Another Stupid movie to Overreact to...

[mr3urious]

Here's a little more info on those Tetris movies.

http://www.empireonline.com/movies/news/exclusive-tetris-movie-will-first-part-sci-fi-trilogy/

Apparently Kasanoff wants a trilogy because this is supposed to be a huge, deep story. How freaking complex are falling blocks that it needs three of these movies, let alone one?!

 

[Drtooth]

There's also going to be a Minecraft movie, but at least there's some story there.

I dunno why they still think this is a good idea. Now, granted, Battleship wasn't exactly a bomb since it did well in countries that didn't know it was a board game and thought it was just another mediocre sci-fi movie. But Tetris or some bootlegged version of it is pretty much available free on phones (sometimes built in), so even the youngest person that somehow lived under a rock knows what Tetris is. Honestly, making this a "sci-Fi" epic sounds like they're just making a bigger, louder, even less funny version of Pixels. And when Angry Birds only did so so and Warcraft only pleasing a small segment of Warcraft fans here, but making bank in China, it really feels that even now, video game movies just aren't going to cut it. Video games are like movies now, so there's that disconnect. This Tetris film doesn't even feel like the level of "fans will understand" type films made by people knowledgeable of the games, if not the guys who created the video games themselves (like Ratchet and Clank and Angry Birds). Tetris seems like something they would have made in the early to mid-90's under the "Oh yeah! We totally get those bleep bloops them young kids are doing right now" mindset that gave us Super In Name Only-O Brothers and the sadly comparitively good Street Fighter live action movie. Side note- who'd've thought the one done when the franchise was well established and the film producers were young enough to know what it was would be the bad one?

 

[Drtooth]

I can't believe the original movie mentioned is 4 years old at this point. ONLY 4 years ago. Somehow it feels a lot longer than that. And we haven't so much as seen a DTV Oogieloves project since. WOW! I guess this is the one time we should be glad that preschool movies never make money at the box office, no matter how strong the license is.

 

[The Count]

Four years ago? Yeah, with the total number of posts/replies or pages there are to this thread, you'd think it was longer ago than that.

 

[Drtooth]

Not five minutes after I posted that, I found a really stupid and probably dangerous movie that is far more worthy of overreacting to on TVTropes...

AmeriGeddon, a paranoid delusional far far right propaganda piece unsurprisingly produced by medicine wagon barker sociopath Alex Jones.

Now, I could say this kind of hateful, brainwashing propaganda is exactly how we got who we got running for president. Blah blah blah. Or I can hope beyond hope that Brad Jones gets a hold of this and either makes it a Midnight Screening or Cinema Snob episode.

 

[Drtooth]

Ugh....

anyone see the trailer for "The Great Wall?"

just...just UGH!

Now, obviously the reaction to the fact that a movie about China having two main characters that are not-Chinese (or even the weaselly "all Asians can play all Asians" thing that kinda bugs me, 'cept for Sab Shimono as Uncle). I mean, yeah... that's a nice little Catch 22 they keep dragging themselves into. They can't make a movie without casting big, name recognizable leads, yet they never get the chance to make any big Asian actors and actresses recognizable name leads because they can't give them the chance to be big name leads because they don't get to star in lead roles because they're not big name leads.

Aside from that, the lesser obvious reaction is...

The movie looks unbelievably stupid. Micheal Bay is in awe at how stupid it looks. If it was meant to pander to the Chinese market, they sure have done a crap job of it. And they actually liked World of Warcraft the movie. The worst of all 3 completely dated, past their prime, kinda irrelevant video game based movies this year.

 

[The Count]

@Drtooth.
You say that if they meant to pander to the Chinese audience they've done a crap job at it.

But what if they meant to "panda" to the Chinese audience? Aaaaaah!
Kermit, please come back! ! !

 

[snichols1973]

So far, the biggest "rotten tomato" to steer clear of would have to be that horrible Sausage Party Movie, which is rated R and is chock full of the "F-word" in addition to other potentially nasty situations....

 

[Drtooth]

I plan to see it only because I'm aching for an American produced adult animated movie that isn't based on a TV show. Plus, the low bar of forgettable if not for the internet 70's Fritz the Cat knockoffs (including its own even worse sequel) would make this film look like an instant classic. I saw Cinema Snob's review of "Down and Dirty Duck" and as much as I like avante garde animation (to an extent), Sausage Party at least looks...well...at the very least coherent.

Seriously "Oh, the Duck was a girl all the time, and could bang the hero at any moment." I don't care how juvenile the sex and pot jokes get in Sausage Party, it cannot be worse than that. Or "Jesus Christ, Lucifer's a [totally acceptable in the 70's, horrifying now slur for gay person]." Yeah. There was no quirky review show to get the cribnotes on that one. I saw the entire thing. Ick.

Still, I want a freaking adult's action animated film the likes Japan keeps making with no problems to be made over here. We need our own Goku Midnight Eye (has nothing to do with Dragon Ball, BTW), Golgo 13, and (the most banal reference) Akira. I'm glad we got close to that with Batman: The Killing Joke, but that's it so far.

 

[ConsummateVs]

If Oogieloves became a whole series, just imagine all the movies they could've made!

Oogielove White and the Seven Oogieloves!
Oogienocchio!
Oogielovetasia!
Dumboogielove!
Bamboogielove!
Saludos Oogieloves!
The Three Oogieloves!
Make Mine Oogielove!
Fun and Fancy Oogielove!
Oogieloves Time!
Ichabod and Mister Oogielove!
Oogierella!
Oogieloves in Wonderland!
Peter Oogielove!
Lady and the Oogielove!
Sleeping Oogielove!
One Hundred and One Oogieloves!
The Oogielove in the Stone!
The Oogieloves Book!
The Aristo-oogieloves!
Robin Oogielove!
The Many Adventures of Winnie the Oogielove!
The Rescue Oogieloves!
The Oogielove and the Hound!
The Oogielove Cauldron!
The Great Oogielove Detective!
Oogielove and Company!
The Little Oogielove!
The Rescue Oogieloves Down Under!
Beauty and the Oogielove!
Oogieladdin!
The Oogielove King!
Pocaoogielove!
The Oogielove of Notre Dame!
Hercuoogielove!
Oogielan!
Tarzoogielove!
Oogielovetasia 2000!
Dino-oogieloves!
The Oogielove's New Groove!
Oogielantis: The Lost Empire!
Lilo and Oogielove!
Oogielove Planet!
Brother Oogielove!
Oogieloves On the Range!
Oogielove Little!
Meet the Oogieloves!
Boogieolt!
The Oogielove and the Frog!
Tangoogieloved!
Winnie the Oogielove!
Wreck-It Oogielove!
Frozeoogielove!
Big Oogielove 6!
Oogielovetopia!
Oogieana!

And don't forget about:

Oogielove Story!
An Oogielove's Life!
Oogielove Story 2!
Oogieloves, Inc.!
Finding Goobie!
The Incredible Oogieloves!
Oogiecars!
Rataoogie!
OOG-E!
The Oogieloves in: Up! (couldn't think of a better title for this one)
Oogielove Story 3!
Oogiecars 2!
The Oogieloves in: Brave! (couldn't think of a better title for this one, either)
Oogieloves University!
Inside Oogielove!
The Good Oogielove!
Finding Zoozie!
Oogiecars 3!

Okay, I might have taken this old joke a bit too far. And sorry if you lost any brain cells while reading this post.