Dealing with depression and anxiety

[fuzzygobo]

I've been doing pretty well, I've been seeing my counselor on my college campus and, I had support from everyone in my life...or, so I thought...

My soon to be ex-boyfriend got into a fight with me about my depression and the fact that I go to counseling; he claimed that I should be spending all the time I spend at counseling working out with him and, that my mental health is nowhere near as important as my physical health/looking like a girl who belongs on the cover of a Sports Illustrated magazine...

He says these things yet, claims to be head over heels in love with me; I thought that might be grounds for trying to fix things but, after no apology and more fights about who I am as a person, I am not going to work to salvage a relationship like this...

My friends all saw who he was before I did; they saw how toxic a guy he was and I didn't until now...

That alone makes me feel horrible but, so does the fact that I won't see him in person until Sunday to break it off (we're still on winter break; we re-start classes on Monday)

In the words of one of my favorite R&B singers, "I'd rather be alone than unhappy."

No more second chances, no more anything...

I need to leave him and, while I'd send a text and get it over with, this is a conversation that demands to be had in person if only to show how serious I am.

Do I feel horrible and nervous with this looming over my head? Yes.

But, I will feel so much better once all is said and done, and, I think that's worth the wait.

You are definitely doing the right thing, getting out of a bad relationship which sees no sign of improving. Your mental well-being is extremely important, and if he can't appreciate that, he's not deserving of you.

It is too bad so many people stay in harmful, one-sided relationships, and continually get abused and manipulated. But nobody deserves to stay in a place like that. As bad as the fear of being alone might be, staying trapped like this is so much worse.
And it's decent of you to tell him face to face. It might give him ONE MORE CHANCE to change his ways, but don't bet on it. Still, telling him personally, rather than finding out on Facebook or hearsay, is better for him, and better for you, since your honest feelings are coming through.

Wishing you the best, knowing you'll come out okay. Letting him go will give you a chance to heal. And you deserve that.

 

[DramaQueenMokey]

Thank you to everyone's support but, my plot just seemed to thicken...

So, in a bad game of she said, he didn't say, my so-called 'friends' had opened my phone (they knew my lock code_, taken out my bf's number, replaced it with a burner phone #, and said all those nasty things to me over text...

And, here, I break up with this poor kid who didn't do anything save for just the fact that his personality may not have gelled perfectly with theirs...

Now, did my bf and I have our issues? Sure, name a couple that doesn't...We have since spoken on those issues and are going to deal with them in our own time.

But, that's not the business of my so-called 'friends' and, I feel horribly hurt because here go people who I thought I could trust and they use my weaknesses against me...

Well, my ex, maybe not ex and I are going to figure us out, if there is even an us anymore or if there can be but, we'll be doing that without any interference from those petty girls

 

[charlietheowl]

Wow, that's so bizarre your friends would do that to you, that's awful. I hope that you are able to cut those people out of your life, doing something like that shows no regard for the feelings of others. Good luck with you and your boyfriend.

 

[DramaQueenMokey]

Wow, that's so bizarre your friends would do that to you, that's awful. I hope that you are able to cut those people out of your life, doing something like that shows no regard for the feelings of others. Good luck with you and your boyfriend.

Thank you; I really did find it ridiculous that that's what happened but, the weakest link of the bunch cracked today as I broke down crying over my guy and, then she broke down crying over what actually went down; her as a psych major I would have assumed would have been more sympathetic to the whole thing but, I guess not...

We'll see what happens with us and, again, what I've learned here: Not even your friends are always acting in your best interest </3

 

[fuzzygobo]

The whole Facebook mentality has cheapened the word "friend" (which to me will always be a noun, not a verb). So many people who friend and unfriend day in/ day out, or collect Facebook friends like points (What do you get for 10,000 friends? A free oven mitt?) should take a good hard look at themselves and understand what it is and what it takes to be a friend.

Maybe it will help them appreciate their real friends more.
This spleen venting brought to you by the letters B, F, and the number 3.16.

 

[WalterLinz]

Thank you to everyone's support but, my plot just seemed to thicken...

So, in a bad game of she said, he didn't say, my so-called 'friends' had opened my phone (they knew my lock code_, taken out my bf's number, replaced it with a burner phone #, and said all those nasty things to me over text...

And, here, I break up with this poor kid who didn't do anything save for just the fact that his personality may not have gelled perfectly with theirs...

Now, did my bf and I have our issues? Sure, name a couple that doesn't...We have since spoken on those issues and are going to deal with them in our own time.

But, that's not the business of my so-called 'friends' and, I feel horribly hurt because here go people who I thought I could trust and they use my weaknesses against me...

Well, my ex, maybe not ex and I are going to figure us out, if there is even an us anymore or if there can be but, we'll be doing that without any interference from those petty girls

At least you've got us, @DramaQueenMokey.

 

[DramaQueenMokey]

Went to counseling the other day and, since then I've been feeling great ^^

My counselor told me a lot of what I knew but, she especially thinks that it's best that my boyfriend and I fix ourselves if we see it fit; also, she pointed out that we do both clearly still have feeling for one another, not only from the way I described how emotional he got but, from my emotional state.

One day at a time is the best way to go but, we're the only ones who know what's best for us a whole and, that's a good thing; we shouldn't let any haters get to us (which we haven't been so far ^^)

Again, I have been feeling great despite the brain melter of a history class I had yesterday (my professor literally repeated every thing anyone said in class and, when we were asked to read our assigned paragraphs, she would interrupt any metaphors/creative phrases and go on and gush about them...needless to say, that ate up an hour and a quarter pretty fast; not that I don't like being praised but, I am there to learn...)

But, either way, I am feeling great and tonight I fill in my Valentine Cards (yes, I still give those out even at almost 20 years old; they're uplifting and nice to give )

 

[CensoredAlso]

Serious question about counseling. I'm probably at one of the darkest periods of my life right now, in large part due to outside circumstances. I've never been more alone in my life, literally. I don't imagine a counselor can magically change those circumstances for me, so what is a counselor intended to do?

 

[dwayne1115]

Serious question about counseling. I'm probably at one of the darkest periods of my life right now, in large part due to outside circumstances. I've never been more alone in my life, literally. I don't imagine a counselor can magically change those circumstances for me, so what is a counselor intended to do?

I think that they are there for people to go and talk things out with. That would not really fix your loneliness, but it would give you someone to talk to about what is going on, and then giving you advice on how to deal with that is going on from the point of view of someone on the outside looking in.
I have been told that I would make a good counselor several times, both on here and in the real world. So if you need someone to talk with I'm here for you, and I wont charge you an arm and a leg for it ether.

 

[CensoredAlso]

and I wont charge you an arm and a leg for it ether.

Lol, very true.

from the point of view of someone on the outside looking in.

Yeah, that's the only thing I keep coming back to as a possibility. There may be points of view I'm not considering. Otherwise, I just keep imagining a counselor as someone telling me, "Here's how to deal with being a loser better." Lol

Basically, at this point in my life a lot of my friends have moved away and/or just lost contact. I suppose it's normal as you get older. I've just never been very good at being social, it's always a struggle, and I'm sure there are others that my friends/former friends find easier to be around. But just recently a friend that I have known my entire life has been rather cruelly pulling away. The friends I do have, I can't expect them to listen to my rantings all day, heh. And they kinda want me to talk logically when that's the last way I feel, lol.

To be clear, I did try seeking out counselors recently, but the ones I narrowed down to were all too booked to see me. So I'll have to widen my search a bit.