Yeah, the taking my life thing was a bit extreem, and I haven't truely though as much of it since I was in High School. It's just that I struggled like crazy to get where I am, and I'm STILL a failure. Other than you guys here, I have a sever lack of friends. basically, I get more courage typing stuff than saying stuff. I've had a rough life for someone in my status. I crawled through the pits of Hades to get into college, and I'm getting disastorous grades (anythoing below a B- is a disaster, but really..) No one cares or likes what I do, I am starting to lose my faith in anything. My dreams are becoming (as langston Huges once said) a Rasin in the sun, and I am still haunted by inner demons of everything I do. In fact, when I wrote that post I was reduced to tears,but I just don't cry. Putting your heart and soul into something, only to have it crushed, feeling stabbed in the back. I mean, that would really mess someone up, but this happens repeptitively, and I shouldn get used to it. it just gets more and more sever everytime.
Well, I probably can't kill myself anyway, since
a) I get too squeamish
and B) there's something inside that's trying to drag me on. Stopping me from giving up.
but you know me, in a few days or so, I'll be back to posting humours stuff, and feeling like my old self before you know it!
So I thank both of you for helping me through this tough time. may whatever you believe in bless and keep you, and I hope your dreams turn out much better than mine. Thanks.