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Beat the Time with today's contestant Harvey Kneeslapper

mikealan

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(The scene is the game show studio set, which is the same as the "Bring That Thing" show and the music off-screen is from "Pick Your Pet" and "Mystery Guest.")

ANNOUNCER: And now it's time for everybody's favorite classic stunt show "Beat the Time!" And here is everybody's favorite loud-mouthed stunt show host, Guy Smiley!

GUY SMILEY: (trying to enter the studio through the curtains with a brief struggle) (in a loud brief temper, to announcer) Stop calling me that! It makes me really upset when I was trying to go into the studio! (growls in anger like Kermit's as he finally enters through the curtains) (in a negative tone of voice) This is Guy Smiley, everybody's favorite stunt show host of "Beat the Time!" (now finally speaking in his enthustiatic voice) It's the game where contestants do their big stunt! Yes, so right now, let's meet today's contestant Mr. Harvey Kneeslapper!!!

(Harvey Kneeslapper enters the studio laughing.)

GUY: Hiya, Harvey and welcome to the show.

HARVEY KNEESLAPPER: Oh, hiya Guy! I'm pleased to meet you! (giggling)

GUY: Are you ready for the big stunt?

HARVEY: Yeah! Today I'm doing a big practical joke! (giggling)

GUY: No, you're not doing a practical joke today because all you have to do is to find five things that you ride on.

HARVEY: Whoa-you mean I really have to find five things that we ride on?

GUY: You've got it! But you've only got 60 seconds on the clock before it reaches zero!

HARVEY: Well, I've never done that before!

GUY: You've got to do it and you should get away from your practical jokes.

HARVEY: Oh, all right.

GUY: OK! The game is about to start. Ready? 3...2...1...GO!!!

(Clock starts ticking)

HARVEY: Do I have to start now?

GUY: Yes you should! So GO!!!

(Harvey runs out of the studio to find five things to ride on.)

GUY: Will he do it? The clock has 55 seconds to go and Harvey Kneeslapper has gotta find five things people ride on!

(Harvey enters the studio and carries a bicycle.)

HARVEY: I've got a...BICYCLE! (laughs)

GUY: Wonderful, Harvey! That's one of the five things that you ride on now you've got 45 seconds left to find four more!

(Harvey leaves the studio again to find four more things to ride on. A little Hot Pink AM boy enters the studio in anger.)

PINK BOY: Hey, that man with funny eyes has made a prank over my bicycle and he stole it!

GUY: Well, this is a television show and you should get off the studio!

PINK BOY: Hey, are you everybody's favorite stunt show host, Guy Smiley?

GUY: Yes I am!

PINK BOY: Gimme back my bicycle! (Grabs bicycle from Guy and leaves)

GUY: Well, you should get out of here right now because Harvey Kneeslapper has 30 seconds left to find four more things that people ride on!

(Harvey enters the studio, carrying a skateboard.)

HARVEY: I've got a...SKATEBOARD!!! (laughs)

GUY: Terrific, Harvey! That's two of five things people ride on!

HARVEY: (laughing)

GUY: What's so funny?

HARVEY: Well, perhaps there must be an easier way to find three more things we ride on.

GUY: Well, you've got 25 seconds to go and you must find three more things to ride on on time!

(Harvey pulls up one of the walls of his studio.)

GUY: Harvey, what are you doing?

HARVEY: Well, you should stand on the 'X' while I was trying to find three more things to ride on! (laughing)

GUY: Yeah? Well, hurry up because you've got 20 more seconds to find them! So GO!!!

(Harvey runs out of the studio. A small Pumpkin-Orange AM boy enters in anger.)

ORANGE BOY: Hey!! That man stole my skateboard and I need it for my skateboard tournament!

GUY: I know but you gotta get out of the studio because we're playing the game!! Get off! Get off!

(Orange boy grabs skateboard from Guy and runs off.)

GUY: Well, it looks like we don't have one of our studio walls right now and Harvey Kneeslapper has 15 more seconds to find three more things people ride on! Can he do that in time? (He now stands on the 'X' and is in front of the outside part of his studio. Suddenly, he hears some vehicle noises.) Wait a minute! What's that sound? That could be an airplane from the sky....no, it can't be! No, that could be a taxi....no! I think that's the sound of the bell! Wait-that's a train! No, it can't be!! Oh, no!! Wait it's...it's..I think they are.........AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! (Several cars, buses and trucks drive into the studio and drive over Guy.)

(Guy gets so scared as he picks up himself with his torn nose and torn clothes as his studio audience starts laughing at him.)

GUY: Err...oh, no!! My audience starts laughing at me!! Maybe this could be one of Harvey Kneeslapper's practical jokes! I mean, (Cars, buses and trucks drive in slowly in front of Guy) what the heck is going on here? I think this could be my worst nightmare!

HARVEY: (finally entering the studio, laughing) You didn't know that I've just got several cars and buses and trucks into the studio...I thought they were prohibited.

GUY: Cars, buses and trucks?? You've found them as you broke down one of our walls?

HARVEY: Yep! THAT's my easier way to find three more things that we ride on! (laughing)

GUY: Well, I can see some cars and buses and trucks around here,...and that means YOU WON THE GAME!! YOU BEATED THE TIME!!

HARVEY: I WON!! (laughing) I WON!!

GUY: Yes you did and because you found five things to ride on on time just before the clock almost reaches up to zero, you've won a trip to Miami, Florida by AIRPLANE!!

HARVEY: Oh, boy! I can hardly wait to make pranks at the trip! (exits while laughing)

(An ambulance arrives into the studio as game-show music plays again.)

GUY: Well, at least we've got a bonus thing to ride on which I have to go to the hospital....an AMBULANCE! (Hops into the ambulance) So this is Guy Smiley saying, See you next time until I feel better for another exciting game of "Beat the Time!"

(audience applauses)
 

mikealan

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Can someone please make this more funny? I can't make up any better ideas!
 

mikealan

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Oh, never mind. Now I believe my Beat the Time fan-fic with Harvey is really funny.
 

TotallySpiesFan

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How about making a script for "Here is Your Life: Cheese Pizza"?
 
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