayne exclaimed, putting an arm around his now-soaking girlfriend.
“You must be Floyd!” Dr. Teeth extended a bejeweled hand.
“Yeah, man!” Floyd took his hand briefly.
“Heard you play bass.” The pianist said. “Could use a bass, if you wanna jam with us.”
“I only started playing bass, I used to jam on guitar.” Floyd explained.
“Could use that too!”
~
Zoot looked forward at Janice and smiled. They used to joke that they’d never let a girl in their group.
“Like, hey, there they are!” Janice shouted suddenly. The five looked across the road, and sure enough there was a car stopped on the side and a fire made in the desert-like area. There were more people, but Fozzie was clearly there.
“Broadside!” Dr. Teeth exclaimed as he jerked the wheel around. The bus drove over the median, into the desert, and stopped at the makeshift campsite.
Animal, Janice and Dr. Teeth left the bus quickly to greet the group, Zoot and Floyd bringing up the rear.
“So what’s it like having a girl again, man?” Floyd asked randomly.
“Well, good.” Zoot said, not really sure what else to say. “Why?”
“Just wondering.” The bassist shrugged before joining the others.
Zoot slowly made his way to the fire, where Dr. Teeth was introducing himself and the band as the recurring characters to the group. Kermit was nowhere to be seen, but Fozzie was joined by a pig, a chicken, a dog who he was sure came by the pub every now and then and a…whatever.
“Like, where’s Kermit?” Janice asked.
“He’s…somewhere.” Fozzie said, his mouth now in a frown. “He thinks that he’s let us all down and he just wandered off.”
“Music’s always good to ease a heavy heart.” Dr. Teeth noted.
“I tried that!” The blue thing said. The chicken next to him ba-bawked and nodded her head.
“It was a nice song...” The dog said. Zoot was sure he’d seen him somewhere.
“It was just kind of sad.” Fozzie finished.
“But I was expressing myself!” The whatever exclaimed.
“Perhaps vous could express yourself a little quieter next time.” The pig replied in an annoyed tone.
“Alright, hey now.” Dr. Teeth said, his pacifist tendencies coming through. “No need to get upset over this. I’m sure Kermit’ll come back soon and then we can get you guys to Hollywood. In the meantime,” He sat down next to the dog; the rest of the band sat as well. “Why don’t you tell us who you are and how you became companions of the little green man.”
“Well, you know me.” The dog - Zoot finally remembered his name was Rowlf - said.
“You were on Sesame Street too, like, weren’t you?” Janice asked.
“And all those old commercials!” Floyd added.
“They weren’t that long ago…” Rowlf muttered.
“Well,” the pig started before Rowlf could finish. “My name is Miss Piggy, and moi is going to become a huge Hollywood star, and end every one of her movies with a kiss from my beloved Kermie!”
“Oh wow,” Janice smiled, “Like, have you two been together for a while?”
“It seems like moi has loved him all my life!” Miss Piggy swooned, a twinkle in her eye.
“They just met.” The whatever chimed in.
“No one asked you, weirdo!” Miss Piggy snapped.
“She asked!” He exclaimed. “Anyway, I’m Gonzo, this is my girlfriend, Camilla, and that’s my truck on top of that car.”
“You’re a plumber?” Floyd asked.
“I’m a performance artiste plumber!” He smiled.
“…oh, yeah.” Janice nodded, looking back at the car-truck marriage. “Like, I couldn’t tell what that was. I got it now.”
Floyd had to stifle a laugh.
“He’s not back yet.” Miss Piggy stated pointedly.
“I know a song about bananas!” Fozzie said. He turned to the band. “Do you know it?”
“No, but we could improvise.” Dr. Teeth smiled.
“Moi doesn’t think bananas are going to help bring Kermie back.” The diva pouted.
“I know a good song!” Gonzo started.
A debate now started with those closest to the fire about what song would be best to bring Kermit back, most of them shot down by Miss Piggy. Zoot looked at his friends, who were either confused or amused. Janice, who was closest to him, looked concerned.
“There’s our song.” Zoot said suddenly. While this brought no end to the small argument, it turned a light bulb on in the band.
“Yeah, man!” Floyd grinned.
“Almost forgot about it!” Dr. Teeth laughed.
“Good idea, honey!” Janice smiled, giving his hand a squeeze before jumping up to get her guitar from the bus.
“Alright, gang!” Dr. Teeth announced once they had set up. “Let’s do this-”
“What song is it?” Fozzie asked, harmonica at the ready.
“One we created not too long ago, I believe we called it Can You Picture That.” He said.
“Moi doesn’t know the words to that!” Miss Piggy complained.
“Neither do we!” Floyd laughed.
“What’s it about?” Gonzo asked.
“Whatever you want it to be.” The doctor said.
“My kind of song.” Rowlf said.
“Alright!” He grinned. On Animal’s count, they began to play.
“Everybody’s brother,
Everybody’s lover,
I wanna be your lifetime friend!…”
Now that they were playing again, trying to remember the words they had made up, it didn’t sound all that bad. In fact, it was kind of sort of really good.
They didn’t know how long they played, but eventually Zoot looked up and saw the frog sitting next to the pig. Weird match.
Not long after that, they were packing up again. Zoot was about to board the bus when Janice grabbed his hand and pulled him back.
“Look!” She smiled and looked towards the sky. The stars were shining brighter than ever before. There wasn’t a bit of light to interfere. The blonde leaned into him and he placed his arms around her. “Like, I could get lost in it!” She sighed.
They stayed that way for a good few minutes, together, just staring into the universe.
“Hey babe?”
“Hm?”
“I love you. You’re the world to me.”
Somewhere miles away, someone was calling for them, but they were too close to the stars to hear.
“I love you too, honey.”
After that, it was like time soared by. After the sun came up, the band, minus Dr. Teeth who wouldn’t give up the driver’s seat, was back to playing.
The only hitch came when a motorcycle cop pulled them over.
“Were you speeding, man?” Floyd asked.
“Never, I like to absorb life.” The pianist said, opening the door.
The cop took off his helmet and the newer additions to their party gasped.
“Is this him?” Dr. Teeth asked.
“Wait, listen!” The man said. He found Kermit in the group and faced him. “Doc Hopper sent me. He said that-” the anticipation quickly rose “-he’s sorry. He realized what he was asking of you and, well, he’s just really sorry.”
“Really? That’s, well, thanks!” Kermit smiled. “Tell him that I forgive him.”
“Thank you.” The man said. He put his helmet back on and jogged back to the bike.
“Oh, Kermie!” Miss Piggy gave him a rib-breaking hug.
“Alright, Kermit!” Fozzie patted him on the back.
“That’s it?” Floyd asked. All eyes were suddenly on him.
“What do you mean “that’s it?” Did you want Kermie to get killed?” Miss Piggy yelled.
“’Course not!” The bassist scoffed. “Just kinda anti-climactic.”
“I have to agree with you there.” Dr. Teeth added. “It doesn’t really compare to our version of the story?”
“The story…? Do I want to know?” Kermit asked.
“Oh, like you mean the showdown?” Janice exclaimed. “That was my second-favorite part!”
“You and this Doc Hopper guy had an old-school Western-movie showdown.” Dr. Teeth explained. “There was an epic gunfight, and then right when the good guys - that’s you - were on your last leg-”
“BIG SCENE!” Animal shouted.
“Animal grew into a giant Animal!” Floyd finished.
“How did he do that?” Kermit asked.
“Well, we won’t find out, now, will we?” Floyd said, raising an eyebrow.
“You know, you can’t have a good movie without a showdown at the end.” Dr. Teeth said as he pulled back into the road and continued driving. Kermit couldn’t tell if he should be slightly irritated or amused. The latter was always best.
“Well, if I ever make a movie, I’ll be sure to have a showdown in the west with Animal growing bigger!”
In an hour, they were back in Hollywood. Dr. Teeth knew just where to go, and in no time they had arrived back at the office complex.
“Hey, Kermit, Dr. Teeth?” Rowlf spoke up. “Do you see what I see?”
The two turned to where he pointed. The others had no idea what they were looking at, but it was apparently important, as all three of them left the bus in a heartbeat.
“What was that about?” Gonzo asked.
“Not a clue.” Floyd blinked. The others headed out and into the building, the band leading the way to the right office. The receptionist didn’t even look up, she just waved a hand towards the office of Lord Lew Grade. When they opened the door, they saw the three standing there before the desk of the mogul. Behind the desk, and behind the man seated there, was a man with a big brown beard.
“Like, you’re-!”
“Jim Henson!”
“Wow, really?”
“Bawk!”
“What are you doing here?” Kermit asked with a smile. “How did you know-”
“I didn’t!” He laughed. “Just a feeling. We were even talking about you right before you came in.”
“About me?” He asked, now facing the other man. Miss Piggy squeezed through the group to join Kermit.
“Why is it that you’ve come here?” Lord Lew asked. Kermit swallowed and thought for a moment.
“Well, we came here because we wanted to be big stars.” He started. “But I don’t really care about money or fame anymore.”
“Kermie?” Miss Piggy mumbled.
“I don’t care who sees me, as long as someone sees me. I just want to sing and dance and make people happy - and I want to do it with my friends!”
Everyone in the room felt his honesty and love. It was swirling around them, binding them together. Even Lord Lew had to smile.
“Your friend Mr. Henson actually proposed a very good idea to me that you might like.” He said, opening a drawer and searching through it. “A TV show, with your friends. A variety-hour type show that can give something to everyone.”
“That…that sounds great!” Kermit said slowly. Everything seemed to be sinking in and he was becoming slightly overwhelmed.
“You know that Valentine special we did with Mia Farrow?” Jim asked. “I was thinking that it was a good format, just change it up a little.”
Lord Lew finally found what he was looking for. He placed a thick sheet of paper on the desk, facing Kermit.
“What do you think?” Jim asked. Kermit looked at the paper, which was quite intimidating with all of the fancy script and legal binding.
“Well…” Kermit turned back to the others. “What do -you- think?”
“Oh, vous should go for it!” Miss Piggy said.
“Yeah, this is what we wanted!” Fozzie exclaimed.
“And you know I’ve got a TON of acts!” Gonzo said.
“And if you even need help, we’ll be there!” Dr. Teeth added.
That was all he needed. Kermit turned around, inhaled, and signed the contract.
It was a joyous night in Hollywood. Everyone, Jim and Lord Lew included, went out for a celebratory dinner that was full of laughs, jokes, and fun.
It was long past midnight when the band boarded the bus once more. Kermit also hopped on to bid his new friends farewell.
“They’re giving us a theater to turn into a soundstage.” Kermit told them. “It isn’t too far out from where that church is.”
“Like, we’ll stop by a lot, then!” Janice said, yawning shortly after.
“Hey, Dr. Teeth…” Kermit started. “You know, I bet you guys would be great on the show. You should join us!”
“I’m sure you’ve got plenty of music acts in your head already.” Floyd joked.
“Well, yeah, but none of them can play as, um, loud as you.” Kermit looked at the band. “I mean, you guys, your energy, is electric!”
“I thought we were mayhem.” Zoot spoke up.
“Hm…” Dr. Teeth thought. “We could be Electric Mayhem!”
“That does describe you guys…” Kermit muttered.
“Scooter’s gonna be mad that we chose a band name after he left!” Floyd laughed.
“But, really,” Kermit insisted. “Join the show!” Dr. Teeth gave Kermit a watered-down smile.
“Listen, green stuff,” He said gently. “We’re not exactly the made for TV types. We’re musicians.”
“Well…” Kermit looked down. “Will you at least think about it?”
“Sure, man.” The pianist nodded, placing a hand on Kermit’s shoulder. “Call us when you get back in our town. We should all get together then. Talk about it more.”
“Fair enough.” Kermit smiled. He took a step backwards and gave the band a wave. “I’ll see you all soon! And thanks for helping us!”
“Anytime!” Floyd called from his seat.
“Like, can’t wait to see you again!” Janice waved.
The frog left, and the band was going home.
“You know, like, Dr. Teeth…” Janice said, staring out the window. Everyone but them had fallen asleep, and she now joined him at the front, watching the stars whiz by. “Do you really not want to be on Kermit’s show?”
“Don’t get me wrong, Janice, the Electric Mayhem on television would certainly be an amazing thing.” He replied. “And I do have a nagging feeling that we’re going to be seeing a lot those guys.”
“So, like, why did you turn him down?” She asked, playing with a few strands of her hair. “It looked like it rully bummed him out.”
“Really, I didn’t want to.” He said. “But right now, I think the frog needs to pull this together with as little help as possible. Make his dream into his dream, then put in the dreams of others and all that jazz.”
“Like, those five are probably going to be with him the whole time, though.” Janice pointed out.
“That’s probably unavoidable.” He gave a small laugh. “Don’t worry, we’ll come in when we’re needed.”
“That’s good.” The blonde said, sinking lower into her chair. She hadn’t slept since the sun came up. (Then again, she didn’t even know when Dr. Teeth had slept in the course of their trip.)
“Hey Janice,” Dr. Teeth said, rousing her from an almost-sleep. “What were you and Zoot talking about in the desert? You were taking a long time.”
“Oh!” The sleep was momentarily shaken from her as she relived the moment in her head. She smiled, even giggled a little, earning a weird stare from her band mate.
“As long as things are good.” He nodded.
“Things are rully good.” Janice agreed.
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