Another Stupid movie to Overreact to...

[Drtooth]

Dear Lord! I found more news on the Tetris movie.

Suffice to say, this news is spinetinglingly bad. If you didn't think anything about the movie could be worse, wanna know the studio planning to do it?

Threshold Entertainment

Who are these people you may ask? Why the company behind the classic animated film:

YES! FOOD FIGHT!!! The Tetris movie is behind the same monsters who infected the world with that! In fact, the CEO of Threshold (who directed this disasterpiece and forced the worst jokes into the film) was saying how "brands are the new stars of Hollywood." Every bit as much as Pauly Shore and Rob Schnider, apparently.

If they're going by the "Transformers were successful" model, they're complete idiots. Transformers is a brand with a rich fictional background, and therefore stories can be made based on them. They've had several comic books and cartoon shows before those films started. And even then, the results are purely commercial, and a good number of the fans don't really care much for them. G.I. Joe got better reception with its fanbase supposedly. But it's proof that even if you have something that has a built in story you can screw it up. And yes, TF made a crapload of money overseas because there's less to have to translate. Even that horrible Battleship movie made money there, but Hasbro rightfully called it a failure.

So terrible people who make terrible movies are behind this. yeah. Suddenly Michael Bay doesn't look so bad.

 

[CensoredAlso]

I'm just convinced that Food Fight movie was just a Producers-esque scam, lol.

 

[Drtooth]

I'd agree, except that I think Kasanoff is too darn delusional to come up with an intricate plan.

I do, however, think the hardware thefts were an inside job. Someone realized the movie was too horrible to be released to the public. Hopefully, someone steals the hard drives for Tetris as well.

 

[CensoredAlso]

Someone realized the movie was too horrible to be released to the public.

Maybe it was one of the actors. I feel a great deal of pity for them every time I hear that dialogue, lol. Acting can be a very humiliating occupation!

 

[Drtooth]

Nah. One of the animators probably saw what they were unleashing upon the world and felt that it needed to be stopped. Even with good animation, the writing was Ark of the Covenant melt your flesh off bad. I'm sure by then the actors washed their hands of the whole thing and (I guess I have to be that guy) Charlie spent all his on blow. But enough of that.

Considering we don't like Russia anymore (and who could blame them, I'm ending the conversation right there), I'm sure they're going to hide the origin of the game. Which is like kid's anime dubbers hiding the fact the Japanese animated cartoon that we all know is Japanese and is only popular for being Japanese is Japanese. At best, this is going to be a knockoff of Battleship which was a laughing stock no matter how much it made overseas. Of course, it also helped that those overseas markets didn't know it was a board game. Tetris is a bit more well known. And I'm sure Threshold is working on a Pong movie about hyper intelligent gorillas as we speak.

 

[Luke kun]

The Banana Splits were like the SST of classic Saturday Morning in a sense... after all, we know that even though SST isn't a Henson show, Jim did contribute to it by creating Muppet characters specifically for the show; similarly, even though the Banana Splits were a Hanna-Barbera show, it was really Sid & Marty Krofft who designed and built the characters and the sets and everything.

But I digress.

Oh my god, don't remind me of those two...I still have that occasional Lidsville nightmare...

I blame Thomas for my fear of things with unnatural faces...that show traumatized me as a kid

I blame Brave Little Toaster. AAAH! THAT CLOWN!

 

[Drtooth]

I tried talking about this in another thread, but I think it's more suitable here.

Who are they trying to fool exactly with the Ouijia movie? It looks too sincere to be campy and too ridiculous to be sincere. Seems like there was an opportunity to actually make something tongue in cheek, but they went for "Final Destination with less sex and violence" bit.

 

[D'Snowth]

You know the Moral Guardians are going to be in an uproar over this, if they aren't already.

 

[Drtooth]

I really should put this in the sequelitis thread, but I think it fits right at home here.

Jingle all the Way 2 with Larry the Cable Guy. ALL that needs to be said.

 

[mr3urious]

I really should put this in the sequelitis thread, but I think it fits right at home here.

Jingle all the Way 2 with Larry the Cable Guy. ALL that needs to be said.

Because that was a sequel everyone was clamoring for... to a movie that was so bad it's good at the very least.