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Sam and Friends Booksuperboober
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And last but not least, the big conclusion, with one final surprise cameo...
Kermit exhaled softly as he woke up. He glanced sleepily out the window of the front bedroom. The faintest traces of light were creeping into the morning sky (along with the sound of T.R. crowing from the barn), but it was clear the snow was still blowing in thick waves. One thing was for sure; it looked like none of them would be going anywhere for the next few days. Hopefully the extra food they’d picked up would be enough to hold them all over.
There was another soft whimper as Robin stirred in his arms. Kermit rubbed his nephew on the head. “Merry Christmas, Robin,” he whispered softly.
“Merry Christmas, Uncle Kermit,” Robin opened an eye part-way, “What time is it?”
“Way too early,” Fozzie remarked loudly from the reclining rocker near the window, “I think it’s…”
“Shhhhh!” Kermit raised a flipper to his lips, “People are still asleep!”
“Do you hear that?” Robin asked suddenly. There was the unmistakable sound from downstairs of a key turning in the back door. “That’s strange,” Kermit remarked, climbing out of bed, “Who would be coming inside? I thought your mother had the key, Fozzie?”
“Maybe it’s Peter with the Folgers to wake us all up,” Fozzie proposed. Kermit gave him a strained look. “Well, there’s only one way to find out,” he proposed, cracking open the door. The three of them tiptoed down the hall and the stairs. The entire house was quiet apart from the loud snores of everyone sleeping on the lower levels. Below in the den, the snores came especially loud from the Gorch residents, who lay in a heap by the fireplace with empty alcohol bottles in their hands (Scred mumbling all the while under his breath, “Tell your friend Veronica it’s time to celebrate Hanukkah. Drink your gin and tonica, but don’t smoke marijuanica…”). “Over there,” Fozzie whispered, pointing at a sudden bit of movement behind the television. The bear crept forward and jumped on top of the intruder. “Gotcha!” he roared.
“Ho ho ho, merry Christmas Fozzie Bear!” the intruder turned out to be none other than Saint Nicolas, looking quite dusty with soot on his uniform, “Oh, merry Christmas, Santa,” Kermit breathed a sigh of relief that it wasn’t someone worse, “You know, you’re a bit early.”
“Early?” Fozzie frowned, “I wouldn’t call Christmas morning early for this man, Kermit.”
Kermit leaned in close to the bear once he was sure Robin was preoccupied talking to the Claus. “Uh Fozzie, Doc brought the suit again,” he whispered, “He was going to be here when the children woke up to give them all their presents; Bob and Linda gave him all their names so he could do it individually.”
“Oh I see,” Fozzie snapped his paws. “Hey Santa,” he approached their visitor, “Did you bring me anything for a hopeful comedian?”
“Take a look under the tree, Fozzie, and see for yourself,” “Santa” pointed at the tree. Everyone was taken aback by the sea of new presents underneath it that hadn’t been there the previous evening. “Wow!” Robin exclaimed, rushing toward it and unwrapping several gifts with his name on it, “This is incredible, isn’t it Uncle Kermit?”
“Absolutely Robin,” Kermit nodded, asiding to himself quietly, “Poor Doc, he’ll be in permanent receivership after having bought all this.”
“Hey what’s going on in here?” Piggy, green facial gel sprayed on her face, entered the living room.
“Merry Christmas, Miss Piggy,” the Claus greeted her, “I wasn’t able to process your entire list, but I know Kermit here has something special for you.”
“Uh, yeah,” Kermit reached into his robe pocket and extracted the present he’d picked up and Jenny’s store the previous evening. “I got this especially for you, Piggy,” he told her, “This is why I…”
Piggy snatched it off him and tore off the wrapper. “A diamond-encrusted pig-design necklace!” she gasped in delight.
“Well I knew you were looking through the catalogs and…” Kermit didn’t get a chance to finish, as Piggy started shrieking in absolute delight and smothered him with over-the-top kisses. “Oh Kermie, thank you, thank you, thank you!” she screamed loud enough to shatter every window in the farmhouse.
“Well, it looks as if I should be on my way,” “Santa,” glanced at the clock on the wall, “I’ve still got much to do before my work’s done, but once you get to look around at what else I’ve brought for you, you’ll all be quite happy. “Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good, er, morning.”
He walked to the chimney and rose up it almost as if by magic. “Amazing,” Fozzie glanced up it after him, “How did he do that?”
Kermit pried himself loose from Piggy. “Well Fozzie, you know Doc, always an incredible device up his sleeve,” the frog remarked.
“What about me?” came Doc’s voice from behind them. The inventor and Sprocket were standing at the foot of the stairs in their pajamas. “Oh, that was sure a quick change, Doc,” Kermit told him, “that was nice of you to bring all those gifts, even though it probably cost you a fortune.”
“What gifts?” Doc was completely puzzled, “Sprocket and I were sound asleep until about three minutes ago. We just came down to the bathroom to get a drink of water; we would have gone right back to bed if the pig here hadn’t started shouting.”
You mean…?” Kermit’s eyes shot back and forth between the inventor and the chimney, “But if it wasn’t you, then who…?”
He ran to the chimney and glanced up it. “Nah,” he shrugged, “It couldn’t have been him.”
“Ho ho ho, merry Christmas!” came a distant cry over the sounds of sleigh bells jingling. Everyone glanced upward at the ceiling. “Could it?” Kermit partially corrected himself.
“Hey Kermit, guys?” came Max’s voice from inside the kitchen where he had been hung up inside the basement door, “I think you’d better take a look what Kris Kringle left in here.”
“What?” Kermit pushed the door open. His jaw dropped when he saw what Max was talking about. “I don’t believe it!” he exclaimed.
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“Daddy,” Alan felt Christine’s arm nudging against his. He opened his eyes from a restful night’s sleep. “What’s going on?” he asked sleepily.
“Listen,” the girl pointed in the direction of the ceiling (as they were still reclined into the wall, everything was absolute pitch black). The hotel’s intercom system was buzzing to life. “Merry Christmas, ladies and gentlemen,” Fozzie announced over it, “For your Christmas morning wakeup call, we’ve got a special treat for you. Kermit?”
“Was I dumb, or was I blind?” Kermit sang over the intercom, “Or did my heart just lose its mind? Why’d I go and throw our perfect dream away?”
“Looking back I’ll never know,” Piggy joined in with him, “Why I ever let you go. But destiny can see we deserve to have another day.”
“What’s the singing for?” Zachary woke up as well.
“I don’t know, but there’s one way we can find out,” Alan stood upright and pushed at the bed until it fell back down into the room with a low thump. There was already a stream of guests heading down the stairs toward the actual farmhouse (with clumps of people gathered around the elevator, it was clear that was going to just be a bottleneck. “Do you know what’s going on here?” Alan asked Grover as he passed him on the ninth floor landing.
“You’re guess would be as good as mine,” Grover told him, “There was no mention of a wakeup call, or why we need it.”
It was then at that moment that a new voice came over the loudspeaker. “Now I know that life can take you by surprise and sweep you off your feet…” she sang tentatively. Alan’s heart leaped. It couldn’t possibly be…
Time and space seemed to stand still as he barreled down the remaining stairs, unknowingly pushing people aside as he went. He slammed open the lobby door in a rush, accidentally knocking Elmo cold. “Alicia!” he shouted in absolute delight. It was impossible. But there was his wife at the other end of the den, a huge smile on her face to match his. They ran into each other’s arms, fittingly, just as the music playing on the record near the intercom reached its crescendo. “Love led us here,” Kermit and Piggy sang together as they embraced, “Right back to where we belong. We followed the star and here we are; now heaven seems so near. Love led us here.”
“Mommy!” the children finally caught up with their father and hugged their mother hard. “You made it!” Christine breathed happily between deep tears of joy, “How did you get here?”
“I actually don’t know, pumpkin,” Alicia gave her daughter a strong kiss on the cheek, “One moment I was falling asleep in Los Angeles, and the next I’m waking up here in the kitchen of this place. It’s a genuine miracle!”
“It was Santa,” Robin told her over the din of the other guests filing into the den and gasping surprise at the latest arrival, “He must have picked you up while you were asleep and flown you here.”
“So take her hand,” Kermit, finishing up the song, pushed the couple’s hands together.
“And have no fear,” Piggy leaned her head into their chest.
“You’ll be all right,” everyone else finished with them, “Love led you here.”
“Santa was here?” Wembley awoke with a start on the top of the dollhouse, “Drat, I missed him!”
“Well it looks like he didn’t miss you guys; take a look!” Rizzo pointed at several stacks of presents clearly marked with TO BOOBER, TO RED, and so forth in the tree’s near corner. “Wowee, we’ve got presents!” Gobo led his friends on an excited charge to the tree. “Are those Fraggles?” Alicia stared down at them in wonder.
“Yes, and I know they’re not pessimistic at all,” Alan gave her a kiss of his own. “Oh, this is the perfect capper to what turned out to be a perfect holiday.”
“And guess what Mom,” Zachary climbed up into her arms, “I got to play hockey again last night.”
“You did?” she rubbed his hair affectionately, “I’m so proud for you. I’m glad you’re coming out of your shell again.”
“Well, I’m starting to realize that life does move on,” the boy told her, “And I really don’t want to get left behind at all.”
“Well just look at us,” Alan put an arm around his entire family, “It’s Christmas Day, and we’re all flat broke and with no jobs…and we’ve all got each other I don’t think any other family could be wealthier.”
“Still,” Doc Bullfrog hobbled forward on his cane, “It would be a shame to see such nice people in the unemployment line. Mr. Reiser, seeing how well you can cook, how’d you like a job with the Riverside Rest’s culinary staff?”
“Really?” Alan’s jaw dropped at this remarkable turn of events.
“Well of course,” the bullfrog told him, “As Mrs. Otter and her son can tell you, it is Christmas, the time for charity.”
“And uh, Mrs. Reiser,” Kermit approached Alicia, “We’re always looking for new people to help as well. We have been in need of a new marketing director for our production company for a while now. From what your husband here told me of your background, you’d fit the bill perfectly. We’d also provide you with free transportation so you won’t have to be apart from your family again. What do you say?”
The Reisers stared at each other in mute excitement. “I guess that’s a yes,” the frog nodded, “You can start after the holidays; we’ll pay you time and a half.”
The family embraced in happy delight at their sudden rise from squalor. "How dumb can you get?" Statler snorted from the sofa, "If it was that easy to get them out of poverty, why didn't they bring this up earlier?"
"You know how it works," Waldorf told him, "Anything for a happy ending no matter how implausible."
Apparently the old men's opinions were in the minority, though, as everyone else in the room found the situation uplifting, as they broke into loud applause. “Come on, let’s go home and really celebrate,” Alan told his wife.
“But the snow,” Alicia stared hesitantly out the window, “It’s too thick to drive.”
“Not to worry,’ Emily stepped forward, “You can use my sleigh like your man here did last night.”
“But what could possibly get through snowdrifts like those all the way to our apartment?” the woman had to know.
The front door slid open, a snuffle around the knob. “Allow me,” Snuffleupagus proposed, “I can shoulder any burden, even in this kind of weather.”
“Sounds great, Snuffleupagus,” Kermit nodded, “It looks like you did come in handy after all here. All right, everyone," he told the others, "let’s help get the Reisers’ stuff together so they can go home in style. And before they go, let’s send them off in style. Play the old favorite, Rowlf,” he told the dog, who had been leaning against the piano.
“Right,” Rowlf tapped out the opening notes of the latest song. “There was a peaceful town called Rock Ridge…” he crooned.
“No, no, not that one!” Kermit protested, “The OTHER one!”
“I was just kidding there,” Rowlf grinned at him. He returned to the real song he had in mind. “When Christmastime is over and presents put away, don’t be sad,” he sang, “There’ll be so much to treasure about this Christmas day, and the fun we’ve had. So many happy feelings to celebrate with you, and oh, the good times hurry by so fast. But even when it’s over, there’s something you can do to make Christmas last.”
“Keep Christmas with you all through the year,” everyone else joined in, “When Christmas is over, you can keep it near. Think of this Christmas day when Christmas is far away. Keep Christmas with you all through the year. When Christmas is over, save some Christmas cheer. These precious moments, hold them very dear, and keep Christmas with you all through the year.”
“Has anyone seen my earmuffs,” Christine announced, glancing around for them.
“Here they are,“ Kermit handed them to her, “And listen, Christine, if you want somebody there when…well, the time comes, I’ll be there for you.”
“Thanks Kermit,” she gave him a final hug. “Goodbye, thanks for having us here,” she waved to the others.
“Christmas means the spirit of giving,” Mokey picked the song back up as she waved goodbye to them, “Peace and joy to you.”
“The goodness of loving, the gladness of living,” Gobo took the next verse, “These are Christmas too.”
“So keep Christmas with you all through the year,” everyone followed the Reisers to the door and waved as they stepped into the sleigh, Beauregard at the reins, “When Christmas is over, save some Christmas cheer. These precious moments, hold them very dear, and keep Christmas with you all through the year. Yes, keep Christmas with you all through the year.”
“Hey look up there,” Scooter pointed at the sky. Incredible as it may have seemed, a rainbow was now visible through a break in the clouds as the sun rose up in the east. “Of all the cheap, corny endings!” Oscar groused unhappily at the sight of it, “Sheesh, if they added any more sugar to this conclusion, we’d all have upset stomachs!”
“Maybe,” Kermit told the grouch just before he slammed the lid on his can shut to avoid hearing the coming lecture, “But if we didn’t have happy endings like this, the world would be a sadder place.”
He glanced up in awe at the rainbow. “Why are there so many songs about rainbows?” the song welled up from inside him.
“That’s part of what rainbows do,” Fozzie leaned against the door frame.
“Rainbows are memories,” chimed in Gonzo.
“Sweet dream reminders,” crooned Piggy, “True love will always come through.”
“All of us wish you the happiest Christmas,” joined in the Electric Mayhem and Jug Band as Beauregard started driving the sleigh away.
“And a happy New Year too,” Big Bird added.
“Today you’ve found it, the Rainbow Connection,” every Muppet waved goodbye to their guests, “The lovers, the dreamers and…”
A strangled cry broke off the song as Sam plummeted from the attic window, landing headfirst in the snow. “You funny!” the baby leaned out the window, “Come back up; I throw you out again.”
Sam let out a bloodcurdling shriek. “Help me!” he howled, completely losing his cool for once. He ran up the road after the Reisers’ sleigh. “Don’t leave me here with this child!” he cried out, “Wait for me! I can take it no more!”
His screams were soon eclipsed by that of Pepe, who was still after all this time running from the Swedish Chef. The prawn was soon flat against the house as the Chef advanced on him. “Byen byen,” he remarked.
“I think not, OK,” Pepe now looked strangely confident.
“Oon?”
“Say hello to my big friend Jason, OK?” Pepe threw open the storm cellar doors to reveal a gigantic muscular prawn in a hockey mask, which activated the chainsaw it was holding and raised it over the Chef. “OOOOOOO, it ern nightmaren oon Decembern twenten-fiften!” the Chef shrieked. It was his turn to run for his life over the snow hills, “Jason” in hot pursuit.
“So, what did you think of the story?” Statler asked Waldorf from the kitchen window as they asked this latest spectacle unfold.
“Very, very bizarre,” Waldorf told him, “Now that it’s finally over, we’ll at least get a break from all this madness.”
“You mind the audience will get a break because it’s over,” Statler corrected him, “We’re still going to have to put up with these guys until the next story.”
“If there is a next story,” Waldorf noted, “With so little reviews, the author may need a rest, maybe do another Monk story or two.”
“Oh, I’ve seen those ones,” Statler said, “We’ve got to get over to that section so we can heckle them.”
Neither they nor anyone else one noticed Yoda quietly climbing up to the roof, where the spaceship door hung open. A shadowy figure stood in the doorway, observing the scenes below. “Very amusing they all are,” the Jedi master told the figure, “Are you sure go down and greet them you do not wish?”
“No,” the figure, a tall bearded man, said with an obtuse smile, “It’s better this way. At least I can see they are doing more than all right. What do you say we take this baby to Kashyyk? I always wanted to see what Life Day there was like.”
“Then fasten your seatbelt you will; off we are,” Yoda took one final look at the scene below them before pressing the button to close the ship’s door. “So long, Kermit,” the man called down as loud as he could just before it clanged shut. Down below, Kermit’s head jerked up at the distant sound. “What?” Piggy followed her frog’s gaze up at the ship as it lifted off and rocketed upward towards the stars.
“Oh nothing, Piggy,” Kermit shrugged, “For a moment there I…ah, it doesn’t matter. Either way, it’s going to be a great Christmas Day.”
THE END
Kermit exhaled softly as he woke up. He glanced sleepily out the window of the front bedroom. The faintest traces of light were creeping into the morning sky (along with the sound of T.R. crowing from the barn), but it was clear the snow was still blowing in thick waves. One thing was for sure; it looked like none of them would be going anywhere for the next few days. Hopefully the extra food they’d picked up would be enough to hold them all over.
There was another soft whimper as Robin stirred in his arms. Kermit rubbed his nephew on the head. “Merry Christmas, Robin,” he whispered softly.
“Merry Christmas, Uncle Kermit,” Robin opened an eye part-way, “What time is it?”
“Way too early,” Fozzie remarked loudly from the reclining rocker near the window, “I think it’s…”
“Shhhhh!” Kermit raised a flipper to his lips, “People are still asleep!”
“Do you hear that?” Robin asked suddenly. There was the unmistakable sound from downstairs of a key turning in the back door. “That’s strange,” Kermit remarked, climbing out of bed, “Who would be coming inside? I thought your mother had the key, Fozzie?”
“Maybe it’s Peter with the Folgers to wake us all up,” Fozzie proposed. Kermit gave him a strained look. “Well, there’s only one way to find out,” he proposed, cracking open the door. The three of them tiptoed down the hall and the stairs. The entire house was quiet apart from the loud snores of everyone sleeping on the lower levels. Below in the den, the snores came especially loud from the Gorch residents, who lay in a heap by the fireplace with empty alcohol bottles in their hands (Scred mumbling all the while under his breath, “Tell your friend Veronica it’s time to celebrate Hanukkah. Drink your gin and tonica, but don’t smoke marijuanica…”). “Over there,” Fozzie whispered, pointing at a sudden bit of movement behind the television. The bear crept forward and jumped on top of the intruder. “Gotcha!” he roared.
“Ho ho ho, merry Christmas Fozzie Bear!” the intruder turned out to be none other than Saint Nicolas, looking quite dusty with soot on his uniform, “Oh, merry Christmas, Santa,” Kermit breathed a sigh of relief that it wasn’t someone worse, “You know, you’re a bit early.”
“Early?” Fozzie frowned, “I wouldn’t call Christmas morning early for this man, Kermit.”
Kermit leaned in close to the bear once he was sure Robin was preoccupied talking to the Claus. “Uh Fozzie, Doc brought the suit again,” he whispered, “He was going to be here when the children woke up to give them all their presents; Bob and Linda gave him all their names so he could do it individually.”
“Oh I see,” Fozzie snapped his paws. “Hey Santa,” he approached their visitor, “Did you bring me anything for a hopeful comedian?”
“Take a look under the tree, Fozzie, and see for yourself,” “Santa” pointed at the tree. Everyone was taken aback by the sea of new presents underneath it that hadn’t been there the previous evening. “Wow!” Robin exclaimed, rushing toward it and unwrapping several gifts with his name on it, “This is incredible, isn’t it Uncle Kermit?”
“Absolutely Robin,” Kermit nodded, asiding to himself quietly, “Poor Doc, he’ll be in permanent receivership after having bought all this.”
“Hey what’s going on in here?” Piggy, green facial gel sprayed on her face, entered the living room.
“Merry Christmas, Miss Piggy,” the Claus greeted her, “I wasn’t able to process your entire list, but I know Kermit here has something special for you.”
“Uh, yeah,” Kermit reached into his robe pocket and extracted the present he’d picked up and Jenny’s store the previous evening. “I got this especially for you, Piggy,” he told her, “This is why I…”
Piggy snatched it off him and tore off the wrapper. “A diamond-encrusted pig-design necklace!” she gasped in delight.
“Well I knew you were looking through the catalogs and…” Kermit didn’t get a chance to finish, as Piggy started shrieking in absolute delight and smothered him with over-the-top kisses. “Oh Kermie, thank you, thank you, thank you!” she screamed loud enough to shatter every window in the farmhouse.
“Well, it looks as if I should be on my way,” “Santa,” glanced at the clock on the wall, “I’ve still got much to do before my work’s done, but once you get to look around at what else I’ve brought for you, you’ll all be quite happy. “Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good, er, morning.”
He walked to the chimney and rose up it almost as if by magic. “Amazing,” Fozzie glanced up it after him, “How did he do that?”
Kermit pried himself loose from Piggy. “Well Fozzie, you know Doc, always an incredible device up his sleeve,” the frog remarked.
“What about me?” came Doc’s voice from behind them. The inventor and Sprocket were standing at the foot of the stairs in their pajamas. “Oh, that was sure a quick change, Doc,” Kermit told him, “that was nice of you to bring all those gifts, even though it probably cost you a fortune.”
“What gifts?” Doc was completely puzzled, “Sprocket and I were sound asleep until about three minutes ago. We just came down to the bathroom to get a drink of water; we would have gone right back to bed if the pig here hadn’t started shouting.”
You mean…?” Kermit’s eyes shot back and forth between the inventor and the chimney, “But if it wasn’t you, then who…?”
He ran to the chimney and glanced up it. “Nah,” he shrugged, “It couldn’t have been him.”
“Ho ho ho, merry Christmas!” came a distant cry over the sounds of sleigh bells jingling. Everyone glanced upward at the ceiling. “Could it?” Kermit partially corrected himself.
“Hey Kermit, guys?” came Max’s voice from inside the kitchen where he had been hung up inside the basement door, “I think you’d better take a look what Kris Kringle left in here.”
“What?” Kermit pushed the door open. His jaw dropped when he saw what Max was talking about. “I don’t believe it!” he exclaimed.
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“Daddy,” Alan felt Christine’s arm nudging against his. He opened his eyes from a restful night’s sleep. “What’s going on?” he asked sleepily.
“Listen,” the girl pointed in the direction of the ceiling (as they were still reclined into the wall, everything was absolute pitch black). The hotel’s intercom system was buzzing to life. “Merry Christmas, ladies and gentlemen,” Fozzie announced over it, “For your Christmas morning wakeup call, we’ve got a special treat for you. Kermit?”
“Was I dumb, or was I blind?” Kermit sang over the intercom, “Or did my heart just lose its mind? Why’d I go and throw our perfect dream away?”
“Looking back I’ll never know,” Piggy joined in with him, “Why I ever let you go. But destiny can see we deserve to have another day.”
“What’s the singing for?” Zachary woke up as well.
“I don’t know, but there’s one way we can find out,” Alan stood upright and pushed at the bed until it fell back down into the room with a low thump. There was already a stream of guests heading down the stairs toward the actual farmhouse (with clumps of people gathered around the elevator, it was clear that was going to just be a bottleneck. “Do you know what’s going on here?” Alan asked Grover as he passed him on the ninth floor landing.
“You’re guess would be as good as mine,” Grover told him, “There was no mention of a wakeup call, or why we need it.”
It was then at that moment that a new voice came over the loudspeaker. “Now I know that life can take you by surprise and sweep you off your feet…” she sang tentatively. Alan’s heart leaped. It couldn’t possibly be…
Time and space seemed to stand still as he barreled down the remaining stairs, unknowingly pushing people aside as he went. He slammed open the lobby door in a rush, accidentally knocking Elmo cold. “Alicia!” he shouted in absolute delight. It was impossible. But there was his wife at the other end of the den, a huge smile on her face to match his. They ran into each other’s arms, fittingly, just as the music playing on the record near the intercom reached its crescendo. “Love led us here,” Kermit and Piggy sang together as they embraced, “Right back to where we belong. We followed the star and here we are; now heaven seems so near. Love led us here.”
“Mommy!” the children finally caught up with their father and hugged their mother hard. “You made it!” Christine breathed happily between deep tears of joy, “How did you get here?”
“I actually don’t know, pumpkin,” Alicia gave her daughter a strong kiss on the cheek, “One moment I was falling asleep in Los Angeles, and the next I’m waking up here in the kitchen of this place. It’s a genuine miracle!”
“It was Santa,” Robin told her over the din of the other guests filing into the den and gasping surprise at the latest arrival, “He must have picked you up while you were asleep and flown you here.”
“So take her hand,” Kermit, finishing up the song, pushed the couple’s hands together.
“And have no fear,” Piggy leaned her head into their chest.
“You’ll be all right,” everyone else finished with them, “Love led you here.”
“Santa was here?” Wembley awoke with a start on the top of the dollhouse, “Drat, I missed him!”
“Well it looks like he didn’t miss you guys; take a look!” Rizzo pointed at several stacks of presents clearly marked with TO BOOBER, TO RED, and so forth in the tree’s near corner. “Wowee, we’ve got presents!” Gobo led his friends on an excited charge to the tree. “Are those Fraggles?” Alicia stared down at them in wonder.
“Yes, and I know they’re not pessimistic at all,” Alan gave her a kiss of his own. “Oh, this is the perfect capper to what turned out to be a perfect holiday.”
“And guess what Mom,” Zachary climbed up into her arms, “I got to play hockey again last night.”
“You did?” she rubbed his hair affectionately, “I’m so proud for you. I’m glad you’re coming out of your shell again.”
“Well, I’m starting to realize that life does move on,” the boy told her, “And I really don’t want to get left behind at all.”
“Well just look at us,” Alan put an arm around his entire family, “It’s Christmas Day, and we’re all flat broke and with no jobs…and we’ve all got each other I don’t think any other family could be wealthier.”
“Still,” Doc Bullfrog hobbled forward on his cane, “It would be a shame to see such nice people in the unemployment line. Mr. Reiser, seeing how well you can cook, how’d you like a job with the Riverside Rest’s culinary staff?”
“Really?” Alan’s jaw dropped at this remarkable turn of events.
“Well of course,” the bullfrog told him, “As Mrs. Otter and her son can tell you, it is Christmas, the time for charity.”
“And uh, Mrs. Reiser,” Kermit approached Alicia, “We’re always looking for new people to help as well. We have been in need of a new marketing director for our production company for a while now. From what your husband here told me of your background, you’d fit the bill perfectly. We’d also provide you with free transportation so you won’t have to be apart from your family again. What do you say?”
The Reisers stared at each other in mute excitement. “I guess that’s a yes,” the frog nodded, “You can start after the holidays; we’ll pay you time and a half.”
The family embraced in happy delight at their sudden rise from squalor. "How dumb can you get?" Statler snorted from the sofa, "If it was that easy to get them out of poverty, why didn't they bring this up earlier?"
"You know how it works," Waldorf told him, "Anything for a happy ending no matter how implausible."
Apparently the old men's opinions were in the minority, though, as everyone else in the room found the situation uplifting, as they broke into loud applause. “Come on, let’s go home and really celebrate,” Alan told his wife.
“But the snow,” Alicia stared hesitantly out the window, “It’s too thick to drive.”
“Not to worry,’ Emily stepped forward, “You can use my sleigh like your man here did last night.”
“But what could possibly get through snowdrifts like those all the way to our apartment?” the woman had to know.
The front door slid open, a snuffle around the knob. “Allow me,” Snuffleupagus proposed, “I can shoulder any burden, even in this kind of weather.”
“Sounds great, Snuffleupagus,” Kermit nodded, “It looks like you did come in handy after all here. All right, everyone," he told the others, "let’s help get the Reisers’ stuff together so they can go home in style. And before they go, let’s send them off in style. Play the old favorite, Rowlf,” he told the dog, who had been leaning against the piano.
“Right,” Rowlf tapped out the opening notes of the latest song. “There was a peaceful town called Rock Ridge…” he crooned.
“No, no, not that one!” Kermit protested, “The OTHER one!”
“I was just kidding there,” Rowlf grinned at him. He returned to the real song he had in mind. “When Christmastime is over and presents put away, don’t be sad,” he sang, “There’ll be so much to treasure about this Christmas day, and the fun we’ve had. So many happy feelings to celebrate with you, and oh, the good times hurry by so fast. But even when it’s over, there’s something you can do to make Christmas last.”
“Keep Christmas with you all through the year,” everyone else joined in, “When Christmas is over, you can keep it near. Think of this Christmas day when Christmas is far away. Keep Christmas with you all through the year. When Christmas is over, save some Christmas cheer. These precious moments, hold them very dear, and keep Christmas with you all through the year.”
“Has anyone seen my earmuffs,” Christine announced, glancing around for them.
“Here they are,“ Kermit handed them to her, “And listen, Christine, if you want somebody there when…well, the time comes, I’ll be there for you.”
“Thanks Kermit,” she gave him a final hug. “Goodbye, thanks for having us here,” she waved to the others.
“Christmas means the spirit of giving,” Mokey picked the song back up as she waved goodbye to them, “Peace and joy to you.”
“The goodness of loving, the gladness of living,” Gobo took the next verse, “These are Christmas too.”
“So keep Christmas with you all through the year,” everyone followed the Reisers to the door and waved as they stepped into the sleigh, Beauregard at the reins, “When Christmas is over, save some Christmas cheer. These precious moments, hold them very dear, and keep Christmas with you all through the year. Yes, keep Christmas with you all through the year.”
“Hey look up there,” Scooter pointed at the sky. Incredible as it may have seemed, a rainbow was now visible through a break in the clouds as the sun rose up in the east. “Of all the cheap, corny endings!” Oscar groused unhappily at the sight of it, “Sheesh, if they added any more sugar to this conclusion, we’d all have upset stomachs!”
“Maybe,” Kermit told the grouch just before he slammed the lid on his can shut to avoid hearing the coming lecture, “But if we didn’t have happy endings like this, the world would be a sadder place.”
He glanced up in awe at the rainbow. “Why are there so many songs about rainbows?” the song welled up from inside him.
“That’s part of what rainbows do,” Fozzie leaned against the door frame.
“Rainbows are memories,” chimed in Gonzo.
“Sweet dream reminders,” crooned Piggy, “True love will always come through.”
“All of us wish you the happiest Christmas,” joined in the Electric Mayhem and Jug Band as Beauregard started driving the sleigh away.
“And a happy New Year too,” Big Bird added.
“Today you’ve found it, the Rainbow Connection,” every Muppet waved goodbye to their guests, “The lovers, the dreamers and…”
A strangled cry broke off the song as Sam plummeted from the attic window, landing headfirst in the snow. “You funny!” the baby leaned out the window, “Come back up; I throw you out again.”
Sam let out a bloodcurdling shriek. “Help me!” he howled, completely losing his cool for once. He ran up the road after the Reisers’ sleigh. “Don’t leave me here with this child!” he cried out, “Wait for me! I can take it no more!”
His screams were soon eclipsed by that of Pepe, who was still after all this time running from the Swedish Chef. The prawn was soon flat against the house as the Chef advanced on him. “Byen byen,” he remarked.
“I think not, OK,” Pepe now looked strangely confident.
“Oon?”
“Say hello to my big friend Jason, OK?” Pepe threw open the storm cellar doors to reveal a gigantic muscular prawn in a hockey mask, which activated the chainsaw it was holding and raised it over the Chef. “OOOOOOO, it ern nightmaren oon Decembern twenten-fiften!” the Chef shrieked. It was his turn to run for his life over the snow hills, “Jason” in hot pursuit.
“So, what did you think of the story?” Statler asked Waldorf from the kitchen window as they asked this latest spectacle unfold.
“Very, very bizarre,” Waldorf told him, “Now that it’s finally over, we’ll at least get a break from all this madness.”
“You mind the audience will get a break because it’s over,” Statler corrected him, “We’re still going to have to put up with these guys until the next story.”
“If there is a next story,” Waldorf noted, “With so little reviews, the author may need a rest, maybe do another Monk story or two.”
“Oh, I’ve seen those ones,” Statler said, “We’ve got to get over to that section so we can heckle them.”
Neither they nor anyone else one noticed Yoda quietly climbing up to the roof, where the spaceship door hung open. A shadowy figure stood in the doorway, observing the scenes below. “Very amusing they all are,” the Jedi master told the figure, “Are you sure go down and greet them you do not wish?”
“No,” the figure, a tall bearded man, said with an obtuse smile, “It’s better this way. At least I can see they are doing more than all right. What do you say we take this baby to Kashyyk? I always wanted to see what Life Day there was like.”
“Then fasten your seatbelt you will; off we are,” Yoda took one final look at the scene below them before pressing the button to close the ship’s door. “So long, Kermit,” the man called down as loud as he could just before it clanged shut. Down below, Kermit’s head jerked up at the distant sound. “What?” Piggy followed her frog’s gaze up at the ship as it lifted off and rocketed upward towards the stars.
“Oh nothing, Piggy,” Kermit shrugged, “For a moment there I…ah, it doesn’t matter. Either way, it’s going to be a great Christmas Day.”
THE END
Go Jason, get the Swedish Chef! 
but I soon realized it couldn't be him.