Because I'm a Villain

[The Count]

Yeah... *Evil smirk. *In rapture over the storm that seems to have finished now.

 

[RedPiggy]

Chapter 6: I’m Gonna Always Be Loving You

Kermit the Frog sat in the bench of a small café, talking on the phone. He nodded. “Yeah, that’s great. I’ll be up over there next week. Uh-huh. Just tell Leon that I still sign the checks. Yeah. No, you’re doing great, Digit. Just get them all fixed up and I’ll take a look.” He heard Piggy’s voice laughing behind him. “I gotta go. You know how our dates go.” There was a long pause. He scrunched up his face. “Yeah. Bye, Digit.” He hung up his cell phone and turned around with his warmest smile.

And Piggy was arm in arm with … it couldn’t be.

Nicky saw him first and cleared his throat. Piggy followed his gaze and gasped. When they reached Kermit’s table, Piggy laughed coyly. “Kermie? I have news.”

Kermit frowned as he glanced back and forth between Nicky and Piggy. “You have a new guest star?” He nodded. “I have to say … I’m surprised. I was certain Scooter insisted on background checks for each star. Oh, wait, that was me.”

“Kermit? It’s not what you think,” Nicky offered.

“Try me,” he replied. “I may be a simple swamp frog, but I can be pretty creative.”

“I’m in love, silly!” Piggy blurted out forcefully, grabbing Nicky’s arm tighter. “I need someone to love moi as I love him.”

Kermit sighed. “Where are the cameras, Piggy?”

“Cameras?” Nicky and Piggy asked together.

Kermit nodded and smiled. “You do realize I must be late getting her flowers or something, right, Nicky?” He chuckled and turned his back on them and sipped some water. “She’s got it in her head to make me jealous. She doesn’t really love you. This is just a game to her, and you’re her most recent pawn.”

Nicky looked down at Piggy. She was pale and trembling. Kermit was right. She was playing him … playing them both. He smiled. He knew how to play as well. “Well, Kermit,” he said, still gazing at his lovely pork goddess, “I may be a pawn, but I couldn’t ask for a better player. It may be a game, but I’m glad I’m on the winning side.”

Piggy and Kermit both gawked at him.

Piggy cleared her throat and nodded, turning back to Kermit. “It’s … not a … game, Kermie,” she struggled to spit out. “This … this … is … for … for real,” she added wistfully.

Kermit nodded and turned back and motioned for the waiter. “Well, the good news is, this saves me a lot on my bill.” He gave the waiter a few bucks and stood up, facing them. He smirked. “I give it about a week. Once she tires of the novelty, she’ll be at my office hoping I haven’t,” he glanced at Piggy, “fired her.”

“Actually, Kermit,” Nicky said, “if you fire her for not dating you, that would be sexual harassment. She could take you to the cleaners.” See if you can come up with a retort for that, frog, he thought to himself.

Kermit glared at Nicky and gulped. “Well, be that as it may,” he managed to croak finally, “good luck.” He turned and walked off.

Piggy’s heart was about to break. He didn’t even argue. Was she really so … disposable?

Nicky bent down on one knee and kissed her, stroking her hair. “You realize, of course, you broke his heart.” He grinned. “However, I’m glad you made your decision.” He caressed her cheek. “You won’t regret it.”

“Yeah,” she replied softly, leaning against Nicky.

An hour later Nicky stared at Piggy as they sat at the café. “You’ve barely touched your hero.”

Piggy sunk slightly lower in her seat.

“I meant your sandwich,” Nicky offered.

“I know,” she retorted.

Nicky cleared his throat. “Actually, darling, I have some news as well.”

“Oh?”

“My job is taking me, uh, out of town.”

“Vous just got here.”

“Yeah,” Nicky said, nodding, fiddling with his fork. “It’s in Arizona.” He sighed. “It might take a few weeks.” He snapped his head up. “I promise, I’ll return.”

“I don’t believe you’ve mentioned what kind of job you have.”

Nicky chuckled and leaned back. “Private investigation.” He saw her stare at him in disbelief. “Come on, Piggy,” he added in a suave voice, “what better detective can there be beside a former master thief?”

 

[Muppetfan44]

OOOOOH I love the tension. Great chapter!

Post more soon please!

 

[RedPiggy]

Chapter 7: The Hand of Destiny

Nicky drove up in an old clunker and parked on the curb outside the retirement home complex in Sun City, Arizona. Hopper told him to survey the place first to find out if it was profitable. So far, Nicky was impressed: it looked less like a typical nursing home and more like a bunch of upscale condos. Even the sign out front didn’t really give away what it was. Only the tiniest font at the bottom said it was a retirement home.

Nicky went in the ornate front doors and headed for the front desk. A young dark-skinned woman looked up from her computer and smiled. “Hi! May I help you?”

Nicky smiled. “I’m trying to find a good place for my father,” he told her, placing one arm on the desk. “This place got pretty good ratings online. Do you mind if I take a tour?”

The woman nodded. “I’d have to call the admin first. It might take a few minutes.”

Nicky nodded and patted the desk. “That’s fine. Let’s take a few minutes.”

The woman blushed and called the admin. Nicky turned around as a burly man appeared. He extended his hand. “Hello, my name is Phil. I’m the administrator here. I understand you’re thinking of our community?”

Nicky nodded.

“Excellent!” he replied, clapping his hands together. “Let’s go.” He brought Nicky past the main lobby to a large conference room. “We use this area for lots of things: meetings, bingo, movie night, religious services –all voluntary, of course.” He pointed to the walls, all lined with various metal sculptures and paintings and clothes. “This month we’re celebrating art. All of these items were made by our residents.”

Nicky nodded, smiling, and gravitated toward a large metal sculpture resembling a broad-faced dog with a strange object in its mouth. He reached out but stopped just short of touching it. He looked back at Phil. “Do you mind?”

Phil chuckled. “I don’t think you can break it. It’s made out of junkyard steel.”

Nicky nodded again and just grazed the object in the dog’s mouth with his finger. A jolt of electricity went through him and he heard a barely audible whisper.

“You could be a cowboy. You could be a creep. You could be the king of all the good things in your sleep. You could be the person that you most admire! You could be a walking, talking, breathing ball of fire!”

Nicky gasped and jumped backwards three feet.

Phil laughed. “Static shock?” He nodded. “Yeah, that can be a killer, alright.”

Nicky cradled his finger and nodded briefly. “Yeah.” He couldn’t take his eyes away from the strange blackened warped piece of metal.

<><><><><><>

Piggy sat down in a gothic chair. “I was surprised when vous invited me.”

Count von Count brought her a cup of tea and sat down across from her. He grinned. “I am happy to have wisitors! Tell me, how are things vith your good friend? I vas surprised to see him return all my things the next morning before breakfast.”

She sipped some tea and crossed her legs. “He has a job in Arizona. He should return in a few weeks.”

The Count nodded and leaned forward and patted her on the hand. “If you think I’m going to interfere vith your relationships, please do not. Ve are friends!”

“We are?” Piggy asked, staring at him.

“But of course! This is a free country. You need no one’s permission to have new friends.” He glanced at his watch. “I apologize to seem so rude, but I must go over to Bitterman Bank before noon. There is a landowner meeting there.” He sighed. “I vas to discuss some important dewelopments with Doc Hopper.”

Piggy spewed out her tea. “Doc Hopper?”

“Yes,” Count replied slowly. “He bought a significant percentage of Sesame Street and the surrounding enwironment. Vith his inwestments, Sesame Street has been able to afford many improvements over the years.”

“He’s a complete sociopath!” Piggy protested, banging her fist on the armrest of her chair.

Count raised his hands in a placating gesture. “He has giwen us no cause for concern.”

“He wanted Kermit deep fried!”

Count closed his mouth and looked away pensively. He stared at a large stone fireplace, with glow-in-the-dark numbers along his mantle, for several moments. “I see.” He sighed and nodded. “That explains Kermit’s sudden move avay from Sesame Street. The poor frog – he vas really at home there. Ve all miss him terribly.” He shook his head. “His house is still wacant, as I recall. It vould be nice if he could return.”

“I’m going with you,” Piggy announced.

Count sighed. “I have no problems vith you coming along. However, this is a matter of business. I do not feel comfortable bringing up a past that has nothing to do vith me.”

“But Bitterman and Hopper are both people who tried to ruin us!” Piggy’s voice cracked. “She tried to tear down our theater. He followed us around the country trying to kill Kermit!”

Count von Count nodded and clasped his hands together. “Legally, there is wery little I can do, you see.” He pointed at her. “They have done nothing wrong. And I don’t have the controlling stake in the matter, if you’ll excuse the pun.” He chuckled briefly.

Piggy looked around. “You’re swimming in it – just buy out Hopper.”

Count shrugged. “These are mostly family heirlooms. They are waluabe mostly only to me and my family. I have been wery vise vith my inwestments, but I cannot match Hopper’s or Bitterman’s assets.”

“Is there anyone else on Sesame Street with that kind of dough?”

Count shook his head. “It took an inwestor to improve things there. If there had been anyone vith ewen a tenth of my assets, they would not have lived in a depressed neighborhood for so long.” He nodded. “That is why ve all vorked together under the frog’s inspiration to create our own educational programs. It is a kind of shared inwestment.” He took her gently by the hand and kissed it. “I vill take you to see Ms. Bitterman before our meeting. Doc Hopper is always fashionably late. You should be able to speak vith her before he arrives.” He sighed and leaned back in his chair. “I am afraid that is all I can do.”

<><><><><><>

“They’re just a bunch of old people,” Nicky complained on his cell phone as he drove back to his motel. “Hardly worth the trouble.”

“Ah didn’t ask you fer their ages,” Hopper growled on the other end. “Ah wanted ta know if they were loaded.”

“Most of them can barely afford the rent. It’s over three-thousand a month!” Nicky retorted.

“Then they got some dough,” Hopper concluded.

“But --.”

“But nothin’!” Hopper barked. “You ain’t no Robin Hood, boy. This is business. If Ah wanna buy them out an’ shove a bunch o’ wrinkled ol’ men an’ women out into the desert, that’s exactly what Ah’ll do!”

“Over my dead body.”

“Don’t tempt me, boy,” Hopper replied with a deadly tone.

Nicky hung up on him and threw the cell phone into the backseat. He drove past his motel, unable to focus. Hopper was a cruel and vindictive man. His sister wasn’t even that bad. She was merely arrogant and snobby.

Hopper was out for blood.

Nicky sighed. Whatever path he had wanted for his life, it had now taken a complete 180 and he found himself lost and disoriented.

He wouldn’t be a killer though. He wouldn’t do what Hopper wanted and rob a retirement community just so property values could go down.

He thought about that strange metal object he touched.

Well, maybe he would take just that one thing.

 

[RedPiggy]

Chapter 8: Going Downhill From Here

Ms. Bitterman looked up from her desk as Miss Piggy entered her office and sat down on a small chair. “You know,” she began condescendingly, “you can ask for an increase in credit over the phone.”

“I have been made aware that you do business with Doc Hopper,” Piggy stated without emotion, skipping the small talk. “I would like to discuss options.”

“My clientele list is confidential,” Ms. Bitterman replied.

“I have lots of contacts.”

Ms. Bitterman chuckled. “I also know what all of my customers have. You have quite a bit of credit card debt. Why should I even listen to you?”

Piggy frowned. “Doc Hopper must be put out of business.”

Ms. Bitterman leaned back and stared at the pig in confusion. “Why do you even care about some preschool ghetto?”

“So, he is a major investor there.”

Ms. Bitterman cursed herself silently. She hated it when she walked right into a trap. Still, she shrugged and decided to humor the pork diva. “I’m a profit-minded woman. What’s in it for me?”

“His investments?”

Ms. Bitterman shook her head. “Oh, no – I’m not taking on another tired Muppet project. I will never throw my money away again on such fool-headed nonsense.”

Piggy smirked. “Vous shouldn’t have fired the shrimp. He really is useful, after all. Besides, I didn’t mean just Sesame Street – I meant all of his investments. It is my understanding vous intend to meet with him today.”

Ms. Bitterman stared at Miss Piggy. Something was most definitely up. Was Piggy implying what she thought Piggy was implying? “How would I get my hands on all of his money?” she asked, testing the waters, resting her chin on her hand.

“Nothing illegal, naturalement,” Piggy replied softly. “However, the contract could name you the beneficiary.”

“The contract says no such thing,” Ms. Bitterman said, smiling.

Piggy smiled knowingly. “However, contracts do have a strange habit of changing when in your presence.”

“Hopper, unlike the Muppets, isn’t stupid enough to have only one copy.”

Piggy nodded. “Haven’t vous ever watched Sesame Street? There is a little thing called subtraction.” She adjusted the pearl necklace that draped down her chest. “If such a mathematical phenomenon could be arranged, would you be interested?”

Ms. Bitterman shrugged. “I can’t be involved in such messy and illegal things.”

Piggy smirked. “But, Ms. Bitterman – vous and moi are very similar. We are both women who love to get our way.”

Ms. Bitterman smiled and stood. “Feel free to show yourself out, Miss Piggy. Should your proposal seem viable, we’ll talk.”

<><><><><><>

That night, Nicky walked into the retirement home and chatted up the night attendant at the front desk. Thank God the healthcare field is made up of mostly women, he thought to himself. He asked for permission to see the art exhibit he’d heard about, because his uncle was one of the artists. She gave him permission and pointed to the door. He thanked her profusely and waved as he walked toward the still-open conference room.

“We’ll be closing it at nine,” she announced.

“Sure thing,” he told her cheerfully. He walked in and went straight for the strange object. He ignored the sudden zap he got as he deftly replaced it with an old beat up hubcap. He fastened the object in a specially-made jacket that had a hidden compartment for something that could fit that – though it fit only barely. It was terribly uncomfortable. He adjusted it so it wasn’t jabbing him in the back and then he walked out with a camera and a nod.

“Get some good pictures?” the attendant asked with a giggle.

“Oh, yeah, definitely,” he told her, making sure to keep his back out of her sight, just in case. “I’m going to make prints of these for my uncle.”

“That’s so sweet,” she told him.

“Yeah, he’s a good ol’ man.” Nicky snapped his fingers. “Oh, by the way, do you have a menu for what’s being served tomorrow? I’d like to join him for dinner.”

“Sure, it’s in the drawer back here. I’ll get one for you.”

As soon as she turned around, Nicky walked out the door.

In the motel Nicky called Doc Hopper. “Okay, look, I got something.”

“Something?” Hopper asked angrily. “As in, a singular word?”

“What do you expect from a bunch of Medicare patients?”

Nicky stretched out his arm to distance his ear from the phone, though he could hear Hopper cursing at that distance. He tried putting it back to his ear.

“How dare you chicken out on me, Max --.”

“Nicky.”

“Don’t you evah correct me again, you fool boy!” Hopper shouted. “Soon as Ah get done with mah dinner, you can consider yourself fired!”

“My apologies,” Nicky retorted with a smirk.

“An’ you can just wipe that smirk off yer face,” Hopper continued. “Walker’ll getcha yer pink slip. You disappoint me, boy.” Click.

Nicky sighed and punched in Piggy’s number.

“Bon soir,” she cheerfully announced. “This is Miss Piggy.”

“This is Nicky.”

“Oooooh, how is Arizona this time of year?”

“Hot,” he chuckled. After a short pause, he sighed. “I’m sorry, Miss Piggy. I seem to have investigated a hornet’s nest. I don’t think I can make it back to New York.”

“But you promised.”

Nicky held the phone for several moments.

“Nicky?” Piggy cleared her throat. “I really do love vous.” She paused. “I … I regret the suffering our movie caused vous.”

Nicky sighed and nodded. “I know, Piggy. You remember a guy named Doc Hopper?” Piggy didn’t respond. “He used to own this really awful fast food joint back in the day, before we met.” He paused. “I think I’ve upset him.”

“Be careful Nicky,” Piggy told him softly. He could hear her voice waiver. “He’s willing to do terrible things.”

“I kinda figured that out. Piggy, you,” he gulped, “should stick with the frog. I’m certain his world would be nothing without you.”

Piggy took several seconds to respond, but it seemed like an eternity. “Nicky? Are vous saying what I think vous are saying?”

Nicky clenched the phone tightly, biting his lip. He had no idea why he loved her like he did. All he knew was that he did. She was everything he wanted in a woman, even though she was a pig. “Goodbye, Piggy.”

“Don’t give up, Nicky,” Piggy whispered. “Kermie taught us to never give up hope, no matter how bad it is.” She sniffled. “Let me make a phone call.”

 

[The Count]

Sorry I didn't reply sooner... Was reading about Neva, I'm up to Ch 50, the visions of her future, or possible futures.

Anyway, back to this. First things first.
*Glomps Kelly.
That was for Ch 7. Mmm, how I loved that conversation which set things in motion for the interview in Ch 8. Yes, Piggy and Rachael are both women who want to get what they want... That's a perfect parallel. And of course, we have Nicky's acquisition of both the object and his termination. That also helps us get back to his being chased by the hunter at the beginning. But I suspect there's more to tell as threads weave themselves together. So please... Post more!

 

[RedPiggy]

I ran myself into trouble early on, LOL. I said Kermit moved away from Sesame Street on account of Doc Hopper, but in Comeback King, he still owned the house, as he lent it to the evacuating Fraggles. So, the story made some needed twists and turns so that I can get to where that story began.

At least I had some wiggle-room with Nicky getting Junior Gorg's crown. Sir David Tushingham was conveniently very vague as to when the crown went missing. It would have killed me if it had gone missing in the eighties or something. My whole timeline would be messed up, LOL.

I think I've got maybe two or three chapters left, tops.

 

[The Count]

That's okay. However much more you may have, post away, we'll read it eagerly.

 

[RedPiggy]

Chapter 9: That’s a Wrap

“No more holidays,” Snake Walker croaked as he fired his harpoon gun.

Nicky Holiday, stung by being swiped across his chest, couldn’t move, so he closed his eyes. He didn’t know if being harpooned by a trident would be painful … but at least he didn’t have to watch. He heard a cartoony clang.

“Ow!” yelled a goofy male voice. “That’s sharp!”

Nicky cracked open one eye. A giant blue shield floated just in front of him. Huh?

Walker remained grim and reloaded. He glared at the giant googly-eyed face that stared at him on the shield. “More ‘an one way to kill a … whatever ya are.”

The shield frowned. It turned into a large rocket and exploded just inches from Walker’s face in a shower of multicolored sparks. Walker yelled in shock and fell backwards. A blue and white rubber-duckie-shaped creature with googly eyes and a red and yellow-striped floppy top hat appeared, then turned into a blue fire hose with eyes and blasted Walker with so much water he got flung clear across the roof. As soon as the creature was satisfied with the result, he changed back into the rubber-duckie-like creature and turned toward Nicky. He spoke with concern, “You okay?”

Nicky grunted as he slowly sat up. “I … unh … hesitate to ask what you are.”

The creature grinned and flew in a backwards loop-de-loop. “You can call me Waldo, Waldo C. Graphic!” he announced cheerfully. He stopped and hovered just in front of Nicky’s face. “Your girlfriend’s mighty worried about ya!”

“Piggy?”

Waldo nodded. “She called Muppet Central at this late hour and demanded I get here an’ rescue you.” He chuckled. “You better be glad I can move through TV an’ the internet! Thanks to the good ol’ speed of light, I was right here in a jiffy!” He sighed. “Still, I can’t exactly be away from all things electronic for too long. Think you can get on by yourself?”

Nicky stared at the two fallen Walkers. His chest hurt. He wouldn’t be able to run very far that hurt at his age. “Are they out?”

Waldo glanced at them. “I can go make sure for ya, but then I gotta go.” He turned into a giant mallet.

<><><><><><>

The next morning, Doc Hopper frowned as he walked through the lobby of a hotel toward his limo. He called and called, but the Walker gang wouldn’t answer.

What would it take to get decent help nowadays?

He walked outside, grumbling. The doorman nodded and told him his limo driver picked up a girl for him and drove to the back parking garage. Doc Hopper’s face reddened. Workers shouldn’t get it into their heads to act without his permission. Independent thinking was enough to get you … unemployed, to say the least. He walked to the back parking garage and found his limo. He walked around to the front driver’s side … only to find the driver unconscious and tied up.

“What the --?”

“HIIIIII-YAAAAA!”

Hopper dropped to the ground, his back flaring up with a sharp, burning pain. He barely turned his head around. Piggy stood there, seething. “Y-you?”

“I’m not Kermie,” Piggy told him. “He may not be willing to take care of things, but I am.”

Hopper glared at her. He chuckled.

“What’s so funny?” she growled.

“This makes mah meetin’ with that bitter ol’ witch make a heap more sense,” he grunted. “Ah was wond’rin’ what she was up ta. Ah s’pose you’re in on it as well.”

“You’re going to stay away from Kermie and Nicky. That is all moi has to know!” she shot back triumphantly.

Doc grinned and nodded. “Ah’m awful light-headed … an’ Ah can see at least two o’ ya.” He sighed. “Won’t be long now, Ah s’pose.”

“Vous want moi to pity you just because your back hurts?” she growled, taking his tie and yanking it closer to her.

Hopper started to pant. “You … you … bettah hope those security cameras in this here garage … don’t … work ....” He closed his eyes.

Piggy looked up.

A camera aimed right for her.

A red light blinked.

She cursed to herself.

<><><><><><>

Ms. Bitterman grinned as she watched TV in her office later that morning. Miss Piggy was struggling against the burly arms of some police as they took her from the parking garage behind the hotel where Doc Hopper frequented. She thumbed through the paperwork on the new contract that she had had to debase herself to squeeze out of that redneck tightwad, making her bank the beneficiary on the event of death.

Hopper hadn’t been exactly Donald Trump, but it made her wound from buying out the Theater less painful.

And at least Sesame Street was a profitable neighborhood.

She watched as Piggy screamed for Kermit and Nicky before being thrown roughly into the back of the squad car. She couldn’t stop grinning.

Love was an awful thing to fight for.

<><><><><><>

Nicky held onto the scrap metal he had taken from that retirement home. When he stared at it from a particular angle, it resembled an obscenely large metal crown that had been squashed and burned. He watched Piggy get arrested on the news. She cried out for him, and he cringed.

Piggy was too kind-hearted to kill anyone maliciously. She had to be manipulated into doing it. Surely she had been framed, one of those “wrong place, wrong time” things.

Still …

… now she knew how it felt.

The End ---

 

[The Count]

Wha huh? Thought you had more than that in you. Dunno where this leaves us, if it flows neatly into Comeback, but it's your story... Thanks for sharing it with us.