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Jack: *blinks at Mr. Harvey* Mr. Harvey! Old chum, old pal, mi amigo! Listen here buddy... you know how much I've always admired you and everything you do... It would just be... peachy if I could get a job working at Wilson's Home and Garden (or whatever you're calling yourselves)! That way... I...

Hi there Jim! How're things? How are the book sales going? Big plans for 2009? I certainly hope so! Now... for my question! Were you at all involved in the pre-production of the never-produced show, "Uncle Deadly's House of Badness"? It seems like a really interesting idea and I'd love to know...

Jack: ...Would that involve speaking/spending time with Vibs? Well... I guess this WOULD give me a chance to be more popular than her in front of small children. *claps hands together* Okay, it's settled, I'm going to school with the twins! ...When do we start?

Jack: *quickly rips earrings off* YEOW! *ahem* Tea... that comes between S and U! See? I'm PERFECT for school! And I just have to go back--D.C.--that's Don Cannoli, my boss--says if I don't graduate kindergarten I'm fired! I can't look for another job in this economic climate! ...I guess I could...

Jack: *quickly drops handfuls of Mother's jewelry back in the box* Oh, Bo, you're up! Erm... hi. I'm in your bedroom... as you can tell. I wanted to talk to you about... something. Listen, *sits down on Bo's bed* I've been thinking... and, well, I never got past kindergarten in school... and...

Jack: *sniff* He forgot to mention me... *blink* Or am I one of the flora?

Jack: *blink* Bill the Frank Millhouse Cattenberry Postman... I'm Ja--...Mr. Jack M.W. Bandit. Mr. M. or Mr. W. for short. Mr. Shaquille O'Neal for tall! HA!

Jack: *ears perk up* I say... did I hear someone say money? *darts next to Bo* *extends hand* Hullo, Bo-Bo, my name is Mr. M--or Mr. W. It's my alias. Aliases? Aliasi...? Depends on which angle you're looking at, I guess. Money please!

Jack: *smacks his head* Just open the door, Bo. Maybe he's delivering a book of unicycle lessons.

Jack: The only one who seems to care about the plight of my lack of unicycle skills is the insurance salesman and the mysterious invisible voice that may or may not belong to the invisible butler. *turns to window* And now the mailman is here! GREAT! Another thing to distract from my pain and...

Jack: *bites down on lip as eyes begin to water* YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOW! ! ! ! *sniffs* I... I think that was connected to part of my brain... I don't remember how to ride a unicycle anymore! ! GAH! What will I live for now?

Jack: *shifty eyes* Er... right, nothing about that... at all. *laughs nervously* *grabs the tablecloth off the kitchen table, knocking everything off* *puts table cloth over head* There. That covered up enough for ya? *grumbles*

Jack: *shakes head fiercly, causing the flower to bobble about* I am NOT a flower! I'm... I'm... I'm a flower... *frowns* Someone put me in a vase so I don't wither away...

Jack: *sways drunkenly* Did anyone get the license plate of that semi that hit me...? *collapses* *begins shaking violently* Announcer: It appears that Jack is having an allergic reaction to the vine-bite! Could this be the end for our convict hero? Will Nanny Mingostone ever get to show off...

Jack: *eyes widen* *gulps* I've heard of cutting to the chase, but this is ridiculous! *cowers behind the couch* Liza, don't do it! Don't give me the axe! You'll... you'll chop down the only family in the tree you've got! There's so much I haven't done yet! Held a steady girl, robbed the World...

Jack: *pokes the vine strangling Father* Erm... Bo... this vine is really getting cozy with you--which I'm sure you noticed. Won't your wife... oh... what's her name... Christy! Won't Christy get mad when she finds you've been cuddling up with poisonous plants? By the way... the toilet's...

Jack: *strolls downstairs whistling* *blinks at general goings-on* You're all still here? ...And who's the green chick? *sees the leprachauns* Lemme guess... Leaf Green and the Seven Dwarves? Clever plot twist, I must say. Speaking of which... why are there toasted bagels on the floor? ...And...

Jack: *opens mouth to rebuttle* ...Ya know what, there's no point. *spies Mairin and Jason being lovey-dovey* Well, I can see I'm no longer needed. *claps hands together* Good night Goaty! ...Goatee? Tea? Father? ...*looks around* Where am I? Oh. Right. Night!

Jack: *sniffs* *twists face* *pinches nose* No... I d'ink YOU've god id!

Jack: *throws hands out at the side* Welp, I'm lost. Goat, old buddy, what say we make like a banana and split? ...I guess in your case it would be make like a banana and grow more rotten and more brown by the hour... but we'll just pretend we have some similarities.