Dealing with depression and anxiety

[LittleJerry92]

Pretty much after being cooped up in this house for at least 13 weeks, I decided to drive over to an old playground near my library and sit under a tree. It helps a bit

 

[LittleJerry92]

Well, I can thankfully say this.

For the most part, I've managed to get over my mood swings after dealing with college stress as of this month. They only lasted for about 3 months but I'm glad they're over. Honestly, right now the only thing that's been stressing me out is still trying to find a job in my field. Digital Media is SUCH a tough field to get into that it's not even funny. Granted, I can still convince myself I did learn a lot about film, radio.... *Trigger voice* Audio *eye twitch*, but still, it's also annoying knowing it feels like you blew off so much money and aged 10x faster trying to get a job just to find out it's so difficult to find one in your field.

 

[DramaQueenMokey]

it's also annoying knowing it feels like you blew off so much money and aged 10x faster trying to get a job just to find out it's so difficult to find one in your field.

I feel this on a spiritual level, that is exactly what college does to you.

You're not alone in what seems to be a never-ending cycle of being tired 24/7 all while worrying at the speed of light on top of it.

 

[DramaQueenMokey]

Was doing well until Thanksgiving; all because I called some NFL player good looking, who happens to be one of the players kneeling in protesting police brutality, my one aunt's jerk fiancé kept screaming at me and then as I tried to explain that the players kneeling are not protesting the flag, he just kept cutting me off, not even letting me explain the FACTS, it officially ruined my weekend. I didn't do anything wrong; he should apologize to ME for treating me like garbage. I am not apologizing to him if he expects it. My aunt came over today and was nice so, I doubt she'll make me. I used to call him my cool Rebel Scum Uncle but, not anymore. He's just plain old scum. What made it worse was my mom trying to say 'all we had was different opinions' when, no. He has an opinion and I have factual evidence which, I even wrote an article over for where I intern.

Then, come Saturday night, my mom just proved how much of a hypocritical liar she is. She was watching some horrible show about people in jail and started saying: "Oh, it's great they get therapy!" And then I confronted her with her own words: "Really? Because you've always said that 'therapy is for crazies' She said that to me SEVERAL times when she pulled me out of therapy after my epilepsy diagnosis. She claimed that since I was finally diagnosed with what was causing my seizures, I had been magically 'cured' of my depression etc...Then she kept fighting me that she had never said such a thing -_- Riiiight. Plus, she especially didn't like that my old therapist told her in her face that, she treated me pretty bad to begin with and, she never read the book that explained in detail about how mental illness impacts those who suffer from it. I even got it in Spanish because her English is trash. The book just sits on the center table in our living room only open to the cover page and being flattened out by all the other junk on the center table.

I have never felt more unloved by everyone around me. The only people who I believe remotely like me at this point are my three friends (plus my boyfriend). I want nothing more than to disappear but, I don't necessarily have that option and, I couldn't break my boyfriend's heart like that.

I just feel like I don't have it in me to be strong anymore.

 

[Old Thunder]

I don't really know what to say because @fuzzygobo will say everything and more that I'm thinking, so let me suffice with an "I wish you the best." I've suffered from some depression myself, gradually getting stronger, so while I don't know exactly how you're feeling I know enough of it to know that it's not good. So yeah, I wish you the best. You may not feel strong, but try to be strong nonetheless.

 

[fuzzygobo]

It's still Sunday, so I'm still in my jurisdiction to recommend
Psalm 55:22.

I totally understand how you feel. I remember the emptiness of not feeling loved. Luckily the older I get, the more it becomes a distant memory. Wanting to disappear though, solves nothing. Because no matter where you go, there you are. And your anger will still be with you. Your Uncle Scum and your mom should apologize to you. In the event that they don't, forgive them for their foolishness and move on. Your being angry over him being a jerk is not worth holding on to.

 

[Pig'sSaysAdios]

One thing i've learned is, you can be angry at someone for as long as you want, but that only takes away from your own joy. Most of the time the person you're angry at has already moved on.

 

[MikaelaMuppet]

When I get a job, I'm going to have to have somebody drop me off and pick me up because I don't drive. I'm afraid to learn how to start because I am scared of getting into accidents. Tried twice, and the second time, I crashed my mother's car into a tree (only a minor accident).

 

[fuzzygobo]

You have two choices.
1) At some point you face up to your fear and learn how to drive or at least TRY IN SPITE OF YOUR FEARS or
2) You settle for a very mediocre life.

Your parents aren't going to be around forever to drive you, and at some point in your life you'll have to take a stand on something. Otherwise fear will keep you from trying anything new or challenging, and life won't amount to much.

There are driving schools that have simulators so you get a feel of the road without the risk of crashing.
But the fear of driving is something you'll have to face sometime. The only thing that will ever hold you back is YOU.
Unless the mass transit in New Hampshire is so great you'll never need to drive, best of luck to you.

 

[MikaelaMuppet]

You have two choices.
1) At some point you face up to your fear and learn how to drive or at least TRY IN SPITE OF YOUR FEARS or
2) You settle for a very mediocre life.

Your parents aren't going to be around forever to drive you, and at some point in your life you'll have to take a stand on something. Otherwise fear will keep you from trying anything new or challenging, and life won't amount to much.

There are driving schools that have simulators so you get a feel of the road without the risk of crashing.
But the fear of driving is something you'll have to face sometime. The only thing that will ever hold you back is YOU.
Unless the mass transit in New Hampshire is so great you'll never need to drive, best of luck to you.

Thanks a lot.