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*eyes widen at Vibs* DanDan: My dear...you have unlocked an ancient curse. Now every time you eat a potato you must say "my cupboard's daughter is missing" or the potato will taste like....potatoes!!!

*comes out from behind plant after hearing Vibs read the message* DanDan: Oh my gosh! The girl speaks the ancient language of Toasted Pickle. My dear, never ever say that message again! Or the world is doomed! Cover yourself in pepper then climb into my mouth for protection...

Oh this? This is...erm....*runs away into the night*

*sniff* We've only been in a relationship 5 minutes and you're already introducing me to your sister....I'm so touched!!

*picks fainted Jack up off the floor* Here, my dear...this will make you feel better...*takes off boot and puts it in Jack's mouth*

Oh my Jack, you're a much better kisser than that poodle I keep in a shoebox under the stairs...:flirt:

*Cradles Jack* JACK!! ARE YOU OK??? *gives Jack mouth-to-mouth*

*listens* Did I just hear that dreamy Jack falling? *sprints to his aid with bandages and a banana*

*back at the moppet's house* Where is that brother of mine??? I need some new melons, perhaps if I page him and tell him it's an emergency....*pages Moppet the word "emergency, come home"*

Excuse me! I do have feelings, Mrs Moppet. Or is that fleas....? Oh yeah it's fleas. I always get those 2 mixed up...

*chases Jack around kitchen* Oh Jackie come back to me! Please! I promise to stop eating people close to you. I mean once or twice I might gnaw on one of your relatives kneecaps, but that's normal right?? RIGHT???

DanDan: *grabs Jack* Oh Jack I'll never turn against you...

Fem: *awkwardly* Well, I think there's a documentary on about mushrooms with sunglasses...or sunglasses with mushrooms...or something...so I really should get...erm...*sprints home*

*Fem enters, panting* Fem: DanDan!!! You just threw me out of the car!!! DanDan: And? That's hardly a crime is it? Fem: Well actually I think... DanDan: Relax, Fem. Just have some toast...*winks at camera*

Breakfast?? With a baby??? Oh this is just too easy...

*toaster pops up and the smell of burnt chicken fills the room* DanDan: C'mere Jack...I made you some breakfast....it'll taste yum if you just pick the feathers off...*puts foot on counter* I like to use my toes, don't you?

Fridge?? What is this fridge you speak of?? Oh forget it I'll just shove it in here...*shoves chicken in toaster*

*bashes through kitchen wall with mallet* I think you mean DanDan!!! *presents mother with chicken* Here....it's from the farm I used to live under.

5137 What a trip :p

DanDan: Did someone say hammer?? *hugs hammer* At last...recognition.... ps. The story is brill