Continuing on from the last bit, we have now concluded a Dinner Date Disaster! Now, was that so hard? (to self, no, obviously. I had things to do, dang it). What's up next,, WMG??
Well, my dudes and dudettes, we're gonna be finishing up 2-Ball and as Scarlet O'Hara as my witness, I WILL be finishing New York Minute by the very earliest of New Year's. Totes, seriously. Serial.
However, my focus - thanks to this piece - has shifted back onto that season 2 stuff I said I was gonna do. I honestly have no excuses to NOT finish the 2015, especially when I am paying for Disney+. It's on my list. I should be watching. That and the Mandalorian. Cause you know...baby Yoda. I'm sorry, I know I've lost your respect, but c'mon! He's adorable! Sipping his little tea and stuff. If we get a Muppet Babies version with baby Yoda in it, I will give all of my money to Disney, no question.
Back on track - so yeah, all that season 2 stuff is gonna happen. I have all 15 storisodes if you will, laid out, with plots and everything, so yes. I will write those. In fact, I feel like 2020 I'm just gonna devote to those, with some sides of Miss Piggy Adventures. And the conclusion to the Pool Hall series and of course, some Mondays on Mondays when we get a little bored.
Anyway, this was supposed to be a conclusion and it is! Roll it!
Back inside, Scooter had turned to watch as his host had quickly shut the blinds before turning the lights down low and returning to her seat. “What was that about?” he asked.
“Nothing,” she replied, quickly. Opening the coffee table drawer in front of her, she removed two game console controllers, handing one to Scooter before closing the drawer. “Wanted to set the mood for the rest of the night is all. Now, to go to work. Beating you down like the chump you are.”
Scooter huffed, watching as Piggy quickly powered on both the TV and the Console One that sat within the entertainment center underneath it. “You’re the chump,” he said. “I’m gonna slay you like a dragon.”
“You’re gonna slay me?”
“Queen, I always slay,” came the rather sassy retort. “I’m Andy Westside.”
[hr]
The drive to Whataburger and then towards Rowlf and Fozzie’s area of town was mostly quiet, though Kermit managed to get a few irritated huffs and annoyed grunts in as they drove. More than once Gonzo answered with his own sarcastic responses, which were equally starting to get on the nerves of the passengers in the back. The last huff was met with the very expected angered reply from the driver.
“Knock it off! I swear, Kermit, I will turn this car right back around and drop you off first if it means we can continue driving in silence!”
“You know what? I’m not talking to you.”
“Well, good! Fantastic! The last thing I wanna do is talk to you. In fact, you don’t have anyone to blame but yourself. Cause you know what – nothing says love like stalking your sorta kinda girlfriend when she’s on a date with someone else!”
“Gonzo, why would you say it like that?” Rowlf sighed, shaking his head. Not that he wasn’t equally annoyed at the frog, but he had hoped this would get out of his system once he saw nothing was apparently going on with the diva or the assistant producer. Of course, that was not what happened, in fact it only seemed to make the frog even more crazed than before.
Being the laid back kinda guy he was, Rowlf understood both side of the situation. He totally agreed with Fozzie when it came to Kermit – for every amount of confidence he seemed to allude when rounding them up, his insecurities always seemed to flare when it came to their resident diva. And vice versa; the dogtender had been counselor to both and while he would always be behind the two of them being together, he also took the approach that if being together didn’t make them happy, then they shouldn’t be together.
The problem of course was that being apart only made them worse.
“Look,” he tried. “Kermit’s clearly having a night…”
“He’s having a night!?” the driver exclaimed. “We’re the ones he kidnapped!”
“You were not kidnapped,” Kermit huffed. “In fact, you’re the one driving! How is this my fault?”
“Are you kidding me!?” Gonzo jerked the wheel in his response, his head turning to look at the frog.
“Eyes on the road, Gonzo,” Fozzie stated, gripping both the seat and his bag of food in his hands.
“Kermit,” the weirdo stressed, taking a deep breath before he said his next words. “I love you. You are the brother I didn’t even know I wanted, but sometimes I want to strangle you. Let’s not go over the many years the three of us have watched you rake that pig over the coals. We won’t talk about that, nor will we state some of the things that Piggy has done to you.
“And I’m sure I speak for everyone when I say that we are more than happy, ecstatic even, that you and Piggy are gonna give this another try, for the millionth time. But I tell you what, Frog, nothing says ‘I love and trust you’ than sitting outside your girlfriend’s house and stalking her!”
There was a beat before Fozzie helpfully piped up, “Technically Piggy isn’t his girlfriend yet.”
“Thank you for reminding me, Foz.”
Kermit sighed, arms crossed his chest. His jealousy and insecurities seemed have to dwindled since leaving the house, probably because he didn’t have to see Piggy and Scooter together. He honestly wasn’t sure what got into him, but he had to admit that Fozzie’s words earlier had probably pegged him right.
That trip to Thailand had been a fluke, a spontaneous attempt at trying to show that Kermit wasn’t a complete idiot and that he could recognize when something good had come into his life. And despite all of their arguments, Miss Piggy was the best thing that had happened to him. Ever. He knew what life was like without her, even when he saw her every day, it wasn’t the same knowing that he had hurt her as much as she had hurt him.
While Kermit had gone all in, even with the help of a coin flip, Piggy had been strangely reluctant to start up where they had left off; she liked that they were friends now, something that had been strongly absent when they had first been dating. And it wasn’t that Kermit didn’t like their friendship either, in fact he was glad they could even be friends after everything they had gone through. And Thailand had been such a great time, probably one of the only times they’d ever been on a vacation with just the two of them and…well, Kermit didn’t want that to change.
Even if it meant he’d stop anyone that could ruin that.
“I don’t think I could go through losing her again,” he murmured, his thoughts drifting along as the car went down the road.
“Well, if you keep up with the paranoid, jealous bit, you will,” Gonzo shot back, though his tone was less harsh than it had been.
“I think it goes without saying,” Rowlf whispered, patting the frog on the shoulder. “That you owe both the boy and her royal highness an apology. More than one, I’m sure.”
Kermit sighed again. “Yeah,” he nodded. “Yeah, Rowlfie, you’re right. As always.” Turning slightly in his seat, he addressed the others. “I’m sorry, you guys. I don’t where my mind is, well…obviously with and on Piggy, where it normally resides, I guess. And of course I’m an idiot. I just…” He gave a sheepish shrug. “I just really want this to work this time. Not sure how many more chances I’ll get.”
“You’re a jealous idiot,” Gonzo stated, throwing a look at him. “But you’re our jealous idiot. And like we’d let you mess this up again. Come on. We’ve had our groomsmen suits ready for years and I would like to use mine before I die, thank you very much.”
[hr]
Saturday morning was usually a very normal and very quiet day on the Up Late set.
Is what no one said, ever.
Despite not having to work on the weekend, the Muppets still managed to find themselves on set doing something. The Electric Mayhem would usually come in to practice, or rather, do a jam session that could last all day or weekend (which had happened before); Gonzo, Rizzo, and Pepe would sometimes find an excuse to goof off in the office versus doing it at home, especially with Camilla there, where ‘goofing off’ meant something different between her and the weirdo; and Scooter and Kermit normally did their budgeting over the weekend.
Kermit was already in the studio, in his office to be precise, and checking every five minutes or so when he could tell or see Piggy and Scooter walk in. After a night of reflection, he was horrendously embarrassed by his behavior and was going to take Rowlf’s advice straight away. He was going to be the bigger frog in all of this; if Piggy wasn’t ready to start a relationship with him, well, that was on him. That didn’t mean she couldn’t start a relationship with anyone else, even if that anyone else was Scooter.
It would be weird, but it would certainly serve him right. After all, hadn’t he taken some perverse pleasure at knowing Piggy was stuck watching him and Denise? And unlike him, she had been a brick about everything, not only hiring him to work on her show, but helping him pick out a gift for Denise and then going along with their act when Robin had come into town. Piggy didn’t get the credit she deserved sometimes and Kermit was going to rectify that today.
Finally, after what seemed like hours and half of the day wasted, those two cohorts walked through the doors and down the hall, passing by his door and laughing at something he didn’t even want to guess at. Flinging the door, Kermit skidded out the doorway and behind them in the hall. “Hey guys.”
Both diva and assistant turned at the same time, smiling at seeing the frog. They planned on getting back at him for whatever craziness led to him being outside Piggy’s house with the others, though they would of course come clean. But that was later. For now, however…
“Hey Kermit,” Scooter replied. “What’s up?”
“Nothing much,” came the response. “How was uh…how was your…” Saying the word ‘date’ seemed to stick in his throat, so Kermit cleared it before going with, “How was last night?”
Scooter and Piggy looked at each other, seeing the opening they needed. They weren’t going to do too much damage to the frog’s ego, but they did want to needle him at least a little bit in the spirit of their normal tom-foolery. “Oh, it was great,” the red head said. “Actually, it went rather long. I was just walking Miss Piggy to her dressing room. Figured she should probably take a nap.”
Piggy huffed. “More like you,” she said. “Moi seems to remember you could barely keep up with me.”
Kermit stamped down the ready comment he knew was waiting to come out of his mouth. He wanted Piggy to be happy and if Scooter made her happy, then he was going to keep his mouth shut. He trusted Piggy and Scooter and he had already given into temptation by showing that he couldn’t talk the talk, as it were. “I…you know…” he stumbled. “You know what? I’m just gonna say it – I’m glad to hear it. And…I’m happy for you guys.”
“What?”
This…was not what either Piggy or Scooter was expecting.
“And,” he continued. “I owe you both an apology. More than one, I’m sure, but let’s just start off with the first one. I’m sorry. I truly am. I love you, both of you, and I couldn’t exactly call myself your friend if I didn’t want to see to your happiness. And I trust you, you gotta know that. What happened with me last night was a one time thing, a complete fluke, and it will never happen again.”
Again, Scooter and Piggy looked at each other, this time in confusion, before turning back to the frog. What in the world was he talking about?
“What’re you talking about?” asked Piggy.
“Kermit, are you dying?” questioned Scooter.
“What?” Kermit asked, giving Scooter a look. Where did he get that from? “No. No, why would you…? Nevermind. And I’m talking, Piggy, about the two of you. I am happy for you. If there were two people better suited for each other…”
“Whoa, whoa!”
“What?!”
“Kermit, why in the world would you think I would want to date Piggy!?”
“’Cuse you,” the diva said, turning an annoyed look to her left. “Last night, you were all up in arms about not being able to date me.”
“Slow your roll, Hoss,” came the retort. “That is not what I said.”
“The point,” Kermit interrupted, frantically. The scene was much too close to a typical argument he’d might have with the diva and that would just drive another nail into the coffin. “Is that I am happy for the two of you. And I wish you all the happiness in the world.”
“Boss, you have some strange ideas about what Piggy and I do together.”
“Please say more.”
That was Kermit’s typical response whenever either one of those were about to tell him something that only they would discuss. Some of their discussions bordered on a very high level of TMI and knowing that the two of them were…that was the last thing he wanted to hear. And it must’ve shown because Piggy heard the distinct hitch in his voice when he said it.
“Oh my…Scooter, please just tell him!”
“Kermit, I…” Scooter started, but he drifted off when he caught sight of something from behind the frog. “Oh hey, you’re early.”
“Yeah,” replied a voice coming from Kermit’s right side. “I finished up, so I thought I’d come by to take you to lunch. Hey Miss Piggy.”
Kermit watched as a young, lightly orange Whatnot passed him. She had long red hair, a bit darker than Scooter’s own, tied up in a ponytail, wearing black slacks and a green silk blouse that matched the same colored eyes. Her appearance was already surprising, but what made Kermit’s eyes widen and his mouth to slightly drop was her walking over to his assistant producer and greeting him with a kiss.
Sensing the strange vibe that she had walked into, the auburn haired woman asked, “Am I interrupting something?”
“Yes!”
“Thank god!”
“And thank you,” Piggy added. “From the bottom of our hearts and souls. Hello, dearheart.”
“Oh, uh,” Scooter stuttered. “Mandy, I don’t think you’ve met Kermit yet. Kermit, Amanda Cosgrove. Mandy, Kermit the Frog.”
“It’s a pleasure, Mr. The Frog,” Amanda replied, sending a smile towards the frog. “I’m like your biggest fan.”
“Uhhh…”
“Kermit, you okay?” the Whatnot asked. “You’re looking a little green there.”
Everyone, but said green frog, got the joke and chuckled at it. “Oh, he’s fine,” Piggy said. “Some truth bombs were just dropped on him and he’s a little ‘shell-shocked’ as it were. Don’t worry, Moi will take care of him.”
“I bet you will,” Scooter retorted. That got him a playful slap on the arm.
“Don’t be crass,” Piggy said, though she sent a smirk towards him. “Amanda, dear, were you able to get those reservations?”
“I was,” Amanda replied. “Thank you so for the recommendation. In fact, that’s why I showed up early. Hoping we could make those before we get thrown off the list or something.”
“If you do, call me and Moi will get you back on it.” Piggy then made a shooing motion, pushing on Scooter’s shoulder to get him moving. “So, go on. Mon Capitaine, you don’t mind if these two lovebirds go to lunch a little early, do you?”
“Uhhh…”
“Nah, he doesn’t mind,” the diva interpreted. “Go on, go, go, go! Andrew, please return within the hour or so, then you and Kermit can do whatever it is the two of you do on a Saturday.”
“Wouldn’t you like to know?”
“No,” she retorted. “Ew, gross.” She watched them walk down the hall before throwing out, “And don’t come home late! You know how Kermit worries!”
Turning her attention back to the frog, Piggy watched as he went back between watching Scooter leave and to where he had stood before turning to look at her. “What just happened?”
Placing her hands on his shoulders, she calmly replied, “Well, you just met Amanda, who is Scooter’s girlfriend.”
“Scooter’s what now?”
“Girlfriend, dearest,” she repeated. “Which of course throws out this silly notion that you now have that Scooter and I are somehow involved. Which is interesting, because Moi thought we were involved. Where is your head right now?”
“I don’t know,” Kermit said, truthfully. “I’m not even sure what day it is at the moment.”
“Is that what last night was about?” she asked. While she had entertained the notion, Piggy never once actually believed that her frog was actually jealous of Scooter.
Kermit sighed, shaking his head. “Rarely am I the one who’s gung ho about starting something up between us, purely my fault, I know,” he added when Piggy gave him a look. “I did everything wrong and managed to push you away. I just don’t want to swing in the opposite direction and…push you into the arms of someone else.”
“And that someone else being Scooter?”
“Someone else being anyone,” he countered. “But definitely Scooter. Or Rowlf or Gonzo, the last two barely deciding they’d start talking to me again.”
“And Fozzie?” she asked.
“Oh, I gave him a muffin this morning. We’re best friends again.”
Piggy shook her head. “I don’t know what to do with you sometimes.”
“That makes two of us.”
“And it’s take gonna take more than a muffin to make this up to me.”
“Oh absolutely!” Kermit said, nodding quickly. He then shyly asked, “Dinner?”
“Just dinner?”
She just couldn’t let him have that, could she? Instead, he hedged his bet a little. “And a movie?”
“What movie?”
“Vous pick.”
“Really?” Piggy asked, a huge smile on her face. “You’re gonna let Moi pick the movie?”
“I’m gonna regret it, but yeah.”
“Aw, Kermie,” she cooed. “Moi’s gonna pick the worst movie ever.”
“I know you will.”
“In fact,” she said, taking a step back. “Moi is gonna call Gonzo and let him recommend a movie.” Piggy started to head off down the hall towards her dressing room, smiling all the way.
“Oh good! That’s exactly what he wants,” Kermit shouted after her.
“Perfect.”
“We’ll both get to suffer.”
“Better vous than Moi,” she called back, hiding a laugh. She was halfway down the hall when Kermit called after her, causing her to turn around.
“Hey Piggy?”
“Yeah?”
“I love you.”
It was the first time he’d said since their trip to Thailand and definitely the first time, ever, while in the middle of a semi-busy studio, and while in earshot of anyone around. Kermit had been tight fisted with the deeper emotions Piggy managed to bring out in him, holding them close to his heart, but that had been part of their downfall and he didn’t want a repeat of it.
Such an odd occurrence had Piggy stop in her tracks. She could give a flippant remark, a quip, or something even flirty, but that would be backsliding in their past. The fact that Kermit had been so nearly convinced – and still was apparently – that they would repeat their old familiar patterns actual did not put her off; if anything, she was probably the only other person who understood where that fear was coming from.
Because she had it too.
And while she did love him – always had, always would – she wasn’t totally there yet in saying it back him unless on pain of death. Not that she never would again, but those were words that had meaning and when Kermit was willing to say them, loudly, in a hallway full of people, she knew she couldn’t just blow him off.
“I know,” she replied, seriously, and looking straight at him. Kermit knew her well enough, or should have at that point, that this was as close as he was going to get for the moment; the feelings were mutual, of course, but if they were going to make this work, the meaning and the reason for saying it was because they actually, truly, madly, and deeply felt it.
“Seven?”
“Seven-thirty,” Piggy said, turning back around on her course. “Don’t be late.”
And I'm gonna end it there. And that's it people! We is done here! Counters, if you should ever, at any point update that long list of fics, I has like a thousand that need to be added. And obviously there will be a new series upcoming. Hope everyone enjoyed and next up, will hopefully be the conclusion of 2-Ball!