Fanfic: Double Trouble

newsmanfan

Well-Known Member
Joined
Apr 5, 2011
Messages
2,886
Reaction score
1,661
------------------------------
Effie, your English usage has improved wonderfully! BRAVA first for that! (No, I'm not being smug, it's not as though I recall much at all of the Latin or Spanish I took, certainly not enough to write well in them!) And then another cheer :smile: for your concept of Muppets "sticking at an age"! I LOVE that! That would explain a lot about the cast members hardly aging in 30 years...

Nice description of a first crush. You prefer the Queen version of the song to Elvis or Cheap Trick? (Yeah...I was in high school in the '80s...I prefer Cheap Trick's. But the others are good.) And Zoot abandoning his shades?? Perish the thought! Someone, quick, notify Horatio Caine to come give him a good stern talking-to (with many deep, unnecessary pauses and emphases) about ALWAYS wearing your shades!! :cool:

And wow...a kid? But...but...if Zoot and Daisy didn't even interact (and all the while she was working at the theatre? The MUPPET theatre? Did I read that right?), then whose kid is it? I don't think even Muppets undergo parthogenesis...

Great story! Keep it going! :news:

-------------------
 

ilovemusic

Well-Known Member
Joined
Nov 15, 2010
Messages
301
Reaction score
80
------------------------------

And wow...a kid? But...but...if Zoot and Daisy didn't even interact (and all the while she was working at the theatre? The MUPPET theatre? Did I read that right?), then whose kid is it? I don't think even Muppets undergo parthogenesis...

-------------------
Heh, this fanfic takes place around a few years after the day Zoot met Daisy again.
I first wanted to let the kid be an adopted orphan, as Zoot says, but this option fits better in de story.

And it's not clear to me how Daisy died, anyway, she wasn't old, because her 'sticking age' was around, what shall I say, early thirties? That's not quite old. But anyway, I think muppets would be more vulnerable for all kinds of stuff just BECAUSE they don't grow older.
 

ilovemusic

Well-Known Member
Joined
Nov 15, 2010
Messages
301
Reaction score
80
And at last... Chapter 4.
Problems with the text? Just ask what has to be in it. It failed a bit, but still.
(And yes, that's Idona from 'She learnt me to see', now without her Irish boyfriend. Maybe they broke up... Who knows. And yes, Idona seems younger than Zoot, but she's his older sister. Sticking ages...)

 

ilovemusic

Well-Known Member
Joined
Nov 15, 2010
Messages
301
Reaction score
80
This chapter's gonna be fague.
:big_grin: Hooray for annoying doppelgängers.

Chapter 5
Zara felt like her heart was going to jump out of her chest. She knew this was the moment. Now it was going to happen. She was going to meet the person who changed her life.
She slowly walked towards the theatre. It was nearly 11 PM, but the lights were still on, and the clumsy receptionist was still sitting in his little room.
She just knew her crush was inside the theatre. She didn´t know anybody else of the TV show crew, but she just knew he was inside. Sometimes there are things we just can´t explain.
The bloodred carpet in the corridor muted her footsteps. Though, even if there hadn´t been any carpet, nobody would hear her anyway, because she was wearing casual sandals. She began to feel happy. During her Goth period she didn´t like her shoes. High heels. She had never been a type for being a girlish girl.
She heard a voice from the big stage hall. Her heart gave her chest a few striking blows. She immediately recognized it. It was him. It was the saxplayer. She had been listening over and over to those show records untill she could faultlessly recognize it. And now it was like she was sitting in her room again with quite a few donuts and a Muppet Show record.
"Holy g-goodness," she whispered. She couldn't think of anything else, or anything better.
She needed all of her currage to look around the corner. Her eyes explored the velvet chairs, searching for something cute and blue. She found two results: one including the last requirement and one including both. That was Zoot. And next to him some other blue muppet girl.
"Oh. My.", she whispered. "That. Is. Him."
For some reason she expected to get angry or at least, be jealous of the girl. But she saw that they were the same on a strange way. Anyway, they looked like relatives and treated eachother like that. She marveled at the way she was thinking, too calm for her. She'd never been a social miracle or something.
She let out a shaky sigh and tried to listen at the saxplayer, because she just heard he was up to tell something to his relative.
It was a warm evening, exactly the evening after what might have been the hottest day in years.
Zoot comfortably leaned against the thick trunk of an old tree and watched the sky. It coloured into shades people would mainly expect to see on lollipops or anything else.
He lightly smiled when he heard the sweetest voice he knew. Daisy.
"Hi dear." She joined his comfortable place and together they watched the sky.
"Zoot.", Daisy suddenly said, "I want to talk to you."
Her thin fingers entwined themselves with his. "I mean, seriously talk."
"Anytime." He stroked her bright red hair. "What is there you want to say?"
When he looked her in the eyes, he saw more severity in her face than he ever had seen before. "What's up?", he asked anxiously.
She avoided his question and his concerned looks. She just stared at the bubblegum sky and said on a low tone: "You know, Zoot, I see the days of life as a roll of cookies. When you start to eat, you don't know how many you've got left, and you don't mind. But the more you eat, the more you're going to worry about the ones left. And you try to enjoy the last cookies as much as you can. Life's just like that. If you know you'll run out of days soon, you begin to enjoy life more and more. Zoot, just promise me one thing. Promise that you'll live like you're eating your last cookie even if I ran out of them."
"What do you mean with that?", Zoot asked. He couldn't help his voice cracked.
"Just promise." She took his head in her hands. Her eyes were filled with a kind of purity and search he had never seen by someone else before. He had to nod, if he wanted or not.
"Then it's okay." She released his head and stared at the sky again, now just with a soft look in her eyes. "I didn't mean anything with it."
She suddenly flattered her head against his chest and stroked his cheek.
"I love you so much," she whispered, "so much."
Zoot felt overwhelmed when she took his head again, kissed him and pushed him on the grassy ground.
"No! LALALALALALA!"Idona stood up and hit her hands to her ears. "I don't have to hear anything about the private moments of my brother!"
Zoot smiled. "Now THAT happens to be the most important part of the story and the second reason why I'm happy."
"And still I don't- what?" She looked him in the eyes. "No. No. I don't believe this, bro."
"I also first didn't", Zoot admitted not without a faint blush, "I even didn't know. Maybe I didn't want to know it or even think about it. But this afternoon Sunny McGreen visited me..."
"... Daisy's sister with the creative vocabulary", Idona knew.
"Right, man. And she brought me, well..." Zoot stood up and walked to the corridor. If he had known, he would have seen someone ducking. But he didn't know, so he walked to one of the little rooms. Idona followed him.
"What in the name of Led Zeppelin is THAT?", she asked when Zoot showed a basket.
"Look inside.", Zoot said, slightly irritated by his overreacting sister. That was one of the reasons they hadn't seen eachother for years, they just couldn't get along very good.
Idona looked in the basket, gave a shriek and said: "That is your child, isn't it?"
Zoot nodded and felt confused. This wasn't going like he wanted it.
"Uhh, yeah. Mine and Daisy's. This afternoon Sunny brought it to me... his name is Lee Jones McGreen..." He accidently caught the disdainful glances of his sister. "Idona, I can't take care of him. I just can't! I have a full-time job here as a musician!"
Idona narrowed her bright eyes. "That was an obstruction when you were in the mourning, remember? You just want me to take care of you, you-" Idona shut her mouth, afraid to say something where Sunny would have been jealous of. Zoot lowered his head. "I don't give a dang thing about myself." He sighed, considered if you would look up or not, lowered his head even more. "I just want you to take good care of him."
A long silence followed. He slightly looked up to see what Idona was doing. She silently cried.
When she saw he looked at her, she swept her tears away and said between clenched teeth: "Forget it." She turned around and ran away, away from the theatre.
Zoot felt even more confused and slowly realized Lee Jones was crying.
He took up the little kid. "Gees," he said to no one in particular, "Is there anything like an out-button on him?" He sat down and stroke the fragile baby head. He suddenly felt a rather strong hand on his shoulder. "You allright? Whazda' adorable baby?", a recognizable yet unknown voice said.
"I'm desperate, Lips.", Zoot sighed. Lips took another chair and sat down next to the saxplayer. "Lemme guess, 't has somethin' to do with the little cutie and your sis?"
"How do you know that?", Zoot asked amazed. Lips shrugged. "Sorry, but when I heard some screaming coming outta this room, I couldn't help eavesdropping."
"That's okay," Zoot sighed. He felt how his friend wrapped his arms around him. Again. Lips had offered very much support in the past few weeks. Weeks? Months? He didn't even know it. "Just tell me,"Lips said. "Tell me what's going on." Zoot sighed again and again and told Lips the whole story.
Lips scratched his head and said: "Well... You know... Zoot, I know that your job ain't the only reason you don't wanna take care of the kid." He hesitated a few seconds. "I know you're afraid for the person he'll become. You're afraid to be remembered of Daisy. Ain't you?"
That was so true Zoot couldn't say a word.
"Well... If this was sucha psycho TV series, you know, I'd say 'go home and eat a pizza'. But, since ya're eins, desperate, zwei, hurt and drei, my best friend, I say... I'm principled against this kinda thing, but... I'll take care of him."
That was one of the many times that the trumpet player totally flabbergasted Zoot.
"But Lips... I... Why do you want to do this for me?"
"Because you can't give the kid a good youth if you're afraid for him. And I'll do it, on one condition. You are going to take care of all the mess which comes over him when he finds out you're his real father. Right?" Zoot nodded. "Better, I'll tell him myself." He shaked the hand of his friend and hugged him. "I don't even know words to thank you."
"That's allright." Lips opened the door, and someone who had been listening at the door, tumbled into the room.
"What in the... Omigosh!" Zoot couldn't help staring at the person who had been eavesdropping them. It was just like... a mirror. The person had blue, short, curling hair, a blue skin,a little yellow nose and some kind of vintage sunglasses.
"Hi." It was a muppet girl. Or a whatnot. She smiled awkwardly, she missed one front tooth.
"Who are you?", Lips asked. She stopped smiling, seemed to have some well-known cranky streak around her mouth- or she faked it, but it nearly looked too good for that- and mumbled: "Oh uhhh, I'm... Zara, yeah, I'm Zara."
 

newsmanfan

Well-Known Member
Joined
Apr 5, 2011
Messages
2,886
Reaction score
1,661
--------------------------
Very nice! Your insight into the character does come through, Effie. Zoot not wanting to keep around a living reminder of the lost love of his life is a realistic touch.

I somehow really like the phrasing "Her heart gave her chest a few striking blows." And the feeling Zara has of being back in her room with donuts and a record player. And the life-is-like-a-roll-of-cookies analogy. The flashback is nice, but it threw me at first; perhaps some sort of separation from the rest of the text, a space or doing it all in italics or something, might help distinguish it from your present-day action?

So, a groupie has not only eavesdropped on her favorite guy, but she's done so at a very private moment in his life! Yikes! That can't go well...

Please write more. :news:
------------------------------
 
Top