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Case of the Missing Swine (The Muppets Go 1800's)

Barry Lee

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Mysteries are in our lives everyday, "What is a Mahna Mahna?" "Is it Easy Being Green?" mysteries like these surface our lives everyday. That's why we have, Sherlock Gonz, to answer these questions.

Case of the Missing Swine
(The Muppets' Go 1880's)

The year is 1887. It's a little dreary in the London town of 'Henson', we enter the office of renowned detective, Sherlock Gonz (Gonzo.) He has a hooked nose, though many people mistake him for a turkey, they really don't know what Gonz is, or his background. He runs his little detective office with his two assistants, Watson the Goffer (Scooter) and Rizzo the Goffer (Rizzo the Rat.)

"We're twins," explains Rizzo, the 'Goffer.'

Next door to the office of Gonz, is the Sheriff's office, with Officer Fozzie Bear and Officer Link Hogthrob. With their fierce leader Chief Sam the French Eagle (Sam the American Eagle.)

The town of Henson is run by the Mayor Kermit le' Frog (Kermit the Frog.) Though we aren't sure about the government in the 1800's of France, it's Henson, so just believe us. Kermit is also married to Madame Piggy (Miss Piggy.)

So back to that dreary day, its about 4 pm in the evening as the Gonz sits on his desk. Watson & Rizzo are sleeping on the floor, out of sheer boredom. The door slams open, as flippers scurry.

"My wife is missing!" the mayor shouts. As he hands Sherlock Gonz a note, with black india ink drenched on the dusty paper.

The note states:

"We have your wife, so she's missing from your home."

"Watson! Find the DNA on this note!" Gonz shouts.

"Gonzo, (ahem) this is in the 1800's...," Watson sighs.

Gonz and Watson look at each other for a minute, pondering their thoughts. As the Chief, trots in.

"Oh! Mayor! What are you doing here? How may I serve this town? This great, America, I mean FRANCE! France..." Cheif shouts as he buries his head with his wings.

"Well Sam, Watson, Gonz, and Rizzo... it all started...," the Mayor trots as he pulls out his banjo.

"Oh brother, a song.." sighs Rizzo.


Kermit starts to sing:
I woke up this morning with the clouds in my eyes
I turned right beside me
To see my wife
She says that im
the love of her life
(Sheesh)

"So your saying Kermit, you and Madame Piggy don't have the best relationship?" questions Gonz.

Kermit cont'd.
I love her, yes I do
But she can make my face
black and blue!
She loves me
almost too much
I just want her back,
(Sighs)
Because she's my true love.

The Mayor puts away the banjo as his head is put down with a slight tear on his eye.

"Well sir, we will find him!" explains Chief Sam, "Boys!"

Link & Fozzie rush in, "Bonjour!" they both salute to Sam.

"Go find, Madame Piggy!" orders Sam.

"Well, Chief, I would rather Gonz go hunt for my love..." explains the Mayor with some hesitance.

"Well," Sam pauses feeling offended, "thats fine," he gulps as Link, Fozzie and Sam exit the office.

"Sheesh, well, okay boys who would you think would kidnap Piggy?" asks the Mayor as he sits with Gonzo on his desk.

"Well, do you think she needed to get back to the butcher shop?" chuckles Rizzo.

Watson chuckles along.

"Very funny guys..." Kermit says in a sort of angry voice.

"Don't worry Kermit," glistens Gonz, "We'll find her..."

Gonz pats Kermit on the back.

\\\

Meanwhile in the police office, Sam has a conference with his Officers Link, Fozzie, and Beauregard.

"Okay, is everyone here?" Sam asks as he trots his eyes.

"Ehh, I think so?" Fozzie scratches his head.

"What about Bob?" Beauregard shouts.

"Oh yeah Bob!" Link shouts.

"Ohh Bob he's such a great Officer!" Fozzie glees.

"THERE IS NO BOB!" Sam shouts as the room is silent.

The door of the office then opens as a blue creature trots in to take a seat.

"Officer Grover, we fired you last week!" shouts Sam to the blue creature.

"Oh, I am so sorry!" Grover says in shame as he runs out the door.

"Anyway... the Mayor asked Sherlock Gonz to investigate the Case of his missing wife!" Sam pauses.

"I don't blame him, Sher-clock Gonz is amazing!" interrupts Beau.

"Ahem," continues Sam, "we need a spy, to check on the investigation so we can end up finding Madame Piggy and being the heroes of Henson!"

"Well who's gullible enough to take that job?" exclaims Fozzie, "wait I'll do it!"

"Good Fozzie..." Sam grins. "Meeting adjourned!"


"Uhh, what does adjourned mean?" Beau scratches his head.

\\\

In the town of Henson also resides the slums, in which a notorious group of thieves live. They all live in a Bakery that is abandoned. Their leader is named Uncle Deadly, a blue scaly menace, who used to build toy horses. With his henchmen Angel Marie, Big Mean Carl, Sweetums (the ogre), Crazy Harry, Mad Monty and Clueless Morgan.

The henchman are playing cards on the afternoon of when the Mayor has announced his Wife's disappearance, as Uncle Deadly slams the door and goes over to the card table to rip the cards into shred.

"What was that for?" Clueless asked.

"WHERE IS THE PIG?" Uncle screams as his foul mouth squirms across the dark room.

"Uh, its uh,... in the closet?" Sweetums trembles his words.

Deadly has a big problem. Huge, huge problem.

\\\

Fozzie trots into Sherlock Gonz's office as Watson and Rizzo watch in shock.

"Why is he here?" whispers Rizzo to Watson.

Watson just shakes his head.

"Mr. Gonz!" Fozzie shouts, as he nervously walks through the building. Sherlock Gonz enters, "Um, -- my boss fired me."

"Of course! That silly eagle! Well, listen Fozzie, you can work with us!" Gonz shouts as he lends a hand to Fozzie.

"What's going on here?" Rizzo whispers to Watson.

"I don't know Rizzo, I just... don't", Watson whispers in reply.





 

Muppetfan44

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Nov 19, 2007
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I like it! Great start; very original. I can't wait to read more!
:smile:

Keep up the good work!
 
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