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Many happy returns, Figgie. Have a slice of virtual birthday cake (make a wish first!) and wash it down with a Figgie-Fizz! Bert won't mind. :)

Vincent- Happy Birthday from one side of the planet to the other.

Definitely not Wimzie's House, which came later... Wow, you might have stumped the panel.

Landlines are not obsolete just yet, but they're definitely heading that way. The phone companies still print out phone books, but now they're just business Yellow Pages. Residential White Pages seems to have beaten landlines to the grave. So I guess you have to resort to whitepages.com. But...

The Kingsmen- "Louie Louie". After the first line, drunkenly slurred, "Louie Louie, whoa baby, we gotta go, yeah yeah yeah", you're on your own. But buried in there, you can actually hear, "Every night at ten, I *** her again". Almost 50 years after being recorded, and many cover versions...

I'm surprised this one hasn't come up yet: The Eagles- "Hotel California" Misheard: "On a dark desert highway, Cool Whip in my hair" Actual: "On a dark desert highway, cool wind in my hair" And one that still defies description, Steve Miller - "The Joker": "And I speak of the pompitus...

Feliz Cumpleanos!

On the subject of worrying and anxiety, I hope you all get to discover the same thing I have by the time you get to be my age... You'll look back and see you spent a lot of time worrying, but you probably won't remember what you worried about. A lot of trials and tribulations you're facing...

It would be fun to see this little girl in a few decades running a corporation of her own, bearing the brunt of protesting cranks. I wonder how the shoe would feel on the other foot? How will her mommy advise her to deal with it? Time will tell....

Not even the poor people that can't afford to go away say "staycation". Which begs the question, if you do happen to be on a "staycation", and you sleep over at a friend's house, does your staycation end?

Growing up, the way things used to work, as far as the networks were concerned, seasons generally started the first or second week in September. I remember when the 3 networks (CBS, NBC, ABC) would introduce their new Saturday morning cartoon line-ups with specials the Friday night before. And...

Big and little hamburger. Grover invents the slider. Maybe White Castle will pick up on that someday...:)

Just like I mentioned last year. Ya wanna be an artist? Pay your dues first. Be true to yourself first. Look at John Lennon. Bob Dylan. Neil Young. Van Morrison (how far do I need to go?) And before you get delusional to consider yourself an artist, wait at least until you're old enough to buy beer.

Yes indeed. At least half of them were cereal commercials- Kellogg's, Post, and General Mills' deep pockets sponsored a lot of shows. Then you had the toy commercials, and a token PSA (don't pollute, try to eat healthy, and don't blow your allowance on crap they advertise on tv!). Ain't that a...

Who's Ray Manzarek, might Collgoff ask? Let me fill you in... Once upon a time there was a rock group called The Doors, and if you ever heard "Light My Fire" on the radio, you'll recognize Ray's keyboard riffs that gave the band their first #1. While lead singer Jim Morrison was busy getting...

I've seen the "helpers" too when Sandy hit here six months ago. Being in a disaster area is not fun, putting it lightly. My prayers for the victims, and everyone who has to pick up the pieces now.

You've even stumped me on this one. I can recall just about anything from the first decade or so, (anything past 1983 or so gets a little fuzzy). This sounds vaguely familiar, but I'm afraid I can't remember anything more specific. So I wouldn't call you crazy, and just because others can't...

I also used to think teachers lived at school. They're there before you arrive, they stay after you leave, and they seem to have a grand old time together in the "Faculty Lounge". Maybe they slept in the gym, who knows. This is what a 5-year-old's logic will get you.

What exactly is a "humdinger"? And how would I go about dinging your hum?

Wrap your brain around this- a stopped clock is still correct twice a day. Heavy, ain't it?