Best Quote???

[HPDJ]

What's your favourite Muppet quote?
Has to be-
:Life's like a movie, write your own ending.

 

[Harvey Towers]

Referring to my signature it seems to be:

"This be no intercom, this be a payphone!"

Here it comes again:

 

[That Announcer]

"Ya wanna knock it off with the booze? It's peelin' the paint offa the shuffleboard court."
-Tourist rat, MTI

 

[DanDanStrawberry]

"Today, you become a man of business!"
- Sam Eagle

"I got some loose jello, OK!"
- Pepe

Beaker singing Feelings was awesome too, and everything Statler and/or Waldorf have ever said is just perfection

 

[Skeeter Muppet]

Danny Kaye: Anyone here sing close harmony?
Scooter: No, but a near miss!

Kermit: (singing) You're a bindle bonnet, a Shakespeare sonnet...
Ethel Merman: (singing) You're Mickey Mouse!
Kermit: Is-is that a compliment?
Ethel Merman: Well, you called me a colloseum!
Kermit: Sorry about that...

Uncle Deadly: (singing) I hear singing and there's no one there...
Ethel Merman: You would.

Zoot: Forgive me, Charlie Parker, wherever you are!

Female Whatnot: Hey, hey you down there! Do you know there's a little old lady sleepin' up here?
Zoot: No, but hum a few bars and we'll fake it!
Animal: (singing) There's a little lady sleeping up here!

Old Man Whatnot: Uh, excuse me. Uh, crosstown buses run all night?
Zoot & Floyd: Doo-dah, doo-dah.

Gonzo: And now, ladies and gentlemen, while you are a captive audience, a display of tremendous tap-dancing talent with the added cultural component of...a pot of flowers balanced on my head.

-Kim

 

[HeraLirambar]

Gonzo- "It's okay, I landed on my head!"

 

[Beauregard]

Kermit - It's ok, I landed on Gonzo

 

[TogetherAgain]

oooooh, this could get dangerous, maybe I shouldn't participate... Aw, who am I kidding?!? Lemme' at it!!

ok, here we go:

Tour Guide Rat- And here is a photo opportunity you will not want to miss: the actual jungle location for the movie, Muppet Treasure Island!
Tourist Rat 1- Oh my goodness!
Tourist Rat 2- Keep up people!
Tourist Rat 3- Hey when do we eat?
Tourist Rat 4- Oh, my feet are KILLING me!

Kermit- So, how do I look?
Fozzie- Which one are you?
Kermit- I'm the one on the right!

Blind Pew- I 'sink I smell some'sing BURNING, no?

Rizzo- NEXT! Alright folks, have your checks mad out to Rat Tours, Limited. REMEMBER! We put the RAT in Pi-rat! ooh, that was a good one, thank you Mr. Flegman, NEXT!

Miss Piggy- Why are you telling me all this?
Lady Holiday- It's plot exposition, it has to go somewhere.

Gonzo- Wrath? is this captian bad-tempered?
Mr. Arrow/ Sam- IS HE BAD TEMPERED! The man, is a raging volCANO! Tormented by inner-demons the likes of which, mere mortals cannot fathom.
Gonzo- He's got DEMONS?!? Cool.

Kermit- Well, you may talk tough, miss piggy, but deep down, I know you're still the same beautiful, sensitive, vulnerable woman I was out with the other night... The one who scarfed down all that caviar.

Polly Lobster- ha! What an imagination. First pirates, now talking parots? What's next? A singing-dancing mouse with his own amusement park? WOO-HOO!

Police officer- Alright what's going on?
man- sh-sh-she stole my purse!
Miss Piggy- WHAT?!?!?
Police officer- Nice try.

Fozzie- Ah, a bear in his natural habitat... A studebaker.

Gonzo- You know that fruit is wax, right?
Rizzo- Oh yeah... I wondered about the texture.

Gonzo- But I'm not Jimmy-Jim-Jimmy-Jim-Jim-Jim-Jim. HE'S Jimmy-Jim-Jimmy-Jim-Jim-Jim Jim!

Alien Gonzo- Cape for Ed!

Gonzo- I just saw my whole life flash before my nose!

Pete- Peoples is peoples...

Kermit- hey, Pete, thanks for giving Piggy a job.
Pete- Is rats cooking, is frog washing, is pig waitress- is no coffe shop. Is ZOO!

Pete- Rats want job. Frog want job. What next? Penguins?
Penguin- Do you have any jobs available?
Pete, Kermit, and rats- NO!
Penguin- Well Excuuuuse us for LIVING!

See, I told you this was dangerous. ok, somebody stop me before I've quoted all of every movie..... please, stop me...

 

[DerekJ]

Female Whatnot: Hey, hey you down there! Do you know there's a little old lady sleepin' up here?
Zoot: No, but hum a few bars and we'll fake it!
Animal: (singing) There's a little lady sleeping up here!

And, to support the other lone surviving outposts of pre-Rizzo/movie Show-era quotes...

---
(Rowlf returns from stage, as ceramic Beethoven piano-bust looks on)
Kermit: "Very good, Rowlf, nicely done."
Bust: "If you ask me, he plays it too fortissimo!"
Kermit: "Uh, correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't Beethoven supposed to be deaf?"
Bust: "I'm not Beethoven, dummy, I'm a bust of Beethoven!"

---
Newscaster: "The results of the Sheepdog Trials are in--All the sheepdogs were found not guilty."
(Newscaster stampeded by sheep)

---
Scooter (with fortunetelling cards): "Now, when the Three of Lumps is ascendant with the Drowning Refrigerator, that means...let's see...the End of the World!!"
Kermit (returning from stage): "The Invisible Singing Cheeseburger has lost his voice!--There's nothing left on stage but the smell of onions!"
Beauregarde: "IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD!!"
Kermit: "...Well, y'know, it's not that bad."

---
Statler: "They don't write the old songs anymore..."
Waldorf: "Nope...Nowadays they just write new ones."

And, in a rare moment of support:
(both applauding)
Waldorf: "Wonderful!"
Statler: "Marvelous!"
Waldorf: o/` "'That you should care for me...'" o/`
Statler: "--What?"
Waldorf: "Nothing."

 

[Frogster]

Kermit: I just introduce them. I don't explain them.

Waldorf: Tell me, Statler, have you ever had any naval experience?
Statler: Well, I once saved a rat from drowning.
W: Really? How?
S: I gave him mouth to mouse recessetation!

Loretta Swit: Kermit, you can't just pick her up and throw her out in the snow.
Kermit: Not without a forklift, I can't!
Piggy: Very funny, wart boy!

And what about Fraggle Rock? Here's some of my favorite Wembley quotes:

W: Who wants tranquil? We want peace and quiet!

Mokey: But Gobo, we are parched!
W: Yeah! Besides that, we're thirsty!

Red: Oh no. That bump on the bean has given him amnesia!
W: And he doesn't remember anything, either!