Advice on getting over family deaths

[Misskermie]

WARNING- SERIOUS SUBJECT HERE!

Well, I need some advice on controlling my tears in public, because my little cousin committed suicide yesterday, and I cried so much. Does anyone have any strategies to help me ease my tears? I really need to concentrate at school, and the crying isn't helping me.

 

[Cindy]

So sorry for your loss. That must be so hard for you and your family.

Sometimes you just have to let the tears come. Hope you can find some time to reflect on your cousin and just cry as much as you need to.

I don't know if you have a pastor or someone spiritual in your faith that you can turn to, if so please talk to someone, that will certainly help. If you don't have anyone I'd be happy to talk to you. *hugs*

 

[Misskermie]

Thank You. I really appriciate it. I have been talking to some friends, and they've been helping me a little bit. I suppose that's a start.

 

[charlietheowl]

I'm sorry for your loss. I would recommend that you find a close friend to talk to help you through the day at school. Or perhaps you should take a day off if your parents would let you. Some quiet time with friends or family may be helpful.

 

[Misskermie]

Well, it's hard for me to do that, because I have missed a lot of days of school when I was sick, so I can't miss anymore days. And talking is very strict at my school, so it's very hard. That, and I don't really talk to my friends outside of school.

 

[Beakerfan]

I'm so sorry for you loss. When I lost someone very close to me, I cried every night for nearly three weeks. But I found things that helped: Firstly, I wrote everything I was feeling down in the form of letters to the one who died.

Find something (like a ball) you can keep with you and squeeze whenever you feel the need to cry - it will help take your mind off of what happened so that you can keep calm until you reach an appropriate time to cry.

Take deep breaths.

When you can, find someone to talk to - it doesn't even have to be about what happened. Sometimes, just having a normal conversation is more healing because it helps you move forward.

I have a stuffed animal I take to bed with me every night. He was given to me around the time my loved one died and he has been more comforting than nearly anything else - he has also been cried to more than anyone else in my life.

I hope these help, and I'll be praying for you.

 

[charlietheowl]

Well, it's hard for me to do that, because I have missed a lot of days of school when I was sick, so I can't miss anymore days. And talking is very strict at my school, so it's very hard. That, and I don't really talk to my friends outside of school.

I'd like to think that your teachers would be understanding about your situation if you explained it to them. Loss is a very hard thing to deal with and I'm sure they know that.

 

[Ruahnna]

Oh, Sweetie--I'm very sorry. It is always hard to lose a loved one, but many people don't have to face this reality of life until they are much older. My condolences and prayers for you and your family during this difficult time.

I would strongly recommend that you get a notebook and write down what you feel as it comes to you. Don't worry about content, honey--some of what you write may be "politically incorrect" because anger and sadness are often mixed up. You can always choose what you do with the notebook later, but right now--it's for you, a place to put stuff that you don't want to deal with in the moment. Also, one more notebook is rarely noticed in the sea of schoolbooks most students have. I used to keep a "stress journal" when I was in graduate school to help me process the difficulties of school, work, life, etc. and it was easily camouflaged in my other books.

 

[Misskermie]

Ok. I'll try all this stuff, and I'm feeling a little bit better.

Thanks you guys! I really apriciate the advice.
(Now maybe I can get somethin' done without Cryin'!)

 

[CensoredAlso]

I would strongly recommend that you get a notebook and write down what you feel as it comes to you.

I think that's very good advice. It's definitely helped me in the past.

My condolences, Miss Kermie, hang in there. : )