D'Snowth's Unfinished Thoughts... on LIFE...

[D'Snowth]

Yes, the stew stirring the ol' Snowth pot... I mean, the Snowth stew the ol' stir pot... I mean... never mind... ><

 

[beaker]

Many people, especially a lot of young women are brainwashed and programmed into what they should be attracted too. This sort of meme-gineering has been endemic to this ever increasing sickening culture for some time. Just go to any mall and you'll see both the advertising and people playing the role. And this is repeated in tv, film, magazines, commercials, advertisements on billboards and bus stops, through peers, etc. Women will often fall for a an alpha male/smooth talker even against her spidey sense, especially if he meets some of the choice aesthetic qualities they've been brainwashed with. It's no wonder though, so many women(including many young women barely out of high school) say how cynical and jaded they are with men and dating.

Given most girls seem to have horror stories and a habit of falling for jerks, abusers and wishy washy types(seems to be a pandemic) evolutionarily speaking; maybe in time women will develop their spidey sense better. And on the flipside, I've known a lot of guys who have been taken for a ride by bipolar/manipulative/ultra moody women.

As a hopeless romantic who has tried dating, my view is that it's best to be patient. Especially with the STD pandemic that is out there(most sexually active people whove been with more than a couple people within a couple year window could be carrying something)

In mysterious ways that cannot be explained(only appreciated), fate/God/whatever you call it will bring you randomly with the person you're meant to be with. So fret not dreamers! Waiting, even a long time, is better than being stuck in an unhappy/lopsided relationship or stuck with an unwanted kid or STD.

 

[beaker]

Plus everyone talks about how some women are naive, but what about the men that let them down? I'm generalizing here but a lot of men aren't taught to have anything resembling compassion for women. Or they are showered with praise at far too young an age which leads to an overblown ego. It has been postulated for instance that Charlie Sheen might have been a "sweeter person" if he hadn't had so much success at such a young age.

Couldn't agree more. Many young men are instilled with this "player" predatory mindset, leaving a ruinous path of emotionally hurt and distraught young women without even a care.

 

[D'Snowth]

This week's topic rully speaks to me and Julio... the topic of friendship.

Different people have different variations on the old saying, "The most important thing in life is...", and there are some out there who say the most important thing in life is a good friend. I suppose friendship is pretty important in life... after all, if you can't trust or confide in a friend, who can you do so with? You meet a lot of people in your life, especially when you're growing up, and often times, you become pretty chummy with the people you meet and get acquainted with, and you even consider some of those people to be your friends... but, how do you know when these people really are your friends? How do you know those same people really aren't your friends?

It wasn't until I was grown up that I realized that there's a difference between friends and acquaintances, and it was then I realized just what it meant. Let's think about it this way: suppose you went to school with someone you were pretty chummy with, and as the last day of school draws closer, and you realize the two of you might not see each other again, you ask to exchange contact information (like e-mail addresses and such) to keep in touch... but how does that person respond? If this person's really your friend, he/she would probably agree to that and would want to maintain contact, right? But that person ends up telling you something along the lines of, "No, that's okay, we don't have to do that." What does that tell you? Exactly.

Or, how about what seems to happen with myself, and Julio: suppose you have people in your life that you consider to be your friends, but those people actually avoid you, rather than acknowledge your presence... if these people are really your friends, why would they avoid you? What's the thinking behind that? Don't sound like much of a friend to me. People who call out to you, are happy to see you each time, always ready to hang out for a while, etc, now that seems like more of what friends would do, not act like you're invisible and pretend you don't exist.

And that brings to mind a question... why would people even pretend to be your friends in the first place? That's something to ponder on, what are their motives? Do they feel sorry for you because you don't have a lot of friends anyway, or are they playing mind games with you, or do they actually see a potential friend in you but then decide they really don't like you but don't want to hurt your feelings? Lots of people can tell you they're your friend, but the only way you'd know for sure if that person is your friend is if they would hold you and let you die in their arms, rather than just let you lay there and bleed to death.

I take issue with false friends, because DUDE, DAT AIN'T KEWL, MAN! I know I do have quite a few TRUE friends out there, and a lot of them are really important in my life, some of them are from this very place, some of them are from other places, but they're people I know I can count on; but at the same time, I've also had my share of false friends over the years, especially when I was in middle school, and after a while, you get pretty sick of seeing someone's true colors, and realize that hey, they couldn't give a flying crap about you.

 

[Sgt Floyd]

I wonder if people are friends with me because they feel sorry for me...or they dont want to say they dont like me.

I can honestly say I probably have 3 true friends, two of them being 500 miles away.

Its because of these false friends I tend to...erm...avoid making friends. I have been hurt a lot, and I guess I'm scared that if I make friends they will hurt me. Its not a good way to be

 

[Frogpuppeteer]

i should say that from my point of view i understand life happens... people work, have families and everything and yea i have those friend but i give them there sapce to live their life...im sick of the friends who never want to do anything it seems or if i really need them guess what oh im to busy...or suddenly im not cool enough cause they have a girlfriend...something i personally dont do with my friends, if im dating someone i still make time for my friends

but of course those same friends if they ask me to hang our and i trauley cannot get mad at me because the one day of the year they say hey lets do something i dont drop everything and go with them...im sorry but no

i do find it funny that recently i did write on the wall of one friend who this past summer has taken time to invite me to stuff every now and then and i thanked him publicly and called him a true friend then low and behold who starts talking to me on a daily basis said friend who dropped me like a hat once he got a girlfirend

 

[Sgt Floyd]

I know how that feels. I have mentioned her before, but I had a friend who got a boyfriend and suddenly I was thrown in the dirt. On the rare occasions I was good enough to talk to me, all she talked about was her boyfriend. She had no interest in what I was saying and somehow turned every single attempt of changing the subject into talking about him.

And then there was the time we went out together and I blew off my then boyfriend to go out with her. All she did was text hers and ignore me. I forget why we went out. I think she invited me because we werent spending time together. Oh the irony.

The last time I spoke to her was a year ago so yeah...

 

[Frogpuppeteer]

yea my friend currently does that

i get the IM hey man wanna do something?

and i say sure

then while we "Hang out" all he does is text her

 

[D'Snowth]

Yes, don't you just hate when that happens? When people like that randomly bring up their boyfriend or girlfriend up in the conversation for no reason other than just to talk about them? Remember that episode of I LOve Lucy where it was a "race" to whip out baby pictures between the Ricardos and the Applebees? I've been on the receiving end of that once where a friend just suddenly started showing me pics of her boyfriend and gushing about how cute and wonderful and stuff he is.

And while you're right Julio, life and such does happen, but there are those times where those people do have a little bit of freetime, and you wish to use it to catch up and such, only to be ignored and avoided like the plague and such.

 

[newsmanfan]

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Uh, News Flash: a LOT of people are SHALLOW!

Sorry you guys have dealt with "casual friends" like that. I'm extremely cautious about getting to know anyone or allowing myself to be known...just too many sociopaths out there who seem to perceive any "relationship", including friendship, as being exclusively for their benefit and at their convenience. Not worth my time...or yours.

I think the information age, and particularly the Faceplant fad, has encouraged this kind of shallowness and narcissism to the point where people will actually look oddly at you if you believe friendship means a bit more than "hanging out" and trading texts once in a while. People would rather the universe revolved around them. We've become a society of whining, needy children utterly without depth of emotional maturity. Sad.

Test of friendship? Throw some of your personal philosophy at the other person, see how they react. NEVER assume someone who just "hangs out" with you is a friend. More likely, they're bored, and assume you are too; the truly narcissistic ones will actually think of that level of noncommitment as "friendship"!
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