A Pig Out of Water

[The Flying Sheep]

Hmmm...how long before Fozzie spills the beans on Piggy's secret and gets the chop?

 

[Ruahnna]

Falling all over again

The effort Piggy put into practice the following morning made everything she’d done up until then look like a cakewalk. Kermit coaxed, nodded and smiled, thrilled with her newfound poise and determination. Occasionally, he commented on her form, and sometime made slight adjustments to her hand positioning, but inside he was elated. Her backstroke was impeccable, and she had learned to flip and cavort under water without becoming disoriented or taking on more water than a sinking steamer. One thing, however, remained to be conquered, and they worked toward it with grim determination: Piggy could not yet dive.
For the final scene of the water ballet, Piggy would not only have to dive, but dive from a tall pedestal wearing a headpiece that looked like something Ziegfield would have created for Independence Day Follies. Piggy had managed to do a passable head-first fall into the water from the mid-way diving board, but something about the height of the high-dive was throwing her. After a handful of increasingly unsteady tries, Piggy shook her head and climbed out of the pool.
“I’m all in,” she said, and some of her chipper mood seemed to dissipate. “I’ve got to get to the studio early today—they’re going to do a fortifying treatment on my hair.” She looked at Kermit, and her eyes looked worried. “I’m worried about the dive.”
“You’re going to get it,” Kermit insisted, and at her worried look, added quickly, “and if you don’t, we can splice the scene. Piggy, you’re doing okay with the diving—it’s the height that’s bothering you.”
Piggy nodded quickly. “It’s different up there—I feel all alone and vulnerable. I hope….” She trailed off, looking worried again, but Kermit patted her on the shoulder.
“Piggy—you’re doing fantastic. You’ve come so far in such a short time. I know you can do this.”
Piggy looked up gratefully. “I want to,” she said fervently.
Kermit smiled and held his hands up in mock surrender. “Hey—what the lady wants, the lady gets.”
Piggy gave an unladylike snort, but Kermit’s teasing had had the desired effect. She was smiling, and she continued to smile as she gathered her things and made for the gate.

Filming was good that day. Although everyone walked on eggshells around Kermit and Piggy, their long-time friends couldn’t help but notice that they did not seemed the least bit discomfited to be working in close proximity to each other. They were caught more than once smiling shyly at each other while they talked over last-minute staging for the day’s shoot.
Kermit kept his, um, chin up and ignored the whispered speculation on why he was still breathing, letting the work carry him forward. He did have the good sense to have a lovely box lunch sent to Piggy’s dressing room, and the even greater sense to not attempt to join her, letting her know that he would respect her space, her professionalism and her person while she was under so much stress. When they had met after break to finish filming the “Highbrow Street” scene, she had smiled her thanks at him briefly, and played her scenes with almost perfect comic timing.
If Kermit and Piggy were complacent that day, Fozzie was positively beaming. He was watching from the sidelines when Rowlf came up, and they stood in companionable silence as Piggy led Kermit through the elaborate sets of “Highbrow Street.” When the red light went off, Rowlf shook his head slowly.
“Go figure,” he said to Fozzie. “Yesterday, I thought we were going to have a dead duck of a movie on our hands—today, they’re all lovey-dovey.”
“Oh no,” Fozzie said sagely. “They’re not lovey-dovey.”
“Look pretty lovey-dovey to me,” Rowlf said mildly, not arguing—just observing.
“I guess so,” Fozzie conceded, “to an untrained eye.” He gave Rowlf a knowing smile. “They’re getting along better because they aren’t dating anymore.”
“Oh. Well,” Rowlf said philosophically. “That always worked for me.”

Piggy was already in the pool when Kermit arrived, warming up with some quick laps. She wore her swim cap again to protect her newly treated locks, and they set to work immediately with little chit-chat. After a grueling hour, Kermit called a halt, offering her a hand up out of the pool.
“Let’s call it,” he said gently. “You’ve improved a lot just tonight, but it’s been a long day. We’ve got tomorrow.”
“And only one more day after that,” Piggy said, and her eyes were worried again. “Oh, Kermit, I—“ She did not know what to say, but Kermit nodded his understanding.
“Sufficient unto the day—“ he began.
“—is the evil thereof,” Piggy finished with a wry smile. “Okay. I’m going home to eat a cheesecake and catch some zzzzs.”
“Speaking of cheesecake…” Kermit began, but Piggy swung around and fixed him with a look. He subsided immediately, but was not successful in wiping the smile off his face. Piggy shook her head in exasperation, smiling again, and she looked a little less worried as she left.

Their morning practice had to be abandoned. Kermit was needed at the set to deal with a scheduling conflict and neither of them felt comfortable enough with Piggy swimming alone to want to push it. She had the luxury of a second cup of tea and a fresh fruit plate before the studio limo picked her up, and—once on the set, resolved to not think once about swimming until the filming day was over.
The evening air was soft, the night unusually still, and Piggy did her warming laps quickly, impatiently, while Kermit stood waist-high in the water and watched her. Piggy swam over to the ladder and pulled herself out. She looked at Kermit once, her face set, and climbed the ladder to the high dive.
Kermit could see her trembling a little on the board, imagined he could hear the muffled pounding of her heart. She stepped to the edge of the board, toes gripping, then the muscles in her sturdy legs bunched and she propelled herself up, began to go down. Something was amiss, however, and her center was off. She was falling, not diving, streaking toward the surface of the pool.
She hit the water hard. Frogs are usually graceful in the water, but there was nothing graceful about the way Kermit scrambled toward her, his heart in his throat. He hauled her up sputtering and carried her toward the shallow end. Before he could reach the shallows, Piggy began to struggle. Having little choice, Kermit released her. “Piggy…?”
Gonzo had, on more than one occasion, used the phrase “mad as a wet hen,” but a damp chicken had nothing on Piggy. There was fury in her face, pure and unadulterated. She stomped out of the water without acknowledging Kermit and started for the diving board ladder.
The next dive was not much better, but she did not hit the water as hard. The third and fourth were nothing to write home about, but they were head-and-shoulders over her first faltering attempts. Somewhere around her 12th dive, Piggy hit her groove. She pierced the water gracefully and came up out of the water ecstatic. Her 13th, 14th and 15th dive mirrored the perfection of her form.
Kermit let out a whoop and waded toward her, elated at her progress. He was dumbfounded when she threw her arms around his neck and kissed him—kissed him with heart and soul and relief and the joy of living. Kermit didn’t remember what he’d been about to say, but it no longer seemed important. As if realizing the effect she was having on him, Piggy dropped her arms with a little laugh and stepped back.
“That was wonderful, Piggy!” Kermit gushed. “That was absolutely amazing!’
Piggy put one hand on her ample hip and batted her eyes at him in mock flirtatiousness. “I know that,” she quipped. “But how was my diving?”
Kermit laughed out loud. “Just great, Piggy,” he said softly. “You’re really going to wow them now.”

 

[The Flying Sheep]

This chapter deserves a Woot. Woot!

 

[Ruahnna]

Woot?

This chapter deserves a Woot. Woot!

Gee, thanks. Is that, like, a sheep thing? Seriously--glad you enjoyed it. More surprises to come.

 

[ReneeLouvier]

Wow, simply amazing, Ru!! I loved this chapter so much! Can't wait for more!

 

[redBoobergurl]

I love this! Piggy sure is determined and Kermit's trying so hard to teach her! This is just so cute, I can't wait to read what's next.

 

[The Flying Sheep]

Gee, thanks. Is that, like, a sheep thing?

No, it's a So-Cal thing.

 

[Fragglemuppet]

Wow, all these chapters have been so great! I'm glad that Kermit and Piggy are finally on the same page now, and that last bit with the kiss and the diving were funny!
Did I mention that your writing just blows me away? Your diction and style are just so perfect! Oh, and you're doing something I never thought you could; you're warming me up to Kermie/Piggy romance!

 

[green stuff]

Wow!! I'm really starting to like this story more and more! It's makes me all warm and fuzzy inside...not to mention that it's sheer brilliance! Your word choice is really just so awesome, and it paints such a beautiful and intricate picture of everything that you describe. I don't know, there's no words to describe how beautiful it is.. oh, I need a tissue. But seriously, you're doing a beautiful job! I can't wait to read more!

 

[Ruahnna]

“Gosh, Miss Piggy,” Fozzie exclaimed, wheeling his bicycle over to where she stood with hers. “You’re all dressed up. You look nice.” All around them, people were paired with various cycles, waiting for the signal to mount. The bike path had been reserved for them that morning, and they were hoping to have this footage completed before the morning sun became too warm.
“Thank you, Fozzie,” Piggy said, fluffing the layers of her skirt at little. “Blame it on wardrobe.” Everyone else seemed appropriately attired for bicycle riding, but Piggy’s ladylike dress seemed more ornamental than athletic. And the lilac 2½-inch pumps were killing her feet.
Fozzie gave her a look. “Ahh--but wardrobe is only responsible for the dress.”
In spite of her aching feet, Piggy smiled. When you didn’t feel like throttling him, Fozzie could be very sweet, and he had made a point of being nice to her since her argument with Kermit. She stepped carefully out of her pumps to stand flat-footed on the grass. “I would kill for some bike shorts and a pair of tennis shoes.”
“Our insurance agent would never approve it” Kermit said, entering the conversation as he joined them, pushing his bicycle along. Gonzo trailed Kermit, pushing a unicycle that looked like a disaster waiting to happen. As he came to a stop, two washers and a long screw fell from underneath the seat onto the pavement, and Gonzo pocketed them with a surprising lack of curiosity.
Piggy looked at Kermit suspiciously.
“Would never approve what?” she demanded.
Kermit looked at her in surprise, but there was mischief in his eyes. “Piggy, if we put you on a bicycle in a pair a bike shorts, we’d have a 12-car pile-up on the freeway for sure.”
Piggy blushed furiously and gave him a look of pleasure and annoyance.
“Yeah,” Gonzo agreed, “but think of the great footage!”
“Cretin,” she muttered, but she did not object when Kermit offered his arm to her so she could step back into her shoes. Kermit might have further bedeviled her, but Scooter—who was also in this shot—was desperately trying to round everybody up around the curve of the trail so they could begin shooting. The hubbub dulled to a roar and everybody mounted their cycles and faced forward. Kermit had been eying Gonzo’s decrepit unicycle with alarm—speaking of insurance!—but his concern was unnecessary. Before Gonzo could take his place in the line-up, the lone wheel liberated itself from Gonzo’s barely-held-together contraption and rolled serenely into the water. Disappointed, but philosophical, Gonzo accepted a surrogate cycle and took his place among the others. After a moment’s consultation with the cameramen, Scooter trotted over to his own metal steed and hopped on. Ready or not….

“No really, I’m okay. It’s just a little scrape,” Kermit insisted. “I’ll put a little ice on it and I’m sure it will be just—Ow! Ow ow ow,” Kermit said in spite of himself. The other stunts had gone according to plan, but when he had tried to drop gracefully from the tree branch into a handstand on Piggy’s handlebars, his balance had been off. He’d slipped and crashed unceremoniously to the ground, whacking his left arm solidly against the handlebars.
He gasped as the set nurse gingerly moved his arm. She asked him to wiggle his fingers—which he did—then looked up at him grimly. “It’s not broken,” she said finally, “but I don’t think you’ll be doing any more hand-stands for a while.” She explored the arm bone gingerly with practiced hands, her eyes distracted. “Well, you won’t have to have a cast, but we need to put it in a sling.”
Kermit’s head whipped around and he looked to Scooter.
“Did we—did we get it on film?”
Scooter smiled slightly and nodded. “Yeah, Boss. We got everything—including your fall.”
“And it was great!” Gonzo said, with gusto. “But you could have put more into the landing.” Several people cast him annoyed looks. “What?” he asked, utterly bewildered by their behavior. “Geez, try to give a guy a little constructive criticism….”
Piggy stepped forward. There was a warning light in her eye. “Forget the stupid film,” she said, her cheeks flushed. “Are you okay?” Behind her, Fozzie chewed his fingers anxiously.
“Um, sure,” Kermit said, standing with some difficulty. With his good arm, he cradled his injured one, and smiled in what he hoped was a reassuring manner at everyone. “I’m fine—really.” He did not, however, quite meet Piggy’s eyes before turning to Scooter, again.
Scooter met his eyes sadly and shook his head. “We don’t have enough raw footage—even if we splice we’re probably going to be short in the scene with just you and Piggy.”
Kermit sighed and fretted. Piggy was at his elbow again, and he braced himself for a lecture on priorities, but when she spoke, it was to Scooter.
“Is everything okay except the fall?”
“What? Oh, yeah—well, actually the fall is okay, too.” He smiled a lop-sided smile. “It’s the landing that was the problem.”
Piggy fell silent, but her brow furrowed in concentration. “Could we—“ She turned on Kermit suddenly. “Could you fall into my bike basket?”
“Into your—oh.” Kermit was thinking, looking up at the branch and calculating. “Yeah,” he said finally. “I could do that.”
“Kermit, no,” Fozzie said. The nurse looked disapproving.
“No—I could. I can do that.”
“I don’t know, Boss,” Scooter said, but his eyes looked hopeful. “Do you really think so?”
“With an injured arm? Without killing yourself?” Piggy demanded. Kermit nodded, certain he could manage it. It wasn’t that far a drop, and he was certain that aiming his tushie at a basket was going to be easier that trying to land and balance on the handlebars had been.
“Yes,” he said, certainty in his voice.
Piggy stepped around to look him in the eye, then leaned forward and spoke so softly that no one else could hear. “I will let you try this one time—and one time only. If you get it, great—if you don’t, and you’re still breathing, that’s it. No more.”
Kermit gave her a hard look. “Let me?” he huffed. He glared at her for a moment, then he saw it—saw the fear beneath the anger and determination.
Piggy leaned closer, her eyes boring into his. “Let you,” she repeated. “Just like you let me.”
Kermit smiled then, and reached out with his good hand to squeeze Piggy’s arm. “Alright,” he said. “Let’s run this.”

Later, when the film was safely in the can, Kermit’s arm had been iced and secured in a sling, and Piggy had changed into more comfortable clothes, they say in the quiet auditorium watching the dailies roll. The scene had played well, and they had even reshot the ending with Kermit lounging comfortably in Piggy’s bike basket.
It looked nice. Everybody was happy with it. Kermit was glad it was over. He looked at Piggy and smiled. Wearily, she smiled back.
“Your turn on Monday,” he said, knowing she was thinking it. “That’s when the folks from the water ballet arrive.”
“Yes,” Piggy said, and she seemed surprisingly composed. “I’ll be ready.” She started to stand, but Kermit stopped her.
“Wait a minute,” he said. “I want you to see something.” Piggy sank back into the seat, watching as Kermit went up to the sound booth, spoke to the crew members inside and returned to his seat. Piggy looked a question at him, but he merely nodded toward the screen as the film began to roll.
It was the lake footage. They watched in silence, Piggy’s unreadable, Kermit’s uncertain, until the film went white. It seemed a long time before Piggy spoke.
“It’s good,” Piggy admitted, her voice quiet. Something about the genuineness of the emotion in the scene came shining through, transcending the story-line.
“Yes,” Kermit said quietly. “I thought so, too.”
There was a small silence. “Are you going to use it?”
“I want to.” Kermit turned a last to look at her again, and found her gaze on him, steady and unreadable. Piggy shrugged slightly without expression.
“Your call.”
Kermit leaned for to take her hands, forgetting for a moment the sling that encumbered him. He winced and let out a short gasp, but took Piggy’s hand firmly in his good one. “I don’t want to do it without your permission. I want—I need you to be okay with this.”
Piggy looked at him for a moment, then a smile began to quirk the corners of her mouth. “You know me,” she quipped. “I’m all about the work.”
Kermit smiled back. “That makes two of us, doesn’t it?”
Piggy shrugged again, but expressively, and her smiled broadened a little. “That’s what we have in common.”
Kermit shook his head slowly, his expression suddenly serious. “No, Piggy,” he said quietly. “That’s just one of the things we have in common.”
Slowly, they stood, Piggy giving him a little elbow support because he was off-balance.
“Want to get a bite to eat?”
Piggy almost said no. It was in her eyes and on her lips, but what actually came out was. “That would be nice.” She blinked in surprise, then looked at him soberly. “But it’s not a date.”
“No—no date,” Kermit agreed. “Just two…friends, having a bite to eat.”
“Sound good,” Piggy said finally. And it was.