Cory's adventures in metropolitain retail

[beaker]

Well, the impossible has happened, and after all this time I finally have a J-O-B! Yes, the de facto psuedo MC empiracle thought kid is now the new stock room heirophant on the fabled second floor of Pottery Barn. Ornate minimalistic furniture and dinner ware hand crafted from the Southern tip of Tuscany complimenting the architectural backbone of Metropolitain retail...with the sweet concerto of a Bach cello piece hushing over the incandescent illumination on the sales floor. Like the fleeting primitive mad scribblings from a 17th century Indonesian pirate, these are truly those rare moments out of time. Of fractal dreaming and high society, these Medeterranean wicker baskets and Italian armoire's are all that stands between us and total oblivion...with one lone visionary stock boy on the entropic desert sands of ones and zeroes...sleeping, dreaming...into the throat of the universe, meticulously slashing away at the fabric of time itself.

I got a real kick out of the new employee safety video. In one segment, a guy is standing in front of an exit, saying "And remember, make sure to have the exits clear from boxes and debris. You never know what could be behind the door, be it an entrance to the back of the mall, parking lot, or garage"(and under my breath I said "or a portal to another demention!)

I guess that goes back to my ol joke about Al Roker in a second story Manhattan Pottery Barn on the eve of the apocalypse.
*sigh* But that's for another time folks.

 

[towels]

I love training videos. They should have had more of those on MST3K.
It was quite a joy picking them apart, especially when I worked at a movie theater. They always told us, never hold a popcorn tub by the top so your thumb is inside the tub (germs, etc.) We never ever ever got a video from the corporate office where someone didn't have their thumb in a tub.

Congrats Cory!

 

[Luke]

Congrats on the job Cory - i'm very, very pleased for you. Now i should hire you to write my job description .... you did a cool job there !

 

[beaker]

towels:>>>I love training videos. They should have had more of those on MST3K.
It was quite a joy picking them apart, especially when I worked at a movie theater. They always told us, never hold a popcorn tub by the top so your thumb is inside the tub (germs, etc.) We never ever ever got a video from the corporate office where someone didn't have their thumb in a tub.Congrats Cory!<<<

Thanx Towels. Heh, yeha training videos are a trip. I loved the orientation film on the dvd of Being John Malkovich, and the new Monsters Inc. one. This is my first job, yet I can imagine the absurdity on some of those. I would love to see a Muppet orientation training video, JHC could make a pretty good parody of one as say supplemental material or a new Muppet sketch!

luke:>>> Congrats on the job Cory - i'm very, very pleased for you. Now i should hire you to write my job description .... you did a cool job there ! <<<

Thanx! Yeah, I have an active imagination^_^ And a penchant for trying to sound more versed than I am

As a footnote...I first became interested in Pottery Barn from an episode of Seinfeld(Fall, 1997) where Kramer cant even get inside the front door of one, now Im on the second floor of one. Since then, whenever I walked past their ornate little window displays it always intrigued me, and now here I am.

Cory with a job....hmmm, that is a bit of a **** just froze over oxymoron. Whats next, Rivkin with a JHC buyback and ALF getting a new nationally televised sitcom relaunch?