Avoiding Destiny

[Java]

I second all the squeals and happiness. Can't wait for more.

 

[christyb]

*sees Prawnie on the floor and bouncing Lisa* Medic! I'm starting to get rolling here again. Thank goodness. Enjoy this next chapter and the "situation" Lisa and I get in.

Chapter Eight

“See dis is something I don’t understand about the womens,” Pepe watched as Lisa and Christy headed to the restrooms with their heads together.

“What how they none of them will give you the time of day?” Rizzo said with Dr. Teeth, Scooter, Steve, Lips, and Zoot laughing.

“No, why is it that none of them can ever visit the ladies room by themselves? They always have to go in pairs,” Pepe glared at Rizzo and finished.

Unbeknownst to them Lisa and Christy had also seen Kermit and watched him wander off. Curiosity being what it is they walked casually to the ladies room next to the bar and waited outside the door just out of view. Just around the corner the waitress stood writing a few things in a book behind under the counter. Her hair spilled over covering her face as Kermit made his way to the bar.

Kermit stood there nervously. He shifted from one foot to the other. A green hand nervously scratched the back of his neck as he craned his head around to look at everything but the girl in front of him. Finally, he cleared his throat.

“Can I help you?” she looked up and asked.

“Um…yes..I was wondering if you ever drink,” Kermit asked choking on the words.

“Occasionally.” She replied leaning her arms on the top of the counter.

Kermit couldn’t help it his gaze lingered down. She was just so beautiful and him being a royal klutz at this. When she leaned unbeknownst to her the white shirt draped down just right. It revealed…it revealed…”Oh boy,” Kermit said aloud.

“Excuse me? Look buddy I don’t know who you are. I think you’ve had enough for tonight so go home to your pretty froggy wife and leave Piggy alone k?” Piggy said tugging her shirt up and huffing off to get her purse. Kermit made his way back to the table.

Around the corner Lisa stood with her head poking out around the corner. Christy stood right behind her a hand on her shoulder stepping on tiptoe trying to see around. They shared a look of sympathy for Kermit. Suddenly they heard, “Piggy come to the ladies room with me and I’ll show you how to use that new mascara before you leave for the weekend.”

In a panic Lisa’s eyes darted around to no avail. In two seconds they would be busted for spying. Christy’s head spun around and then she grabbed Lisa’s arm and pulled her back into the rest room. She quickly backed up into a stall taking Lisa with her. Lisa slammed the door shut locking it as Christy climbed onto the toilet so only one pair of shoes could be seen from outside. They held their breath as Piggy and her friend Maureen entered the bathroom.

“Of all the predicaments you’ve gotten us into this takes the cake.” Lisa hissed.

“You wanted to hear what was going on. Now be…oh yuck! I’m stuck!” Christy whispered in Lisa’s ear as her foot slipped wedging one tennis shoe firmly into the toilet.

“I can’t believe it…” Lisa started as Christy clamped a hand over her mouth jerking her head towards the outside of the stall.

“Maureen do you hear something?” Piggy asked looking at her reflection in the mirror.

“Nah, we’re here alone. So what was that I saw out there Pigathus? That customer was a little froggy hunk and you turned him down cold,” Maureen the mink perched herself onto the counter.

“Pigathus!” Lisa and Christy squealed each slapping the other’s mouths.

“We gotta get this place checked for rats. I hear scuffling. Oh Maureen, he’s cute but you know I’m taken.” Piggy dug in her purse procuring a rubber band and started to pull her blond curls back.

“Oh yeah, I forgot about Mr. Banjo Dreamer. When are you gonna get your mind off that psychopath and stick to reality girl? Reality is someone was trying to hit on you.” Maureen huffed.

“I can wait. When I meet my mystery man I’ll know. We’ll have a connection. That bumbling frog and I did not have a connection!” Piggy huffed and began to walk towards the door.

“Piggy, dear, come on. Don’t be like that. I was only trying to help. Say you driving home tonight?” Maureen said as they both left the room.

“You think they’re gone?” Christy asked.

“I’ll check.” Lisa poked her head out the door. “All clear, can you believe it. We waltzed right into true love.”

“Well I’m happy. Honestly I am. The question is how to fix Kermit’s blunder and get Butcher Shop Babe to give him a chance? Not to mention the love affair the toilet currently has for my foot could you please help me.” Christy braced her free foot against the base of the toilet and was pulling with all her might.

“Oh right!” Lisa came and wrapped her arms around Christy’s waist and began pulling to no avail. An impish look came across her face as she stopped for a moment, “Say I bet you wish a certain…”

“Liiiiissssaaaaa get me outta the toilet! This is no time to talk about my love life or lack there of. We gotta get out there to Pigathus, Butcher Pig, or whatever her name is!” Christy squealed.

Lisa giggled and kept pulling. After a couple more tugs both girls were laughing hysterically. Finally Christy remembered that she could just unlace her tennis shoe and slide her foot out. In moments the foot was free and Christy remarked, “They can keep the shoe.” Both girls ran out to look for Piggy, but she had already left.

“Now what?” Lisa moaned outside the restaurant.

“Lose something?” Fozzie Bear walked up to the girls.

“Oh sorry to disturb you. We were just following someone.” Christyb explained.

“My guess is that person was Piggy since she’s the only person besides you two to come out here. Why are you following her?” Fozzie asked cocking his head wondering why these two were following his friend.

“True love!” Lisa gushed.

“We know her cyber-boyfriend and frankly he just really really bombed. Now we’re helping things out so to speak, but I’m afraid we missed her,” Christy answered.

Fozzie’s eyes lit up with understanding, “You know Banjo Dreamer? Well why didn’t you say so! Piggy lives a couple of hours from here. She drives home on the weekends to be with her family. I can lead you right to her!”

“True love conquers all!” Lisa squealed bouncing.

“It owes me a shoe,” Christy muttered.

“Oh stop being such a cynic! I’m Lisa by the way and one shoed one is Christyb.” Lisa rolled her eyes at Christy.

“Pleased to meet you. Let me just tell my partner where I’m heading. We don’t have another gig lined up so he won’t mind if I go with you. Oh yeah and lets keep this a secret. If it got out it could become one big disaster!” Fozzie said leading the girls back inside.

“Hmm…your act was great. How about your partner coming to. You see we’re all headed up to Chicago to start a variety stage show. We could use a great comic team. We provide transportation. Only catch is we can’t pay much,” Christy offered holding her breath. A big name like Fozzie and Fozzie would help draw in the crowds.

“More like we can’t…Ouch that hurt!” Lisa rubbed her shin.

“That sounds great! Let me get my stuff and see if my partner wants to come too. If not I’m still game! Which car are you in?” Fozzie asked.

“The big multicolored bus that says ‘Electric Mayhem’” Lisa answered as Fozzie ran off.

The girls walked back to the table to a very angry set of co-travelers. “Where have you been?” Kermit frowned at them.

“Busy. Fozzie the comic is now coming with us.” Christyb quickly added.

“And we’re off to find true love!” Lisa squealed bouncing once more.

“We’re setting a stage show not on a joyride for you two to find boyfriends. We could have done that in Leland,” Rizzo muttered.

“This isn’t for us. This is for uh..uh…” Christy looked at Lisa.

“A friend we all know and love and this is all we’re gonna say.” Lisa finished.

“Yeah and Fozzie needs to make an..um…stop…in a town a couple of hours away. It is on our way and the least we can do for a great comic to be in the show,” Christyb bit her lip hoping the others would get even more suspicious.

“You’re up to something. I know it.” Kermit eyed both girls.

Christy and Lisa looked at each other and grinned. Lips looked down and remarked, “Say what happened to your other shoe?” Christy and Lisa looked down and back to the boys laughing until tears came.

Hours later a custodian made his rounds cleaning out the bathrooms. Quietly he whistled to himself in the empty club. In the last stall of the women’s bathroom a shoe was stuck in the toilet. After some work he eased it out and wondered if his boss would ever believe him.

 

[theprawncracker]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!! That was BY FAR the FUNNIEST chapter yet!! Oh I LOOOOOVE IT!! I love how Lisa squeals and bounces and how Pepe and Rizzo have a talk about girls, and then of course the part where Rizzo remarks about finding you and Lisa boyfreinds!! OH I HUG IT!! But the BEST part:

“True love conquers all!” Lisa squealed bouncing.

“It owes me a shoe,” Christy muttered.

Now excuse me whilst I tie that into my MSN screenname...

 

[The Count]

You mean you'll now be Shoeless Seafood Special?

Great chapter Sis... Rully liked that now Fozzie and Fozzie are coming along for the ride.
The ushy-gushy comes forth with Kermit bombing at picking Piggy up at the bar...
The two of you in the ladies room...
Great dialogue, and you get points for bringing in Maureen the Mink.
Funny how you lost that one shoe...

And no, I don't think that custodian's boss will believe him about finding that shoe either.

 

[redBoobergurl]

Christy this was the best chapter so far! I LOVED the scene with Lisa and Christy in the restroom, it was simply, pure comedy gold! I love too how Pepe's like "what is it with women and going in pairs?" Too funny! I'm excited to see the adventure continue, especially with Fozzie and Kevin joining them! More please!

 

[Java]

Wonderful chapter! Anxiously awaiting more.

 

[The Count]

Yeah yeah Sis... Please post more soon, we wanna know what happened to the rest of the Mayhem... And Piggy and Kermit too, if you feel like posting that in here also.

 

[christyb]

Don't worry you'll find out everything. I was just giving everyone a chance to catch up. A new chapter will be up probably sometime tomorrow.

 

[The Count]

Not worried, just waiting for the next chapter...
That's 1 fabulous fanfic story.

 

[christyb]

Hi guys! Here's part one of my "Boy meets Girl" mini saga. In this and the next chapter is the background I imagine Piggy really coming from. I know the stories she's spread but I always thought that was a front for what I'll start to show you here and in the next chapter. Now if you agree with me or not it's okay. Just sit back and enjoy!

Chapter Nine

Fozzie Bear, Christy, and Lisa huddled in the back of the bus whispering amongst themselves. Fozzie gave Dr. Teeth the directions earlier. Now Kermit kept looking over his shoulder every five minutes. Normally he wasn’t a paranoid frog. The trio huddled in the backseats made him nervous. Especially since he knew how much mischief two of them could cause. Words like “make it look like an accident” and “intervene when we have too” floated up front. Kermit turned to see Christy and Lisa staring at him. As soon as they made eye contact, the girls were sent into a fit of giggles.

After only two hours of the torture the bus pulled into a large trailer park. RV’s and double wide mobile homes sat in a row. Kids ran around playing each with each other. Friends stood around in clusters shooting the breeze. The air was hot and sticky. Somewhere a grill tempted all with the aroma of hamburgers. Everyone was out and about in this small community gathering.

Lisa mumbled in Christy’s ear, “Lead the way girl. You’re the only one who would remotely know anyone here.”

As they walked up the isle of the bus Christy hissed back, “No worries.
Last time I talked to Beebers she was living here. Remember we got an email from her right before we left inviting us to this thing.”

“Dios mio! Rizzo ju see that!” Pepe pointed out the window. Outside a teenage girl passed by with a plate of raw hamburgers. Rizzo and Pepe drooled all over the windows.

“Pigs.” Christy leaned over and pulled the shade over the window blocking their view.

“You’d think they’d never seen a girl wearing a bikini top and tight tiny shorts before.” Lisa rolled her eyes.

By this time a crowd had gathered watching the bus pull in. Most were wondering at who could be coming to the party. Others just went their way assuming the psychedlic bus belonged to a neighbor. Inside the bus Christyb, Lisa, and Fozzie shared a grin.

“Okay guys! Kermit, Lisa, Rizzo, and I received an invite to attend this part. Seeing as we were in the neighborhood and have an afternoon to spare we decided to stop by. So jump on out and join the party. The food is free. Which helps our budget big time. Kermit I hope overriding your authority was okay in this case.” Christyb stood up and told the others.

“No problem. I’ll enjoy seeing Beebers and her friend Beth. It’s been a long time since we all came up with Kevin to visit the dairy farm where they work,” Kermit said standing up to stretch his froggy legs.

Christy and Lisa jumped out of the bus. Lisa leaned over and muttered, “That’s not all he’ll see.” Which sent Christy back into snickers.

Within moments the small group had scattered. Dr. Teeth, Steve, Lips, and Zoot met a couple of other musicians and they began playing on the grass. Scooter found his niche in being a go-fer for the ladies setting up the buffet table. Rizzo and Pepe disappeared off to find the bikini girl. Foz and Fozzie took off on a mysterious mission. That left Kermit, Lisa, and Christy craning their necks hoping to spot anyone that looked familiar. Lisa squealed and pointed over the large smoker and grills, “Look the grease brothers! And Cami’s with them!”

Kermit shrugged his shoulders as he and Christy ran after Lisa. There working away at the grill were Kevin and B. Regard. Camilla stood a few feet over cooking French fries in a deep fryer. Christy began twisting her hair up and joined Camilla who was struggling with the basket of French fries. Camilla clucked her thanks as the two began working in sync. B. Regard tossed Kermit a spatula and motioned to the spot where the burgers were getting a little more well done than anyone wanted. Lisa grabbed the cheese and began adorning the burgers that were standing on plates in the grill to be warmed.

“You know all the grease in French fries isn’t good for you.” Kevin shot over at Christyb.

“Oh next year we’ll drag a portable oven out here so you can bake them!” Christy shot back giggling as Camilla “accidently” flung a little grease Kevin’s way.

Everyone was laughing and talking. All in all the friends were having a good time. Kermit leaned his head back to catch some sun for a moment. It felt good to relax for a few moments. Suddenly as a certain female pig walked up he began to choke.

“Could any of vous help moi carry the burgers over to the table and then we could begin?” Piggy tossed her blond hair back out of her eyes, “You! What are you doing here!”

“I…er…umm….well..you see….there’s…..uh…” Kermit began stammering.

Piggy’s eyes darted around. Most of these people were strangers. She remotely knew Kevin because his mother was a neighbor. Right now some girl with long dark hair was furiously whispering in his ear. Both her and the other girl looked oddly familiar. Piggy adjusted her white form fitting tank top while she waited.

Kevin turned around and began making introductions, “Piggy these are some good friends of mine. The girl with the long dark hair next to the French fries is Christyb. The one with the cheese is Lisa. Finally, this is Kermit the Frog. Great guy and all around the world’s best burger carrier.”

“Whatever. Grab a plate and follow me,” Piggy grabbed the nearest platter of cooked burgers and huffed off with Kermit following.

“Professional burger carrier?” Christy asked raising an eyebrow.

“What you put me on the spot!” Kevin shrugged.

“I hope this works.” Lisa grabbed a platter herself and took off towards the buffet table.

“Bawk, bawk!” Camilla grabbed a basket of French fries and followed Lisa.

“You got a point. We’ll stay as long as it takes!” Christy grabbed the remainder of the French fries and took off.

“Kermit is going to kill you if he ever finds out you girls are plotting against him!” B. Regard called after.

Soon all the food was eaten and night began to fall. The air cooled just as someone turned on the outdoor lights. Dr. Teeth and the others assembled their instruments at the end and began playing. A few dancers took the floor as it became obvious that things were not going well.

By no accident Piggy and Kermit wound up sitting together on her porch stoop. Neither were speaking to the other. Christy and Lisa looked together and mouthed “intervention.” Everyone knows the best thing about the south is that gossip goes around. By evening fell everyone but Piggy and Kermit also knew about the matchmaking scheme. Lisa looked up at Dr. Teeth and winked. Soon the upbeat music turned into a slow waltz. In moments everyone began pairing off according to plan.

Kermit began to get up and walk over to the girls. His plan was to either ask Christy or Lisa to dance. Before he could even get a word out Beau and Kevin had carted them off to the floor. Frantically he looked around to see every last person taken...except Piggy. Sighing and muttering curses towards his two best friends he walked back over the the lonely looking girl watching the dancers. “I know we hit it off bad. I’m sorry for being such a male pig pardon the term but you seem really wonderful and not to mention your practically gorgeous and I was just awestruck I’m not usually like this and was wondering…”

Piggy stood up and put her hand to Kermit’s mouth, “I’d love too.”

The crowd parted giving the couple the floor. At first the couple seemed really nervous and awkward with each other. As the ballad played on they relaxed against each other and the magic in the air seemed to do the trick. After a dance or two Christy looked around for Piggy and Kermit. Looking over she caught Lisa’s glance. She nodded her head towards a dark corner. Christy motioned for Scooter to dance over that way. Spotting what Lisa was talking about she glanced back over at her and grinned. It looked like the travelers were going nowhere tonight. For some reason not a one of them minded one bit.