Bert and Ernie's Greatest Moments

[SesameMike]

6:
I described it before right here on this forum. Go to:
http://forum.muppetcentral.com/showthread.php?t=17094

12:
I have copied the following description from a recent post by a cecilcurtiss on the SESAME_STREET message board in Yahoo! TV Groups:

-- begin copied text --
Bert comes into Mr. Hooper's store. Ernie is behind the counter. Bert
wants a tall cool glass of unflavored soda water. Ernie gets it for
him. Then Ernie decides to taste it.
Ernie: Bert.
Bert: What?
Ernie: You can't drink this.
Bert: Why not?
Ernie: Well, it's too dull, Bert.
Bert: I like it that way.
So Bert is forced to watch as Ernie adds, I believe, strawberry
flavoring, ice cream, strawberry syrup, and whipped cream.
Ernie: You know what I made, Bert?
Bert: What?
Ernie: I made an ice cream soda, Bert! Look at that, Bert! That's an
ice cream soda, Bert! Wow!
Bert: *quite upset* *Low voice* Ernie.
Ernie: Hmm.
Bert: Come here.
*Ernie leans over the counter so Bert can whisper in his ear.*
Bert: Ernie?
Ernie: Yes?
Bert: *At the top of his lungs, making Ernie cringe* I HATE ICE CREAM
SODAS!! *Lets out that (Aaaahhh!) of frustration that is so Bert!*
Ernie: You really do Bert?
Bert: Yes I really do Ernie!
Bert fusses for a bit. So Ernie makes him an offer.
Ernie: I'm going to drink this ice cream soda for you, Bert.
I'll...I'll do that just for you Bert. What are friends for Bert?
Bert: I don't know.
*As Ernie starts drinking the ice cream soda*
Bert: Ernie. I'm thirsty! What am I gonna drink?!
Ernie: Oh! Just a second Bert. *Goes under counter* Here. Have a tall
cool glass of unflavored soda water.
*Funny music ends skit as both go to their respective drinks*
-- end copied text --

 

[jeffkjoe]

My favorites are the ones where ERNIE AND BERT ALMOST DROWN...

You know, the ones where Ernie floods the apartment, whether by breaking the kitchen faucet or forgetting to turn off the bathtub, and you see Bert fending for his life.

Horrifying.

 

[GelflingWaldo]

After reading through the past posts I've collected all the skits people like and made one big list. So far people have expressed interest in 60 classic skits (after removing the duplicates). Please continue to post your favorite skits! Maybe we'll even end up listing them all.

If you see any repeats (2 items refering to the same skit) or errors in this list please post; or if want further explination into what a skit is about post and someone should be able to help.

01) Ernie's Sculpture of Bert
02) Bert & Ernie at the movies (lady with the tall hat)
03) Counting sheep, fire engines, etc
04) Bert & Ernie go fishing (Here, fishy, fishy, fishy!)
05) "Doin' the Pigeon"
06) Ernie's Disguise Kit
07) Trying to sleep with the dripping faucet
08) Bert plays checkers with Bernice
09) Bert tries to bathe his nephew Brad
10) "Rubber Duckie"
11) Dr. Livingston
12) Ernie eats crackers in bed
13) Bert you're 'it'
14) Banana in my ear
15) "I Don't Want to Live on the Moon"
16) Ernie & Bert go to Egypt
17) Licorice whip
18) Ernie gets ready to do the laundry
19) The Count sleeps over
20) "Put Down the Duckie"
21) "That's what Friends Are For"
22) "Dance Ourselves to Sleep" (with the Boogie Woogie Sheep)
23) Ernie prepares to write a story with Bert's help
24) Ernie paints Bert's picture
25) The Puppy Surprise ("Norman" or "Godzilla the Wonder-Pup")
26) The Rhyming Game
27) Ernie's Apple tree
28) "Imagine That"
29) "But I like You"
30) Ernie brings in a Dixieland band
31) Ernie Blows Away Bert's Book on Air
32) Ernie's Chocolate Ice Cream
33) The Dripping Faucet
34) "The National Association of W Lovers"
35) Ernie Eats Loud Snacks at the Movies
36) Bert's Purple Hand
37) The Blackout
38) Ernie breaks the cookie jar (and moves things to other storage places)
39) Ernie puts away his fire engine
40) Ernie puts away his toys
41) Bert showing off his bottle cap collection
42) Ernie & his invisible ice-cream cone
43) Would you like to buy an O? (with Lefty)
44) Do da rubber duck
45) Ernie's snowman
46) Imagination
47) Bert is asleep...Now he's awake
48) La la la...
49) D (Dee Dee Dee)
50) Ice Cream from bananas, ice cubes and gravy (with Oscar)
51) Cookie Monster Disguises as Ernie to steal cookies (with Cookie Monster)
52) Ernie takes a bath with almost everything - but not Bert's bowling ball!
53) Ernie prepares to get a newspaper from Mr. Hooper's store
54) "A dinosaur escaped from the museum" (with Herry)
55) THIS IS VERY QUIET!!
56) Unflavored soda water turning into an ice-cream soda.
57) Ernie's Barber Shop.
58) Ernie Makes Shapes with a Chain
59) A Surprise Present for Bert's Aunt Matilda.
60) Ernie Forgets to Turn off the Tub
61) A Picture of Elephants (with Lefty)
**) Tweedle Bug Skits


Wow what a list!

 

[Boober_Gorg]

This one's pretty funny too ...

 

[Tonichelle]

I don't know why, but the "Fishy-Fishy" sketch impacted my life in a huge way. I have dreams about it still. Isn't that sad? I guess it just really made an impression on my toddler mind.

 

[SesameMike]

60) Ernie Forgets to Turn off the Tub

Note that there were two separate E+B skits where they flooded the place.

In the one referenced here, Ernie has just come out of the bathtub. He is in the main living area, wrapped in a towel and still drying himself off, but something is bugging him that he forgot to do something when taking a bath. Bert suggests he forgot to wash his face and the like, but Ernie says it's not those things. When we see a wavy waterline rising, Ernie says "I think, I forgot to turn off the water!". Did one of them hold his nose before going under?

In the other Bert is doing something alone (probably reading a book) when he sees Ernie walking out the door with a glass of water in hand. Bert wonders why he's doing that, so he congratulates him for watering the flowers, giving water to a stray animal, etc. But Ernie keeps saying that's not why he's taking the water outside. Finally Ernie casually states that the faucet on the kitchen sink is broken/stuck, and he is taking the water from the tap, glass by glass, outside to dump it. Bert lets out a desperate "why didn't you tell me sooner Ernie" as we start to see that same waterline device rise onscreen. Meanwhile, Ernie swims through the water with yet another glass of water (!) as he continues taking it outside one glass at a time. (This scene has a spiritual connection to beginning of the Warner Brothers Bugs Bunny cartoon short "Water Water Every Hare".)

 

[Xerus]

Note that there were two separate E+B skits where they flooded the place.

In the one referenced here, Ernie has just come out of the bathtub. He is in the main living area, wrapped in a towel and still drying himself off, but something is bugging him that he forgot to do something when taking a bath. Bert suggests he forgot to wash his face and the like, but Ernie says it's not those things. When we see a wavy waterline rising, Ernie says "I think, I forgot to turn off the water!". Did one of them hold his nose before going under?

In the other Bert is doing something alone (probably reading a book) when he sees Ernie walking out the door with a glass of water in hand. Bert wonders why he's doing that, so he congratulates him for watering the flowers, giving water to a stray animal, etc. But Ernie keeps saying that's not why he's taking the water outside. Finally Ernie casually states that the faucet on the kitchen sink is broken/stuck, and he is taking the water from the tap, glass by glass, outside to dump it. Bert lets out a desperate "why didn't you tell me sooner Ernie" as we start to see that same waterline device rise onscreen. Meanwhile, Ernie swims through the water with yet another glass of water (!) as he continues taking it outside one glass at a time. (This scene has a spiritual connection to beginning of the Warner Brothers Bugs Bunny cartoon short "Water Water Every Hare".)

Bert also thought that Susan and Gordon were outside and they needed water to drink. If that was true, Susan and Gordon seem to have needed lots to drink.

 

[mikebennidict]

never understood why Bert kept guessing what was happeneing preventing Ernie from saying anything?

 

[Boober_Gorg]

never understood why Bert kept guessing what was happeneing preventing Ernie from saying anything?

Bert was outlining some of the many uses of water - otherwise the segment wouldn't be educational.

 

[SesameMike]

Here's a few more E+B skits from the first six seasons.

The Count takes down Ernie's building-block pyramid while counting it. He rebuilds it, then unbuilds it again, thanks to a mis-timed reprimand.

From the very first episode: Ernie is taking a bath, and Bert asks him to hurry it up while leading into the Solomon Grundy animation. Note that this was a vintage bathtub with "feet", and was located in the apartment's common area. (I hear that a bathtub in the kitchen is not uncommon in places like Greenwich Village.)

Ernie loses Bert's favorite paper-clip collection down the sewer.

Ernie, with Bert's umbrella, leaves Bert standing in the rain.

Ernie eat's Bert's cake. When confronted, Ernie says a monster framed him up. Then Beautiful Day Monster comes in and eats Bert's other piece of cake, and really does frame Ernie for it in the exact manner he described.

Ernie holds up "what happened here" pictures for Bert to figure out.
One item was an open birdcage; Bert quickly concludes that the bird escaped. But the last item was a blank sheet of paper. Ernie said it was a picture of a cow eating grass.
B: Ernie, I don't see any grass
E: (That's because) the cow ate it
B: But I don't see any cow
E: Well after she ate the grass, she went home!
BOTH: Why should SHE stay around.

---
Bert holds up "what happens next" pictures for Ernie to figure out.
Ernie constructs bizarre stories on each one, each with a different emotion.

Picture 1: A girl on a swing. Ernie starts crying, saying she would go home to lunch, and mom would be out of peanut butter and/or jelly. When they go shopping for more, the girl is going to accidentally leave her rubber ducky at the grocery store!

Picture 2: A waiter holding a food tray, seemingly oblivious to the banana peel on the floor in his path. Ernie laughs and laughs, saying the waiter is really a comedian, and this is one of his routines. I think he described his other routines as well.

Picture 3: A boy is about to light the logs in a fireplace. Ernie is suddenly happy. He says that after he lights the fire, he will go outside and slip and tear his pants. Then when he goes shopping for more pants, the clerk at the clothing store will turn out to be his long-lost brother.

Finally, a frustrated Bert tells Ernie to draw conclusions only on the basis of what he sees.

Picture 4: A car is driving down a road, seemingly oblivious to the piece of wood with a nail sticking up. Ernie answers that what happens next is "...a monster is going to say 'cookie'." Ernie could see that behind Bert was standing Cookie Monster, which we too see after the camera pans to the right.
---

Ernie makes like a dog, a duck, etc. and asks Bert to figure out what he is imitating. When it's Bert's turn, he begrudgingly makes like a locomotive. A train engineer and several passengers appear out of nowhere and follow.

Ernie returns from the zoo with a "teeny-weeny scrape" on his finger. When Bert presses him for the story, Ernie relates a tale of utter chaos at the zoo, e.g., elephants running around loose.

Bert shows off his drum set. Bert's solo consists of dry, intermittent beats on the bass drum. Ernie suggests and plays a more colorful rhythm on the smaller drums and even the crash cymbal, but Bert is not interested. Finally, they both play at the same time, jammin'.

Bert sneezes his nose off into Ernie's hanky. Ernie puts it back on at several different locations before getting it right.

Bert feels a draft, so Ernie puts a shawl on him (which was really enough) plus several other items against Bert's will, including a winter hat and scarf. By that time Bert complains he is "broiling hot", so Ernie turns on a fan and hands Bert an ice pack.

Ernie and Bert discuss tall, taller and tallest. Ernie is tall, Bert is taller, and Big Bird (who enters the apartment, knocks over a coffee table, and ends up sticking his head through the ceiling) is tallest.

Ernie misplaced a note he wrote to Bert, and trashes the place trying to find it. He finally locates the note in the clothes hamper (after throwing most of its contents hither and thither). Bert reads: "Dear Bert, it's your turn to clean up the... apartment. Love, Ernie".

Ernie decorates the place, and Bert wants to know whose birthday it is. He even yells "It's my Aunt Matilda's B-day and you remembered! What did you get her?" Ernie says he really decorated because YOU (i.e., the TV viewer) are visiting. This had that rarely heard sweet closing music.

The same music came on the end of the "You're a special person too" skit.

Ernie meets Bert's brother Bart, a salesman of sorts whose demeanor and dress is quite different from that of his sibling.

Note: Doesn't Ernie have any extended family? Bert has an identical twin brother Bart, an Aunt Matilda (though we never saw her), and a nephew named Brad.

Mystery sketch: begins with the phrase, E to B "I got a quiz for you. It's called 'What's my _____'."

There were also some beach skits.
-- Bert's sand castle is demolished by "Tough Eddie". "Tell him I've got something FOR him."
-- Ernie forgets to bring all his supplies to the beach -- except for the umbrella.
-- Ernie buries Bert in the sand -- completely. Sherlock Hemlock is summoned to find him.