And If That Diamond Ring Turns Brass (Tinseltown)

RedPiggy

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The Count said:
Go get her Rach! ! ! Erm, so, yeah... Like, she has her happiness back only to have it taken away once more? Hunt down Moulin and um, uh... There's a rainbow for each of us, you just have to work some in getting the jackpot at the end. Why am I rooting for a villain Hmm, guess she's not rully a villain here, she's been humanized. And that's an aspect I've appreciated of your fic-style. *Sends Cloud 9 after the plane to shoot down any interference. More please.
That last post wouldn't have been possible without Wikipedia. I was born in '77, so I missed most of the seventies (well, all of it, considering I was an infant/toddler for the rest of it). When I realized what was running at the time, I thanked God for letting me have a way of getting some backstory for Rachel, something that kind of irked me was missing from VMX. Not that Hopper had a lot of backstory either (was Nicky the only one whose issues were actually addressed, no matter how briefly?). Still ...

1. In the movie, she was, well, "bitter". Her speech to Kermit about how money is important betrayed an implied loss of real love. Her choice of replacement for the theater seemed very strange for me. True, her flirting with Pepe and that other guy showed she distanced herself from forming actual relationships, but why a club? Considering how dark and understated Moulin is portrayed, not only in Return to Labyrinth but also in my fics, I decided to make Moulin the inspiration for the club.

2. She craved being the boss and used faked seduction to get her way. Charlie's Angels, according to Wiki, provided a source of inspiration for that, as well as real historical female leaders rising to prominence. Plus, Rachel fought with Piggy. I can imagine Rachel had similar reasons (and inspirations) to learn at least basic self-defense. Thus, Charlie's Angels and her father's attack help to explain that.

3. Last but not least, the fact that The Rocky Horror Picture Show aired around the time I needed helped A LOT. I was hoping there was some movie or something that could help me explain her attraction to Moulin. This movie provides all kinds of help, since it's alternative and about non-humans using seduction and violence. Combine that with Club Dot, and Rachel comes off as someone raised in a very uptight environment, where her own needs (physical and emotional) were never truly validated and explored, so she let loose when she started living on her own.

Why go into a list about Rachel's motivations? I'm wrapping up this story in the next chapter or so. I'm just trying to decide whether or not to just say everything in one post or split it into two.
 

The Count

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Split it... You'll get more that you want to fit into it actually fitted that way. I had to split the last chapter of my Christmas fic, and it worked quite well.

And mention RHPS in the dorms at your own risk, as there've been goings-on of that nature before from our resident best duo team.
 

RedPiggy

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*shudders* Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed that movie (sick as it is :wink:) ... but after what has been happening over in the dorms the last couple of days ... I'm not touching that with a 100-foot pole.
 

The Count

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Ha, I know whatcha mean. Oh well... Maybe things will settle back down again. *Leaves muffin for da author.
 

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The interior of the "Sexy Seven: Fine Jewelry and Watches" store was crisp and white, with a lightly varnished wood display case backed by mirrors on a side wall. An athletic Caucasian human man stood behind the glass counter, picking at his moussed black hair. He had glasses and a goatee. Kermit smiled as he entered the store. The man smiled as the small frog started browsing, but didn't say anything.

Kermit lightly tapped the glass and looked up at the clerk. "Pardon me," he asked, "what does 'chocolate diamonds' mean? They aren't really edible, are they?"

The clerk shrugged. "You can't ingest them," he replied. "It refers to the color. Are they for you or for someone else? LeVian has a very nice selection."

Kermit stared at the clerk. "It's, uh, for someone else?"

"Male or female?"

Kermit suddenly became extremely uncomfortable. He sighed, giving up and shrugging. "Have you heard of Miss Piggy?" He shook his head. "She has rather ... definite tastes."

The clerk retained a rather thoughtful look. "I haven't had the pleasure of selling her anything here," he noted. "Perhaps we can fix that. Did you have a range in mind?”

Kermit frowned. “You mean pricing range?”

The clerk smiled. “I don’t like to insult my customers. Just think of it like this: each piece of jewelry should match the giver.”

“Hey! I’ve been looking all over for you!” a tall pig with a glass of champagne in his hand announced as he stumbled into the store, staring at Kermit. “I just had a little – okay, a lot – and then you just disappeared on me?”

The clerk chuckled. “Does Samson know, Bobby?”

“Pshaw,” Bobby replied happily, “he’ll be back in a few. Arturrrrrro and … and … uh, Sssssamson, was it? Anyway, never mind: our man servant’s picking them up at the airport.” He placed his glass on the counter. “The way he drrrives, they’ll all be back tonight.” He glanced back at Kermit. “So … what’ve you decided on for Little Miss?”

Kermit’s face scrunched up. He started to tremble. He finally lost all control. “What is WRONG with you people? Is it too much to ask to have a single solitary moment that hasn’t been plastered all over the internet? How would you like it if I just automatically knew every last thing you’ve done today? Do you people hate your lives so much you have to just spy, S-P-Y, SPY on others?

Bobby’s jaw dropped. “Listen, greenstuff,” he answered at last, “I’m not the celebrity butt-kissing type, okay? Unless I’m on a date, of course, heheh. Piggy’s my … my … well, I know her, right? She talks about you absolutely obsessively! She just went psycho all over the airwaves with her own spin on your little outburst, and I completely agree! Only telemarketers should know what we do for a living.”

Kermit breathed in and out loudly. After a few moments, he started to calm down. “Then why are you trying to buy her ring?”

Bobby smiled wistfully. He shrugged slightly, his voice quiet. “Everybody deserves happiness, Kermit.”

<><><><><><>

Arturo sang to himself as he drove the limo towards Bobby and Samson’s house. Lena, Foster, and Samson sat in the back, watching television.

The phone rang. Lena looked at Samson, shrugged, and answered. “Yes? May I ask who is speaking, please? Well, we typically like knowing ze names of ze callers.” She looked at her watch. “Really? We can be zere in a few hours, I guess. Fine, whatever. We’ll meet you zere. Tell Bobby ‘ello for us.”

Click.

“Who was that, hon?” Samson asked Lena.

Lena shrugged. “Some woman said Bobby’ll be waiting for us on ze coast somewhere.” She banged on on the glass separating them from Arturo, yelling out the name and coordinates of a location. She turned back to Samson, a wily grin on her face. “It sounds tres romantic, Sammy,” she told him in a sultry voice.

<><><><><><>

Rachel got off the plane and headed straight for the bar in the airport. Why she had picked the plane whose pilot couldn’t fly in a straight line was beyond her.

Airport security gently took her arms.

“Hey, back off!” Rachel barked.

“Ma’am, you’re wanted in our office,” the security agent replied calmly. “Please come with us.”

Rachel half-struggled the entire way, grunting her disapproval when they pushed her into the office.

“I honestly began to wonder if I did the right thing,” an amused female voice noted.

Rachel turned. At the desk sat Moulin, resting her chin on her hands. She was smiling, dressed in a sequined blue blouse under a dark blue open jacket. Her hair shimmered under the lights in the office.

“What’s going on?”

Moulin kept smiling. “I wondered if you were the jealous type. Someone flirted with me at the airport in New York. It gave me the inspiration I needed to say I was leaving you.”

Rachel frowned. “This was some sort of … prank?”

Moulin laughed. “I was amused.”

“I’m not!”

Moulin’s expression fell. Her tone grew serious. “Fate knocked on your door, Rach. I get so tired of seeing people hear that knocking and then go back to bed.” She stood and extended her hand. “Take my hand, Rachel Kinderman. This is one dream from which you never have to wake up.”

<><><><><><>

Piggy held her cell phone in her hand, staring at the text message, consisting of coordinates and the promise of a night she would never forget. She rode in the back of a taxi. She had looked up the coordinates on the internet and realized the place Kermie was sending her was a small coastline place, with cliffs facing the breaking waves of the Pacific Ocean.

A night together, underneath the stars … Piggy’s heart leapt at the thought that he was planning some romantic interlude. Usually, she was the one who had to drag him on a date.

This seemed so unlike him.

Piggy sighed, mumbling to herself in song:

Why do I keep wandering in my dreams today?
Why do I keep seeming like so many me's?
How can I be turned around so many ways?
When will I know who I want to be?

Piggy kicked the back of the driver’s seat. “Hurry up!” she growled.
 

RedPiggy

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As the sun began to set, the northern side of the cove glimmered in speckles of soft light, like fireflies. The waves rolled past rhythmically and the flowers had not yet begun to close. There weren’t signs of civilized presence in this area, just pristine nature. Thick light-barked trees swept upwards from the soil like solid brushstrokes. As the grasses swayed in the breeze, one could almost hear plaintive flute-like melodies whispering to any listener.

Kermit and Bobby arrived, both dressed in tuxes. Bobby leaned down and whispered, “You look hot, greenstuff. She won’t be able to keep her hands off you.”

“Sheesh,” Kermit whispered back.

Stars began popping up here and there in the darkening sky. The glimmering lights floating around them mirrored the astronomical patterns.

Samson walked along a small trail, following the sound of crashing waves. Lena and Foster and Arturo followed him closely. Samson smiled. “This is … not Bobby,” Samson noted to break the long silence.

“It’s too … natural and out-of-the-way,” Foster whispered, nodding. “There aren’t any whips or chains around.”

Arturo laughed, rolling his eyes. “We haven’t arrived at the location, either, no?”

They finally ended up near the cliffs, spotting Bobby and Kermit the Frog, both decked out in crisp black tuxes, surrounded by what looked like glitter.

Lena glanced at Samson in confusion. “Why is zat frog zere?”

Samson couldn’t hide his puzzlement either. “So much for the idea this is some romantic get-away.”

Lena smiled. “Maybe he wants a witness.”

“For what?”

Lena shook her head. “You really can be quite stupid, Sammy,” she teased.

When they joined Kermit and Bobby, they introduced each other, chatting, wondering what was going on. Bobby wouldn’t say much, just chuckling evilly.

At long last, Moulin and Rachel erupted in a dazzling water display just in front of the cliffs, landing gently on the rocky ground by the edge. Moulin hurried Rachel to the grassy area where the others were waiting. Wet rocks had a tendency to make the average hiker … disappear.

Everyone stared at them.

“Thank you, every one of you, for accepting our invitation,” Moulin noted with a broad smile.

“Did you just fly here?” Samson gasped, his eyes nearly popping out of his head.

“The important thing is to realize that every one of us is now in a position to take back that which was stolen from us.”

“Is everyone here?” asked Kermit, nervously.

Rachel stared at the Muppets and the … very … attractive … human woman standing behind the large brown bull. The woman winked at her and licked her index finger seductively.

Moulin kept smiling. “Let us begin the ceremony. You will find there is no priest, no minister, no rabbi, no judge … no one to give us permission.” She inhaled deeply, as if absorbing the sounds of the area. “Only the soft melodies of magics known by me and desired by everyone. Just listen … and let it fill you … so that we can join our partners in truly magical and holy matrimony.”

Bobby grinned as he scooted over to Samson, who seemed nearly breathless as the soft melodies continued to synchronize the movements of the specks of light in the air, gently rising and bobbing and weaving to each and every note.

Lena started to sniffle. “It is such a shame we have nothing appropriate to wear. I guess ze Book was right … be prepared for ze wedding.”

Moulin chuckled. “That book condemned those who did not arrive as they should, when the friendlier response would have been to supply the wardrobe so they would have a chance to participate.” With a flick of her wrist, a small ribbon of mist twirled around Samson, Rachel, Lena, and Arturo. They gasped as each of them appeared in new clothes. Samson and Arturo wore highly-tailored black tuxedos, with blue flowers pinned to their chest pockets. Lena found herself draped in a light blue sequined sleeveless gown with a slitted hem on the right side, her hair sparkling with glued-on-like sapphires. Rachel wore a dark blue long-sleeved silk jacket over a blouse that shimmered in different shades of blue and green, her knee-length skirt flowing easily in the breeze.

Foster gawked at everyone, his face pale. He looked at his own clothes and glanced back up at Moulin. “I get to wear a T-shirt and some faded jeans?”

Moulin stared at him warmly. “Only if you know who you are, will you look like it.”

Foster grumbled. He wasn’t the fussy, fashionable type. He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, feeling his clothes change texture. He looked down: he wore a dark blue button-down long-sleeved shirt and black dress slacks.

Kermit looked around. Bobby had told him this was his and Piggy’s idea.

And she wasn’t here.

“Isn’t that pig friend of yours here?” Rachel asked sincerely, noting Kermit’s anxious expression.

He hung his head.

Foster walked up to the group. Not so long ago, he had wanted to slap the frog himself for lecturing him about love when he couldn’t even deal with it himself. And here this barely two-foot-tall amphibian was nearly making a dent in the earth, as heavy as his heart was.

Listen, and hear what I have to say, for a change.

Foster stopped himself from yelping. He glanced around, looking for the source of the strange whisper he had just heard. He spotted Moulin smirking at him. Did she --?

Piggy, meanwhile, was running as hard as she could. “Blast high heels! Why couldn’t Kermie … huff … huff … pick a nice parking lot to be romantic?” She dashed by a large tree along the trail, on which a brown sign hung with bold white lettering: Cantus Cove.

Foster felt an inner light well up inside him. He smiled and kneeled in front of Kermit. “Don’t worry, Kermit,” he said as he burst into a soft melody:

She'll make you happy,
Now and forever --
Until forever,
Your love will grow….

Bobby took Samson by his hoof, peering deeply into his eyes and sang:

He'll make me happy,
Each time I see him!
He'll be the reason,
My heart can sing!
He'll stand beside me,
And now I'm everything.

Lena placed one hand on her chest and wrapped the other around Arturo’s.

Rachel, shrugging, began to sing as well, “Days go passing into years.”

Moulin took Rachel’s hands and wrapped her lover’s arms around her waist. “Years go passing day by day.”

They all (well, all but Kermit, anyway) started to sing:

We'll be so happy,
Now and forever!
Until forever,
Our love will grow!

Kermit’s eyes started to water. Soon he heard panting right behind him. He saw everyone staring at him, smiling and giggling. He turned slowly … to find Piggy, her casual dress transforming into a sparkling white wedding dress with light blue speckles here and there in the lacework, smiling at him.

She gently took his hand. “I only know, he'll make me happy! That's all I need...to...know....”

He returned a relieved smile, placing a solid gold ring with white and brown diamonds running along the center of the band on a gloved finger. He drew her near and brushed away strands of blonde hair.

Everyone would have exclaimed their happiness when Kermit and Piggy kissed, but the three long-lost … and newly-found … couples were far too busy enjoying each other to notice.

The End!

Author’s Note: The song in the previous chapter was from Fraggle Rock. And, seriously, if you don’t know this most romantic of Muppet songs, I’d be ashaaaaaamed of yourself!
 

The Count

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Now that was an ending. Bravo. *Throws bouquet at author's feet. Thank you for sharing another side of your version of the Muppet Universe with us. :Huge :smile:
 

RedPiggy

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Ever since I discovered, watching the FR DVDs, that there was an actual place called Cantus Cove, the romantic in me decided it would be the perfect magical setting for a wedding....
 

The Count

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Wait a sec... What happened to Jenny? Maybe an epilogue? Or small side-story? Your readers have questions, I-- er-- we'd like to know. ;()
 

RedPiggy

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Actually, there were at least a couple of scenes that didn't make the cut, though really Jenny wasn't in them.

Gonzo was supposed to propose to Camilla.
Moulin was to return to the Kingdom of Moraine with Rachel (though I was toying with the idea that Rachel would find herself with Lena instead, leaving Moulin to go back home alone).
Foster was to look for a place of his own.

Those would have made nice epilogue scenes ... but I decided against it. Any further fics I write can address them.
 
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