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Does anyone know how to get a muppet ringtone without having to subscribe to some annoying "joke of the day" sort of thing or pay exorbitant prices every month? I'd like a muppet ringtone on my phone but don't want to pay out the nose for it. Any help appreciated!!

Ooh--the frog's past is--literally--out of the close! Jim once said that the original muppet humor depended a lot on explosions and characters eating other characters. Nothing at all like the sophistication of, say, Dr. Honeydew and the gorilla detector, or Gonzo eating a tire to the tune of...

Hey Marty--we are still praying for your mother at our church. I'm glad to hear she is receiving good chaplain care at the hospital, but know this will be a long month for both of you. Does your mother have things to entertain her in the hospital? I know is can be VERY boring. Does she do...

I think this was a lovely job, and I think Bowser is a good choice for a guest star. (Love Sha Na Na) I find writing this sort of half-script, half-outline all difficult. I'm impressed with your first effort. When you're ready, hit us with another one!

Wow--what a nice familial ending, with everyone settling back into real life. Things I loved: I like Kermit walking quietly through the chaos all around him, nodding to himself, happy to see everything getting back to the way it should be. And you know I like that, once he's satisfied...

Nice chapter. I'm glad to have a resolution to the Doc Hopper situation. Also glad Kermit is going home for some down time. He needs a break.

(In a ethereal, ghostly voice) Come over to the ushy-gushy side Lisa.... You know you want to....

Chapter 26: It's Christmas Time All Over the Stage The audience shifted excitedly in their seats as soon as the Electric Mayhem took the stage, even though the lights weren’t on yet. At Dr. Teeth’s signal, there were four quick clicks of the drumsticks, then a blast of noise and sound as all...

Reports of my demise... ...have been greatly exaggerated. Here's most of the second half of the Vegas show. More to follow but not tonight, er, this morning. Quick note: I have noted the languages used in "It's Christmas Time All Over the World" which is by Hugh Martin.

Hey Aaron--I'm really sorry to hear you're having such a difficult time. I know that modern medicine sometimes falls short of pain relief, but I do believe that our minds have enormous capacity to cope with things. I think your most powerful tool is your imagination, and with it, you can move...

Maybe we could shorten this list by simply asking, "Who HASN'T Miss Piggy abused at one time or another?" (That's my girl!)

(Last night after the party.) (Catherine, Piggy, Kermit and Fozzie step off the elevator together. Catherine moves off toward their room, but Kermit and Piggy pause, looking at each other shyly.) Kermit: Um, Fozzie--wait here for a moment while I walk Piggy to her door. Fozzie: But I...

(Catherine and Piggy are happily knoshing on the delicious food with Hilda and Leyla and a few new faces. Their drink glasses are empty, however, and Catherine goes back to refill them. She is just turning from the table when she stops, her mouth opens in surprise, and she hastily puts the...

Catherine: C'mon, Piggy--let's go get some chow! Piggy: I'm your girl! (looks a little down) Catherine: What's the matter, honey? Homesick? Piggy: (blushing) No, not homesick. I just--I just wish Kermit could have come back this year. It won't be the same without him. Catherine: (working...

Ooh--I know Gatlinburg--I was born in Knoxville! Oh, sorry, forgetting my job, here. Hi, I'm Ru, and I'll be your tour guide. Welcome to ushy-gushy land! (Does Vanna arms) We've got lots of room yet for people to move in, so pick a spot that looks good to you and settle right in. If you...

Showered and dressed in record time, Catherine attempts to do something unscary with her hair. The third attempt is moderately successful and she clips the whole curly mess up in a big red poufy clip. Her dress is not freshly pressed, but it is freshly steamed from the shower and it will do...

(rushes desperately to room 18 and beats on door) Hellow? Anybody home? Hello? Can you tell me what time the party starts tonight?

(A seemingly endless supply of hefty, furry movers comes marching into room 20, bringing boxes, bags, clothing trucks, a rufflely pink canopy bed, two purple tweed recliners, a coffee table and several bags of what might be groceries. Catherine directs some things to their spots and looks blank...

The door to room 20 swings open slowly. Catherine (Ru) and Piggy step into the now glistening clean room. Catherine: Wow, Piggy--they did a great job on the room, didn't they? And look, they got the renovations done in record time. See--we won't have to give up any of our space just because...

Do you have cute legs? Maybe you have cute legs.... Better watch out for Doc Hopper!