A Muppet Baseball Story

[minor muppetz]

Chapter 11

They went to a trainning room, to get back in shape.

"Okay, we've got to get you all back to normal", said Rowlf, "I'll get some excersize equipment."

Rowlf opened a closet door, and saw Clifford stuck in there, looking like a giant slug who was stuck.

"Help!", said Clifford, "Get me out of here!"

Beaker then showed up.

"Mee mee mee mee mee", said Beaker.

"Oh, you're back, Beaker!", said Bunsen, "And you're no longer a chicken."

"Well, you can help us", said Rowlf.

Rowlf held onot Clifford's hadns, while Kermit grabbed around Rowlf's waist, Bunsen grabbed around Kermit's waist, and Beaker grabbed onto Bunsen.
"Okay, let's pull!", said Kermit.

They all pulled, and Clifford got out, though he was sent flying out, squashing the others.

"I am happy to be out of that closet!", said Clifford.

Rowlf got Bunsen off of him.

"Okay, we've got to train you all", said Rowlf.

"But we don't need to look like trains", said Fozzie.

"This is no joking matter!", said Kermit.

"I have an invention that could help them", said Bunsen, who showed them a big machine with a long metal broon stick attached, Overybody, get onto this!"

So those who could grabbed onto the stick, and those who couldn't got on top.

"Now, I shall push this button", said Bunsen, who pressed it, and all the unhealthy players went spinning around the room, really fast. Eventually, it got really super fast, and Bunsne turned it off, and everybody was sent flying around (and out of) the room.

"Now, is everybody in perfect shape?", asked Bunsen.

They were al still weird-looking.

Gonzo, who was now shaped like a triangle, said "Well, I am a perfect shape".

Sweetums then ran in.

"Okay, I'd like to be oin your team!", said Sweetums.

"Great", said Rowlf, "Get into a uniform!"

"But we will still need a few more players", said Kermit.

Dr. Teeth, Floyd, Janice, and Animal then came in.

"We hear you need more players", said Dr. Teeth.

"Like, we rully could play on the team, instead of in the band, for this game", said Janice.

"GAAAAME!", shouted Animal.

"That's the spirit", said Floyd.

"Okay, you can all be on our team", said Rowlf.

"Excellant", said Floyd.

"Zoot and Lips offered to play the music on their own", said Janice.

"Well, now we've got enough people for our team", said Rowlf, "Let's play ball!"

 

[minor muppetz]

Chapter 12

The game was beginning.

"Ladies and gentlemen", said Louis Kazagger, "It's time for the game to begin. But first, the National Anthem!"

"I hope this national anthem is decent", said Sam.

This time, Zoot and Lips played a rousing jazz performance of The National Anthem. After the performance, everyone applauded. Except for two...

"They like that version?", said an outraged Johnny Fiama.

"Who should I attack?", said Sal.

"That was a fine performance", said Statler.

"What did you like best about it?", asked Waldorf.

"The fact that we didn't get to hear them sing!", said Statler.

Statler and Waldorf laughed.

Even Sam the Eagle liked the performance.

"That was a decent rendition of the song", said Sam.

"And now, it's time to play ball!", said Louis kazagger, "And I must remind you that today is bat day. Bats get in for free! And now, here are the teams, Team Mupet versus The Mighty Pigs!"

Zoot and Lips started playing "Take Me Out to the Ball Game".

Team Muppet was first to pitch.

"Okay, we've got sligthly new players", thought Kermit, "But I think we can still beat them."

Kermit pitched the ball, but the batter hit the ball.

Animal caught the ball.

"BALL! BALL!", yelled Animal.

"Don't just stand there, Animal!", yeled Floyd, "Get him out!"

Animal chased after the player and tackled him, getting him out.

"You're out!", yelled Sweetums, who acted as umpire.

"Hmm", thought Miss Piggy, "Show offs".

Rizzo and Pepe were watching the game in their poor conditions.
"People are laughing at us, okay", said Pepe, "I cannot take any more of this!"

"We can't even play on their team", said Rizzo.

"I wonder if we will ever get out of this", said Pepe.

"Well, if we can't, at least I can still eat cheese", said Rizzo.

Soon, it was time for the Muppets to hit the balls. Miss Piggy went first.

"Hey, pretty lady, can I have your autograph?", asked the umpire.

"Oh, of course!"< said Miss Piggy, "Where should I sign?"

"On my glove", said the umpire.

Miss Piggy turned arounda s the ball was thrown, and the umpire caught it.

"Strike oen!", said the umpire.

"Strike this", said Miss Piggy, "hiiiii-ya!"

Miss Piggy hit the umpire with her bat, and then she hit the next ball, the umpire being too unconcious.

"This is embarrassing, man", said Clifford.

"I can't see where to throw my boomerang fish", said Lew Zealand.

"I still can't get my arms out from my wrapped nose", said Gonzo.

"Well, I'm sure we can get better", said Scooter, "I just know it!"

"Well, know it faster", said an impatient Link.

Soon, it was the last inning.....

"Well, with one more round to go, The Mighty Pigs are six points ahead of Team Muppet", said Louis Kazagger, "But don't worry, we'll have a happy ending".

The audience groaned.

"I can't beleive that the announcer just blew away the ending for me", said a disgusted Sam.

Janice went to hit the ball.

"You can't hit this ball", said the umpire, "You're just a girl!"

"Oh, yeah!", said Janice, "Watch!"

The pitcher threw the ball, and Janice hit a home run, and ran.

"I guess I am wrong", said the umpire.

It was Sweetums' turn to bat.

The pitcher threw the ball, but Sweetums just opened his mouth and ate the ball.

"Strike one!", said the umpire.

The pticher threw it again. Sweetums ate that ball.

"Strike two!", said the umpire, "Don't you even know how to play baseball?"

"No", said Sweetums, "Will you please teach me?"

"No!", said the umpire.

This lead to Sweetums hitting the umpire with his bat, and he missed the third ball.

"At this rate me just might not win", said Rowlf.

Beaker was next to bat. The pticher threw the batt, and hit Beaker's nose. Then he threw a ball that hit Beaker's mouth. Then he threw a ball that Beaker just plain missed, and the bal sliped out of his hands and fell on the pitcher.

"Ouch!", yelled the pitcher.

"I wish we had more character development for The Mighty Pigs", said Statler.

"Why?", asked Waldorf.

"So that people could actually care more about Team Muppet winning", said Statler, "They aren't big enough jerks!"

It was soon Kermit's turn, and he was the last one to bat.

"Okay, I'm going to hit this ball", said Kermit.

The pitcher pitched, and Kermit missed.

"Strike one!", said Kermit.

"Oh, I really hope that Kermie hits this ball", said Miss Piggy.

"He can be a hero for us", said Scooter.

"I can't see the game", said Lew Zealand.

But Kermit missed again.

"Strike two!"

"Strike two? Oh, no! We'l never win...", cried Fozzie.

"Of course we'll win", said Rowlf.

"How can you be so sure?", asked Fozzie.

The thrid ball was thrown, and Kermit... missed.

"Strike three!"

Everyone cheered.

"Wait!", said Fozzie, "Why is everybody cheering?"

"Must be the fans of the other team", said Scooter.

"No, actually, we won", said Rowlf, "We were already two points ahead when Kermit batted!"

"Oh", said the team.

Up in the bleachers, Rizzo and Pepe had suddenly gone back to normal.

"Hey, we don't look so weird anymore", said Rizzo.

"We don't?", said Pepe, who looked at his reflection, "We don't, okay!"

And the other Muppets had gone back to their normal looks, too, and the whole team, plus cheerleaders and band members, went to pose for a group photo.

"Well, we won", said Kermit.

"We sure did", said Rowlf.

"I am happy", said Miss Piggy.

"Me, too", said Clifford.

"Mee mee!", said Beaker.

The press came to ask them questions.

"You just won the championship", said The Newsman, "What will you do now?"

"I'm going to Sesame Place!", shouted Kermit, proudly, and then the picture was taken.

The End


P.S. if this was a movie, there would have been a big production number either before the picture scene or after.

 

[minor muppetz]

I'm starting to think, if this were to be made as a movie, it would need a seriously major rewrite. I feel like Fozzie, Miss Piggy, Gonzo, and even Kermit are severely underused here. I don't know if a coach can be a player on a team, which is why I had Rowlf coach while Kermit was pitcher, but it seems like their lines could have gone to either.

Now that I think of it, it seems like I had Robin make frequent appearances throughout the first act, but by the last game he is nowhere to be mentioned.

If this was a movie, I guess there would need to be more humans. And one of the teams (probably the competing team in the championship) would need more character development, and become more crucial to the plot in some way.

 

[minor muppetz]

Here are some ideas that I had, whcih I decided not to include:

I thought about having the Muppets play at an out of town game, using the Electric Mayhem bus as their team bus, and all sharing a hotel room and the same bed (The Electric Mayhem would sleep in the bus, though).

In addition to that out of town game, I thought about having Sweetums decide that he wanted to be on the team and chase after the bus when it goes out of town (like in The Muppet Movie).

During the championship game, I thought about having Beaker get his head stuck inside a bucket (like in The Muppets at Walt Disney World), and eventually get it off and have it land on one of the rival players. But I've used the idea of Beaker getting his head stuck inside a bucket in a few recent fan fictions.

And I wanted to write the whole lyrics to the national anthem, only I don't know all the lyrics off-hand.