Okay here it is
 
Dear The Owner of The chair,
    Me and my roomate The  Mummenschanz were watching ducks outside of our window while we noticed that your turquoise chair is on our lawn.The corn chips we have spead on the lawn clash with it and I will not stand for it. Also, my mother Is coming to meet my fiance and having such a monstrosity of disgust on my lawn is completely unacceptable. Please remove it IMMEDIATLY . And let me add I would appreciate it if your roomate would stop muttering  warthog EVERY time I'm out doors. Thank You!!
 From,
   Miss Piggy
 
 
 
YOUR TURN FRACKLEFAN2012