Bald Muppets

lowercasegods

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Jim Henson had a handful of stock gags that he employed throughout his career, comic bits that would become synonymous with the Muppets: Characters exploding, characters getting eaten, characters getting beaten up and characters flying through the air to name a few.

But the one gag that seems to have been forgotten is the “bald” gag. In its heyday it was as frequently used as any explosion or carnivorous assault. Here’s a few examples:

SESAME STREET:
Ernie’s running a barbershop. Bert comes in for a trim and Ernie basically scalps him.

The adults of Sesame Street fantasize about being bald like Gordon, with a dream sequence showing each of them bald, including Oscar.

Big Bird notices that Olivia looks nothing like her brother, Gordon. So Big Bird takes her into the kitchen and gives her a haircut, resulting in her being bald just like Gordon.

The Muppet News Flash segment where Kermit interviews Rapunzel and her prince. Upon the prince’s request that she let down her hair, Rapunzel lets it ALL down, leaving her bald headed.

THE MUPPET SHOW:
Louis Kazagger (the Muppet Sports caster) commentates for a wig race, only to have his own hair jump off his head and take off running.

The newsman from The Muppet News reports on the race himself, only to have his own hair vacate his head.

Jim Neighbors is singing a romantic song to a female Muppet, the wind violently picks up, blows the girl’s hair off her head and eventually blows her out of the scene.

Bunsen Honeydew creates a formula meant to make hair shiny and smooth and uses it on Beaker, resulting in Beaker’s head starting to smoke and his hair being blown off his head. Another Muppet labs sketch began with Beaker showing the results of a previous experiment by popping off his hair like a cap.

FRAGGLE ROCK:
Uncle Traveling Matt happens upon some sheep being shorn. Subsequently a farmer grabs Matt and shears him bald as well.

These were funny gags, but sadly seem to have been forgotten. The Ernie and Bert bit is NEVER shown anymore, and those sketches with Gordon and the adults seem to have been lost as well. And though the explosions and eating gags remain a staple of the Muppets today, the bald gag hasn’t been used since the early 80s.

The one thing that always confused me is why Miss Piggy, with her long blonde hair, was never subject to one of these bald gags. It seems to me that she would have been a prime candidate. The closest she’s ever come to being bald was in a comic strip in Muppet Magazine where, in a parody of Dynasty, she tries to steal Gonzo’s hair growing formula and spills it all over herself, resulting in her getting clipped bald at the end of the comic. In the course of the Muppet Show, Fozzie’s had his fur set ablaze, Gonzo’s had his nose mangled and Kermit’s been stripped of his collar on countless occasions. So why shouldn’t Piggy have been made bald for the sake of a gag? She’s as susceptible to humiliation as the rest of the cast. If the Muppet folks are ever hard up for a gag, they’d be wise to make Piggy bald at some point. It’s funny stuff and would allow her a little much needed vulnerability.

If anyone out there knows of a bald moment that I’ve forgotten, let me know. Or in the very least, share your feelings on the past use and present lack of the classic bald gag from the Muppets. Speaking for myself, I’ve been waiting to see Piggy bald just once for years, and would think highly of the Muppet folks if they’d make it happen sometime soon. And if anyone knows where I could find footage of the Ernie the barber sketch or the Sesame Street adults in their bald moments, I’d appreciate the information.
 

Whatever

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Gads, Piggy would be so ugly bald! I for one am glad they never did that.
 

Xela

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In Fraggle Rock, they also show in one episode (I believe it is 'Inspector Red') that Uncle Matt really is bald, because he lost his toupee..
 

Katzi428

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This is jmho but (with the exception of Gordon on SS)
I think that a lot of kids are scared of bald people and/or Muppets so they pulled those segments.
(As I mentioned before, I was freaked out by James Earl Jones' bald appearance when he guested on Sesame Street when I was little)
 

lowercasegods

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Jeez, I'd hope that isn't the case. I mean, if Sesame Street stood for anything, it was the understanding and acceptance of all people. I mean, what if a little girl going through chemotherapy were on the show? I think kids would be more prone to show interest and concern in her ailment than fear. Anyway, I doubt that kids fearing bald people is the case, but your point was interesting. Besides, in the case with bald Muppets, they're fantasy characters, and I can't imagine that kids would be scared of hairless puppets, y'know? I mean, I've yet to see a kid run screaming from their television set at the sight of Fat Blue, Mumford or Bunsen Honeydew. So I guess I'm still confused as to why the Muppets have stopped using Henson's classic bald gag. Plus I'm still waiting for a sketch involving a bald Miss Piggy.
 

FISH'N'WOLFE

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lowercasegods said:
And though the explosions and eating gags remain a staple of the Muppets today, the bald gag hasn’t been used since the early 80s.
Actually, I have yet to see them use any of the old gags in any new production, I know it's been a long time since I've seen any new eating and exploding gags. It seems as if cartoon violence with the Muppets is considered too un-politically correct for these days, which is a shame. It's a big part of what's missing from them these days, along with all the other things that have been mulled over already.
 

Whatever

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FISH'N'WOLFE said:
Actually, I have yet to see them use any of the old gags in any new production, I know it's been a long time since I've seen any new eating and exploding gags. It seems as if cartoon violence with the Muppets is considered too un-politically correct for these days, which is a shame. It's a big part of what's missing from them these days, along with all the other things that have been mulled over already.
At least they still use penguins, even if they aren't thrown in the air!
 

lowercasegods

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Sad but true. The old gags have, for the most part, gone the way of Roosevelt Franklin, retired to the fading memories of generation X'ers like myself. I just wish I could find some of that old footage I mentioned at the beginning of this thread so I don't have to rely exclusively on my occassionally fuzzy memory for those cool old moments with the Muppets.
 

froggiegirl18

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I think the reason why Miss Piggy is never messed with is that they have created her character in that those who do mess with her end up getting it in the end.
 

lowercasegods

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I think you're right. Though it looks like she's gonna get worked over pretty good in Muppets Wizard of Oz. That scene where she's melting or whatever looks pretty wild. Still, it just seems like something is askew in the Muppet universe that Piggy, the most deserving and obvious target of the classic Henson bald gag, has never been a recipient of it. I still think her day is coming.
 
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