Fan Fic: The Muppets Celebrate 40 Years

[minor muppetz]

Enjoy this fan fiction, a script of what might have happened if the Mupets had a 40th anniversary special. I'll have this take place in eithe rlate 1995 or early 1996 (whenever footage from the first episode of Muppets Tonight was filmed, so a sneak preview could be included).

Opening Montage
A clip montage with instrumental versions of The Muppet Show Theme, Together Again, and The Rainbow Connection playing over the clips. Clips include:

• The Muppets walking in New York City (from the "You Can't Take No For an Answer" number in The Muppets Take Manhattan)
• Miss Piggy's entrance (from The Mupets: A Celebration of 30 Years)
• Gonzo slidding on cement (from The Mupets at Walt Disney World)
• Fozzie's first scene from Miss Piggy's Hollywood)
• Ernie and Bert dancing (from the first Sesame Street test pilot)
• the automatic sledgehammer hitting Beaker (from The Muppet Show with Jean Pierre-Rampal)
• Harry and Yorrick watching Sam on TV (from Sam and Friends)
• Grover falling into the Monsterpiece Theater set (from the Monsterpeice Theater: The 39 Stairs segment on Sesame Street)
• Kermit and Elmo fighting over Kermit's microphone (from the Sesame Street News segment where Elmo invents The Reporter Game on Sesame Street)
• The Newsman getting eaten by his desk (from The Muppet Show with Vincent Price)
• The Muppets String Quartet (from The Ed Sullivan Show)
• Baby Kermit as Charlie Brown (from the Muppet Babies episode Comic Capers)
• Fuzzy and Blue (and Orange) (from Sesame Street)
• a scene from the Fraggle Rock epsisode Beginnings, where Gobo tells the others about having to pick up postcards from Uncle Matt
• Junior Gorg, Mokey, and Flang Doozer from the World of Harmony song (from the Fraggle Rock episode The Great Radish Famine)
• Wembly flying (from the Fraggle Rock episode Wembly's Flight)
• a shot from the carol sing in A Muppet Family Christmas (the room where Kermit was in)
• another shot from the carol sing in A Muppet Family Christmas (the room where Big Bird was in)
• multiple Beaker's appearing backstage (from The Muppet Show with Mac Davis)
• Big Bird rollerskating (from Follow That Bird)
• the Sesame Street cast waving goodbye as various cars leave to look for Big Bird (from Follow That Bird)
• Kermit, Fozzie, and Gonzo being thrown out of a bus (from The Great Muppet Caper)
• Gonzo as Super Gonzo (from the Muppet Babies epsiode Noisey Neighbors)
• Red Fraggle as Inspector Red with the Inkspots (from the Fraggle Rock episode Inspector Red)
• Ethel Merman and the Mupets at the end of here's No Buisness Like Show Buisness (from The Muppet Show with Ethel Merman)
• The Raggmopps (from The Muppet Show with Lena Horne)
• the main animals from The Muppet Musicians of Bremen playing music
• the villians from The Muppet Musicians of Bremen looking over their stolen goods
• Snuffy in If I Was a Cloud in the Sky (from Sesame Street)
• Kermit with monsters demosntrating big, bigger, and biggest (from Sesame Street)
• Big Bird and Barkley on the great wall of china (from Big Bird in China)
• various monsters fallign into Julei Andrew's dressing room (from The Muppet Show with Julie Andrews)
• Kermit and Lindberg getting out of Digit's brain (from The Jim Henson Hour episode Science Fiction)
• Rizzo in Gonzo's popcorn (from Muppet Classic Theater)
• Wipe Out
• a clip of Kermit, Private I (from Little Muppet Monsters)
• a clip of Big Bird's cameo from The Muppet Movie
• a clip of Oscar's cameo from The Great Muppet Caper
• a clip of the Sesame Street cast at the wedding in The Muppets Take Manhattan
• The Extremes performing Maneater (from The Jim Henson Hour episode Aquatic Life)
• The Seven Deadley Sins Pageant (from The Muppet Show: Sex and Violence)
• the Muppet Babies getting ready to listne to the radio (from Musical Muppets)
• Gonzo accidently setting Rizzo's tail on fire (from The Muppet Chrismas Carol)
• Scrooge with the Muppets from the end of The Muppet Christmas Carol
• Beaker's eyes lighting up (from he Fantastic Miss Piggy Story)
• Beaker's eyes lighting up (from The Great Muppet Caper)
• The Jugband performing (from the Happiness Hotel number in The Great Muppet Caper)
• Statler, Waldorf, Pops, and the Atrics singing at the end of The Muppets: A Celebration of 30 Years
• Kermit swimming (from The Frog Prince)
• Marvin Suggs tuning up in Lady of Spain (from The Muppet Show with Rita Moreno)
• the Frackles calling out their names (from The Great Santa Claus Switch)
• Thog dancing with Kaye Balard (from The Muppet Show with Kaye Ballard)
• the house falling apart in Life Gets Tedious (from The Muppet Show with Kaye Ballard)
• the ending of Why Can't We Be Friends? (from The Muppet Show with John Denver)
• a clip from Country Music with the Mupets
• Rowlf and Fozzie playing the piano (from The Muppet Show with Jaye P. Morgan)
• a tree falling on Wayne and Wanda (from The Muppet Show with Bruce Forsythe)
• Sweetums running out of a tent (from The Muppet Movie)
• Bruno rollerskating (from Big Bird's Birthday)
• Don't Blame the Dynamite (from The Muppet Show with Dom DeLuise)
• Kermit riding a bike in The Muppets Valentine Show
• a shot of Statler and Waldorf from The Muppet Show: Sex and Violence
• The Swedish Chef being attacked by lobsters (from The Muppet Show with Madeline Kahn)
• the Just One Person finale from The Muppets Celerbate Jim Henson
• a group shot from the Gotta Get That Name number (from Muppet Classic Theater)
• the end of the opening number from The Muppets Go to the Movies

This all ends with a logo reading "The Muppets Celebrate 40 Years", featuring an illustrated Kermit head inside the 0. It appears over a shot of Muppets in a setting similar to (if not the same as) the set from The Muppets: A Celebration of 30 Years, filled with Muppets (I'll lsit who is where after I complete this script).

Announcer: Welcome to The Muppets Celebrate 40 Years! A 40th anniversary special starring every Muppet, except for those who couldn't make it. And now, here is Kermit the Frog!
(the audience applauds)
Kermit: Thank you, thank you. Welcome to our 40th anniversary party. We celebrated our 30th anniversary ten years ago, and figured we'd do somethign simialr. A lot has happened in ten years.
Fozzie: But first...
Kermit: Uh, Fozzie, what are you doing?
Fozzie: I'm introducing clips from our 30th anniversary special.
Kermit: Good grief. (scrunches mouth)
Fozzie: Here are some clips from our 30th anniversary special!

Clips

• Fozzie giving thanks to Kermit, before the "When I Grow Too Old to Dream" clip plays
• Waldorf commenting on being 30

(the audience cheers)

Kermit: I just hope I don't get as much praise as I did ten years ago. Anyway, I was hoping that we would start at the beginning. It all began in 1955, when I was part of the cast of Sam and Friends.

Clips

• Sam and Kermit lip-synch to That Old Black Magic
• Where Hunger Comes From
• Powder-Burn
• Poison to Poison

(the audience cheers)

Kermit: Shortly after Sam and Friends began, the Muppets appeared in commercials.
Statler: I really like commercials.
Waldorf: Yeah, it keeps us from watching the actual program.
(Statler and Waldorf laugh)

Clips
[*]three Wilkins Coffee commercials
[*]La Chow Chow Mein comercial that takes palce at the supermarket
[*]a Royal Crown Cola commercial
[*]a Kraml milk commercial
[*]a Potoroid commercial
[*]four Purina Dog Chow commercials[/LIST]

(Rowlf nods his head as the audienc echeers)
Kermit: Our very own Rowlf the Dog starred in commercials for Purina Dog Chow, and soon became a star on The Jimmy Dean Show.

(five clips from The Jimmy Dean Show are shown)

Kermit: And around that time, us Muppets were appearing on coutnless television shows.
Miss Piggy: Moi was in big demand.
Gonzo: We all were.
Rizzo: I wasn't.
Miss Piggy: And with good reason, too.

Clips

• I've Grown Accustoemd to Your Face (from The Tonight Show)
• Scryapp Flyapp (from The Today Show)
• Buisness, Buisness (from The Ed Sullivan Show)
• a clip of the Muppets appearance on The Mike Douglas Show
• a clip of Kermit hosting The Tonight Show
• a clip of the Muppets on The Merv Griffin Show

Robin: And soon, we got our ticket to stardom.
Kermit: Yes, but it'll have to wait.
Robin: For how long?
Kermit: For a commercial break.
Announcer: That's right. It's time for a commercial. When we get back, we'll have more Muppet madness.

 

[MartyMuppets]

I hope the commercial break is over soon. It's about time we had another helping of good old Muppet madness.

 

[minor muppetz]

Announcer: And now, here is Big Bird and the cast of Sesame Street!
(a brief instrumental version of the Sesame Street theme plays as the audience applauds)
Big Bird: Thank you, thank you. I am very happy to be here.
Snuffy: Me, too!
Cookie Monster: Me very impatient!
Big Bird: Why's that?
Cookie Monster: Me not have any cookies yet!
Herry Monster: The cookies will come soon.
Elmo: Yeah!
Cookie Monster: Me certainly hope so!
(Grover comes by)
Grover: Hello, I am Grover, I am your waiter....
Big Bird: Yes, we all know you.
Kermit: Hey, Grover...
Grover: Oh, hey, froggy baby!
Kermit: (scrunching mouth) Uh, why aren't you just sitting with your friends enjoying the special?
Grover: I have to make a living, froggy. Now, what would everyone like?
The Count: I would like one of every item!
Snuffy: I'd like some cabbage.
Big Bird: Now, wait! Before we order, I would like to say that I'm happy to have lived on Sesame Street all these years.
Zoe: Me, too!
Elmo: Sesame Street is a great place to live.
Zoe: And a great show, too!
Oscar: And I can't wait until this special is over!
Kermit: And did you know that I am the one who came up with the show's title.
All: Oh.

(a clip from the Sesame Street pitch reel is shown, where Kermit suggests a show title)

The Count: That was one, one good clip!
Prairie Dawn: Yes, and in addition to this being the Muppets 40th birthday, Sesame Street has taught us how to count up to 40.
The Count: Yes, but why stop there? Let's count it higher...
Oscar: Oh, just roll the clips!

Clips
An audio version of the then-current version of the theme plays over these clips:

• Big Bird and Snuffy, from My Best Friend
• Ernie and Bert observing statues that look like them
• Grover bringing in a giant hamburger
• Kermit interviewing Humpty Dumpty
• the Muppets singing while in the door, from Do De Rubber Duck
• Biff and Sully accidently breaking a dog house
• Grover and cast holding up a number 2
• Elmo dancing, from the Happy Tapping number
• Herry talking to John-John
• The Count counting flowers
• Cookie Monster driving a train through the Beat the Time set
• Bert comming out of a flower pot, from A Flower Grows
• Little Jerry and the Monotones in a telephone booth
• Lefty shows Ernie an 8
• Oscar and Tely, in a Sneak Peek Previews sketch
• Admiral Bird
• a shot of the Twiddlebugs, from Get Along
• Don Music banging his head on a piano
• The Amazing Mumford makes cookies disapear
• Grover and Herry race in Monsterpeice Theater: Chariots of Fur

And then the following clips are seen and heard:

• Bert tells Ernie that he has a banana in his ear
• Super Grover teaches Super Elmo how to be a super hero
• The Martians observe a phone
• Grover puts ears on Kermit
• The Geefle and the Gonk
• Wheels on my Feet
• The Count introduces himself on Beat the Time
• Jim Carrey shows his happy feet to Elmo and Telly
• Kermit and Joey recite the alphabet
• Mmmmonster Meal

(the audience is seen cheering. A table of grouches is seen jeering)

Oscar: What a pathetic selection of clips.
Robin: But after that, the Muppets, including my uncle Kermit, went on to bigger and better things.
Miss Piggy: That's right. Soon, we became stars outside of educational television, and our frequent specials and guest appearances.
Kermit: We all got to be part of The Muppet Show.

(the audience applauds)

Clips
First, audio of the theme song plays over clips from the show. Clips include:

• Kermit on stage giving an introduction
• Fozzie bringing Chuckie on-stage (from the Edgar Bergin episode)
• Gonzo hanging by his nose on a feather boa (from the Teressa Brewer episode)
• the creature from The Windmills of Your Mind as a patient in Veterinarian's Hospital (from the Don Knotts episode)
• Does Your Chewing Gum Lose It's Flavor on the Bedpost Overnight? (from the Charles Aznavour episode)
• Bunsen showing off the gorilla detector
• Rowlf playing You and I and George (from the Juliet Prowse episode)
• Zoot and Mahna Mahna playing Sax and Violence (from the Connie Stevens episode)
• the swintetrek doors close on Link's head (from the Madeline Kahn episode)
• Patrol Bear Fozzie gets attacked by an octopus
• George and Mildred dance in At the Dance
• The Country Trio play To Morrow (from the Rita Moreno episode)
• The Swedish Chef throws a chickden through a basketball hoop (from the Raquel Welch episode)
• Sam the Eagle reads the poem of the ant and the grasshoper (from the Bernadette Peters episode)

That montage ends with the ending shot of the theme song being seen, beginning with Kermit saying "It's time to get things started". Gonzo blows green smoke out of his trumpet.

And then the following clips are shown:

• Good Grief! the Comedian's a Bear! (from the Harvey Korman episode)
• The Swinetrek crew tries to figure out what is comming at them (from the Milton Berle episode)
• Bunsen shows off Beaker's elevador shoes (from the Kris Kristofferson and Rita Cooledge episode)
• Disco Frog (from the Christopher Reeve episode)
• Rockin' Robin (from the Jean Pierre-Rampal episode)
• Danny Boy (from the Wally Boag episode)
• The Newsman reports on beef falling dramatically
• Ukelelee Lady (from the Lou Rawls episode)
• Fleet Scribbler interviews Miss Piggy (from the George Burns episode)
• We've Got Each Other (from the John Cleese episode)
• Mupet Sports: Wig Racing (from the Marissa Berensen episode)
• The Swedish Chef makes spaghetti (from the Sandy Duncan episode)
• Sam gives a speech on nudity (from the Nancy Walker episode)
• Beauregard appears as the patient in Veterinarian's Hospital (from the Gene Kelly episode)
• It Was a Very Good Year (from the Linda Lavin episode)
• Six String Orchestra (from the Star Wars episode)
• New York State of Mind (from the Madeline Kahn episode)

(a shot of a table where some supporting Mupet Show characters sit at is shown)
Bunsen: What great memories.
Beaker: Mee mee mee mee.
Sam the Eagle: But why couldn't they have chosen more dignified clips?
Lew Zealand: But you know, The Muppet Show also had a great amount of guest stars.

Clips
[*]Rita Moreno sings Fever
[*]Harry Belafonte sings Turn the World Around
[*]Madeline Kahn and Doglion in the park
[*]Zero Mostel in his dressing room being eaten
[*]Tony Randall arrives at the theater
[*]Kermit's talk spot with Juliet Prowse
[*]Phyllis George and Rowlf sing Cottleson Pie
[*]Melissa Manchester and the Muppets sing Whenever I Call You Friend
[*]Alice Cooper sings School's Out
[*]Forence Henderson in a panel discussion
[*]Raquel Welch and Miss Piggy sing I'm a Woman
[*]Dom DeLuise and the Muppets sing We Got Us[/LIST]

Miss Piggy: That show certainly made the Muppets into stars, so naturally, it wasn't long before hollywood had asked us to star in movies!

Clips
This clip montage begins with The Magic Store playing over a variety of clips, including:

• shots of the titles from the first four movies
• a shot from the I'm Gonna Always Love You number (from The Mupepts Take Manhattan) (to go with the "it starts when we're kids" line)
• Gonzo and Rizzo fall from a shelf in Scrooge's classroom (from The Muppet Christmas Carol) (to go with the "a show-off in school" line)
• Fozzie entering the stage in sunglasses and Groucho Marx glasses (from The Muppet Movie) (to go wit the "making faces..." line)
• the Muppets walking past their friends before going on-stage to perform in Manhattan Melodies (from The Muppets Take Manhattan)
  (to go along with the "..and friends" line)
• Fozzie opens the door to tell everyone that they can join Kermit on his date with Lady Holiday (from The Great Muppet Caper)
• Beauregard drives through the Happiness Hotel (from The Great Muppet Caper)
• a shot of singing food (from The Great Muppet Caper)
• a shot of singing food (from The Muppet Christmas Carol)
• Gonzo holds onto balloons (from The Muppet Movie)
• Gonzo jumps in front of a taxi (from The Great Muppet Caper)
• Gonzo waterskis (from The Muppets Take Manhatan)
• Gonzo and Rizzo hold onto a rope and get past a bird (from The Muppet Christmas Carol)
• Kermit and Fozzie look in the mirror (from The Great Muppet Caper) (to go along with the "look in the mirror" line)

And then the next parts of the song are seen as well as heard, until it gets past all the characters. And then the following clips are seen over audio from the rest of the song:

• the Muppets being excited over seeing Kermit again after he's been missing (to go with the "if somebody out there loves you" line)
• Gonzo gets his nose stuck in an elevador (from The Great Muppet Caper)
• The Muppets sit in their lockers (from The Muppets Take Manhattan)
• Sweetums turns a fly into a decimal (from The Muppet Movie)
• The Electric Mayhem performing on a double-decker bus
• Kermit ice skating (from The Mupet Christmas Carol)
• the Muppets cheering in the screening room at the end of The Muppet Movie

And then the following clips are shown, and heard:

• Kermit and Rowlf sing I Hope That Something Better Comes Along (from The Muppet Movie)
• Couldn't We Ride (from The Great Muppet Caper)
• Lew Zealand throws fish at a 3D movie (from The Muppets Take Manhattan)
• Bless Us All (from The Muppet Christmas Carol)
• Rizzo observes singing grapes (from The Muppet Christmas Carol)
• Rat Scat (from The Muppets Take Manhatan)
• the wedding sequence (from The Mupepts Take Manhattan)

Miss Piggy: I really like that scene.
Kermit: But remember, it was only a play sequence in a movie, not reality.
Miss Piggy: But we were married in the next movie.
Kermit: That was just a movie, where we played roles.
Miss Piggy: (to audience) He tries show hard to keep things a secret.
Gonzo: And now we have a new movie comming soon.
Rizzo: We most certainly do. It's called Muppet Treasure Island.
Gonzo: And here are the villians from our next movie.

(the audience cheers as Mad Monty, Polly Lobster, and Clueless Morgan appear a ttheir table)

Mad Monty: I really hope that the next Muppet mopvie makes us into stars.
Clueless Morgan: I'm not smart enough for a real job.
Polly Lobster: You've got that right.
Mad Monty: Let's show some clips!
Clueless Morgan: Chips? What chips?
Polly Lobster: He said clips, you nitwit!
Clueless Morgan: Oh, I'm so sorry.
Mad Monty: You shouldn't be. You're a villian.
Clueless Morgan: Oh, yeah.

Clips

• Cabin Fever
• Captain Smollet and Benjamina Gunn being reunited
• the villians stretching Gonzo's arms and legs

Big Bird: And don't forget that the cast of Sesame Street has also starred in a movie.
Kermit: Oh, that's right. How could anybody forget Follow That Bird?
Statler: Well, we haven't seen it!
(Statler and Waldorf laugh)
Oscar: Maybe I should join them.
Fozzie: Anyway, here are clips from Follow That Bird.

Clips

• There Ain't No Road To Long
• Big Bird introduces himself to the Dodo's
• Maria and Oscar at the grouch resturaunt
• The Count tells Big Bird "don't forget to count", Grover tells Big Bird "don't forget to breathe", and Cookie Monster tells Big Bird "don't forget to eat"

Announcer: When we get back, we get to see clips from Fraggle Rock and Mupet Babies, plus a sneak peek at the Muppets newest TV show. I hope I didn't forget to mention anything.

 

[minor muppetz]

Kermit: And now, here is the cast of Fraggle Rock.
(the table where the Fraggle Rock cast sits is shown, as the audience applauds)
Gobo Fraggle: Thank you. We are so happy to be out her ein outer space...
(the Martians then pop up)
Martians: Outer space. outer space. Yip yip yip yip yip yip... (they walka way. The fraggles all look confused)
Gobo: Anyway, Fraggle Rock is a great place for us to live.
Mokey: And a great show for kids.
Red: You're right about that.
Boober: I don't watch shows.
Wembly: I had trouble deciding on comming here.
Traveling Matt: And of course, in outer space, silly creatures could watch us whenever we're on.
Boober: I'm scarred.
Statler: Of course, we can just change the chanel.
(Statler and Waldorf laugh)
Sam the Eagle: I don't see how Fraggle Rock could appeal to american audiences.
Kermit: Well, Fraggle Rock was made for audiences around the world.
Waldorf: And it's very timeless.
Statler: That's more than I can say for you!
(everybody laughs, except Waldorf)

Clips
The following clips are shown over audio of the theme song:

• Red tells Gobo that he should diet (from The Challenge)
• the doozers eat doozer sticks (from The Preachification of Convincing John)
• Gobo rides on a slippery leaf (from A Friend in Need)
• Matt disguises himself as a pig (from I Want to Be You)
• a scene with Sidebottom (from Boober's Dream)
• a shot of the Doozer's from the Yes, We Can number (from All Work, All Play)
• Junior and Ma dancing (from Blanket of Snow, Blanket of Woe)
• a shot of Red, Cotterpin, the magic mirror, and Ma Gorg (from Mirror, Mirror)
• the Fraggles preparing to make a big radish (from The Great Radish Caper)
• Junior catching some fraggles (from I Want to Be You)
• a shot fo Red and a dragon (from Red's Dragon)

And then the following clips are shown:

• Follow Me (from Beginnings)
• Working (from Thirty Minute Work Week)
• Gifts from the Dear Heart of Thee (from whatever the gorgs anniversary episode is)
• Wembly on top of water splashing from the ground (I think this is from an episode titled Wembly's Wonderfall Waterfall Whoopee)
• We Are the Children of Tomorrow (from Tune for Two)
• Doc finally sees Gobo (from The Honk of Honks)
• Our Melody (from The Minstrels)

Wembly: And after our show ended, we appeared in animated form.

(a montage of clips from the animated Fraggle Rock is shown)

Kermit: Of course, we are getting ahead of ourselves. Us Muppets have already been animated when we were babies.
Fozzie: Though I thought we didn't meet until we were all grown up.
Kermit: Uh, that was just a movie. And I guess Muppet Babies was just a series.

Clips

• the Muppet Babies theme
• the Muppet babies get on top of each other to find Animal, only for Gonzo to find a spider (from Raiders of the Lost Muppet)
• the babies meet Baby Janice (from Whose Tale is it Anyway?)
• Kermit tries to teach about the letter B (from Gonzee's Playhouse Chanel)
• Good Things Happen in the Dark (from Who's Afraid of the Big Bad Dark)
• Fozzie in a comic strip (from The Daily Muppet)

Robin: There was also a Muppet Show called Little Muppet Monsters.
(the monsters are seen cheering)
(a montage of clips from Little Muppet Monsters is shown)
(the cast of Dog City is seen at a table)
Elliot Shag: Of course, if you want real animation, you should check out my cartoons from Dog City.
Artie: Theya re really the best.
Elliot Shag: And I can interract with my creation.

(a few clips from Dog City are shown)

(the cast of The Animal Show is seen sitting at another table)

Stinky: And if you want animals...
Jake: You should watch The Animal Show, with me, Jake.
Stinky: And me, Stinky.
Jake: Here are some clips.

(a few clips from The Animal Show are shown)

(Digit coems up to the podeum)
Digit: Hi, I'm Digit. You may not remember me, but I was one of the elads from The Jim Henson Hour, a show you may not remember.
Kermit: I remember it. I hosted it.
(cut to Bean Bunny at a table with othe rrabbits)
Bean: And I was in it, too! And I was so cute in it.
(everyone moans)
Digit: Oh. Anyway, here are some scenes from that show.

Clips

• Sweet Vacation (from The Ratings Game)
• Nylon Dance (from Science Fiction
• Beaker demonstrates exercise shoes (from Health and Fitness)
• Chattanooga Choo-Choo (from Science Fiction)
• Bobby McFerrin and graffitti muppets scat (from The Ratings Game)
• The Music Just Keeps Us Rolling Along (from Musicians)

Kermit: But now, you may or may not know that the Muppets will soon be starring in another series.
(everybody applauds, except for Statler, Waldorf, and the grouches)
Statler: Another series?
Waldorf: Weren't The Muppet Show and The Jim Henson Hour bad enough for them?
Kermit: Anyway, here is the hsot of our new show, Clifford!
(everyone cheers as Clifford comes up to the podeum)
Clifford: Thank you, thank you. I hope that this new show is successful. I also hope to become "man of the year". Anyhoo, here is a sneak peek at our new show, which will show how I got the job as the shows host.

(the bad plays a few bars of the Muppets Tonight theme before the clip of Muppets Tonight's first scene is shown)

Announcer: When we get back, we'll see the bes tof Muppet explosions, eating, greatest hits, and more.... Maybe.

 

[minor muppetz]

Statler: Well, I'm certainly enjoying the commercial break.
Waldorf: Yeah, it's only too bad we're missing the commercials.
(Statler and Waldorf laugh)
(Oscar coems to them)
Oscar: Hey, you two must have all kinds of fun complaining.
Waldorf: Yeah, it's what we do best.
Oscar: I like complaining, too.
Statler: Hmm, maybe we can all hate the show together.
Telly: Hey, Oscar, where have you been?
Oscar: I'm having a chat with the two old men who also hate being here.
Telly: Oh.

(Grover goes to the Fraggle stable)
Grover: Okay, who ordered radishes and who ordered doozer sticks?
Red: We all did.
Gobo: We each ordered three radishes and three doozer sticks.
Grover: Oh.

Beauregard: This sure is a long commercial break.
Beaker: Mee mee mee meee.
Sam the Eagle: Well, I am in no hurry for the commercials to end.
Lew Zealand: Why not?
Sam the Eagle: Because commercials pay for important TV programs. Uh, not that this program is important, or anything.

Bean: Well, most of the clips that have been shown were so cute, right?
Rabbits: Yeah!
Billy Bunny: You said it.

Fat Blue: Waiter, I still haven't had any service!
Grover: Oh, I am so sorry, sir. I am Grover, your waiter. What do you want?
Fat Blue: I want a hamburger and some fries.
Grover: Oh, I am so sorry, we are all out. In fact, we are all out of everything.
Fat Blue: I should have known.
(The Honker's start honking)
Fat Blue: Will you all cut that out!

Big Bird: Well, I'm having the time of my life.
Snuffy: Me, too.
Bert: Yeah, the oatmeal is good.
Ernie: So is the pizza.
The Count: And so is the nubmers soup!
All: Numbers soup?

Animal: END COMMERCIAL BREAK NOW! ARRRGGHHH! (starts hitting drums)
Floyd: Uh, welcome back to the special.
Animal: Yeah!
Floyd: Over the years, the Muppets have performed music.
Animal: MUSIC!
Floyd: In the early years of the Muppets, the Muppets lip synched to records, before actually singing. Our first big hit was Ernie's "Rubber Duckie".
(Ernie is seen sqeuaking his duckie and lauhging)
Bert: ER-NIE!
Floyd: Robin's "Halfway Down the Stairs" became a hit in europe. Two of the Muppets songs, "The Rainbow Connection" and "The First Time it Hapens", were nominated for best song at the academy awards.
Waldorf: Yeah, but they were only nominated.
(everyone laughs)
Floyd: The Muppets have also had many grammy nominations. But now, here are some of the Muppets greatest hits of all time.

Clips

• The Rainbow Connection (from The Mupet Movie)
• The First Time It Happens (from The Great Muppet Caper)
• Rubber Duckie (second version from Sesame Street)
• I've Never Hamred an Onion, So Why Do They Make Me Cry? (from The Muppet Show with Ruth Buzzi)
• Mississippi Mud (from The Mupet Show with Phyllis Diller)
• Happy Feet (from The Muppet Show with Madeline Kahn)
• I Get Around (from The Muppet Show with Ann Murray)
• Feelings (from The Muppet Show with Diana Ross)
• Kokomo
• The Rock Goes On (from the Fraggle Rock episode The Honk of Honks)
• Tenderly (from The Muppet Show with Avery Scrieber)
• This Frog (from Sesame Street)
• C is for Cookie (from Sesame Street)
• Grouch Anthem (from Follow That Bird)
• You're Special to Me (from the Muppet Babies episode My Muppet Valentine)
• Convincing John (from the Fraggle Rock episode The Preachification of Convincing John)
• What Now My Love? (from The Muppet Show with Candice Bergin)
• She Drives Me Crazy
• Proud to be a Cow (from Sesame Street)
• TV Maniacs (from the Muppet Babies episode I Want My Muppet TV)
• Dance Myself to Sleep (from Sesame Street)
• Mahna Mahna (from The Muppet Show with Juliet Prowse)
• Count it Higher (from Sesame Street)
• Halfway Down the Stairs (from The Mupet Show with Harvey Korman)
• Bein' Green (from The Muppet Show with Peter Sellers)

(the musicians cheer)

Miss Piggy: All of those were great hits, but here are some of moi's greatest hits.

Clips

• 
  Rock music plays over the clips.
• Miss Piggy karate chops Kermit after Lydia the Tattooed Lady (from The Muppet Show with Connie Stevens)
• Miss Piggy karate chosp Kermit during the Kokomo music video
• Miss Piggy karate chosp Avery Scrieber
• Miss Piggy karate chops Animal (from The Muppet Show with Rich Little)
• MIss Piggy karate chops Kermit (from The Muppets Take Manhattan)
• Miss Piggy karate chops Fozzie (from The Muppet Show with Candice Bergin)
• Miss Piggy karate chops Kermit and Gonzo (from The Muppet Show with Mummenshaz)
• Miss Piggy karate chops Gonzo (from The Muppet Show with Madeline Kahn)
• Miss Piggy karate chops Charlie McCarthy (from The Mupet Show with Edgar Bergin)

Cookie Monster: And now, here are some great moments involving eating.
The Swedish Chef: Oh, yuh! Moopets eet all der dym!
Cookie Monster: You said it.

Clips
Jazz music plays over these clips.
[*]Behemoth eats Shakey Shanchez (from The Muppet Show with Vincent Price)
[*]Sweetums eats Candice Bergin's camera (from The Mupet Show with Candice Bergin)
[*]various clips of Cookie Monster eating cookies
[*]Cookie Monster eating a typewriter (from Christmas Eve on Sesame Street)
[*]various clips of fraggles eating doozer buildings
[*]Ernie eating a jellybean (from Sesame Street)
[*]Luncheon Counter Monster eats some numbers (from The Jim Henson Hour episode Monster Telethon)
[*]Gorgon Heap and Vincent Price trying to eat Kermit (from The Muppet Show with Vincent Price)
[*]an alligator eats a frog (from The Muppet Show with Sandy Duncan)
[*]Yorrick tries to eat Kermit (from The Muppets: A Celebration of 30 Years)
[*]Cookie Monster eats Kermit's W (from Sesame Street)
[*]Doglion eats Luncheon Counter Monster (from The Jim Henson Hour episode Food)
[*]Cookie Monster finishes off the volkswagon (from Follow That Bird)
[*]Baby Anmal eats a dinner train (from the Muppet Babies episode The Frog Who Knew Too Much)
[*]Animal tries to eat drums (from The Muppet Movie)
[*]Animal eats a seat cushion (from The Muppet Movie)
[*]Cookie Monster finishes off a christmas tree (from Christmas Eve on Sesame Street)
[*]Cookie Monster eats Bert's camera (from Sesame Street: 20 and Still Counting)
[*]Cookie Monster eats an award envelope (from Monster Hits!)
[*]Mean Mama eats Miss Piggy (from The Muppet Show with Carol Burnett)
[*]Gorgon Heap eats Baskerville (from The Mupet Show with Joel Grey)[/LIST]

(the monsters cheer)
Cookie Monster: Those clips are so delicious!

Crazy Harry: Heh heh heh, and now here are some of our most explosive moments! (pushes down plunger)

Clips

• 
  Clips are played to classical music.
• Crazy Harry sets off an explosion at the end of Love is a Simple Thing (from The Muppets Valentine Show)
• Crazy Harry sets off an explosion in Sttaler and Waldorf's balcony (from The Muppet Show with Sandy Duncan)
• Wilkins blows up wontkins (from a Wilkins Coffee commercial)
• Bunsen's clothes explode (from The Muppet Show with Phyllis Diler)
• explosions at the end of Danger (from Sesame Street)
• Crazy Harry holds a bomb during Kermit's introduction (from The Muppet Show with Ben Vereen)
• Jaye P. Morgan blows her top
• The Swedish Chef's cocanut becomes a bomb (from The Muppet Show with Jaye P. Morgan)
• The Newsman blows up (from The Muppet Show with Madeline Kahn)
• Fozzie finds out that the fuse of his bomb is lit (from Muppet Moments)
• Beaker makes an explosion (from Rock Music with the Muppets)
• Statler's cigar blows up (from The Mupet Show with Jaye P. Morgan)
• a chicken lays a bomb for The Swedish Chef (from The Muppet Show with Bernadette Peters)
• Beaker's nose warmer starts exploding (from The Muppet Show with Teressa Brewer)
• Beaker's hair blasts off (from The Muppet Show with Julie Andrews)
• the bucket on Beaker's head blasts off (from The Muppets at Walt Disney World)
• The Swedish Chef's hat blasts off (from The Muppet Show with Candice Bergin)
• Dr. Bob's patient explodes (from The Muppet Show with Harvy Korman)
• Dr. Teeth tells Crazy Harry that the movie is dynamite (from The Muppet Movie)

Bean: Those explosions were not cute at all!
(Bean then gets blown up)
Crazy Harry: Was that one cute? (laughs hysterically)
(cut to table of grouches)
Oscar: I really like those explosions. But did you know that the Mupets also care for the environment? So throw your trahs at us!
Grouches: Yeah!

Clips

• I Love Trash (from Sesame Street, 1991 version)
• Oscar's Junk Band (from Sesame Street)
• On My Pond (from Sesame Street)
• Kermit and Fozzie go fishing (from a National Wildlife Federation commercial)
• Grover tells a camper not to pour water out of his canteen (from Sing-Along Earth Songs)
• The Garden Song (from Sesame Street)
• Keep the Park Clean for the Pigeons (from Sesame Street)
• Take 'Em Away (from Rocky Mountain Holiday)
• Smarter Than Man (from The Muppet Show with Joan Baez)
• Bunsen presents his automatic waste basket (from The Muppet Show with Bob Hope)
• scenes from the Fraggle Rock episode The River of Life
• We Are All Earthlings (from Sesame Street)

Announcer: When we get back, we'll give you a surprise tribute. Hmmm, I wonder who it could be for...

 

[minor muppetz]

Kermit: And now it's time for a special surprise tribute to the man responsible for all of us, Jim Henson.
(the audience cheers)
Fozzie: I remember the time when we first heard of Jim Henson, and when we first heard that he died.

Clips

• the Muppets read letters from Jim Henson's fans, and find out in the process that he died (from The Muppets Celebrate Jim Henson)
• Jim Henson introduces himself and says that his act is called "The Muppets" (from The Muppets on Puppets)
• Jim Henson says that the Muppets will be around for as long as the fans want them around (from Henson's Place)

This is followed by a montage of clips and still mages of Jim Henson, from interviews, behind-the-scenes footage, The Jim Henson Hour introductions, Time Piece, and Henson's cameos from The Muppets: A Celebration of 30 Years, The Mupets Go Hollywood, Sesame Street: 20 and Still Counting, The Jim Henson Hour pitch tape, and A Muppet Family Christmas. Various Mupets talk in voice-over during these clips. Footage from various creature shop productions are also shown when mentioned.

Kermit: Jim Henson brought us Muppets to life.
Miss Piggy: He was truly a great man.
Fozzie: He accomplished many things.
Rizzo: He wrote, directed, produced, designed and built many of us...
Gonzo: And he also did something that has to do with puppets.
Kermit: He made a great 10-minute film called Timepiece, which he starred in, wrote, directed, produced, and even did his own stunts. I did the same in my movies.
Gonzo: And later in his life, he formed Jim Henson's Creature Shop, bringing to life movies such as The Dark Crystal and Labrynth.
Robin: His creature shop also brought us Dreamchild, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and The Flinstones, among others.
Rizzo: It also brought us commercials, and such television shows as The Storyteller and Dinosaurs.
Fozzie Bear: He was truly a legeand.

(the clips end)

Kermit: So we've had a great 40 years, thanks to Jim Henson, who was there for our first 35 years.
(the Muppets are all in tears, even the grouches)
(suddenly more clips are shown)
Miss Piggy: What the...?

Clips

• Easy is the Only Way to Go (from the Fraggle Rock episode New Trash Heap in Town)
• Kermit's "I've got a dream too" speech (from The Mupet Movie)
• Fozzie is convinced that he's the best straight man in the buisness (from The Muppet Show with Ruth Buzzi)

Fozzie: Ahhh, there's one of my great moments.
Waldorf: Huh, they are showing random clips nonstop.
Statler: Make it stop, please!
Fozzie: Hey, ma, what's going on?
(cut to Emily Bear, standing behind a projector)
Emily: I don't know. This projector is suddenly acting up.
Grover: Oh, let me help you with that. (hits the projector) Oh, no, the clips are going faster.

Clips

• 
  Now a few short clips are shown, being fast-forwarded.
• Kermit, Fozzie, and Gonzo quickly get into their reporters outfits (from The Great Muppet Caper)
• frogs attack Taminella (from The Frog Prince)
• Leroy jumps in the air after deciding to become a traveling musician (from The Muppet Musicians of Bremen)
• various Muppets ask Gonzo who was on the phone (from the Jim Henson Hour special The Secrets of the Muppets)
• Harvey Kneeslapper slaps a B on a victim (from Sesame Street)
• The Electric Mayhem, from the "We're Not Gonna Stop" number (from The Muppets at Walt Disney World)
• Gonzo takes a picture of the Muppets, giving them small pupils (from The Great Muppet Caper)

Grover: Maybe I should hit it again. (hits projector) There, now it's back to normal speed.
Oscar: Oh, rats. I liked it better when it was too fast to understand.

Clips

• Get Up, Turn Around, Crossover (from the Fraggle Rock episode The Beast of Blue Rock)
• Fozzie sings "Money" (from Good Morning America)
• the Gortch Mupets try to cure Ploobis of his migrane (from Saturday Night Live)
• Scary Mary tries to scare her brother (from Muppet Time)
• Alien Opera (from Muppet Time)
• The Two Little Pigs sing "We Did It Ourselves" (from Mupet Time)
• Show Me Some Respect (from Muppet Classic Theater)
• Scred and Lilly Tomlin sing I've Got You Babe (from Saturday Night Live)
• Jingle Bell Rock (from A Muppet Family Christmas)
• The Twelve Days of Christmas (from A Christmas Together)
• Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas (from Christmas Eve on Sesame Street)
• You Make Me Feel Like Dancing (from The Muppet Show with Leo Sayer)
• Carbon Paper (from The Muppet Show with Leo Sayer)
• Leo and Grump as Mr. Right and Mr. Wrong (from a Muppet Meeting Film)
• The Mighty Fuvog tells the Gortch Muppets to get in the trunk (from Saturday Night Live)
• The Three Muskateers (from The Muppets Go to the Movies)
• Snacksersize (from The Fantastic Miss Piggy Show)
• Leo's "sell, sell, sell!" speech (from the first Muppet Meeting Film)
• The Future is Counting on You (from the Mupet Babies episode Muppet Babies: The Next Generation)

Mokey: Hmm, that should have been in the environmental clip montage.
Red: I agree.

(finally, The Rainbow Connection finale is shown. After Sweetums runs through the screen, the projector breaks)

(Animal is seen damaging the projector)
Animal: STOP ACTING UP! YEAHHH!
Emily: Well, that's all folks.

Kermit: Well, that was great, except we have a few minutes left, and now we can't show anymore clips. How do we feel time.
Fozzie: Why don't we all sing a song?
Kermit: Hmm, that sound's great.
Robin: In fact, we can sing a few songs. (starts singing) Sing, sing a song.
Kermit: Sing out loud, sing out strong...
Kermit and Robin: Sing of good things, not bad...
Main Cast: Sing of happy, not sad.
Sesame Street Cast: Can you tell me how to get, how to get to Sesame Street? How to get to Sesame Street?
Fraggles: Music grows in the rose, rocking clouds and the growing snowstorm.
Statler and Waldorf: Everything seems the same, every where we go.

(the orchestra starts playing an instrumental verison of Can You Picture That?)

Kermit: All right, now, everybody!

All: Life is a funny thing, sometimes you laugh and sing....

(cut to shot of the grouches)

...Sometimes we mumble and cuss.

(cut to shot of supporting characters from The Muppet Show)

But either way, what do we care?

(cut to Bobby Benson and his baby band)

We got us!

(cut to the Fraggles)

Some people like to go through their lives single, aw, that wouldn't suit us at all!

(cut to the Doozer's)

Why sing a melody, as a sililoqy...

(cut to the Dog City cast)

When it's more fun to be....

(cut to the monsters)

...Har-mo-niz-ing!

(cut to the Sesame Street cast)

Some people say we are,

(cut to the Animal Show cast)

Crazy the way we are,

(cut to Emily Bear behind the projector)

That we won't even discuss!

(cut to the Muppets at the main table)

But either way, we won't smother!

(cut to the rabbit table)

We trade our life for no other!

(cut to all the characters)

They've only got one another, but we got us!

(Zoot blows a saxaphone note)

(at the main table, the main characters have been joined by Ernie, Bert, Grover, Gobo, Mokey, Red, Boober, Wembly, Floyd, Janice, Animal, Rowlf, Bunsen, Beaker, Stinky, Jake, and Clifford)

Kermit: Well, this has been a great anniversary special.
Miss Piggy: Moi would like to have another one.
Kermit: Well, we can't have another one now.
Clifford: We've got to get working on Muppets Tonight.
Kermit: Oh, yeah! See you all!

(the credits roll over various shots of the audience)

 

[minor muppetz]

the seating chart

Here is a seating layout, though in some scenes seating would be slightly different, characters might be out of camera (perhaps going to the bathroom or something), and also occassionally at other tables (perhaps interracting with other characters).

There would be a high area on the right of the screen, in many shots cut from the camera angels. In the very back of this angel would be the film projector where Emily Bear sits at, operating the projector. In front of her would be tables for the cast of Emmet Otter's Jug-Band Christmas. table at her right front would include Emmet Otter, Ma Otter, Wendell, Charlie, Harvey, and Heddie Muskrat. The table on the left of that would have the riverbottom nightmare band. A table in front of thsoe would have Harrision Fox, Gretchen Fox, Doc Bullfrog, Will Possum, and Old Lady Possum. In front of thsoe tables would include a few tables full of frogs. One table would include Bill, Gil, and Jill, and several other tables there would have generic frogs. The crocodile and smaler crocodiles would be at a table in frotn of them. In frotn of those tables, close to the very front, would be tables of rats, including one with Yolanda, Chester, Tattooey, and Masterson, and the other tables with generic rats. Behind where Emily Bear is would be a table for Bobo (he'd already existed as a generic bear character), Beth Bear, Billy the Bear, and soem forrest animals (including a deer, a beaver, and the porcipine from Billy Bunny's Animal Songs).

Next to that would be the main floor. On the back right of the main floor would be where the monsters, villian-type characters and weird-looking creatures would sit. The very back would be a table or booth for Behemoth, Doglion, Sweetums, Carl (he'd already apeared in a Muppet Meeting Film), and Mulch. In front of them would be a table consisting of Mad Monty, Polly Lobster, and Clueless Morgan. Next to that would be a table for Old Tom, Real Old Tom, Dead Tom, the purple pirate from Muppet Treasure Island, and Blind Pew. In front of Mad Monty, Polly Lobster, and Clueless Morgan's table would be a table with Quongo, Black Dog, the wolf from Muppet Classic Theater, the green frackle who resembled Boppity, the pink frackle who resembled Boppity, Boppity, Aretha, and Luncheon Counter Monster. Next to them would be a table consisting of The Extremes, and next to them would be a table consisting of the male, female, and baby koozebanians.

In fron of them, on the far right, would be a table with Chip (from The Jim Henson Hour), Milton, Do Rei Me Monster, and Lindberg. Next to that table would be a table for George the Janitor, J.P. Grosse, the David Lazer muppet, Big Head, Leo, and Grump. In front of all of them would be tables filed with bunnies, including one with Bean, Twitch, Lugsy, Bean's parents, and Billy Bunny, and others with various Tales of the Bunny Picnic bunnies and small white bunnies.

In front of the cast of Tales of the Bunny Picnic would be (at the very right) a table filled with Doozers (including Cotterpin, Wrench, Flang, Wignut, and the Architect, plus various generic doozers). Several Fraggles would be at the table on their left, including one table with Gobo, Mokey, Wembly, Boober, and Red, a table with Matt, The Storyteller, Large Marvin, Feenie, Marlon, and Tosh, and a table with Cantus, Murray, Baslam, Brio, and Brool.

Going back to the very back, next to the monsters would be where msot of the Sesame Street characters sit. At the very back would be a big table for Barkley, Big Bird, Snuffy, and Alice. In front of that table on the right would be a table with Cookie Monster, Herry, Ernie, Bert, The Two-Headed Monster, and Prairie Dawn. On the left of that table would be a table with The Count, Countess von Backwards, Meryl Sheep, Elmo, Zoe, Telly, and Rosita. The table on the left o that would include Biff, Roxie Marie, Hoots, Athena, Maurice, Kingston Livingston III, Frazzle, and H. Ross Parrot. More Sesame Street characters would sit on a higher seating level on the right of that, which I'll list later in this post.

In front of those Sesame Street characters, starting on the right to the left, would be a table for Fat Blue, the Martians, and Joey and Davey Monkey, a table with Humphrey, Ingrid, Natasha (in a high chair), Sherry Neverland, and Benny, a table with Oscar, Grundgetta, Irvine, and a few generic grouches, plus Slimey and Stinky the Stinkweed on top of that table, and a few tables with Muppet dogs, includign one with the Dog City cast, including Elliott Shag, Bruno, Bowser, Artie, and Artie's mother, and a table with Baskerville, Sprocket, Undercover Rover, Foo Foo, and Muppy.

And in front of that, from right to left, would be a table with Stinky, Jake, Armstrong, Yves St. La Roach, and the bear from The Animal Show (I'm too lazy to look up her name), a table with Link Hogthrob, Dr. Strangepork, Andy Pig, Randy Pig, Papa Pig, and Annie Sue Pig, another table with pigs, only generic ones (plus Belinda, Betina, David Hogsohog, and Spamela Hamderson), and a table with P.J., Kai-Lee, Louis Kazagger, Zelda Rose, and Mildred.

In front of those tables would be tables with some of the more major Muppet characters. Right next to the Fragle Rock tables would be a table for Bunsen, Beaker, Sam the Eagle, Beauregard, Lew Zealand, and maybe Scooter (I wonder if Henson would have had Scooter used for this special), a table with Crazy Harry, The Newsman, The Swedish Chef, Marvin Suggs, and the Muppaphones on top of the table, a table with Clifford, Digit, Flash, Beard, and the Solid Foam Drumer, and a table with the snowman from A Muppet Family Christmas, the turkey from A Muppet Family Christmas, and Leon.

And now to the higher lever seating area on the left of the screen. From right to left, there would be a table for Guy Smiley, Sully, Mumford, Simon Soundman, Baby Bear, and Goldilocks, a tabel for Forgetful Jones, Clementine, and Buster, a table for Sonny Friendly, Stella, Gladys the Cow, and Fred the Wonder Horse, a table for honkers and dingers, a table for Geri and the Atrics, a table for Statler, Waldorf, and Pops, and a table for Bobby Benson and his baby band.

And for the main stage there would be a special table for Kermit, Miss Piggy, Fozzie, Robin, Gonzo, and Rizzo, and beside the podeum would be an orchestra section. The top row would include Dr. Teeth on keyboards, Floyd on bass, Animal on drums, and three chickens on a xylophone. The middle row would include a penguin on a triangle bell, two chickens on a set of bongos, Zoot on saxaphone, T.R. Rooster on banjo, and Janice on guitar. The bottom row would include a penguin on clarinet, a rat on maracas, Lips on trumpet, another rat on harmonica, another penguin on trombone, a frog on cello, and Rowlf on piano.

And of course, Grover would be workign as a waiter, and therefore wouldn't have a seat of his own.

 

[Collgoff]

This is the best thing I ever red and I rgought I was die laughing!